Author's Note: You know the drill. They're not mine, and never have been, I just borrow em cuz I see them running around inside my head sometimes. I got the title from a Lifehouse song called "Breathing." Enjoy!
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"Mr. and Mrs. Cale, would you like to see your baby?"
Logan grinned and squeezed Max's hand, hardly containing his excitement. He looked down at Max and saw the worry in her face. He knew how scared she was. They were supposed to meet Zach and Tinga for lunch later to discuss Max's pregnancy. Logan leaned down and kissed Max's temple, whispering, "Don't worry, beloved. Our baby will be fine."
Max struggled to smile, finding little solace in his words. She nodded to the doctor, who began the ultrasound. She squeezed a cold, clear gel onto Max's slightly rounded stomach and began moving the sensor around. Max and Logan watched the screen, transfixed and awestruck. The image on the monitor was unintelligible. Max furrowed her brow, "Where is it?"
The doctor chuckled, "Hang on a sec. Your baby seems to be hiding from the camera."
Logan squeezed Max's hand again, "Just like her Momma."
The doctor raised an eyebrow, "Her?"
Logan smiled, "Max thinks we're having a girl."
The doctor nodded, "I won't be able to tell you for certain for several months whether or not your baby is male or female."
"No big," Max said distractedly. "We can wait."
Hearing Max's tone, Logan frowned slightly and looked down at his wife. She was staring at the monitor with tears in her eyes. Her breathing was deep and slow, as though she was trying to keep herself in control. Her body was stiff and rigid. The fear in his wife was palpable. Logan had rarely known her to be afraid, but it was obvious to him how much this pregnancy frightened her. They had never discussed having children, so the shock of an unexpected pregnancy was rough enough. However, being the result of genetic experiments was another thing. He could only imagine the horrors that were running through Max's mind. Sadly, Logan knew there was most likely very little he could do to calm her fears.
After the sonogram, the doctor handed them the first picture of their baby. Max barely looked at it and handed it to Logan. She sat up and said, "Doctor, you should know my past medical history. I don't know if it is in my file."
Supportively, Logan went to take her hand but Max withdrew her hands and placed them nervously in her lap. She took and deep breath, avoiding Logan's eyes, "In my family, there are several genetic defects. All my brothers and sisters have them. We are stronger than most and have heightened senses of sight, smell, and hearing." A look of dread began to mar Max's features.
The doctor was writing furiously in the chart. "Well, I'm not familiar with those particular genetic defects, but there are worse ones you could have."
Logan sighed.
Max stared at the doctor, "I do. My brothers, sisters, and I also have uncontrollable seizures. They range from shakes and tremors to full-blown grand mauls that can last over an hour. We take Tryptophan to control the, but it's usually not enough and we need higher doses to end the seizures." Every word was filled with pain as she imagined her child living the life she had led. The burden felt like a weight on her chest.
The doctor nodded and turned to Logan, 'Do you have any genetic defects in your family?"
He shook his head, "Not to my knowledge."
The doctor smiled kindly at Max, "I understand your concern. However, there is no guarantee that your child will inherit those problems. Especially since your husband has no family history of problems." She took out a note pad. "I'm writing you a different prescription. This should help keep your seizures in check. We normally give it to pregnant epileptics. It is less likely to have any unwanted side effects on your baby."
Max took the piece of paper from her and stared at it. She placed her hand on her stomach protectively, unaware of how intently Logan was watching her. She was unaware as he scheduled another appointment for her. All she could think of was the baby inside her and the life it would be damned to lead because it had the misfortune of having her, Manticore Class of '09 alum Maxine Guerva Cale, for a mother.
"Max," Logan said gently, wrenching his wife from her thoughts. "It's time to go." They had just enough time to get across town to meet Zach and Tinga.
They walked to their car in an uneasy silence. Logan kept glancing over at Max, hoping to see some sign from her. They climbed into the Aztec and sat quietly. The silence was painful. Finally, Logan took a deep breath, "Are you all right?"
She nodded dimly, "Swell. It's all good."
Logan reached out and placed his hand along the base on her skull and jaw, caressing the skin behind her ear with this thumb. "Max," he said softly.
She blinked, "Logan, I'm fine, really." But she could not bring herself to look at him. His touch was so gentle she wanted to weep, and she knew he was trying to comfort her, but it wasn't working. She was afraid that if she admitted her fears aloud, they would happen.
"Honey, you don't have to hide from me. We're in this together..." Logan began.
Max laughed bitterly and turned her head away, causing him to drop his hand. "Logan, I know you think we are, but we're not. This kid is in my body and if she's gonna be screwed up, it's my fault." Before he had a chance to respond, she reached for the door handle. "I gotta bounce. I don't feel much like going to lunch. Tell Tinga and Zach I'm sorry." And with that, she left, jogging away from the car.
"Max!" Logan called. His heart was screaming at him to go after her. But he knew how adept she was at being evasive. He growled in frustration and punched the steering wheel, "Dammit!" Then he turned the key in the ignition and drove off, hoping that in his travels he would find a way to help his wife.
* * *
When he arrived at the restaurant, Zach and Tinga were already there. Zach noticed him first and begrudgingly flagged him down. For the most part, Logan and Zach had resolved their differences, mostly for Max's sake, but they would never be best friends. Especially not when they were both in love with the same woman.
Zach frowned, "Where's Max?"
Logan sighed, "Where to you think?"
"She's wiggin, huh?" Tinga asked.
Logan nodded, "She's worried that the baby's going to inherit all the X-5 defects." He placed his head in his hands, "I don't know what to do."
"Are you afraid too," Zach asked in a tone Logan could not discern as one filled with derision or half hearted sympathy.
"Of course I am!" Logan snapped. "This is my wife and child we're talking about. Max is scared to death and there is nothing I can do to help her. We don't know what this pregnancy will do to her seizures, or what the seizures will do to the baby." Tears filled his eyes, "I don't want to lose either of them."
"Then why did you get her pregnant?" Zach asked coldly.
Logan glared at him, "We didn't plan this." He sighed and looked at Tinga. "I guess it never occurred to us. Even after Jace we didn't really think about it." Logan swallowed hard, thinking of all the times he had dreamt of having a normal life with Max-the house, white picket fence, two kids, a god, all of it. He looked at his de-facto brother and sister-in-law. 'We need to find out if any other Manticore engineered soldier, especially an X-5, other than Jace, has been pregnant."
"I was," Tinga said sadly.
Logan watched in astonishment as Zach reached out and took Tinga's hand. "You were?" Logan asked, virtually speechless. Tinga nodded. "What happened?"
She breathed deeply, "When we made the raid on Manticore, I was nearly four months along. I slept with a guy I had been casually dating, but he didn't want it. I dumped his ass and decided to keep it. Around my sixth month, my seizures got really bad. I went into labor at seven and a half months. Zach was with me. The doctors tried to save my baby, but he was too little. His lungs were only as developed as a fetus at six and a half months gestation. He had several small seizures and his heart gave out." Tears shone in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Logan whispered, fear filling his heart.
Zach patted Tinga's hand and released it. "Logan, you need to get your people to release the Manticore records on this. As far as I know, Max, Jace, and Tinga are the only transgenic females ever to get pregnant."
Logan nodded.
Tinga wiped her eyes, "Don't lie to Max about what we said. But you have to let her know that there's no proof that what happened to my baby will happen to yours. Besides, Jace's baby was fine. He's never exhibited any signs of seizures, but I think she gives him small doses of Tryptophan just in case." Tinga smiled encouragingly. "You need to be strong for Max, Logan. She's going to need you to get through this."
Zach and Tinga stood. "We'll be in touch," Zach said as Tinga patted Logan's shoulder.
"Be strong," she whispered.
"Yeah," he muttered, closing his eyes to the fear and sadness that were weighing his heart.
* * *
He found Max's new anti-seizure prescription on the floor of the car and decided to get it filled. On the way home from the pharmacy, Logan stopped of at Bling's. When he arrived, Bling was with a patient. "Hey hey my man, what's shakin'?" His jovial smile faded when he saw Logan's expression. He indicated to Logan to go into the small private gym in the back. When Bling entered after dismissing his patient and locking the front door, he found Logan going twelve rounds, bare fisted, with a punching bag. As Bling watched, Logan attacked the bag, obviously ignoring the pain that was throbbing through his hands. Bling stayed in the doorway, watching as Logan pummeled out his frustration.
When he had spent his energy, Logan leaned against the bag with a heavy sigh, slowly clenching and unclenching his fists as he winced in pain. Bling calmly walked to a small refrigerator and removed two ice packs. Handing them to his upset friend, he asked, "Did your night not go as well as you'd planned?"
Logan chuckled bitterly, "No, it was great." He stopped and looked at his swollen hands. "Max is pregnant."
Bling broke out into a huge smile, but quickly hid it as he saw the look in Logan's eyes. "So why aren't you breaking out the cigars?" Bling asked cautiously.
Logan sat wearily on a bench. "Max is freaking out. She's afraid the baby is going to inherit the Manticore party gifts."
"The seizures," Bling supplied.
Logan nodded.
"So where's Max?"
Logan threw up his hands dejectedly, "I don't know. She was pretty upset at the hospital and ran off." He bowed his head, his entire posture betraying his emotions. "I don't know what to do. Bling, what if she runs away? What if she decides not to keep the baby?"
Bling tried to smile reassuringly, "My man, max loves you. You know that. She'd never believe you. My guess is, she also loves the baby. I don't honestly think she'll abort the pregnancy. You've got to give her time to get used to this."
"What about me?" Logan exploded, rising to his feet. "Doesn't she think I'm scared? I don't know anything about kids, or about being a father. And it's not like I can run to my parents for advice." He looked down sadly. "Bling, I'm afraid I'm going to lose them both. Max's body might not be physically able for this. Manticore didn't exactly engineer their females to handle something like this."
Bling placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Logan, you two can handle this. Max is strong. She'll be fine and so will your baby."
Logan bit his lip and looked away, "I hope you're right."
Bling smiled, "Of course I am. Now go home and wait for your wife."
* * *
Max did not come home until nine p.m. For ten hours, she had wandered the city. She had gone to Jam Pony and made a few runs even though she had called in sick. After a trip to the Needle for some more head clearing, she had met Cindy and Kendra at Crash and they had discussed her "problem." Kendra still had no knowledge of Manticore, so they had talked about Max's concerns in terms of her "neurological condition."
"Boo," Cindy said gently. "You're dipping into Logan's gene pool with this kid. Your...condition might not be passed on. I mean, Logan does have some fine genes, if you know what I'm saying. And I'm a lesbian!"
"We don't know it won't be inherited," Max said, nursing her soda. Zach and Tinga had hunted her down at the Needle and she had found out about Tinga's baby. So, in the infant mortality a la Manticore department, they were 50/50. It looked like she was the deciding vote for X-5 motherhood. For seemingly the millionth time that day, Max fought back tears.
Kendra squeezed her hand, "Max, even if your baby *does* inherit it, so what? You and Logan will deal with it. I doubt you'll love the baby any less."
"But how could I knowingly do that to someone?" Max looked at Cindy, "How could I put my child through everything I went through?"
Cindy's eyes were full of sympathy, "Max, this baby won't go through what you went through, and on some level you know it. Lil Boo'll have you and Moneybags for parents."
Max smiled a half smile and sipped her soda. She knew Original Cindy and Kendra were right. She also knew that she had probably hurt Logan by running off on him and wigging out. She knew he must have been going through hell. Finishing her soda, she smiled at her friends sincerely, "Well, my girls, I gotta bounce. Gotta get home to make sure hubby's not freaking."
Cindy stood to hug her, "You gonna be okay?"
Max returned the hug, "Yeah, we're gonna be all good."
From her seat, Kendra reached out and patted Max's stomach, "Bye, Lil Boo."
Max chuckled.
As she approached the penthouse front door, keep in hand, Max took a deep breath. She patted her stomach and sighed, "Well, little one, let's go apologize to daddy." Her heart thundering, Max entered the apartment, discovering that most of the lights were off. Only the lights in the kitchen and computer room were on. When she didn't find her husband in the kitchen, Max quietly padded towards the computer room. Dismayed, she discovered Logan was not in there either.
She found him sitting on the couch in the dark, staring out the window. Gently, she sat behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder and kissing his neck. "Logan," she whispered. "Look at me." She crawled around him and took his face in her hands. His eyes were red and puffy, much like hers. They were both shaking. Max pressed her forehead to her husband's and kissed the tip of his nose. "I'm sorry." Looking deep into his eyes, she said, "I'm scared."
"I know," he whispered.
She ran her fingers over his stubble, "Are you?"
*Don't lie to Max* Logan remembered Tinga's words. Gazing into her emotive eyes, depths that he knew from experience one could get lost in, Logan lost all composure. His walls crumbled and he wept.
Seeing her husband, usually do strong and quiet, coming undone and in tears, broke Max's heart. *Oh God, I did this to him. We should have been going through it together, not alone* she thought. She took Logan into her arms and lay back onto the couch cushions. He clung to her, burying his face in her hair as she caressed his back soothingly. She wept too. They were weeping for joy. They were weeping in sadness.
When the crying had spent their energy, Max and Logan lay entwined on the couch. He kissed her deeply and murmured in a shaky voice, "Whatever you decide, I'll support." As much as it pained him to say that, he knew he had no other choice. He understood and shared Max's fear. What right did they have to bring a child into the world if it was going to be sick all its life?
Max's heart swelled with love and she kissed him back. "I love you. And we're keeping this baby." She smiled as she saw a spark fill Logan's eyes. She knew it was what he had been hoping for. Nevertheless, her smiled faded, "I spoke to Zach and Tinga. I know what happened to her baby. I am scared to death because our baby is blessed to have you for a father, but cursed to have all my Manticore goodies and me for a mother. I wouldn't wish what I have on anyone, especially not my own child."
"Max," he said softly, touching her lips with his fingertips to silence her. He placed his palm over her stomach, feeling the new bulge and the warmth of her body. "This baby couldn't have asked for a better mother. I look at you and I see the strongest, bravest, most beautiful woman I've ever known." Rising off the couch, he led her to the long mirror and positioned her in front of him. Taking her face in her hand from behind, he repeated, "This is the singularly most beautiful face I've ever seen. I said it when we met and I meant every word of it." His hands traveled down and rested over her stomach. Her soft hands came to rest on top of his.
"Logan" she said, looking at him in the mirror. 'What if something is wrong with the baby?"
"Then we'll handle it," he promised, kissing her hair.
His words were reassuring and for the first time in twenty-four hours, max was able to feel the joy of being pregnant.
"You must be hungry," he murmured, moving in the direction of the kitchen.
Her body felt cold when they broke contact and she reached out for him, "I can wait a little while. I just want you to hold me, hold us, for now."
Logan smiled, "There's nothing better I'd rather do, love." He lead her back to the couch and they settled on his, Logan lying on his back, Max resting against his chest, tracing idle patterns on his shirt. She closed her eyes and listen to the sounds of the room. Resting her head against Logan's chest, she could hear perfectly his heart beat. Max was amazed when she found her own heart beating in perfect synchronicity with her husband's. What truly shocked her was that, as she made her superhuman hearing even more acute, she could detect a third, faint heartbeat, also beating in rhythm with theirs.
With a gasp, she sat up.
"What?" Logan asked, concern etched on his face.
Beaming, Max leaned back against the couch and put Logan's ear to her belly. "Listen," she whispered. The Manticore blood that Max had put into Logan's veins had increased some of his abilities. An immeasurable smile spread across his handsome features as he picked up the baby's heartbeat. He felt Max thread her fingers through his hair and he wrapped his arms around her waist. His hearing was not as acute as Max's, and he could no longer detect the heartbeat, but he knew it was there. Logan once again took Max in his arms and held her, protecting his new family. The feeling that welled inside him was overwhelming.
Both parents were frightened for their child, knowing what kind of world they would be bringing him or her into. They also knew what they had gone through to be able to bring her into the world at all. It was changing for the better, day by day, with the help of people like the Cales. Max and Logan, although they both feared the possibility that their baby would inherit the seizures, knew that the ghosts of Manticore were nearly done haunting them. If their baby could be born without incident, then they knew they would be free finally, able to start their new life with their new daughter.
The only other worry in Logan's mind was what the pregnancy would do to his wife. "You know," he said some time later. "You're going to have to take it easy for the next five months, you know that right?"
Max sighed, "I know, I know. I was thinking about that. I'm gonna have to quit Jam Pony and stop riding both my bikes for a while."
"No Eyes Only crusades or general do-gooder ass kicking either, beloved," he said, teasingly.
"I know that too," she replied, slapping him good-naturedly. "But where will that leave you, oh might Oz?"
"I'll figure something out," Logan answered, chuckling. He looked down at his wife, "So, dinner?"
"There's still some chicken left over from last night," she told him.
"How about a stir fry or fajitas?"
Max grinned gleefully, "Fajitas. With chocolate sauce."
Logan blinked, amazed. "Huh?"
His wife laughed, "Just kidding, dear. I don't have any bizarre cravings yet. But just you wait." She poked his chest to punctuate her words.
"I can hardly wait," he said sincerely.
Max looked down at her stomach, "Me too."
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"Mr. and Mrs. Cale, would you like to see your baby?"
Logan grinned and squeezed Max's hand, hardly containing his excitement. He looked down at Max and saw the worry in her face. He knew how scared she was. They were supposed to meet Zach and Tinga for lunch later to discuss Max's pregnancy. Logan leaned down and kissed Max's temple, whispering, "Don't worry, beloved. Our baby will be fine."
Max struggled to smile, finding little solace in his words. She nodded to the doctor, who began the ultrasound. She squeezed a cold, clear gel onto Max's slightly rounded stomach and began moving the sensor around. Max and Logan watched the screen, transfixed and awestruck. The image on the monitor was unintelligible. Max furrowed her brow, "Where is it?"
The doctor chuckled, "Hang on a sec. Your baby seems to be hiding from the camera."
Logan squeezed Max's hand again, "Just like her Momma."
The doctor raised an eyebrow, "Her?"
Logan smiled, "Max thinks we're having a girl."
The doctor nodded, "I won't be able to tell you for certain for several months whether or not your baby is male or female."
"No big," Max said distractedly. "We can wait."
Hearing Max's tone, Logan frowned slightly and looked down at his wife. She was staring at the monitor with tears in her eyes. Her breathing was deep and slow, as though she was trying to keep herself in control. Her body was stiff and rigid. The fear in his wife was palpable. Logan had rarely known her to be afraid, but it was obvious to him how much this pregnancy frightened her. They had never discussed having children, so the shock of an unexpected pregnancy was rough enough. However, being the result of genetic experiments was another thing. He could only imagine the horrors that were running through Max's mind. Sadly, Logan knew there was most likely very little he could do to calm her fears.
After the sonogram, the doctor handed them the first picture of their baby. Max barely looked at it and handed it to Logan. She sat up and said, "Doctor, you should know my past medical history. I don't know if it is in my file."
Supportively, Logan went to take her hand but Max withdrew her hands and placed them nervously in her lap. She took and deep breath, avoiding Logan's eyes, "In my family, there are several genetic defects. All my brothers and sisters have them. We are stronger than most and have heightened senses of sight, smell, and hearing." A look of dread began to mar Max's features.
The doctor was writing furiously in the chart. "Well, I'm not familiar with those particular genetic defects, but there are worse ones you could have."
Logan sighed.
Max stared at the doctor, "I do. My brothers, sisters, and I also have uncontrollable seizures. They range from shakes and tremors to full-blown grand mauls that can last over an hour. We take Tryptophan to control the, but it's usually not enough and we need higher doses to end the seizures." Every word was filled with pain as she imagined her child living the life she had led. The burden felt like a weight on her chest.
The doctor nodded and turned to Logan, 'Do you have any genetic defects in your family?"
He shook his head, "Not to my knowledge."
The doctor smiled kindly at Max, "I understand your concern. However, there is no guarantee that your child will inherit those problems. Especially since your husband has no family history of problems." She took out a note pad. "I'm writing you a different prescription. This should help keep your seizures in check. We normally give it to pregnant epileptics. It is less likely to have any unwanted side effects on your baby."
Max took the piece of paper from her and stared at it. She placed her hand on her stomach protectively, unaware of how intently Logan was watching her. She was unaware as he scheduled another appointment for her. All she could think of was the baby inside her and the life it would be damned to lead because it had the misfortune of having her, Manticore Class of '09 alum Maxine Guerva Cale, for a mother.
"Max," Logan said gently, wrenching his wife from her thoughts. "It's time to go." They had just enough time to get across town to meet Zach and Tinga.
They walked to their car in an uneasy silence. Logan kept glancing over at Max, hoping to see some sign from her. They climbed into the Aztec and sat quietly. The silence was painful. Finally, Logan took a deep breath, "Are you all right?"
She nodded dimly, "Swell. It's all good."
Logan reached out and placed his hand along the base on her skull and jaw, caressing the skin behind her ear with this thumb. "Max," he said softly.
She blinked, "Logan, I'm fine, really." But she could not bring herself to look at him. His touch was so gentle she wanted to weep, and she knew he was trying to comfort her, but it wasn't working. She was afraid that if she admitted her fears aloud, they would happen.
"Honey, you don't have to hide from me. We're in this together..." Logan began.
Max laughed bitterly and turned her head away, causing him to drop his hand. "Logan, I know you think we are, but we're not. This kid is in my body and if she's gonna be screwed up, it's my fault." Before he had a chance to respond, she reached for the door handle. "I gotta bounce. I don't feel much like going to lunch. Tell Tinga and Zach I'm sorry." And with that, she left, jogging away from the car.
"Max!" Logan called. His heart was screaming at him to go after her. But he knew how adept she was at being evasive. He growled in frustration and punched the steering wheel, "Dammit!" Then he turned the key in the ignition and drove off, hoping that in his travels he would find a way to help his wife.
* * *
When he arrived at the restaurant, Zach and Tinga were already there. Zach noticed him first and begrudgingly flagged him down. For the most part, Logan and Zach had resolved their differences, mostly for Max's sake, but they would never be best friends. Especially not when they were both in love with the same woman.
Zach frowned, "Where's Max?"
Logan sighed, "Where to you think?"
"She's wiggin, huh?" Tinga asked.
Logan nodded, "She's worried that the baby's going to inherit all the X-5 defects." He placed his head in his hands, "I don't know what to do."
"Are you afraid too," Zach asked in a tone Logan could not discern as one filled with derision or half hearted sympathy.
"Of course I am!" Logan snapped. "This is my wife and child we're talking about. Max is scared to death and there is nothing I can do to help her. We don't know what this pregnancy will do to her seizures, or what the seizures will do to the baby." Tears filled his eyes, "I don't want to lose either of them."
"Then why did you get her pregnant?" Zach asked coldly.
Logan glared at him, "We didn't plan this." He sighed and looked at Tinga. "I guess it never occurred to us. Even after Jace we didn't really think about it." Logan swallowed hard, thinking of all the times he had dreamt of having a normal life with Max-the house, white picket fence, two kids, a god, all of it. He looked at his de-facto brother and sister-in-law. 'We need to find out if any other Manticore engineered soldier, especially an X-5, other than Jace, has been pregnant."
"I was," Tinga said sadly.
Logan watched in astonishment as Zach reached out and took Tinga's hand. "You were?" Logan asked, virtually speechless. Tinga nodded. "What happened?"
She breathed deeply, "When we made the raid on Manticore, I was nearly four months along. I slept with a guy I had been casually dating, but he didn't want it. I dumped his ass and decided to keep it. Around my sixth month, my seizures got really bad. I went into labor at seven and a half months. Zach was with me. The doctors tried to save my baby, but he was too little. His lungs were only as developed as a fetus at six and a half months gestation. He had several small seizures and his heart gave out." Tears shone in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Logan whispered, fear filling his heart.
Zach patted Tinga's hand and released it. "Logan, you need to get your people to release the Manticore records on this. As far as I know, Max, Jace, and Tinga are the only transgenic females ever to get pregnant."
Logan nodded.
Tinga wiped her eyes, "Don't lie to Max about what we said. But you have to let her know that there's no proof that what happened to my baby will happen to yours. Besides, Jace's baby was fine. He's never exhibited any signs of seizures, but I think she gives him small doses of Tryptophan just in case." Tinga smiled encouragingly. "You need to be strong for Max, Logan. She's going to need you to get through this."
Zach and Tinga stood. "We'll be in touch," Zach said as Tinga patted Logan's shoulder.
"Be strong," she whispered.
"Yeah," he muttered, closing his eyes to the fear and sadness that were weighing his heart.
* * *
He found Max's new anti-seizure prescription on the floor of the car and decided to get it filled. On the way home from the pharmacy, Logan stopped of at Bling's. When he arrived, Bling was with a patient. "Hey hey my man, what's shakin'?" His jovial smile faded when he saw Logan's expression. He indicated to Logan to go into the small private gym in the back. When Bling entered after dismissing his patient and locking the front door, he found Logan going twelve rounds, bare fisted, with a punching bag. As Bling watched, Logan attacked the bag, obviously ignoring the pain that was throbbing through his hands. Bling stayed in the doorway, watching as Logan pummeled out his frustration.
When he had spent his energy, Logan leaned against the bag with a heavy sigh, slowly clenching and unclenching his fists as he winced in pain. Bling calmly walked to a small refrigerator and removed two ice packs. Handing them to his upset friend, he asked, "Did your night not go as well as you'd planned?"
Logan chuckled bitterly, "No, it was great." He stopped and looked at his swollen hands. "Max is pregnant."
Bling broke out into a huge smile, but quickly hid it as he saw the look in Logan's eyes. "So why aren't you breaking out the cigars?" Bling asked cautiously.
Logan sat wearily on a bench. "Max is freaking out. She's afraid the baby is going to inherit the Manticore party gifts."
"The seizures," Bling supplied.
Logan nodded.
"So where's Max?"
Logan threw up his hands dejectedly, "I don't know. She was pretty upset at the hospital and ran off." He bowed his head, his entire posture betraying his emotions. "I don't know what to do. Bling, what if she runs away? What if she decides not to keep the baby?"
Bling tried to smile reassuringly, "My man, max loves you. You know that. She'd never believe you. My guess is, she also loves the baby. I don't honestly think she'll abort the pregnancy. You've got to give her time to get used to this."
"What about me?" Logan exploded, rising to his feet. "Doesn't she think I'm scared? I don't know anything about kids, or about being a father. And it's not like I can run to my parents for advice." He looked down sadly. "Bling, I'm afraid I'm going to lose them both. Max's body might not be physically able for this. Manticore didn't exactly engineer their females to handle something like this."
Bling placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Logan, you two can handle this. Max is strong. She'll be fine and so will your baby."
Logan bit his lip and looked away, "I hope you're right."
Bling smiled, "Of course I am. Now go home and wait for your wife."
* * *
Max did not come home until nine p.m. For ten hours, she had wandered the city. She had gone to Jam Pony and made a few runs even though she had called in sick. After a trip to the Needle for some more head clearing, she had met Cindy and Kendra at Crash and they had discussed her "problem." Kendra still had no knowledge of Manticore, so they had talked about Max's concerns in terms of her "neurological condition."
"Boo," Cindy said gently. "You're dipping into Logan's gene pool with this kid. Your...condition might not be passed on. I mean, Logan does have some fine genes, if you know what I'm saying. And I'm a lesbian!"
"We don't know it won't be inherited," Max said, nursing her soda. Zach and Tinga had hunted her down at the Needle and she had found out about Tinga's baby. So, in the infant mortality a la Manticore department, they were 50/50. It looked like she was the deciding vote for X-5 motherhood. For seemingly the millionth time that day, Max fought back tears.
Kendra squeezed her hand, "Max, even if your baby *does* inherit it, so what? You and Logan will deal with it. I doubt you'll love the baby any less."
"But how could I knowingly do that to someone?" Max looked at Cindy, "How could I put my child through everything I went through?"
Cindy's eyes were full of sympathy, "Max, this baby won't go through what you went through, and on some level you know it. Lil Boo'll have you and Moneybags for parents."
Max smiled a half smile and sipped her soda. She knew Original Cindy and Kendra were right. She also knew that she had probably hurt Logan by running off on him and wigging out. She knew he must have been going through hell. Finishing her soda, she smiled at her friends sincerely, "Well, my girls, I gotta bounce. Gotta get home to make sure hubby's not freaking."
Cindy stood to hug her, "You gonna be okay?"
Max returned the hug, "Yeah, we're gonna be all good."
From her seat, Kendra reached out and patted Max's stomach, "Bye, Lil Boo."
Max chuckled.
As she approached the penthouse front door, keep in hand, Max took a deep breath. She patted her stomach and sighed, "Well, little one, let's go apologize to daddy." Her heart thundering, Max entered the apartment, discovering that most of the lights were off. Only the lights in the kitchen and computer room were on. When she didn't find her husband in the kitchen, Max quietly padded towards the computer room. Dismayed, she discovered Logan was not in there either.
She found him sitting on the couch in the dark, staring out the window. Gently, she sat behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder and kissing his neck. "Logan," she whispered. "Look at me." She crawled around him and took his face in her hands. His eyes were red and puffy, much like hers. They were both shaking. Max pressed her forehead to her husband's and kissed the tip of his nose. "I'm sorry." Looking deep into his eyes, she said, "I'm scared."
"I know," he whispered.
She ran her fingers over his stubble, "Are you?"
*Don't lie to Max* Logan remembered Tinga's words. Gazing into her emotive eyes, depths that he knew from experience one could get lost in, Logan lost all composure. His walls crumbled and he wept.
Seeing her husband, usually do strong and quiet, coming undone and in tears, broke Max's heart. *Oh God, I did this to him. We should have been going through it together, not alone* she thought. She took Logan into her arms and lay back onto the couch cushions. He clung to her, burying his face in her hair as she caressed his back soothingly. She wept too. They were weeping for joy. They were weeping in sadness.
When the crying had spent their energy, Max and Logan lay entwined on the couch. He kissed her deeply and murmured in a shaky voice, "Whatever you decide, I'll support." As much as it pained him to say that, he knew he had no other choice. He understood and shared Max's fear. What right did they have to bring a child into the world if it was going to be sick all its life?
Max's heart swelled with love and she kissed him back. "I love you. And we're keeping this baby." She smiled as she saw a spark fill Logan's eyes. She knew it was what he had been hoping for. Nevertheless, her smiled faded, "I spoke to Zach and Tinga. I know what happened to her baby. I am scared to death because our baby is blessed to have you for a father, but cursed to have all my Manticore goodies and me for a mother. I wouldn't wish what I have on anyone, especially not my own child."
"Max," he said softly, touching her lips with his fingertips to silence her. He placed his palm over her stomach, feeling the new bulge and the warmth of her body. "This baby couldn't have asked for a better mother. I look at you and I see the strongest, bravest, most beautiful woman I've ever known." Rising off the couch, he led her to the long mirror and positioned her in front of him. Taking her face in her hand from behind, he repeated, "This is the singularly most beautiful face I've ever seen. I said it when we met and I meant every word of it." His hands traveled down and rested over her stomach. Her soft hands came to rest on top of his.
"Logan" she said, looking at him in the mirror. 'What if something is wrong with the baby?"
"Then we'll handle it," he promised, kissing her hair.
His words were reassuring and for the first time in twenty-four hours, max was able to feel the joy of being pregnant.
"You must be hungry," he murmured, moving in the direction of the kitchen.
Her body felt cold when they broke contact and she reached out for him, "I can wait a little while. I just want you to hold me, hold us, for now."
Logan smiled, "There's nothing better I'd rather do, love." He lead her back to the couch and they settled on his, Logan lying on his back, Max resting against his chest, tracing idle patterns on his shirt. She closed her eyes and listen to the sounds of the room. Resting her head against Logan's chest, she could hear perfectly his heart beat. Max was amazed when she found her own heart beating in perfect synchronicity with her husband's. What truly shocked her was that, as she made her superhuman hearing even more acute, she could detect a third, faint heartbeat, also beating in rhythm with theirs.
With a gasp, she sat up.
"What?" Logan asked, concern etched on his face.
Beaming, Max leaned back against the couch and put Logan's ear to her belly. "Listen," she whispered. The Manticore blood that Max had put into Logan's veins had increased some of his abilities. An immeasurable smile spread across his handsome features as he picked up the baby's heartbeat. He felt Max thread her fingers through his hair and he wrapped his arms around her waist. His hearing was not as acute as Max's, and he could no longer detect the heartbeat, but he knew it was there. Logan once again took Max in his arms and held her, protecting his new family. The feeling that welled inside him was overwhelming.
Both parents were frightened for their child, knowing what kind of world they would be bringing him or her into. They also knew what they had gone through to be able to bring her into the world at all. It was changing for the better, day by day, with the help of people like the Cales. Max and Logan, although they both feared the possibility that their baby would inherit the seizures, knew that the ghosts of Manticore were nearly done haunting them. If their baby could be born without incident, then they knew they would be free finally, able to start their new life with their new daughter.
The only other worry in Logan's mind was what the pregnancy would do to his wife. "You know," he said some time later. "You're going to have to take it easy for the next five months, you know that right?"
Max sighed, "I know, I know. I was thinking about that. I'm gonna have to quit Jam Pony and stop riding both my bikes for a while."
"No Eyes Only crusades or general do-gooder ass kicking either, beloved," he said, teasingly.
"I know that too," she replied, slapping him good-naturedly. "But where will that leave you, oh might Oz?"
"I'll figure something out," Logan answered, chuckling. He looked down at his wife, "So, dinner?"
"There's still some chicken left over from last night," she told him.
"How about a stir fry or fajitas?"
Max grinned gleefully, "Fajitas. With chocolate sauce."
Logan blinked, amazed. "Huh?"
His wife laughed, "Just kidding, dear. I don't have any bizarre cravings yet. But just you wait." She poked his chest to punctuate her words.
"I can hardly wait," he said sincerely.
Max looked down at her stomach, "Me too."