WARNING: This is a very exciting first in the history of ALL of my fanfiction, I have finally decided to include some my favourite WWF superstars in a special match with various anime characters. So prepare for a total WWF frenzy! This is only the first half, I don't no if I should continue on with it, email me below and let me know if you like, okay?
© Cassandra Lovell 2001, cassandralovell@hotmail.com, http://cassandrahq.tripod.com
Yes, it is me, everyone's favourite furry psycho, Cassandra 'Harley' Chammy - Na! *cheering can be heard* Thankyou, thankyou. I already know you love me. *can hits her in the back of the head, she turns to Naga who is sitting up the back of the ring*
"Oops, I must have slipped." Naga laughed, breaking various windows nearby.
"Ah yes," Cassandra scowled from iside the ring, "To prove how totally annoying and flaky I am, I haven't even finsihed the warning, but yet the fic has already started, hahaaha!"
"Hee hee, that's pretty funny." Kensuke laughed before Touji shoved his face into his popcorn from the east stands.
"Oh, and in the west stands are the entire cast from Sailor Moon and Slayers, and in the east are just a whole group of characters no-one really gives a f**k about!" Cassandra jumped out of the ring and headed to sit on the commentators box in front of King and J.R. The two usually hosts of WWF 'Raw is War.'
The ring went dark and then a huge explosion came from the ramp, everyone cheered when they heard Y2J's theme music come over, the muscley figure stepped onto the ramp with his microphone, and waited for silence before he began.
"Welcome to Raw is Jericho!" he shouted, making the crowd go wild with excitement and too much chili sauce in their hotdogs.
"Hey, it's extra mild!" Shinji called from a large pot in the kitchen.
"Tonight I've come here for one thing. And that one thing is-" Jericho started before another voice was heard out the back.
"Aiiiyyaaaa!! Jericho-chan you're so big and strong!" Hitomi raced out and glomped Jericho, knocking him fair over.
"Hey!! Get off me!" the superstar muffled from underneath Hitomi's weight.
"Ha ha, I see my opponent is down." Rikishi walked onto the ramp and laughed at Y2J. He began walking down the ramp towards the ring.
"Hey, mr person, watch out for the-" Hitomi tried to warn Rikishi before he slipped on a puddle of chili sauce and slid down the ramp, rolling into the ring like a bowling ball. He came to a stop at the ring, after he rolled down the ramp and was now coconscious.
"What is this J.R? The authors calling this a match? The contestants haven't even reached the ring yet." King commented.
"Yes, I haven't seen anything this down before since Trish Stratis started making soup with Vince." J.R. laughed.
"Hey J.R, that's just sick." King screwed up his face and the pair looked on unexpectedly to see what was going to happen next.
The ring went back again before another explosion scared the viewers, then an unknown theme came on, it sounded like a number of gayly tuned kazoos all playing at the same time, when the lights came back on a familair blonde warrior was standing dumbfounded in the middle of the ring.
"Oh look King, it's Gourry from Slayers! I haven't seen him in a match before put the crowd is pretty excited." J.R. said. The crowd just looked boredly at the knight who was just looking around wondering if he was lost.
"Yeah, excited." Touji commented sarcastically.
"I am Gourry! I think, and anyway, I am here to fight. I'm not sure about that wither but I think I am." Gourry spoke through the microphone.
Another theme came over, it was Limp Bizkit's 'Roll'in' and it was the Undertakers turn to be cheered into the ring.
He rode his motorcycle around the ring before slowly eyeing Gourry to see where he can get him where it hurts. He entered the ring and stood infront of Gourry, he was clearly taller and more well build. But the knight wasn't discouraged because he probably had no idea exactly what 'WFF' was.
"Wait! Wait I'm not ready! How dare you fools start without me!" Xellos ran down the ramp and into the commentators desk with J.R. and King. He held a large bag of popcorn and coke dispensation helmet. Xellos sat down in between J.R. and King, before turned back to the match. "Ahem, now you may begin."
"You, are going down fancy pants man." The Undertaker glared, he charge at Gourry, and before the knight could do anything he had him around the neck and was preparing already for the famous 'last ride.'
"Wow! What a super move, I haven't seen The Undertaker perform that good since he had it with-" J.R. started.
"Hey, that's not that cool." King growled at him.
"Hey, okay, he's just good." J.R. turned back to match where Gourry had just taken the full blow of the move and was laying down in the ring, twitching.
"I am not finished with you yet." Gourry mumbled, but the ref game him the three count and he brushed aside into the corner of the ring.
"Wow, I'll be amazed to see who The Undertaker's next oppenent is." King gazed.
"I think it's great how they're doing this King, the winner battles on, until the end. There can only be one champion."
Jericho was just pulling himself up after disposing of the crazed Hitomi and was making his way slowly to the ring.
ADD BREAK:
"Hello, welcome to the add break. I'm Lina Inverse here with the latest on beauty care, and here is my wonderful model, Naga." Lina was dressed up in a buisness suit and she walked over to Naga who was dressed in her usual. "Now, I have a lovely new product. It's called 'street-heat.' It's a remarkable, free product that you can do at home." Lina guided Naga onto the middle of the road.
"Ah, what are we doing out here?" Naga asked.
"Don't speak my dear, you'll get horrible wrinkles and unsightly blemishes. Now, all you do is lay down on the road in the intense boiling heat. There you lay for three hours, feeling the searing gravel char into the back of your head, and your face and lips slowly blister, and maybe if you're lucky, a lovely, charming young so-and-so will came and leave tire tracks on your face to give you that lovely, hospitalised conplexcion." Lina smiled, watching a car hit Naga. "But kids, please don't do this at home with-out adult supervision, you want them to watch while your bones are slowly being crushed beneath the tires."
"Great, but Lina, I don't think my left side is very even..." Naga moaned, clearly battered, before fainting.
END OF THE ADD BREAK
"Wow King, Jericho is gotten up and is headingin to take on the Undertaker! I haven't seen an upset like that since Rikishi gave a stick face to HHH!" J.R. commented.
"Hey, dude! That's NOT cool!" King was getting very tired of J.R.'s bad comments, he'd had to put up with them so sooo long and god knows how much more he could take. "Anyway, what do yu think Xellos?" King asked the pale faced mazoku, who was busy eating his popcorn.
"Sou wa himitsu desu." he whispered quietly.
"Ah, great..." King said.
"You, American bad-ass are going to have your 'bad ass' kicked all over the ring." Jericho smirked. The two were giving each other death stares before the ring went dark YET again, and a few lights shone to the roof where a suspended platform was slowly making it's way down to the ring.
"Prepare for trouble!" came a familiar female voice.
"And make it double." a male suave voice took over.
"To protect the world from devistation.
"To unite all people's with-in out nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reaches to the stars above."
"Jesse!" Jess posed.
"James." James also posed.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" Jesse yelled.
'So surrender now or prepare to fight." James pulled out his rose.
'Meowth, that's right!"
There Team Rocket stood on a platform just metres above the ring, but suddenly the metal cable supporting the platform broke and they fell into the ring and to the mercy of Jericho and the Undertaker.
"Oops, silly me. I slipped and made the same mistake twice. What is the likelihood of that?" Naga laughed from above the cable, holding a huge wirecutter.
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again?" James whimpered.
"Stop being an ass! That's too old, get a new defeat logo." Jesse hit James over the head.
"But Jesse, our fans expect it." James moaned. The crowd 'booed.' "It seems they're all out of town tonight."
"God." Jesse slapped her head. Jame's was giving the last ride and disgarded ontop of Gourry in the far side of the ring, while Jesse took up flirting to Y2J.
"So, you going alwhere Friday night?"
"Uh..." Jericho was deciding wheather to beat her up or except.
"Well, I've gotta go." Jesse ran back up the ramp.
"Just look at that. To think I talked for you." Meowth grumbled, before being mashed to a bloodied pulp by the two wresters.
"Hey King, I haven't seen a-" J.R. started.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!" King jumped up on the desk, picked J.R. up out of his chair and tossed into a group of crazed anime fangirls.
Shinji walked through the various stand trying to now sell glasses of water to those who had been affected by the chili sauce, but they resorted to beating him up.
Naga leapt into the ring infront of the American Bad-ass and Y2J, they immediatly saw her and developed resonably LARGE nose-bleeds, and the ring was soon a pool of their mucus and blood.
"Hey, get her off!" Touji grabbed one of Kensuke's cups of lemonade and chucked it at Naga, it hit her in the head.
"Ow!" Naga turned to see the culprit, before a half eaten beefy burger landed in her mouth. Flames burst from her body and she stood their flaming before other various half -eaten food packages came flying at her.
"Hey! That's mine!" Kensuke wrestled Touji for his box of weenies before they were taken from him and thrown at Naga.
"Ha ha! Got ya!" Touji laughed and another box his the flaming girl.
"Grrryyaaaa!!" Naga pulled off her top leather bikini.
"Oh my god, all good comes to those who wait..." Touji gasped staring at her now exposed bust, and developed a nosebleed like the others.
"Yeah, but revenge comes to those who have leather." Naga laughed maniacally before picking up Rikishi, sticking him in her bikini and flung him like a sling-shot at Touji. When Rikishi hit the stand he tood out Touji's entire row before rolling back down to the bottom of the ring. Naga put her top back on before turning to see Lina staring at her.
"You know I will always repect your honerable sacrifice." Lina smiled before hitting her into the air with the mop she was using to the clean the ring up.
"Linaaaaaaa!" Naga's voice trailed off into the night as she flew through the air.
"Hmmm, now the ring's clean. My work here is done." Lina walked off the ring and back up the ramp.
Suddenly a huge siren came over, and R.T.C appeared on the ramp. The crowd started 'booing' yet again, and screaming an assortment of sware words.
"We are here because there has been much disgraceful behavior here to night." The Goodfather stepped forward out of the group.
"Yes, there has been pervse activities, and other enities, which are unsuitable for children watching at home." Ivory stood next to him.
"But who said childen are watching?" a voice came from behind the group, they walked towards the ring to get a better view of who was talking to them.
"Yeah, this is mean to be wrestling." another femanine voice spoke up. Everyone starred at the group of girls all dressed in leather, it was 'the hoes,' lead by none other than Jesse, who had earlier made and appearence.
"Now girls. What do you say we do to them?" Jesse asked.
"I dunno." a blonde girl stepped forwards with a box of extra strong duct tape.
"Now, now not to tight. We want them alive when they're being humiliated."
"Yes Jesse." the girls said from their place on the large screen where they had duct-taped the entire group of R.T.C.
"Now, if the crowd feels like it, they can have some fun!" Jesse laughed, and the girls left. The crowd began throwing tacos and weenies at R.T.C, while they screamed for someone to let them down.
"Ahem. You right now?" Jericho helped the Undertaker up, and they continued stuffing pieces of toilet paper up their noses to stop the bleeding.
"Yeah, I'm right now." the Undertaker stuck a few more pieces up his nose before they both headed back into the ring to continue the match.
"Good, because now I- Hey, where was I again?" Jericho asked.
"You were saying how you're gonna kick my ass all over the ring."
"Oh, thankyou."
"Your welcome." the Undertaker replied.
"No really, I didn't remember that. I owe you one." Y2J said.
"Oh, that's really not necessary." the Undertaker smiled.
"God damn, get on with the damn match already. We want violence, you know, blood, guts, the cracking of bones and the tearing of flesh!" Sailor Moon yelled from the crowd.
"She doesn't sound too plesant." the Undertaker commented.
"No, she doesn't does she." Jericho agreed.
"Oh well, we'd better stop wasting everybodies time, they must all have families to get home to." the Undertaker smiled.
"Oh yes, I'm sure. Should I start?" Jericho asked.
"Oh go ahead."
"Are you sure? I mean, I think you should go ahead."
"Oh no, I'd be ever so guilty." the Undertaker said.
"God damn! What are you pansies!? Some-one would think you're like gay or something!!" Sailor Moon continued to scream.
"That's it! No-one calls me gay and gets away with it!" Jericho charged at Sailor Moon, leaping into the crowd.
"I don't know how she knew about me." the Undertaker blushed, and tried to cover his face with his hands.
"Ack!" Sailor Moon struggled under Jericho's death grip, he let go and he ran after her into the car park.
"And now because both wresters are too preoccupied with other things, we have two knew wrestlers. The Rock vs Zelgaitis!" Cassandra yelled from on the commentators desk.
"Hey, you were'nt here earlier." King said to Cassandra.
"I'm the author, I'm everywhere." Cassandra informed before disappearing.
"Everywhere? Cool!" Carrot Glace quickly looked inside his pants.
"Well maybe not, everywhere..." Cassandra mumbled.
"Who said I was pre-occupied?" the Undertaker asked.
"You're knitting." King growled.
"I am? Where?" the Undertaker looked at the knitting needles in hishands. "Oh, tee hee, my mistake."
"We're still here you know." James moaned from the far side of the ring.
"Yeah, we're not dead yet." Gourry added.
"Well, I guess I could give you another few minutes." cassandra inspected the pair before disappearing again, Carrot again looked in his pants, and then a metal rafter suddenly feel from the roof and hit him on the head.
"Oh sorry, must have been something you said." Cassandra giggled.
The Rock's theme came on and he proudly walked into the ring as the crowd began cheering 'rocky,' over and over again. It was clear that The Rock was the peoples champion. Then Zelgaitis quietly stepped into the ring. He kept starring at the floor, and didn't looked up. When he got into the ring he just stood there as The Rock started hammering into him, but as it appeared, to no evail. Zelgaitis just stood there, not even blinking.
"It seems that The Rock is having a hard time trying to scratch Zelgaitis, the stone dude." King commented.
"No pun intended." Cassandra smiled.
"Don't go looking at me, you're the author." King shot.
INTERMISSION BREAK:
"Hello kiddies, I'm Kurt 'kick my gay faggoty ass' Angle. And I'm here to show you around my new kindergarten center, it's called 'little Kurt's cradle for kiddies.'" the gay, wrester was wearing hus usual gay attire and was throwing flowers everywhere as he walked around his caring center. He walked up to a little girl. "Hello little girl. Are you having fun at 'little Kurt's cradle for kiddies?' What's your name?" Kurt asked the small pigtailed girl. She just looked at him and burst out crying before running away to her mummy. Kurt walked up to another kid, this was a small little boy who was sucking his thumb. "Hello, what's your name?"
"My mummy said I should never talk to you." the little boy said.
"Oh, and why not?" Kurt laughed at the little boy.
"Because she said you're a dick slapping little papa's boy who deserves a good ass whip'n instead of getting the championship belt." the little boy replied.
"Oh." Kurt waked onto his final kid, this was another little boy. "What's your nam-" But before Kurt could finish he was on the ground wincing in pain after the little kid had planted a kick fair between his nuts. Then the other kids started screaming and grabbed skipping ropes, tieing him up before dragging him away. "See mummies and daddies, everybody loves 'little Kurt's cradle for kiddies.'" Kurt said to the camera before another little tike stuck a lump of play-dough in his mouth.
END OF INTERMISSION BREAK