Author's Notes, Disclaimers, etc: See previous chapter
_________________________________________________________________
Logan sat in the hallway, giving Zack and Max time to talk before the delivery. He figured he'd give them about fifteen minutes before he went back in. The way she was progressing, Logan anticipated Max to begin delivering within the hour. Within the hour. Wow. Logan was overwhelmed by the notion that possibly in less than an hour, he would be a father. Not just a father-to-be, like he had been for the last nine months, but a real father. He would be responsible for another human being's life. It would be his job to nurture, feed, clothe, teach, and protect that child. The thought was astounding. Logan let out a long-winded sigh.
Max's siblings were in various parts of the waiting room. The guys had taken up another game of poker, allowing Bling and Original Cindy to join in. Jace was at a pay phone, undoubtedly calling home to check on Victor and little Max. Syl was dozing in a chair beside Brin, who was reading a magazine. Jondy and Tinga were discussing something in hushed voices. Logan wondered if they were discussing the promise they had made to Max.
The thought of his own promise weighed on Logan's heart and soul and he pushed it aside. He had to keep his promise. End of inner monologue. He was about to be a father. If destiny, which had been both so kind and so cruel to him in the past, wanted him to be a single father, then he was going to be the best single father any child had ever known. But in Logan's heart of hearts, he knew that their child was going to have both parents for a long time to come.
Just then, a cry came from Max's room. Logan leapt to his feet and raced down the hall, nearly colliding with nurses and doctors who were doing the same thing. "What happened?" he asked Zack, who was standing in the corner, looking shocked and worried.
Max let out another yell and tears spilled down her face. "Logan," she cried, reaching her hand toward him. He took it and got as close to her as he could.
"What's going on?" he asked, trying not to sound worried.
The doctor looked up from her position at Max's feet and said, "Nothing, Dad. It seems as though your wife's epidural has worn off just in time for her to begin delivery. She's 100% dilated and effaced."
"She progressed so quickly," a nurse commented, slipping into a paper gown that went over her scrubs before handing Logan a gown of his own.
"It must be the genetics," Zack muttered to no one in particular before he was ushered out of a room by another nurse who said, "Sorry, parents and medical personal only!"
"Ready to begin pushing?" the doctor asked Max as two nurses settled Max's feet into the stirrups.
"Do I really have a choice?" Max grunted, once again trying to breathe through the pain of her contractions, which seemed to be coming one after the other.
Just then, a nurse said, "Doctor, the bed is malfunctioning and won't raise up."
"Damn," the doctor said, pulling on some rubber gloves.
"What?" Logan asked, holding Max's hand.
"We usually like the bed to be raised, in stead of flat, like they used to do years ago. If the mother is sitting up, gravity helps things along and the birth is a little less effortful," the doctor explained. Then she paused, "Tell you what, Dad. We don't usually do this unless the family has requested it, but would you mind getting in behind your wife? Let her lean against your chest and support her back and shoulders."
Logan looked at Max, as though to ask if she wanted him behind her.
"Do it quick," Max said through gritted teeth. "I wanna push NOW!"
Logan suppressed a chuckle, fearing for his life, and slid in behind Max as quickly and as gently as he could. He helped her sit up and rest against his chest. He held on to both her hands and didn't care how tightly she squeezed.
"All right Mom," the doctor said from behind her surgical mask. "On the next contraction, I want you to put your chin to your chest, take a deep breath and hold it while you push, ok? Dad, I want you to count to ten."
"Here it comes," a nurse warned.
"Push!" the doctor cried.
Max took a deep breath and began to push. The pain coursed through her body and the exertion of such an action was instantaneously felt. She squeezed her eyes shut and yelled, "Yeeeaaaaaaarrgh!"
Meanwhile, Logan counted to ten, "Seven, eight, nine, ten."
"Good!" the doctor cried.
Max sighed heavily and leaned against Logan's chest. She felt him kiss the top of her head and whisper that he loved her. It was enough strength to help her through the next contraction.
"Push!" the doctor instructed again. Once again, Logan counted to ten while Max held her breath and screamed in pain. For half an hour, she alternated periods of pushing and brief periods of rest. Her brow was drenched in sweat and her entire body ached and complained with exhaustion.
"Again," the doctor said.
"I'm so tired," Max cried, as tears and sweat streamed down her face. She felt a nurse dab her forehead with a damp cloth. "Logan, I can't do this anymore." Max wept in pain and fatigue as another contraction ripped through her body.
"Yes you can Max," Logan encouraged, kissing her sweat-drenched brow. He supported her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "The baby's almost here, sweetheart. Just a little more. Then you can rest."
"I can't, I can't," Max insisted, somewhat hysterically as the contractions came in waves.
"You can," Logan said firmly. "You're so strong Max. You're so brave. You've survived worse than this before." He leaned close to her ear. "Beloved, we've fought so hard and gone through so much to get here. Don't stop fighting now."
Max sighed, knowing he was right, despite the pain that screamed throughout her entire being.
The doctor smiled encouragingly and nodded, "Almost there. And...push!"
"One, two," Logan began counting, still supporting Max's back and shoulders.
Max pushed with all her strength until she heard the doctor cry, "It's crowning. Come on, keep pushing."
Max's entire body felt as though it was on fire. She could feel the pressure of the baby and knew it was almost over. She kept pushing and screamed, "SONUVABITCH!"
"Okay, stop pushing!" the doctor instructed as a nurse scrambled to clean the baby's mouth and nose.
Max's eyes flew open as a new kind of pain coursed through her. The baby was half in and half out and it burned like hell. She knew that they needed to suction the mucus form the baby before she could push the rest of it out, but it didn't make it hurt any less. "Oh god, Logan," she moaned as fresh tears fell. "It's burning!" Her voice came in gasps as she struggled for a deep breath. She had never been in a battle that had left her this winded. Labor was a completely different kind of fight.
"Almost there, honey," Logan said, taking her in his arms and holding her tightly, rocking her briefly before the doctor told Max she could push again.
"Last one, I promise," the doctor said. "One last big one and you can rest and see your baby."
Logan felt Max take a deep breath and he began to count, "One, two."
Despite all of her pain, Max could hear flashes of memory, things in her past that for some reason or another were coming back to her. The sound of Logan's counting faded from her hearing as time seemed to come to a standstill. His voice was replaced by the voices of memory.
~~*~~
"You're a thief?"
"Girl's got to make a living."
"Thank God."
"First time I ever heard that one."
"I was expecting someone else."
"Guess it wasn't the pizza delivery guy. "
~~*~~
Logan could feel his wife's entire body strain as she struggled to bring their child into the world. He continued counting, "Three, four."
~~*~~
"How did you find me?"
"Wasn't hard. Look... if I made you nervous or uncomfortable or creeped you out..."
"Yes...on all counts."
" Well, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention. I had to see you. I haven't been able to get you off my mind. "
"You need to get out more."
~~*~~
"Five, six," Logan counted slowly and deliberately as Max pushed with all her might. He squeezed her hands reassuringly.
~~*~~
"What can I do?"
"Stay with me, please?"
"I'm right here."
"You won't leave?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
~~*~~
"Seven, eight," Logan continued, watching as a nurse stepped up with a receiving blanket. *Almost there,* he thought to himself, wondering what Max was thinking.
~~*~~
"It's you I'm worried about."
"I'll miss you."
"If you die on me, I'll kick your ass. "
"Dance with me."
"I can't."
"Sure, you can. Mind over matter."
"See, my problem is I can't walk."
"I'm not asking you to walk. Just dance. "
"Whose dream is this, anyway... Yours or mine?"
"Don't ask me."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just a little dizzy."
"Do you want to stop?"
"No. Don't let go."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Logan... Don't leave me."
~~*~~
"Nine," Logan found he was holding his own breath, in anticipation of being a father.
~~*~~
"I got a surprise for you. Cover your eyes."
"It's like some kind of miracle."
"You're the miracle. You did this. You gave me back my life."
~~*~~
Ten," Logan said finitely, waiting for their baby's cry to pierce the air.
~~*~~
"It's worth noting, while you're right--my mission is saving the world--it doesn't mean that I don't worry about you"
"Worry accomplishes nothing. But it's nice to know that you think of me as more than your own private cat burglar."
"Way more."
"Can I take that to mean that my name shows up now and then in those little poems of yours?"
" Without stepping right into an admission that I do, in fact, write poetry... maybe. "
"Maybe, huh? So when do I get to scroll through your lyrical pen scratchings?"
"Uh, you don't. And boy, do I wish you'd stop bringing it up."
"Why do you always get so embarrassed about this?"
"Because my dad was one of those manly men who thought introspection meant you were weak."
"You really want to see one of my poems?"
" You wrote this about me?"
"Yeah, it's about you."
~~*~~
As she finished pushing, it was as if someone had thrown a switch on the real world, and all of the sound came rushing up all at once. Max cried out in exhaustion and heard the beautiful sound of her baby crying.
"It's a girl!" the doctor announced happily, holding the wailing child up for her parents to see.
Logan's eyes instantly welled with tears and he kissed Max's head. She was resting tiredly against his chest, her eyes closed. "Do you hear that Max? We have a daughter. We were right. It's a girl."
Max's eyes opened slowly and they too were filled with tears, "I want to see her."
"Want to cut the cord, Dad?" the doctor asked.
Logan slipped out from behind Max and cautiously cut the cord, an amazed expression on his face. A nurse wrapped their daughter in a blanket and placed her in his arms. Logan smiled as he peered down at his baby girl, who was still crying, although admittedly at a lower decibel than before. "Hi there, sweetheart," he crooned. "Let's go meet your mommy." He placed her on Max's chest and watched as his wife began to weep.
"She's so beautiful!" Max wept, smiling at Logan, before returning her gaze to her daughter. She couldn't take her eyes off her.
A nurse came over and began pulling down the front of Max's gown. "You should begin nursing her right away," the nurse said. "It'll help bond you two and will speed along the afterbirth."
Tentatively, with the nurse's help, Max held her daughter to her bare breast and watched as their daughter, with eyes closed, immediately took to Max's nipple and began sucking hungrily. "Look, Logan," she whispered in amazement.
"Looks like Jacqueline Eva Gabrielle follows her stomach, just like her momma," Logan said happily.
Max smiled at him, inhaling the scent of their daughter that was uniquely and endearing her own beautiful baby scent. She felt exhausted and slightly lightheaded, but she thought it was form the exertion of the labor. However, the more Max dwelled on how she felt, she discovered she was also feeling detached and rubbery. She looked at Logan and her head felt as though it weighed a million pounds. Her vision began to blur. "Logan," she murmured.
Logan looked on in shock as Max's eyes fluttered and her head lulled back on the pillow. Without thinking, he took the baby from Max's arms, fearful that Jacqueline would fall. "Doctor!" he cried.
Almost instantaneously, the heart monitor that had been connected to Max began to scream loudly as her heartbeat changed erratically.
"She's in V-tach!" a nurse cried, as another snatched the baby from Logan's arms.
"Dammit, she's hemorrhaging!" the doctor said. She began yelling instructions to the medical personal in the room.
Logan looked on in horror as his wife was laid down on the bed and all unnecessary equipment was moved out of the way. They placed electrodes on her chest while others performed CPR, placed an ambu bag over her nose and mouth.
"She's not breathing!" a nurse called out.
"Let's intubate," the doctor said from her position at Max's legs as she tried to stop the bleeding. She called for various clotting drugs, as well as bags of blood for transfusion and an amp of epinephrine, in case Max's heart stopped.
Logan found a clearing between the doctors and nurses. He leaned down close to Max's ear, as tears of fear replaced his previous tears of joy. "Fight it Max," he whispered fiercely, his voice choking. "Fight Max. Don't leave. Stay here with us. Stay with me."
"Stay with us!" the doctor called as she took over CPR after another doctor took over trying to stop the bleeding.
"Fight Max!" Logan whispered, aware of a crash cart being rolled into the room.
Just then, the most awful sound Logan could have heard pierced the air.
"She's flat lining!" a nurse cried.
::Ducks:: I know! You must all hate me for leaving you there, and giving you such a torturous ending after that long of a chapter but hey, that's why you all love me. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to write. Please read and review!
_________________________________________________________________
Logan sat in the hallway, giving Zack and Max time to talk before the delivery. He figured he'd give them about fifteen minutes before he went back in. The way she was progressing, Logan anticipated Max to begin delivering within the hour. Within the hour. Wow. Logan was overwhelmed by the notion that possibly in less than an hour, he would be a father. Not just a father-to-be, like he had been for the last nine months, but a real father. He would be responsible for another human being's life. It would be his job to nurture, feed, clothe, teach, and protect that child. The thought was astounding. Logan let out a long-winded sigh.
Max's siblings were in various parts of the waiting room. The guys had taken up another game of poker, allowing Bling and Original Cindy to join in. Jace was at a pay phone, undoubtedly calling home to check on Victor and little Max. Syl was dozing in a chair beside Brin, who was reading a magazine. Jondy and Tinga were discussing something in hushed voices. Logan wondered if they were discussing the promise they had made to Max.
The thought of his own promise weighed on Logan's heart and soul and he pushed it aside. He had to keep his promise. End of inner monologue. He was about to be a father. If destiny, which had been both so kind and so cruel to him in the past, wanted him to be a single father, then he was going to be the best single father any child had ever known. But in Logan's heart of hearts, he knew that their child was going to have both parents for a long time to come.
Just then, a cry came from Max's room. Logan leapt to his feet and raced down the hall, nearly colliding with nurses and doctors who were doing the same thing. "What happened?" he asked Zack, who was standing in the corner, looking shocked and worried.
Max let out another yell and tears spilled down her face. "Logan," she cried, reaching her hand toward him. He took it and got as close to her as he could.
"What's going on?" he asked, trying not to sound worried.
The doctor looked up from her position at Max's feet and said, "Nothing, Dad. It seems as though your wife's epidural has worn off just in time for her to begin delivery. She's 100% dilated and effaced."
"She progressed so quickly," a nurse commented, slipping into a paper gown that went over her scrubs before handing Logan a gown of his own.
"It must be the genetics," Zack muttered to no one in particular before he was ushered out of a room by another nurse who said, "Sorry, parents and medical personal only!"
"Ready to begin pushing?" the doctor asked Max as two nurses settled Max's feet into the stirrups.
"Do I really have a choice?" Max grunted, once again trying to breathe through the pain of her contractions, which seemed to be coming one after the other.
Just then, a nurse said, "Doctor, the bed is malfunctioning and won't raise up."
"Damn," the doctor said, pulling on some rubber gloves.
"What?" Logan asked, holding Max's hand.
"We usually like the bed to be raised, in stead of flat, like they used to do years ago. If the mother is sitting up, gravity helps things along and the birth is a little less effortful," the doctor explained. Then she paused, "Tell you what, Dad. We don't usually do this unless the family has requested it, but would you mind getting in behind your wife? Let her lean against your chest and support her back and shoulders."
Logan looked at Max, as though to ask if she wanted him behind her.
"Do it quick," Max said through gritted teeth. "I wanna push NOW!"
Logan suppressed a chuckle, fearing for his life, and slid in behind Max as quickly and as gently as he could. He helped her sit up and rest against his chest. He held on to both her hands and didn't care how tightly she squeezed.
"All right Mom," the doctor said from behind her surgical mask. "On the next contraction, I want you to put your chin to your chest, take a deep breath and hold it while you push, ok? Dad, I want you to count to ten."
"Here it comes," a nurse warned.
"Push!" the doctor cried.
Max took a deep breath and began to push. The pain coursed through her body and the exertion of such an action was instantaneously felt. She squeezed her eyes shut and yelled, "Yeeeaaaaaaarrgh!"
Meanwhile, Logan counted to ten, "Seven, eight, nine, ten."
"Good!" the doctor cried.
Max sighed heavily and leaned against Logan's chest. She felt him kiss the top of her head and whisper that he loved her. It was enough strength to help her through the next contraction.
"Push!" the doctor instructed again. Once again, Logan counted to ten while Max held her breath and screamed in pain. For half an hour, she alternated periods of pushing and brief periods of rest. Her brow was drenched in sweat and her entire body ached and complained with exhaustion.
"Again," the doctor said.
"I'm so tired," Max cried, as tears and sweat streamed down her face. She felt a nurse dab her forehead with a damp cloth. "Logan, I can't do this anymore." Max wept in pain and fatigue as another contraction ripped through her body.
"Yes you can Max," Logan encouraged, kissing her sweat-drenched brow. He supported her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "The baby's almost here, sweetheart. Just a little more. Then you can rest."
"I can't, I can't," Max insisted, somewhat hysterically as the contractions came in waves.
"You can," Logan said firmly. "You're so strong Max. You're so brave. You've survived worse than this before." He leaned close to her ear. "Beloved, we've fought so hard and gone through so much to get here. Don't stop fighting now."
Max sighed, knowing he was right, despite the pain that screamed throughout her entire being.
The doctor smiled encouragingly and nodded, "Almost there. And...push!"
"One, two," Logan began counting, still supporting Max's back and shoulders.
Max pushed with all her strength until she heard the doctor cry, "It's crowning. Come on, keep pushing."
Max's entire body felt as though it was on fire. She could feel the pressure of the baby and knew it was almost over. She kept pushing and screamed, "SONUVABITCH!"
"Okay, stop pushing!" the doctor instructed as a nurse scrambled to clean the baby's mouth and nose.
Max's eyes flew open as a new kind of pain coursed through her. The baby was half in and half out and it burned like hell. She knew that they needed to suction the mucus form the baby before she could push the rest of it out, but it didn't make it hurt any less. "Oh god, Logan," she moaned as fresh tears fell. "It's burning!" Her voice came in gasps as she struggled for a deep breath. She had never been in a battle that had left her this winded. Labor was a completely different kind of fight.
"Almost there, honey," Logan said, taking her in his arms and holding her tightly, rocking her briefly before the doctor told Max she could push again.
"Last one, I promise," the doctor said. "One last big one and you can rest and see your baby."
Logan felt Max take a deep breath and he began to count, "One, two."
Despite all of her pain, Max could hear flashes of memory, things in her past that for some reason or another were coming back to her. The sound of Logan's counting faded from her hearing as time seemed to come to a standstill. His voice was replaced by the voices of memory.
~~*~~
"You're a thief?"
"Girl's got to make a living."
"Thank God."
"First time I ever heard that one."
"I was expecting someone else."
"Guess it wasn't the pizza delivery guy. "
~~*~~
Logan could feel his wife's entire body strain as she struggled to bring their child into the world. He continued counting, "Three, four."
~~*~~
"How did you find me?"
"Wasn't hard. Look... if I made you nervous or uncomfortable or creeped you out..."
"Yes...on all counts."
" Well, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention. I had to see you. I haven't been able to get you off my mind. "
"You need to get out more."
~~*~~
"Five, six," Logan counted slowly and deliberately as Max pushed with all her might. He squeezed her hands reassuringly.
~~*~~
"What can I do?"
"Stay with me, please?"
"I'm right here."
"You won't leave?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
~~*~~
"Seven, eight," Logan continued, watching as a nurse stepped up with a receiving blanket. *Almost there,* he thought to himself, wondering what Max was thinking.
~~*~~
"It's you I'm worried about."
"I'll miss you."
"If you die on me, I'll kick your ass. "
"Dance with me."
"I can't."
"Sure, you can. Mind over matter."
"See, my problem is I can't walk."
"I'm not asking you to walk. Just dance. "
"Whose dream is this, anyway... Yours or mine?"
"Don't ask me."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just a little dizzy."
"Do you want to stop?"
"No. Don't let go."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Logan... Don't leave me."
~~*~~
"Nine," Logan found he was holding his own breath, in anticipation of being a father.
~~*~~
"I got a surprise for you. Cover your eyes."
"It's like some kind of miracle."
"You're the miracle. You did this. You gave me back my life."
~~*~~
Ten," Logan said finitely, waiting for their baby's cry to pierce the air.
~~*~~
"It's worth noting, while you're right--my mission is saving the world--it doesn't mean that I don't worry about you"
"Worry accomplishes nothing. But it's nice to know that you think of me as more than your own private cat burglar."
"Way more."
"Can I take that to mean that my name shows up now and then in those little poems of yours?"
" Without stepping right into an admission that I do, in fact, write poetry... maybe. "
"Maybe, huh? So when do I get to scroll through your lyrical pen scratchings?"
"Uh, you don't. And boy, do I wish you'd stop bringing it up."
"Why do you always get so embarrassed about this?"
"Because my dad was one of those manly men who thought introspection meant you were weak."
"You really want to see one of my poems?"
" You wrote this about me?"
"Yeah, it's about you."
~~*~~
As she finished pushing, it was as if someone had thrown a switch on the real world, and all of the sound came rushing up all at once. Max cried out in exhaustion and heard the beautiful sound of her baby crying.
"It's a girl!" the doctor announced happily, holding the wailing child up for her parents to see.
Logan's eyes instantly welled with tears and he kissed Max's head. She was resting tiredly against his chest, her eyes closed. "Do you hear that Max? We have a daughter. We were right. It's a girl."
Max's eyes opened slowly and they too were filled with tears, "I want to see her."
"Want to cut the cord, Dad?" the doctor asked.
Logan slipped out from behind Max and cautiously cut the cord, an amazed expression on his face. A nurse wrapped their daughter in a blanket and placed her in his arms. Logan smiled as he peered down at his baby girl, who was still crying, although admittedly at a lower decibel than before. "Hi there, sweetheart," he crooned. "Let's go meet your mommy." He placed her on Max's chest and watched as his wife began to weep.
"She's so beautiful!" Max wept, smiling at Logan, before returning her gaze to her daughter. She couldn't take her eyes off her.
A nurse came over and began pulling down the front of Max's gown. "You should begin nursing her right away," the nurse said. "It'll help bond you two and will speed along the afterbirth."
Tentatively, with the nurse's help, Max held her daughter to her bare breast and watched as their daughter, with eyes closed, immediately took to Max's nipple and began sucking hungrily. "Look, Logan," she whispered in amazement.
"Looks like Jacqueline Eva Gabrielle follows her stomach, just like her momma," Logan said happily.
Max smiled at him, inhaling the scent of their daughter that was uniquely and endearing her own beautiful baby scent. She felt exhausted and slightly lightheaded, but she thought it was form the exertion of the labor. However, the more Max dwelled on how she felt, she discovered she was also feeling detached and rubbery. She looked at Logan and her head felt as though it weighed a million pounds. Her vision began to blur. "Logan," she murmured.
Logan looked on in shock as Max's eyes fluttered and her head lulled back on the pillow. Without thinking, he took the baby from Max's arms, fearful that Jacqueline would fall. "Doctor!" he cried.
Almost instantaneously, the heart monitor that had been connected to Max began to scream loudly as her heartbeat changed erratically.
"She's in V-tach!" a nurse cried, as another snatched the baby from Logan's arms.
"Dammit, she's hemorrhaging!" the doctor said. She began yelling instructions to the medical personal in the room.
Logan looked on in horror as his wife was laid down on the bed and all unnecessary equipment was moved out of the way. They placed electrodes on her chest while others performed CPR, placed an ambu bag over her nose and mouth.
"She's not breathing!" a nurse called out.
"Let's intubate," the doctor said from her position at Max's legs as she tried to stop the bleeding. She called for various clotting drugs, as well as bags of blood for transfusion and an amp of epinephrine, in case Max's heart stopped.
Logan found a clearing between the doctors and nurses. He leaned down close to Max's ear, as tears of fear replaced his previous tears of joy. "Fight it Max," he whispered fiercely, his voice choking. "Fight Max. Don't leave. Stay here with us. Stay with me."
"Stay with us!" the doctor called as she took over CPR after another doctor took over trying to stop the bleeding.
"Fight Max!" Logan whispered, aware of a crash cart being rolled into the room.
Just then, the most awful sound Logan could have heard pierced the air.
"She's flat lining!" a nurse cried.
::Ducks:: I know! You must all hate me for leaving you there, and giving you such a torturous ending after that long of a chapter but hey, that's why you all love me. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to write. Please read and review!