Disclaimer: Certain people may "own" Digimon, but I believe we each "own" a bit of each character in our own heart...just that these bits are not in the same configuration as Toei presents them... (heh heh...did that make sense? 0_o?? )
Ch. 5: Angel's Arms
"Ken!!" Miyako screamed his name as she watched Ken disappear from view. The next thing she saw was the blurred form of Aquilamon, as he flew above the metal bars and tried to out-fly Ken's falling body. Miyako ran to the edge of the roof, praying that some god was listening and that Aquilamon could catch Ken before it was too late. A painful few seconds later, the giant bird-type digimon flew back up to his partner with a very scared Ken in his claw.
Miyako and Hawkmon brought a shaking Ken downstairs to his room. When they went in, a still stunned Daisuke immediately started walking over to Miyako and Ken. Ken looked extremely pale and, quite frankly, it scared the heck out of Daisuke. He was finally beginning to see what was happening, and was afraid to ask what had happened.
"...what...happened, Miyako?"
The female digidestined tried to break it to him gently. "Ken tried to throw himself off the roof. We're extremely lucky that Hawkmon and I got to him in time." Miyako was not about to tell Daisuke just how successful Ken would have been if she and Hawkmon had gotten there a split second later.
Daisuke sunk to his knees and stared at the floor in horror. /How could things have gone so far? How could Ken think that he could throw away his life like that?/
"Miyako...please bring Ken to me...please..." Daisuke sounded like he was about to cry.
Miyako did as she was asked and laid Ken in Daisuke's waiting arms. Daisuke looked down at Ken, tears forming in his eyes.
"Speak to me, please speak to me," Daisuke pleaded. But Ken wouldn't look at him. He kept his head turned the other way. "Why, Ken. Why? Why would you want to do something so stupid like that? Why would you want to kill yourself?"
"Because...you don't need me...in your life. No one does. No one would miss me...if I was gone...and the media would just assume that the boy prodigy just couldn't take the pressure of school anymore...and decided to end it all." Ken finished the last sentence with a little smirk, smiling at the irony of that statement.
"That's not true! There would be a lot of people that would miss you! Don't you understand that?" Daisuke was practically yelling at Ken. The smirk Ken had on his face was terrifying him. He wasn't sure Ken was all there anymore, but he had to try to talk some sense into him.
"Wormmon would die if he lost you! He lost you once before, and he had to sacrifice himself to get you back. And then you promised him that you'd be with him forever when he reconfigured and came back to you. I'm sure the rest of the digidestined would miss you too. Our reunions wouldn't be the same without you! And I can't see my life without you. You're such a big part of my life. Both the good and bad parts are so much a part of me that I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't know you.
"Your parents...they'd miss you too. You don't want to break their hearts again, do you? Don't you remember when you were eleven and you ran away into the Digital World? They cried so much back then, especially your mom...and it's already bad enough that your brother's gone. How do you expect them to go on if you were to die too?" Daisuke was suddenly reminded of what they had been arguing about. A shot of panic surged through his mind.
"What else have you tried to do behind my back? You have to show me. You don't get a choice this time, Ken. Show me, now!!"
Still refusing to face him, Ken reluctantly pulled up his sleeves and showed Daisuke two fresh scars that ran up his arms like snakes racing towards his heart. Miyako gasped and put her hands over her face. Hawkmon squeezed his eyes shut, turned around and collapsed onto his knees, his face in his hands. Daisuke gave a blood-curdling scream and punched the floor.
"Ken, you used to be my best friend. I thought I knew everything about you. I remember when you gave up being the Kaiser...you were so unsure of yourself, so full of self-hatred...you just kept on lashing out at yourself, and blaming yourself for everything...and recklessly throwing your life into danger. You refused our help, as though the only way to make everything better was to punish, no, torture yourself. And then, one day, I couldn't stand seeing you do that to yourself anymore, so I slapped you really hard across the face.
"But, we're not little kids anymore, Ken! I don't want to lose your friendship, but I can't deal with this anymore! I don't know how to treat you now. I don't know how to stop you from hurting yourself anymore...I don't know what to do, how to act, what to say..." Daisuke trailed off, not knowing what to say next.
Through the hazy fog of despair, Ken's mind tried to focus on what Daisuke was saying. All the things Daisuke said had crossed his mind before, but somehow, it was different now that someone else was saying it to him with genuine terror and pain in their voice. And in the end, he realized that if he had actually died a few minutes ago, things would not have been any better for Daisuke, his friends, and especially his parents. Instead of being rid of his darkness, Daisuke would have been engulfed in it, and that was not something Ken wanted anyone to experience, least of all his best friend.
"It's alright, Daisuke," Ken whispered. He turned his head up and looked into Daisuke's teary eyes. "It'll be alright. Next year, I'll be going to Tokyo University. There's no need to worry any more...it will all be over soon." And then, Ken closed his eyes.
Notes:
-Yes, the title to the chapter is referring to the title of the prologue. This is the chapter where Ken gets to be in his angel's arms, though not in the way he wanted to be.
-Ironically, about two seconds after Daisuke slapped Ken in that episode, their digimon Jogressed for the first time ever... (no slap=no Jogress shinka...?... 0_o; )
-"It's alright, Daisuke...It will all be over soon." Ken says the exact same words that he said in the previous chapter, only this time, they mean something very different...sort of a contrast of the before and after of this suicide attempt.