Disclaimers: You people know I do not own DB or DBZ. Boy…I wish I did though *cries* Akira stole my idea! Hee hee!
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Hi! Um…before I went back to school, I wanted to do one more story. This is chapter one of three
chapters. And the second will be up some time late next week or early the following.(hope the
HTML works on this file...) And again I use food as a plot device! If you think this is a weird
story…it is…boy it really is. If you review thanks! If not…oh well
Another Note: As many times as I mention Muffins in this fic, in no way do I endorse eating muffins, especially blueberry. Though they are REALLY good ^_^' heh….
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It was another quiet day in Nicky Town.
People walked about, complaining about their lives, their spouses, how their kid blew up the candy store after they found out the sale on Milk Duds were over. You know…normal stuff.
And today in this particular town, another evil plot to take over the world was unfolding. But also, at particular couple that we have all come to know and love…well…SOME people…. are also in the town shopping for food.
And it is there that our story begins….
Goku slammed his drooling face against the bakery showcase. 'Oh man…those look so good!' he thought to himself as his dark eyes gazed lovingly upon the rows of cookies, cupcakes, and muffins. Sighing contently, Goku stole a quick glance to his right to see if Chi Chi was near by. Seeing no one, Goku stood up and made his way towards the entrance.
"Oh no you don't Goku! I will not have you ruin your dinner with you gulping down 15 boxes of cookies and what-have-you-not's! Come here NOW!"
Goku flinched as he turned to see his wife's enraged face staring up at him. Goku looked back to see 5 other people enter the bakery beside him. "Chi Chi! Those people are going to eat all the food!" Panicking, he began to franticly look back and forth between Chi Chi and the bakery. Eyes twitching, Goku cracked. "Chi Chi! Can I have some cookies and stuff? Please, please, PLEASE?" Goku whined. "If you let me, I won't beg for food again…at least until dinner…but C'mon…" Goku looked down at his wife and gave the biggest goofy smile he could muster. But Chi Chi knew how Goku got many things that he wanted by this method. Well she wouldn't put up with it this time.
Crossing her arms, Chi Chi frowned. "You know that if I buy you that, you will spoil your dinner. I will not let you get it. So stop whining." Chi Chi said as she got out the keys to the car. 'Darn. I knew I should have not walked pass the Bakery with Goku!' she thought as she walked away. "Hurry up. Gohan needs his dinner."
Sighing, Goku placed his arms across his chest and pouted. "Aw…Chi Chi. Can please have some? I mean…I won't eat any till after dinner. You know, for desert?" Goku ran up to Chi Chi and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "Please?"
Turning sharply back towards Goku, Chi Chi stared at her husband menacingly until a small smirk spread across her face. "Fine Goku. You may get some muffins…"
"Muffins? What about cookies and cake and…"
"I SAID MUFFINS! Now listen," Chi Chi cleared her throat. "You may get muffins. Nothing else. Why am I letting you do this you wonder?" Chi Chi crossed her arms.
Goku sighed exasperated. "I don't know! Just let me get some food, PLEASE!"
Chi Chi closed her eyes in anger and embarrassment as Goku began to whine louder and jump up and down like a 5 year-old-kid who needed to go to the bathroom. "Goku. Stop. People are starting to stare…"
"But I want…"
"DARN IT GOKU! LISTEN TOO ME!" Chi Chi launched forward, grabbed Goku's collar and brought him close to her face. "You will get the muffins for our dinner tonight. You will not eat them when you buy them, nor will you get any tonight if you carry on like an idiot! No go buy 50 blueberry muffins. And I will be waiting outside to make sure you don't eat any of them.
Handing Goku some money, she crossed her arms and glared at Goku. Goku took the money. Sighing because he could eat none, he walked into the store.
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"Food! FOOD! I need FOOD! Oh MAN! COOKIES!" Goku screamed as he rushed past the other patrons of the store and began to pile cookies into the shopping bag. Remembering what Chi Chi said, Goku shrugged it off and piled more goods into the bag. "This is so amazing! Never in my life have I seen…uhhhhh…" Goku jaw fell. His eyes opened wide and he began to drool. "Um…are those, what I think it is?" Goku asked the Baker hopefully.
Raising an eyebrow, the man nodded. "Those are muffins, sir. And they are on sale. Would you like a dozen? Or more?"
Goku cocked his head to one side. "Usually, I prefer Cookies to muffins…but these…they look really good!" Smiling, Goku walked up to the counter and peered in. After admiring them, Goku looked up and nodded excitedly. "Oh boy I would! Can you give me…um…100 no…50 I think…in the blueberry? I think that is what Chi Chi wanted. I guess." Goku leaned upon the counter and drooled some more while he watched the baker place 50 muffins in a box. Closing it, the baker handed the container to Goku. "Here you go sir. I hope you and your family enjoy them."
Saying nothing, Goku threw the money on the counter and walked out. After Goku left, the baker picked up the money and laughed again…for a devious… diabolical…really evil plan…was placed in action….
Goku stuffed another muffin into his mouth as he sat at the kitchen table concentrating on eating the entire box. Chi Chi was up stairs with Gohan making sure he was studying, thus causing her not to be in the kitchen. So, while she was distracted, Goku had made his way into the cupboard to get the muffin box, and eat them.
Finishing off the muffin, Goku went back into the box for more. But alas, there was only one more. "Aw man!" Goku picked up the last muffin and studied it. "This is the last one! After I eat this one, I won't have any more. Geeze!" Sighing and shaking his head, Goku hesitantly placed the muffin back into the box and stared at it.
A couple of minutes later, Chi Chi walked into the kitchen with a crate of dishes. "Goku! Look at all of these dishes I found in your draw! Some I found on your side of the closet! You know you should only eat down here in the kitchen; after all, I like to keep a clean home. Goku? Goku! Are you listening to me?" Chi Chi huffed as she dropped the dishes on the sink counter with a clang. She turned around to see Goku staring at the last muffin in the box. "Goku! You were not supposed to eat those until after dinner tomorrow!" Walking over, Chi Chi slammed her hand down upon the table. "Now what are we going to have for desert?"
Chi Chi stared down angrily at her husband expecting a reply. When Goku kept staring at the muffin, Chi Chi blew up. "GOKU! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?" Snatching the muffin box from in front of her husband, Chi Chi marched over towards the trashcan. "Perhaps if I get the food out of in front of you, you will have more sense to…"
"Chi Chi! NO!" Goku cried from the table. Jumping out of his seat, he ran towards Chi Chi and grabbed the box from her. Sighing in relief, Goku looked up annoyed at her. "Chi Chi. Don't throw away that muffin!" Goku looked down at the box as he walked away and sat back down at the table. "I mean…can't you see that it is special?"
Chi Chi made a face. "How in the world can a single blueberry muffin be so special? Perhaps that is why you didn't eat it then, hmmm?"
"Exactly." Goku smiled back at Chi Chi.
Watching Goku turn his attention back to the muffin, Chi Chi growled. "Fine Goku. Stare at those darn muffin… for the rest of your life as far as I care!" Stomping out of the kitchen towards the stairs, Chi Chi turned around again. "Good Night Goku! I hope you and your muffin will have a good night sleep!" Huffing, Chi Chi walked up stairs.
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Chi Chi yawned as she rose from her bed early the following morning. Rubbing her head, she remembered that she had to cook…again…for Goku and Gohan for they could get going with the Namek for their training. 'The things I do…ugh!' Rising up from the bed, Chi Chi turned to look at Goku.
He wasn't there.
"Go figure. He is going to get it!" growled Chi Chi as she placed her hands on her hips and walked down the hall. Stopping at Gohan's room first, she banged on the door. "Gohan! Get up now. I want you to help me with breakfast today." Tapping her feet impatiently, Chi Chi waited until Gohan walked out. Still in his blue pajamas and hair disarrayed, he looked up at her.
"Can I at least brush my teeth?" he rubbed his eyes.
"Hmm…NO! Don't talk to me! I am angry at your father and you don't want me angry at you do you? Well…DO YOU?" Chi Chi yelled as she grabbed Gohan's arm and yanked him down stairs. "Your father is in so much trouble Gohan…just you see."
Wriggling around in his mom's iron grip, the duo walked into the kitchen. Looking to her right, she saw Goku still sitting at the table. In the same clothes…playing cards with the blueberry muffin.
"Huh?" Chi Chi and Gohan said simultaneously.
Startled, Goku looked up and shrugged. "We've started playing about an hour after you went to bed Chi Chi. So far, no one has won." Goku placed a card down on the table. "Most likely because he has been making his own rules!" Goku pointed a finger at the muffin that laid across from him.
Gohan blinked. "Um. Dad? A muffin can't play cards."
Goku raised an eyebrow. "What? You don't know what you are talking about. Farfignuton and I…"
"Farfignuton?" Chi Chi asked.
"Farfignuton! The muffin's name! Well, we have been playing. So that shows that muffins CAN play cards. Is Piccolo here yet? I want him to meet my new friend!" Goku smiled as he patted the muffin.
"Um…er. Mom? Is dad feeling alright?" Gohan asked looking up at his mother.
Chi Chi placed a hand on her cheek worriedly. Shaking her head she shrugged. "I don't know…no. I…I am going to call Bulma in a few minutes. She might know what is going on. I hope." Walking away from Gohan, Chi Chi took out some pans and turned on the oven. "Ok, guys. What do you want for breakfast?"
Gohan smiled "I want eggs and bacon and…"
"Fine, I'll make that," Chi Chi interrupted. "But you are still going to help me make breakfast, you know. Now come here!" Raising an eyebrow while watching Gohan walk over, Chi Chi looked up at Goku. "What do you want, Goku?"
"Mom? Do we have any of those muffins left? We could eat those?" Gohan asked before his father could answer.
Goku suddenly whipped around and rose up from the table. With a panic voice he shook his head. "No Gohan. What are you a cannibal?" Goku asked while picking up the muffin. "From now on, muffin eating will be off limits here in this house. Everyone understand?"
Gohan nodded as Chi Chi watched Goku leave out of the kitchen. "Hey! What about breakfast? Piccolo will be here soon!" she shouted.
Goku stopped and turned back towards Chi Chi. "Ah. I think I'll skip today. I'll be outside showing Muffy some how to do the Kamehameha. Gohan. Meet you outside." With that Goku walked out of the house.
'Ah. I think I'll skip today'…Ah. I think I'll skip today'…Ah. I think I'll skip today'…rang thought Chi Chi's mind.
"I think I had better call Bulma." Chi Chi said.
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KABOOM!
Bulma dropped her coffee mug as the explosion surprised her. Looking outside, she saw the Gravity Room was destroyed…again. "Aw…darn it Vegeta!" Rising up from her table, she walked out towards the Gravity Room outside when she was stopped by her mom in the hall.
Giggling, Ms. Briefs handed the phone towards her daughter. "Bulma, dear. Chi Chi is on the phone and would like to talk to you…"
"Not now mom. Vegeta has blow up the Training Room again, and I have to go ball that jerk out. Doesn't he know how much it cost to…"
"Chi Chi says it is urgent. Something about Goku not feeling well."
Bulma stopped her rant to look at the phone. "Goku is not feeling well?" Taking the phone out of her mother's hand, she placed it up to her ear. "What's up Chi Chi?"
Chi Chi sighed in relief as she heard Bulma's voice come on. "Bulma. I am sorry to bother you, but I need your help, I think. Goku has been acting weird."
Laughing, Bulma leaned up against the wall. "Chi Chi. We know Goku isn't the most normal person in the world. What is going on then?"
"Humph! I'll tell you. For one thing, he has been talking to this almost stale muffin we got early yesterday morning…"
"Talking to a stale muffin?" Bulma asked incredulously. "Usually if a muffin was placed in front of him, I it would be gone before it could go stale."
"Yes, I know. And one time when I was calling for him, I would see him hiding under the desk in the living room. I would ask him what he is doing, but he wouldn't respond. He would just keep looking at that damn muffin. When I turned my back, he would come out and say, 'I am here Chi Chi! Muffy told me not to answer you.' I swear Bulma, he is really starting to worry me."
Making her way towards the back door leading towards the Gravity Room, she sighed. "Yeah, I can see why. That is way weird for Goku…but you know he could be playing a trick on you…"
"A TRICK? He had better not if he values his life!" Chi Chi screamed on the phone.
"Um…ok! No trick! Heh Heh… Just look, Chi Chi. Send him over here and I'll take a look at him. Make sure he has that…muffin with him so I check it out. See ya later!" With that Bulma hanged up.
Placing the phone on the receiver, she heard a crash come from the kitchen. Walking in it, she saw Vegeta rummaging in the refrigerator and discarding items on the floor. "What do you think you are doing? How dare you blow up the Gravity Room, and now you just barge in here going through my refrigerator?" Bulma yelled.
Vegeta grabbed some food and threw them on the table. "Woman! Make yourself useful and make me some food. And fix that gravity room too! I need to get back to training!"
Growling Bulma threw a can of soup at Vegeta. "Here. If you are that hungry, make it yourself! And oh yeah…" Bulma smirked. "Goku is coming over here soon. Perhaps you two can fight. It will show you how far you will have to go to become the 'Ultimate Warrior'." Laughing, Bulma left the stunned Saiyan in the kitchen.
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Piccolo blinked a couple of times as he watched Goku sit on the ground talking to the muffin. "Gohan. What is wrong with your father? He only spared for 15 minutes then said that was enough. And now he is talking to a muffin?"
Gohan sat on the ground looking worriedly at his father. "Yeah. He threw a fit when I mentioned eating muffins at breakfast."
"Yeah, well. I have had enough of this." Standing up, Piccolo marched over to where Goku was sitting. Upon approaching, Goku looked up at Piccolo and back at the muffin. "We'll continue this later." Turning back his attention to Piccolo, he eyes him suspiciously. "Yes, Piccolo?"
"Son. Enough of this foolishness!" Piccolo reached down and yanked Goku to his feet. "Now let's get this done so I can go back to meditating."
Goku frowned as he stood up. "Fine Piccolo. I just hope you see that you have damaged your chances of becoming friends with Farfignuton. I hope you're hap…"
"Piccolo! I want you to take my husband to Capsule Corp." Chi Chi screamed from the doorway interrupting Goku. "Bulma is going to look at Goku to see what is wrong with him."
"But Chi Chi," Goku looked back at his wife. "Nothing is wrong with me! You're just jealous of the friendship between Farfignuton and I!"
Scowling, Chi Chi crossed her arms again. "Oh yeah, Goku. I am jealous of you talking to a moldy blueberry muffin. Get him out of here, Piccolo."
Piccolo frowned deeply as he looked back and forth between Chi Chi and Goku. Growling, he grabbed Goku's arm. "Son. Let's get this over with. I've already wasted my whole day watching you and that muffin."
"Can I go too Mr. Piccolo?" Gohan asked excitedly. After all, he hadn't been to Capsule Corp. or seen Bulma for a long while. And besides, Mrs. Briefs might have baked some cookies or something.
"I don't think so, Gohan. You are going to study. After all, I want my little scholar to be the best he can be…or else." Watching his mother march towards him, he turned to see Piccolo and his father already far off in the morning sky. Making a face, Gohan sighed. "Deserters…"
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Bulma grabbed the tongue depressor from the counter and made her way over to the fidgeting form of Goku. "Don't worry Goku. You are not getting a shot or anything. Besides, there isn't a needle around in this room."
Placing a hand on Goku's forehead, she brought the depressor towards his mouth. "Ok Goku. Say 'Ah'." Bulma said as she looked into her friend's mouth. "Hmm…no sore throat. Let see. Have you been having a fever that you know of?"
Goku shook his head. "No. I have never been sick a day of my life! Sure, I was supposed to get that Heart Virus thingy, but I never got it, so I am fine!" Goku smiled as he looked down at the muffin. "You know, muffins are our friends!"
Bulma raised an eyebrow as she watched Goku pat the top of the bake good. "Erm…Goku? May I see the muffin for a few minutes, please?"
Goku frowned and looked up at her. "Why? What are you going to do?"
"Huh? I just wanted to look at it…" Bulma smiled. "C'mon, Goku. We've been friends for years! Just let me see the thing…"
"His name is Farfignuton!" Goku said annoyed.
Bulma raised her hands in defense "Ok, ok! Farfignuton. Can I?" Bulma stretched her hands towards the muffin Goku was holding possessively. Grudgingly, Goku placed it in her hands. "Thank you Goku. Vegeta is outside training. He is waiting for Dad to fix the Gravity Room. Why don't you and Piccolo go outside and do a spar or whatever you do. When I am done, I will call you back in."
Goku nodded as he slowly got up from the table. "Ok. Just be careful with him. He doesn't seem to like Chi Chi very much…and from the looks of it…you either."
Bulma looked at Goku quizzically. "And how would you know that?"
Goku headed towards the door. "Cause. He just told me. I am going to find Piccolo. Be back later." Goku said as he walked through and shut the door.
Blinking a couple times in disbelief, Bulma sighed and turned around to look at the muffin. She sat down while grabbing a scalpel beside her. "I am sure Goku won't mind me doing this. After all, if I totally destroy this muffin, I can always get some more from the neighboors next door."
So Bulma sat down to look over the muffin. But little does she know, what evil lurks in the heart of this muffin....
TO BE CONTINUED -------
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It has been awhile since I wrote any humor, so if you didn't like it...oh well. Thanks to all who read. I appreciated it. Next chapter will be much better of course, because we get into the REAL plot and Goku really starts to act strange. So...what will happen...
Goku decides to join the Hair Club for Men?
Will Mirai Trunks ever get back to the Alternate timeline to warn the others of the approaching danger?
Will Gohan ever escape his mother's all seening all knowing grasp.
Will Vegeta ever become a Super Sayian?
All this and more next time!
Hee hee! Take care all! -Jodi