They left in the middle of the night, hoping to be able see by moonlight. Yet the moon was dim and there was only a sliver of it visible in the sky. There were no stars out either, and the night was very dark, almost pitch black, except for some very faintly visible Balamb city lights, back the way they had come. They stumbled around in the dark, bumping into each other, sometimes tripping and falling to the sandy ground, or into the surf, getting soaked and gritty and tired and cold, and eventually, when Raijin fell into a heap on the ground, and didn't get up again, panting and wheezing, they all sat down and joined him, breathing hard and staring off behind them, terrified that any minute they would hear the sound of feet running, someone coming, or even see an approaching light in the distance. Everyone was jumpy and on edge, and Seifer himself felt awful, because he knew none of this would have happened if it were not for him being who he was. No one spoke for a very long time, until Fujin finally spoke up. "HUNGRY," she proclaimed, and Raijin nodded, eying the pack of food they'd brought with them. Seifer nodded, and opened it up; taking out a few fish sandwiches and some bottled water he'd obtained in Balamb. They fish didn't smell nearly as bad, he thought, stuffing it into his mouth, as he'd thought it had. Maybe it was just because he was so hungry.

He heard the sounds of crunching and chomping from one side of him, and assumed that Raijin must be on that side. Therefore the other side must be Fujin, he thought, and tried to see her through the darkness, but couldn't. So he reached out a hand, groping around until he found hers, resting on the ground near an empty bottle, and he placed his own on it. "You cold, Fuu-sama?" She said nothing for a moment, and then he felt her hand tense in his. He couldn't understand it. Why did she keep avoiding him? Maybe she was just tired, he thought, hoping to Hyne that it was true. He couldn't understand why it mattered so much, compared to all his other problems, but he hated so much when she drew away from him like that. Hadn't they been friends for most of their lives? Was she scared of him, he wondered, suddenly realizing, maybe scared that he'd do to her what that stupid SeeD had done to her? That he'd turn on her like that? He squeezed her hand tighter, not realizing that he was doing it, and vowed that he'd tell her in the morning that he'd never ever hurt her that way. He never wanted to hurt her or Raijin again; he'd already done enough to ruin their lives. He'd taken them away from their safety, their friends, and dragged them on his stupid crusade. Now they were all lost, and they had each other, and he needed them, and hated himself.

Then suddenly he felt the answering pressure from Fujin's hand, and felt it shivering beneath his. He removed his coat, and threw it over her shoulders, ignoring the cold that now crept in all around him, satisfied when she stopped shaking. "Thank You," she whispered, and he bit his lip. "Try to get some sleep, Fuu," he said, reluctantly letting go of her hand, feeling the strange comfort it gave him just to know that she was there next to him. He looked over at Raijin and saw him collapsed on the ground, already asleep. Shaking his head in bewilderment, he hunkered down on the sand and tried to close his own eyes and drift off. But he couldn't, and wouldn't fall asleep until he heard the gentle rise and fall of Fujin's breath next to him, and knew that she was also asleep. Then he felt safe to sleep himself. Yet he still could not.

Standing up and quietly walking a few paces away from his sleeping companions, he found a rock to seat himself on, and watched the only visible star in the sky for a long time, until everything else around him became a hazy, drowsy blur. He knew he had to get his rest, but couldn't help thinking about getting up and leaving without Raijin and Fujin. He knew that if they were found, they wouldn't be blamed for all the things he'd done. They'd tried to turn him, had gone with him, but had never truly helped him in his horrible schemes. They'd be able to find somewhere to go, and would be able to lead their lives happily without him. He didn't want to drag them into this any more than they already were, didn't want to endanger their lives for his own sake. He knew he could get up right now and just leave, and in the morning they would wake up and he'd be gone, and they wouldn't know where. Eventually, he hoped, they'd give up looking and go off on their own.

But he knew also that he couldn't do that…because he needed them. He'd only been able to salvage what was left of his life after Ultimecia, because they had come along to help him. He'd tried to kill himself, after Ultimecia had been defeated, and he'd been snapped back to his senses, and Raijin had found him, had held him down while Fujin wrenched the gunblade out of his grasp. They'd sat there and talked to him for hours, while he struggled and moaned and tried to reach the weapon that would end all of their torment. But after a while, he'd decided it was better to live, and had been talked into letting Raijin and Fujin come with him as he ran away from the world that wanted his head on a silver platter. But early on he'd begun having second thoughts, and had tried so hard to persuade Fujin and Raijin to leave him. But they wouldn't. They'd even seen through his attempts to shake him when he pretended to have gone back to his old ways. They'd known all through that that he was lying, and he'd given up. There was nothing he could do.

He couldn't go on with out them, he knew, and he knew that if he left them here, that would be the end of him. He'd either end his own life after all, or be caught eventually, maybe even of his own will, because he wouldn't have anything to live for. And really, he didn't want to die, he just wanted to live a different life, somewhere where they could all be happy, and wouldn't have to worry about any of it anymore. He sat on the rock and hung his head and held back the tears that threatened to spill forth. But Seifer Almasy didn't cry…and he had to go on tomorrow.