Disclaimer-I'm bored and I don't own anything. i know, your looking for some smart ass remarks right? I don't have any right now cuz I'm depressed. My grandpa had a stroke and thinks don't look too good for him...This is dedicated to him, even thoght it has nothing to do with the current sutiation.
Leaving so Soon?
Chapter one
I stared at the ocean, letting my feet dangle off the edge of the dock. It seemed so peaceful…then can turn to a beast in a second…like me…
…Why?
Why did I do it?
Become her knight…no, her lapdog…
…And why me? Was I too vulnerable?
No, it wasn't my fault…she convinced me…
No…I chose to go with her…it is my fault…killed so many innocent people…
I'm a monster…
How can anyone look at me? What is my life for? …I should just drop dead right…would anyone notice? …No. They wouldn't even care. Oh, it's just the Almasy boy…he was the sorceresses lapdog…he killed my son…let him die…I don't blame them for despising me. Why should they care…why should they?
…why should I care?
"Seifer!" My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. Turning slightly, I looked at the only companions I had in the world. Rajin and Fujin. Why should they care about me? "We've been lookin for ya everywhere ya know." I gave the two a frown, and turned away.
"Why did you come here?"
"NO REASON." Fujin replied in her normal voice. They didn't know what I was going through…they never would…
"Do you even know what happened?! I killed thousands of innocent people. I was an evil sorceress's lapdog!" I shouted, letting my anger out, glaring angrily at them.. "Why should you even look at me?" I asked, calming down slightly. I turned away and sat down, slightly ashamed at taking my anger out on my only friends. I waited for footsteps of the two people who could actually stand to be near me leaving…they never came. Instead the two sat down next to me.
"WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS." Fujin said. I knew she was just trying to help me regain my confidence. Sorry Fu…not gonna happen right now.
"I gotta get away from a little bit…blow off some steam." I stood up and started walking away.
"Hey Seif." I stopped, not bothering to turn. "We're here for ya ya know."
"I know…"I whisper, knowing he couldn't here me.
"See ya later right?" I nodded.
"Yeah…later…" I said continuing. But would there be a later? Maybe not for me…
***
I decided to skip the trip to the hotel and go straight to a "relaxing" drive. Relaxing my ass…
I smiled to myself…it had been awhile since the last time I smiled. While passing another sign that said "60 mph" I considered what was left for me in my future…but I realized I didn't have a future. "Menaces to society" don't have a future.
Thinking of the conversation I had before with myself, it became clear to me. I had lived my life to the fullest. There was nothing left for me except more mistakes. I didn't want to live through anymore problems…I had already had to go to therapy to get through my whole sorceress ordeal. A lot of help that did. Just a big waste of time and money. The only thing that was beneficial was…
I snapped open the glove department and pulled out a bottle of pills. I had gotten them to help me get to sleep…forget that my dreams would haunt me all night…
'Just a couple of pills…' A nagging voice inside my head told me. I must be fucking nuts. I have voices in my head telling me what to do. 'Do it Seifer…you have nothing to lose…if you go on, you have nothing to gain…' For a minute, that little voice made so much sense.
Without giving it another thought, I threw about five pills into my mouth and swallowed them dry.
'Yes…now it will be over soon…your suffering will soon end…'
A strong dizziness came over me as I struggled to keep my vision straight. That's when I noticed a small picture of Fujin and Rajin hanging of the mirror. "I'm sorry guys, I had to do this…" I whispered, as if they could here me. I looked back on the road and felt my leg going numb. The speed of the car picked up as I started moving faster. Another car was in front of me…two children in the back…no. I couldn't take any more lives. With what was left of my strength, I grabbed the steering wheel and turned left…going off the road. That's when the pills took affect and knocked me out…hopefully for good.
Leaving so Soon?
Chapter one
I stared at the ocean, letting my feet dangle off the edge of the dock. It seemed so peaceful…then can turn to a beast in a second…like me…
…Why?
Why did I do it?
Become her knight…no, her lapdog…
…And why me? Was I too vulnerable?
No, it wasn't my fault…she convinced me…
No…I chose to go with her…it is my fault…killed so many innocent people…
I'm a monster…
How can anyone look at me? What is my life for? …I should just drop dead right…would anyone notice? …No. They wouldn't even care. Oh, it's just the Almasy boy…he was the sorceresses lapdog…he killed my son…let him die…I don't blame them for despising me. Why should they care…why should they?
…why should I care?
"Seifer!" My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. Turning slightly, I looked at the only companions I had in the world. Rajin and Fujin. Why should they care about me? "We've been lookin for ya everywhere ya know." I gave the two a frown, and turned away.
"Why did you come here?"
"NO REASON." Fujin replied in her normal voice. They didn't know what I was going through…they never would…
"Do you even know what happened?! I killed thousands of innocent people. I was an evil sorceress's lapdog!" I shouted, letting my anger out, glaring angrily at them.. "Why should you even look at me?" I asked, calming down slightly. I turned away and sat down, slightly ashamed at taking my anger out on my only friends. I waited for footsteps of the two people who could actually stand to be near me leaving…they never came. Instead the two sat down next to me.
"WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS." Fujin said. I knew she was just trying to help me regain my confidence. Sorry Fu…not gonna happen right now.
"I gotta get away from a little bit…blow off some steam." I stood up and started walking away.
"Hey Seif." I stopped, not bothering to turn. "We're here for ya ya know."
"I know…"I whisper, knowing he couldn't here me.
"See ya later right?" I nodded.
"Yeah…later…" I said continuing. But would there be a later? Maybe not for me…
***
I decided to skip the trip to the hotel and go straight to a "relaxing" drive. Relaxing my ass…
I smiled to myself…it had been awhile since the last time I smiled. While passing another sign that said "60 mph" I considered what was left for me in my future…but I realized I didn't have a future. "Menaces to society" don't have a future.
Thinking of the conversation I had before with myself, it became clear to me. I had lived my life to the fullest. There was nothing left for me except more mistakes. I didn't want to live through anymore problems…I had already had to go to therapy to get through my whole sorceress ordeal. A lot of help that did. Just a big waste of time and money. The only thing that was beneficial was…
I snapped open the glove department and pulled out a bottle of pills. I had gotten them to help me get to sleep…forget that my dreams would haunt me all night…
'Just a couple of pills…' A nagging voice inside my head told me. I must be fucking nuts. I have voices in my head telling me what to do. 'Do it Seifer…you have nothing to lose…if you go on, you have nothing to gain…' For a minute, that little voice made so much sense.
Without giving it another thought, I threw about five pills into my mouth and swallowed them dry.
'Yes…now it will be over soon…your suffering will soon end…'
A strong dizziness came over me as I struggled to keep my vision straight. That's when I noticed a small picture of Fujin and Rajin hanging of the mirror. "I'm sorry guys, I had to do this…" I whispered, as if they could here me. I looked back on the road and felt my leg going numb. The speed of the car picked up as I started moving faster. Another car was in front of me…two children in the back…no. I couldn't take any more lives. With what was left of my strength, I grabbed the steering wheel and turned left…going off the road. That's when the pills took affect and knocked me out…hopefully for good.