a/N: Wow! People actually like this fic. Groovy. So as not to disappoint, I'm continuing.
Thanks to Kit Cloudkicker (I see that you've found me. Hello!), MineMe, Paige, Silverfox, and Kirst.
***
Eventually Harry's entire life story came out, along with a few interesting episodes related by the twins, which Harry hotly declared were pure fiction. "Yes, unfortunately, that's true," George admitted.
"You see, my dear," Fred began, slinging an arm around Cassandra's shoulders. "Harry has never had a girlfriend."
"But that's entirely due to lack of trying, isn't it, ladies?" George said, turning to the Gryffindor girls for verification. A chorus of giggles was his only reply. Harry was once again visited by the thought that giggling should be made illegal.
"But never fear-"
"Help is on the way," George finished.
"Yes. Look!" Fred held out a handful of badges.
"S-P-E-W," read Ron.
"No, Ron, it's 'spew'," George corrected.
"Stands for 'Support and encourage Potter's Endeavors with Women'," Fred explained. Harry flushed maroon.
"There's an extra 'e' in there," Ron said.
"No, there isn't," replied George.
"Yes, there is," insisted Ron. "Support and encour-"
"Oh, honestly, Ron! Don't you know anything? If it isn't capitalized, it doesn't count," Fred said good-naturedly. Cassandra giggled.
"Care to join?" George asked, offering her a badge. Harry fervently wished for the ground to swallow him up.
It seemed that Cassandra enjoyed deliberately causing Harry discomfort because she immediately agreed. She wasted no time in pinning it on. "Ouch!" she cried, putting her finger to her mouth. "It stuck me!"
"Good for it," muttered Ron. Cassandra glared at him.
"Ron?" Fred said, offering Ron a badge. Ron sent an impish grin at Harry.
"Of course!" he answered. Soon everyone had a Spew badge, except Hermione.
"C'mon, Hermione. You don't want Harry to be single forever, do you?" George asked.
"Certainly not," she replied sternly. "But this is silly!" Harry would've said, "mortifying", but he supposed "silly" worked as well.
"Oh, look!" Dennis Creevy exclaimed. He had discovered that like the "Support Cedric Diggory" badges, the "Spew" badges also had another message: "Say 'yes' to our Golden Boy".
"Just let me die now," Harry prayed. "Things can't get any worse."
"As members of Spew, your job is to hunt for perspective girlfriends for Harry and harass him until he does something about it," Fred announced.
This wasn't happening. This just wasn't happening. One moment, he was perfectly content, having succeeded in showing up Malfoy and winning the Quidditch game, the next he was horribly embarrassed wishing he could just vanish and never show his face again. He covered his face with his hands. "Cheer up," someone whispered. "In two weeks they'll forget all about it." Harry looked up to see Neville smiling reassuringly.
"You really think so?"
"Definitely." Harry felt a little better.
"What about Amalia?" someone suggested.
"Please, I wouldn't set her upon anybody," Davis muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Ginny!" someone cried. Ginny blushed furiously.
"No," Will Bradford replied instantly. "Not Ginny."
"Hermione," Lavender said simply. Hermione stuck her nose up in the air.
"Guess that's a no," said George.
"What about Harry's biggest fan?"
"I thought we already ruled out Ginny."
"Not Ginny! Colin!" A wave of laughter spread through the room.
"Girlfriends. Guys need not apply." Seamus said.
"Darn," Colin replied sarcastically. He had improved drastically in three years. He hadn't bothered Harry for a picture all year, though he did take a couple of Ginny for a friend. Still, for old times sake..."But can I have a picture Harry? Huh? Huh?" he begged with obviously fake enthusiasm. Harry smiled, admiring Colin's ability to laugh at himself.
"Sure," Harry said. Colin snapped the picture quickly and was about to move on when Harry stopped him.
"Colin?"
"Yeah, Harry?"
"Could I ask you for a favor?"
"Colin Creevy, at your service."
"I was wondering if you could take a picture." Colin chortled.
"Are you kidding? That's all I do!"
"No, no. I want you to take a picture for me, but could you not menton it-"
"Ah," Colin said, eyes sparkling. "Who's the lucky lady?" Harry felt like such a sap.
"Cassandra," Harry mumbled.
"Isn't she lovely? She photographs quite nicely."
"And how would you know?"
"Oh, I've got a couple of shots."
"Don't tell me you-"
"Her aunt asked me to take a some. She noticed that I was always 'lurking about, waiting to ambush someone with my camera.' Nice girl. A bit touched," Colin remarked, tapping his head slightly. "But nice all the same."
"Thank you."
"Anything for my hero." Harry shot a reproachful look at Colin. "Just kidding."
For the next few days Harry was either grinning as he remembered his Quidditch victory or blushing every time he saw a Spew badge. Unfourtunately, Fred and George's joke had taken off and most of the school was sporting them. "I hate these things," Harry muttered, chucking a badge into the common room fire.
"What? These?" Ron asked, grinning. He pressed the badge and the alternate slogan appeared.
"You're worse than the whole lot of them," Harry complained. He turned to Hermione. "At least you haven't decided to take part in this foolishness." But Hermione wasn't listening. She seemed to be concentrating very hard as she stared at some distant object.
"Earth to Herm. Come in, Herm. Do you copy?" He waved a hand in front of her face. She blinked several times.
"What?" she asked.
"We thought we'd lost you."
"What were you staring at?"
"Neville," she replied absently.
"Neville?" Harry and Ron echoed.
"Yes."
"Why are you staring at Neville?" inquired Ron.
"Look at him." They did, both boys looking extremely puzzled.
"Again, why?" Ron asked.
"Don't you notice anything different about him?" Hermione said with a touch of impatience.
"He's taller?" Harry suggested. Ron tilted his head. Hermione sighed.
"Let's try this again. When we first met Neville what words would you have used to describe him?"
"Round."
"Hufflepuff," Ron replied. Harry and Hermione turned to look at him. "What? Don't tell me you've never looked at Neville and thought that he would make a good Hufflepuff." Hermione shook her head.
"What words would you use to describe him now?"
"Less round?" Ron volunteered.
"More confident," said Harry.
"More competent," added Ron. They were beginning to see what Hermione was getting at. All three of them turned to look at Neville, who was blissfully unaware that he was the object of such scrutiny.
"I see now. Yes, he's definitely more outgoing."
"It's like he's figured out what a spine is for. What? Will you stop looking at me like a just said something horrible!" Ron demanded. Neville looked up and waved at them with a look that said, "There have got to be other things you can stare at." Abashed, the trio smiled sheepishly and waved, turning their attention back to homework.
"See?" hissed Hermione.
"So Neville's maturing? Big deal. Why does that require your attention?" Ron asked.
"It was just an observation," she said, nibbling her quill.
Harry felt a tap on the shoulder. It was Colin. "Alright, Harry? Can I have a word with you?"
"What about?" he asked.
"Well I was wondering if you cared to be guest speaker at the Harry Potter Fan Club banquet this evening," Colin replied. Ron looked at Colin as if he were positively insane. Colin cast Harry a meaningful look.
"It's a joke," Hermione said. "He's being sarcastic."
"Sure, Colin," Harry said, rising to his feet.
"I'll have him back in a jif," Colin assured Ron.
"I knew Hermione had a sense of humor behind all that studying nonsense." Colin said, leading Harry up the steps to the boys' dormitory and stopping in front of a door Harry had never entered. Colin opened the door with a flourish.
"Step inside my office please." Harry did so, wondering when Colin had acquired his own sense of humor. He really was okay, once he stopped following Harry constantly. Harry told him so. Colin blushed.
"I was such a weenie in first year. Everything was so new. Gah, if I had it to do all over again..."
"You'd have taken fewer pictures?"
"Nah, I would've packed more film. I ran out." Harry chuckled to himself. Colin pulled a little black case out of his trunk. He opened it and spread its contents across the lid. "Here you are. Take your pick." Harry bent to look.
"Your photography has improved, I see."
"It's easy when your subjects aren't running away." Harry grinned.
"Right." There were several different snapshots of Cassandra: one were she was reading, one were she was laughing, one were she was making a face at the camera, and even one were she was up in a tree, waving at the camera.
"When did you take these?" Harry asked.
"Whenever. I just go up to her and say 'Cassie, can I have a picture?' and most of the time, she let's me. She thinks I'm an artist. Can't imagine where she picked up that idea. Take what you like." Harry selected the one with the tree. Colin smiled. "I'm rather partial to that one."
"Are you sure you don't like her yourself?"
"I adore her, but her and me? Laughable. Besides, I'm kinda pining after someone right now."
"Who?" Harry inquired. Colin pulled another case out of his trunk and passed it to Harry. Inside was a single picture. Harry's eyes widened. It was Parvati in her dress robes. She was smiling in a way she hadn't while she was with Harry.
"Now, you want to talk hopeless causes, here's one. Think Hermione'd be willing to take me on in addition to house elves' rights?" Harry smiled.
"Thank you, Colin. I owe you. "
"I take checks."
"I'll remember that." He left the fourth year dorm in a slightly better mood.
All through breakfast the next morning, Harry couldn't help but grin every time he looked at Parvati. "Don't tell me you like her," Cassandra said.
"Absolutely not."
"Then why are you staring at her?"
"I'm not staring."
"That's right. He's not staring. He's ogling," Hermione snapped.
"I'm not ogling."
"He's drooling," Cassandra said. She and Hermione shared a look across the table and both girls giggled.
"Ron!" Harry said, looking to his best friend for help. Ron shrugged.
"Could you be any more useless?"
"I could try."
"Fine," Harry said exasperated. "Promise not to say anything?" Cassandra, Ron, and Hermione nodded. "Colin fancies her." Cassandra squealed. "Keep it down!"
"Sorry. That's so adorable!!" she giggled. She looked thoughtful. "That explains the-" she stopped abruptly.
"Explains the what?" Ron asked.
"Never mind." Cassandra rose from the table.
"Where are you going?" Harry called.
"To tell Parvati," she replied as if it were obvious.
"But you promised!"
"Trust me," she said scurrying down to where Parvati was sitting.
"Famous last words," Ron muttered. "Poor Colin."
"Remind me again as to why you like her?" Hermione asked.
"Because he likes the idea of dating ditzy death eaters," Ron said.
"Hey!" Ron grinned.
"Sorry. Ditzy potential death eaters. I stand corrected."
"She's not ditzy," Hermione said. "Just a little-"
"Stupid? Blond?"
"I resent that," Seamus called.
"I was shooting for 'lacking in common sense'," Hermione replied.
"Honestly, Ron, can't you just drop this? You two fighting is getting very old. What are you fighting for anyway?" Neville asked.
"Whose side are you on, Neville?" Ron asked.
"Hers," Neville replied instantly.
"After all we've been through? Why?"
"She's prettier than you," Neville replied, grinning. Ron clutched at his heart.
"I have been mortally wounded." He fell forward onto the table.
"And they say I'm dramatic," murmured Seamus.
***
Comments? Suggestions? you know the drill. Review!
love,
J. Silver
Thanks to Kit Cloudkicker (I see that you've found me. Hello!), MineMe, Paige, Silverfox, and Kirst.
***
Eventually Harry's entire life story came out, along with a few interesting episodes related by the twins, which Harry hotly declared were pure fiction. "Yes, unfortunately, that's true," George admitted.
"You see, my dear," Fred began, slinging an arm around Cassandra's shoulders. "Harry has never had a girlfriend."
"But that's entirely due to lack of trying, isn't it, ladies?" George said, turning to the Gryffindor girls for verification. A chorus of giggles was his only reply. Harry was once again visited by the thought that giggling should be made illegal.
"But never fear-"
"Help is on the way," George finished.
"Yes. Look!" Fred held out a handful of badges.
"S-P-E-W," read Ron.
"No, Ron, it's 'spew'," George corrected.
"Stands for 'Support and encourage Potter's Endeavors with Women'," Fred explained. Harry flushed maroon.
"There's an extra 'e' in there," Ron said.
"No, there isn't," replied George.
"Yes, there is," insisted Ron. "Support and encour-"
"Oh, honestly, Ron! Don't you know anything? If it isn't capitalized, it doesn't count," Fred said good-naturedly. Cassandra giggled.
"Care to join?" George asked, offering her a badge. Harry fervently wished for the ground to swallow him up.
It seemed that Cassandra enjoyed deliberately causing Harry discomfort because she immediately agreed. She wasted no time in pinning it on. "Ouch!" she cried, putting her finger to her mouth. "It stuck me!"
"Good for it," muttered Ron. Cassandra glared at him.
"Ron?" Fred said, offering Ron a badge. Ron sent an impish grin at Harry.
"Of course!" he answered. Soon everyone had a Spew badge, except Hermione.
"C'mon, Hermione. You don't want Harry to be single forever, do you?" George asked.
"Certainly not," she replied sternly. "But this is silly!" Harry would've said, "mortifying", but he supposed "silly" worked as well.
"Oh, look!" Dennis Creevy exclaimed. He had discovered that like the "Support Cedric Diggory" badges, the "Spew" badges also had another message: "Say 'yes' to our Golden Boy".
"Just let me die now," Harry prayed. "Things can't get any worse."
"As members of Spew, your job is to hunt for perspective girlfriends for Harry and harass him until he does something about it," Fred announced.
This wasn't happening. This just wasn't happening. One moment, he was perfectly content, having succeeded in showing up Malfoy and winning the Quidditch game, the next he was horribly embarrassed wishing he could just vanish and never show his face again. He covered his face with his hands. "Cheer up," someone whispered. "In two weeks they'll forget all about it." Harry looked up to see Neville smiling reassuringly.
"You really think so?"
"Definitely." Harry felt a little better.
"What about Amalia?" someone suggested.
"Please, I wouldn't set her upon anybody," Davis muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Ginny!" someone cried. Ginny blushed furiously.
"No," Will Bradford replied instantly. "Not Ginny."
"Hermione," Lavender said simply. Hermione stuck her nose up in the air.
"Guess that's a no," said George.
"What about Harry's biggest fan?"
"I thought we already ruled out Ginny."
"Not Ginny! Colin!" A wave of laughter spread through the room.
"Girlfriends. Guys need not apply." Seamus said.
"Darn," Colin replied sarcastically. He had improved drastically in three years. He hadn't bothered Harry for a picture all year, though he did take a couple of Ginny for a friend. Still, for old times sake..."But can I have a picture Harry? Huh? Huh?" he begged with obviously fake enthusiasm. Harry smiled, admiring Colin's ability to laugh at himself.
"Sure," Harry said. Colin snapped the picture quickly and was about to move on when Harry stopped him.
"Colin?"
"Yeah, Harry?"
"Could I ask you for a favor?"
"Colin Creevy, at your service."
"I was wondering if you could take a picture." Colin chortled.
"Are you kidding? That's all I do!"
"No, no. I want you to take a picture for me, but could you not menton it-"
"Ah," Colin said, eyes sparkling. "Who's the lucky lady?" Harry felt like such a sap.
"Cassandra," Harry mumbled.
"Isn't she lovely? She photographs quite nicely."
"And how would you know?"
"Oh, I've got a couple of shots."
"Don't tell me you-"
"Her aunt asked me to take a some. She noticed that I was always 'lurking about, waiting to ambush someone with my camera.' Nice girl. A bit touched," Colin remarked, tapping his head slightly. "But nice all the same."
"Thank you."
"Anything for my hero." Harry shot a reproachful look at Colin. "Just kidding."
For the next few days Harry was either grinning as he remembered his Quidditch victory or blushing every time he saw a Spew badge. Unfourtunately, Fred and George's joke had taken off and most of the school was sporting them. "I hate these things," Harry muttered, chucking a badge into the common room fire.
"What? These?" Ron asked, grinning. He pressed the badge and the alternate slogan appeared.
"You're worse than the whole lot of them," Harry complained. He turned to Hermione. "At least you haven't decided to take part in this foolishness." But Hermione wasn't listening. She seemed to be concentrating very hard as she stared at some distant object.
"Earth to Herm. Come in, Herm. Do you copy?" He waved a hand in front of her face. She blinked several times.
"What?" she asked.
"We thought we'd lost you."
"What were you staring at?"
"Neville," she replied absently.
"Neville?" Harry and Ron echoed.
"Yes."
"Why are you staring at Neville?" inquired Ron.
"Look at him." They did, both boys looking extremely puzzled.
"Again, why?" Ron asked.
"Don't you notice anything different about him?" Hermione said with a touch of impatience.
"He's taller?" Harry suggested. Ron tilted his head. Hermione sighed.
"Let's try this again. When we first met Neville what words would you have used to describe him?"
"Round."
"Hufflepuff," Ron replied. Harry and Hermione turned to look at him. "What? Don't tell me you've never looked at Neville and thought that he would make a good Hufflepuff." Hermione shook her head.
"What words would you use to describe him now?"
"Less round?" Ron volunteered.
"More confident," said Harry.
"More competent," added Ron. They were beginning to see what Hermione was getting at. All three of them turned to look at Neville, who was blissfully unaware that he was the object of such scrutiny.
"I see now. Yes, he's definitely more outgoing."
"It's like he's figured out what a spine is for. What? Will you stop looking at me like a just said something horrible!" Ron demanded. Neville looked up and waved at them with a look that said, "There have got to be other things you can stare at." Abashed, the trio smiled sheepishly and waved, turning their attention back to homework.
"See?" hissed Hermione.
"So Neville's maturing? Big deal. Why does that require your attention?" Ron asked.
"It was just an observation," she said, nibbling her quill.
Harry felt a tap on the shoulder. It was Colin. "Alright, Harry? Can I have a word with you?"
"What about?" he asked.
"Well I was wondering if you cared to be guest speaker at the Harry Potter Fan Club banquet this evening," Colin replied. Ron looked at Colin as if he were positively insane. Colin cast Harry a meaningful look.
"It's a joke," Hermione said. "He's being sarcastic."
"Sure, Colin," Harry said, rising to his feet.
"I'll have him back in a jif," Colin assured Ron.
"I knew Hermione had a sense of humor behind all that studying nonsense." Colin said, leading Harry up the steps to the boys' dormitory and stopping in front of a door Harry had never entered. Colin opened the door with a flourish.
"Step inside my office please." Harry did so, wondering when Colin had acquired his own sense of humor. He really was okay, once he stopped following Harry constantly. Harry told him so. Colin blushed.
"I was such a weenie in first year. Everything was so new. Gah, if I had it to do all over again..."
"You'd have taken fewer pictures?"
"Nah, I would've packed more film. I ran out." Harry chuckled to himself. Colin pulled a little black case out of his trunk. He opened it and spread its contents across the lid. "Here you are. Take your pick." Harry bent to look.
"Your photography has improved, I see."
"It's easy when your subjects aren't running away." Harry grinned.
"Right." There were several different snapshots of Cassandra: one were she was reading, one were she was laughing, one were she was making a face at the camera, and even one were she was up in a tree, waving at the camera.
"When did you take these?" Harry asked.
"Whenever. I just go up to her and say 'Cassie, can I have a picture?' and most of the time, she let's me. She thinks I'm an artist. Can't imagine where she picked up that idea. Take what you like." Harry selected the one with the tree. Colin smiled. "I'm rather partial to that one."
"Are you sure you don't like her yourself?"
"I adore her, but her and me? Laughable. Besides, I'm kinda pining after someone right now."
"Who?" Harry inquired. Colin pulled another case out of his trunk and passed it to Harry. Inside was a single picture. Harry's eyes widened. It was Parvati in her dress robes. She was smiling in a way she hadn't while she was with Harry.
"Now, you want to talk hopeless causes, here's one. Think Hermione'd be willing to take me on in addition to house elves' rights?" Harry smiled.
"Thank you, Colin. I owe you. "
"I take checks."
"I'll remember that." He left the fourth year dorm in a slightly better mood.
All through breakfast the next morning, Harry couldn't help but grin every time he looked at Parvati. "Don't tell me you like her," Cassandra said.
"Absolutely not."
"Then why are you staring at her?"
"I'm not staring."
"That's right. He's not staring. He's ogling," Hermione snapped.
"I'm not ogling."
"He's drooling," Cassandra said. She and Hermione shared a look across the table and both girls giggled.
"Ron!" Harry said, looking to his best friend for help. Ron shrugged.
"Could you be any more useless?"
"I could try."
"Fine," Harry said exasperated. "Promise not to say anything?" Cassandra, Ron, and Hermione nodded. "Colin fancies her." Cassandra squealed. "Keep it down!"
"Sorry. That's so adorable!!" she giggled. She looked thoughtful. "That explains the-" she stopped abruptly.
"Explains the what?" Ron asked.
"Never mind." Cassandra rose from the table.
"Where are you going?" Harry called.
"To tell Parvati," she replied as if it were obvious.
"But you promised!"
"Trust me," she said scurrying down to where Parvati was sitting.
"Famous last words," Ron muttered. "Poor Colin."
"Remind me again as to why you like her?" Hermione asked.
"Because he likes the idea of dating ditzy death eaters," Ron said.
"Hey!" Ron grinned.
"Sorry. Ditzy potential death eaters. I stand corrected."
"She's not ditzy," Hermione said. "Just a little-"
"Stupid? Blond?"
"I resent that," Seamus called.
"I was shooting for 'lacking in common sense'," Hermione replied.
"Honestly, Ron, can't you just drop this? You two fighting is getting very old. What are you fighting for anyway?" Neville asked.
"Whose side are you on, Neville?" Ron asked.
"Hers," Neville replied instantly.
"After all we've been through? Why?"
"She's prettier than you," Neville replied, grinning. Ron clutched at his heart.
"I have been mortally wounded." He fell forward onto the table.
"And they say I'm dramatic," murmured Seamus.
***
Comments? Suggestions? you know the drill. Review!
love,
J. Silver