DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.
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~ Silent Little Mermaid 4 ~
Smile. Smile. Frown. Frown. Smile.
Jess recounted his own expression from time to time, grimacing at how much facial movement he went through just during one session with Shu. The confirmation of whatever question asked was a smile, while a disagreement would be represented by a frown. Shu seemed to appreciate the rare lively looks from the lithe chamberlain, but Jess himself found no joy in curling his lips and furrowing his brows. His face felt soft after all the maneuvers he had put it through; the muscles must have stretched and gotten more fit.
// I must look like an idiot with all this... //
With a small bow, Jess left Shu's office for the library. Now that he had truly nothing to do in presence of others but be quiet and listen, he escaped often to the solace of the deserted shelves of books. Emilia never minded him visiting; she merely gave him a smile and a nod, forcing him to return the same as a courtesy. The pretty eyes behind those glasses told him that she found him pleasant enough. He didn't return that message, but he was thankful that she did not mind his frequent visits.
The tea-eyed chamberlain headed straight for the section to the back of the library. His favorite genre of books, namely non-fictions not involving overload of sentimentality or dramatism, lined many shelves there. Skimming through the leather-bound titles, he picked up a few and went to the table by the window to read. He pulled out a reading glass, not a strong prescription but the one recently begotten for the brutal amount of documents he had go through in the line of work, and placed the delicate silver frame over the bridge of his straight nose.
"I didn't know you wore those."
The sudden and unexpected interruption surprised Jess, and the shift of mood showed on his white face. Through the thin lenses, he saw the speaker. Flik was standing right next to his desk, looking every bit out of place in the serene library with a sword slung to his belt. The mercenary took the seat across from Jess and smiled in greeting.
"Hey. I saw you coming here, so..."
Jess parted his lips and shaped a "hello". Pushing the glasses up a little in adjustment, he shifted his gaze back to the opened page. Flik took one of the books he had taken off the shelf and motioned with a tilt of the handsome head if he could read it. Jess nodded and continued to read.
// So he reads. Quite unexpected for someone who must not have had any formal education. //
Stealing a peek at the man in blue, Jess mused much to himself. Had he the voice, he would have said all those bitter thoughts just to repel this companion. He had no intention of being vicious to Flik, but he knew that his mouth would have naturally moved to say the harsh comments. For once, and probably the only time, he was glad that the silence was forced upon him.
Flik and reading did not go hand in hand as a concept, but visually, the thick volume looked wonderful in his long-fingered hands. His light-brown-haired head, bowed a little downward in a posture of a reader, cast shadows over his chiseled features. The warrior's back, always straight and the posture balanced, leaned back to the wooden chair in a relaxed fashion. Jess couldn't see the vivid blue eyes, but he guessed correctly that they were skimming letters in smooth cascading glances.
"Never thought I'd read, did you?" Flik asked without looking up. He didn't expect a verbal answer from the younger man, so he curled his lips and continued. "Odessa didn't want me to be an unrefined soldier with no taste for things other than beer. She insisted that I read love sonnets and all."
// Odessa? //
Jess frowned, hinting at his ignorance and the question that arose. He needed Flik to see the expression, so he stomped on one boot-clad foot beneath the table.
"Yow! ...Oh, right. Sorry, Jess." With an apologetic shrug, Flik studied the chamberlain's countenance. He understood and explained. "Odessa was the original leader of the Liberation Army. She was also the woman I loved. This sword," he tapped at the simply-wrought handle of his beloved weapon. "Is named after her."
The meaning of the past tense in use struck Jess immediately. He had lost someone, not his lover but someone he had respected with his life, too. Consolation was never his forte, but he sadly averted his long-lashed eyes and delivered his regards. Nothing touched him more than deaths; to general deaths tolled by wars, he turned a deaf ear and blind eyes, but specific deaths of loved ones wrung empathy out of him. Though he never showed such kindness as to give deep grievance for those left behind, he always felt stabs of pain for them.
"Thanks."
Flik placed the book neatly back on the stack Jess had made and left the chair. He came around the table to pat the other's kitten-fur head, sliding it down along the slender nape to take off the thin-rimmed glasses. When Jess looked up quizzically at the motion of the hand, the Blue Thunder only leaned down and brushed his lips against the vulnerable forehead.
**********
Flik felt good and bad about himself at the same time; the mild throbbing of his reddened right cheek made him smirk, but the image of a very confused, embarrassed, and angry Jess reversed the smug look into a self-directed scowl. He decided that he should regret having pecked at the chamberlain's forehead. He didn't even know why he had done it; Jess had looked so delectable at that moment that it took all of Flik's control not to savor those pink lips instead.
// And he did not dub with Odessa. //
Of course, Odessa would have slapped Flik instead of giving him a hard and hearty fist. In that sense, Jess was every bit more masculine as he should be. The same lovely fist had attempted for a second attack, which he had dodged to make a rascal-like retreat from the library. Now, he walked toward his room in a rare amused mood.
"Well, he was pissed off but not disgusted."
Inwardly patting himself in the back, Flik remembered the texture of Jess' skin against his lips. The sensation was so similar to that from the past that he almost slipped into the dishonorable confusion of Odessa and Jess again. He truly doubted that if he closed his eyes and kissed Jess on a cheek, he would find any difference from how it would have felt with Odessa. The notion tempted like an offer from a devil, but Flik shrugged it away. He was at last learning to appreciate Jess as an individual; he wouldn't want to throw away that progress for a short-lived illusion of Odessa.
// As tempting as that idea is... //
Flik pondered over his rather unusual interest in the lithe chamberlain. Gender didn't matter to him, but all else did. Jess was not the most pleasant person to be around most of the time, and the two of them barely knew each other. Sure, for the last couple of days since the younger man's injury, Flik had tried to speak to him as much as possible. Other than pleasant exchange of few words and gestures, no progress had been made to make them closer acquaintances.
// So I actually want to know him better. To do what? //
Stopping at the door of his own room, Flik unconsciously blushed. He knew well what he wanted to do with the prissy chamberlain. The thoughts popping up in his minds reminded him of back when he had been a teenager. With Odessa, such purely desire-driven ideas never broke free of his disciplinary control. In a sense, she had been a sanctuary in his mind. They'd made love many times, yet he never had the mind to imagine her becoming less than her dignified, beautiful self. Definitely not the little kitten-like bundle Jess appeared in to be in his wishful thinking.
// Little kitten-like bundle... //
The appropriate description of Jess inside his head produced laughter in Flik, his chuckling and slight bending over against the wooden door drawing attention from others in the corridor.
**********
Above all other annoyances in the world, Jess hated being teased. He rubbed a little at the knuckles of his right hand where it was still sore from having struck the teasing bastard. Well, perhaps Flik was not too bad for a bastard, but he had deserved the punch for that peck on the forehead. Faint blush still colored the chamberlain's cheeks; he couldn't recall ever having been kissed there since his mother's demise many years ago. The scene when Flik bent down to brush those lips over his skin must have looked ridiculous to any audience, of which, hopefully, there had been none.
// What did I do to deserve that, anyway? //
Jess sulked and laid his chin down on the tabletop. His tea-colored eyes scanned the tiny tower of stacked books. Although he had pulled five books from shelved for this afternoon, he hadn't finished a single one. Flik interrupted his thoughts until what he saw on the faded pages mutated into the cerulean blue of those eyes and simply handsome face. Slamming a hand against the old table only created noise in the silent library and did nothing to drive away the sudden quickening beat of his heart.
"Sir Jess?" came Emilia's worried voice from the front desk.
Deciding that there was no point in letting time pass without good use, Jess stood and placed the hardcovers back into their respective shelves. He could do work ahead of time, anyway. The still-new life without a single utterance of sound from his end left him often bored. No one bothered with him, merely giving him sympathetic looks as they passed him by. It was a good thing that he never needed companions to begin with.
"Sir Jess, are you all right?" Emilia asked again as the lithe chamberlain passed by the front desk. Receiving a half-way sheepish nod, she smiled and went back to her own volume of historical fiction.
// I need a drink. Yes, I definitely need a drink. //
Jess made the plan to let Flik and alcohol battle inside his head tonight. With luck, he would collapse into the bed and not dream about the soft kiss.
NEXT
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~ Silent Little Mermaid 4 ~
Smile. Smile. Frown. Frown. Smile.
Jess recounted his own expression from time to time, grimacing at how much facial movement he went through just during one session with Shu. The confirmation of whatever question asked was a smile, while a disagreement would be represented by a frown. Shu seemed to appreciate the rare lively looks from the lithe chamberlain, but Jess himself found no joy in curling his lips and furrowing his brows. His face felt soft after all the maneuvers he had put it through; the muscles must have stretched and gotten more fit.
// I must look like an idiot with all this... //
With a small bow, Jess left Shu's office for the library. Now that he had truly nothing to do in presence of others but be quiet and listen, he escaped often to the solace of the deserted shelves of books. Emilia never minded him visiting; she merely gave him a smile and a nod, forcing him to return the same as a courtesy. The pretty eyes behind those glasses told him that she found him pleasant enough. He didn't return that message, but he was thankful that she did not mind his frequent visits.
The tea-eyed chamberlain headed straight for the section to the back of the library. His favorite genre of books, namely non-fictions not involving overload of sentimentality or dramatism, lined many shelves there. Skimming through the leather-bound titles, he picked up a few and went to the table by the window to read. He pulled out a reading glass, not a strong prescription but the one recently begotten for the brutal amount of documents he had go through in the line of work, and placed the delicate silver frame over the bridge of his straight nose.
"I didn't know you wore those."
The sudden and unexpected interruption surprised Jess, and the shift of mood showed on his white face. Through the thin lenses, he saw the speaker. Flik was standing right next to his desk, looking every bit out of place in the serene library with a sword slung to his belt. The mercenary took the seat across from Jess and smiled in greeting.
"Hey. I saw you coming here, so..."
Jess parted his lips and shaped a "hello". Pushing the glasses up a little in adjustment, he shifted his gaze back to the opened page. Flik took one of the books he had taken off the shelf and motioned with a tilt of the handsome head if he could read it. Jess nodded and continued to read.
// So he reads. Quite unexpected for someone who must not have had any formal education. //
Stealing a peek at the man in blue, Jess mused much to himself. Had he the voice, he would have said all those bitter thoughts just to repel this companion. He had no intention of being vicious to Flik, but he knew that his mouth would have naturally moved to say the harsh comments. For once, and probably the only time, he was glad that the silence was forced upon him.
Flik and reading did not go hand in hand as a concept, but visually, the thick volume looked wonderful in his long-fingered hands. His light-brown-haired head, bowed a little downward in a posture of a reader, cast shadows over his chiseled features. The warrior's back, always straight and the posture balanced, leaned back to the wooden chair in a relaxed fashion. Jess couldn't see the vivid blue eyes, but he guessed correctly that they were skimming letters in smooth cascading glances.
"Never thought I'd read, did you?" Flik asked without looking up. He didn't expect a verbal answer from the younger man, so he curled his lips and continued. "Odessa didn't want me to be an unrefined soldier with no taste for things other than beer. She insisted that I read love sonnets and all."
// Odessa? //
Jess frowned, hinting at his ignorance and the question that arose. He needed Flik to see the expression, so he stomped on one boot-clad foot beneath the table.
"Yow! ...Oh, right. Sorry, Jess." With an apologetic shrug, Flik studied the chamberlain's countenance. He understood and explained. "Odessa was the original leader of the Liberation Army. She was also the woman I loved. This sword," he tapped at the simply-wrought handle of his beloved weapon. "Is named after her."
The meaning of the past tense in use struck Jess immediately. He had lost someone, not his lover but someone he had respected with his life, too. Consolation was never his forte, but he sadly averted his long-lashed eyes and delivered his regards. Nothing touched him more than deaths; to general deaths tolled by wars, he turned a deaf ear and blind eyes, but specific deaths of loved ones wrung empathy out of him. Though he never showed such kindness as to give deep grievance for those left behind, he always felt stabs of pain for them.
"Thanks."
Flik placed the book neatly back on the stack Jess had made and left the chair. He came around the table to pat the other's kitten-fur head, sliding it down along the slender nape to take off the thin-rimmed glasses. When Jess looked up quizzically at the motion of the hand, the Blue Thunder only leaned down and brushed his lips against the vulnerable forehead.
**********
Flik felt good and bad about himself at the same time; the mild throbbing of his reddened right cheek made him smirk, but the image of a very confused, embarrassed, and angry Jess reversed the smug look into a self-directed scowl. He decided that he should regret having pecked at the chamberlain's forehead. He didn't even know why he had done it; Jess had looked so delectable at that moment that it took all of Flik's control not to savor those pink lips instead.
// And he did not dub with Odessa. //
Of course, Odessa would have slapped Flik instead of giving him a hard and hearty fist. In that sense, Jess was every bit more masculine as he should be. The same lovely fist had attempted for a second attack, which he had dodged to make a rascal-like retreat from the library. Now, he walked toward his room in a rare amused mood.
"Well, he was pissed off but not disgusted."
Inwardly patting himself in the back, Flik remembered the texture of Jess' skin against his lips. The sensation was so similar to that from the past that he almost slipped into the dishonorable confusion of Odessa and Jess again. He truly doubted that if he closed his eyes and kissed Jess on a cheek, he would find any difference from how it would have felt with Odessa. The notion tempted like an offer from a devil, but Flik shrugged it away. He was at last learning to appreciate Jess as an individual; he wouldn't want to throw away that progress for a short-lived illusion of Odessa.
// As tempting as that idea is... //
Flik pondered over his rather unusual interest in the lithe chamberlain. Gender didn't matter to him, but all else did. Jess was not the most pleasant person to be around most of the time, and the two of them barely knew each other. Sure, for the last couple of days since the younger man's injury, Flik had tried to speak to him as much as possible. Other than pleasant exchange of few words and gestures, no progress had been made to make them closer acquaintances.
// So I actually want to know him better. To do what? //
Stopping at the door of his own room, Flik unconsciously blushed. He knew well what he wanted to do with the prissy chamberlain. The thoughts popping up in his minds reminded him of back when he had been a teenager. With Odessa, such purely desire-driven ideas never broke free of his disciplinary control. In a sense, she had been a sanctuary in his mind. They'd made love many times, yet he never had the mind to imagine her becoming less than her dignified, beautiful self. Definitely not the little kitten-like bundle Jess appeared in to be in his wishful thinking.
// Little kitten-like bundle... //
The appropriate description of Jess inside his head produced laughter in Flik, his chuckling and slight bending over against the wooden door drawing attention from others in the corridor.
**********
Above all other annoyances in the world, Jess hated being teased. He rubbed a little at the knuckles of his right hand where it was still sore from having struck the teasing bastard. Well, perhaps Flik was not too bad for a bastard, but he had deserved the punch for that peck on the forehead. Faint blush still colored the chamberlain's cheeks; he couldn't recall ever having been kissed there since his mother's demise many years ago. The scene when Flik bent down to brush those lips over his skin must have looked ridiculous to any audience, of which, hopefully, there had been none.
// What did I do to deserve that, anyway? //
Jess sulked and laid his chin down on the tabletop. His tea-colored eyes scanned the tiny tower of stacked books. Although he had pulled five books from shelved for this afternoon, he hadn't finished a single one. Flik interrupted his thoughts until what he saw on the faded pages mutated into the cerulean blue of those eyes and simply handsome face. Slamming a hand against the old table only created noise in the silent library and did nothing to drive away the sudden quickening beat of his heart.
"Sir Jess?" came Emilia's worried voice from the front desk.
Deciding that there was no point in letting time pass without good use, Jess stood and placed the hardcovers back into their respective shelves. He could do work ahead of time, anyway. The still-new life without a single utterance of sound from his end left him often bored. No one bothered with him, merely giving him sympathetic looks as they passed him by. It was a good thing that he never needed companions to begin with.
"Sir Jess, are you all right?" Emilia asked again as the lithe chamberlain passed by the front desk. Receiving a half-way sheepish nod, she smiled and went back to her own volume of historical fiction.
// I need a drink. Yes, I definitely need a drink. //
Jess made the plan to let Flik and alcohol battle inside his head tonight. With luck, he would collapse into the bed and not dream about the soft kiss.
NEXT