TEAM ROCKET ON-LINE
Author's note: This was done in a really short amount of time, and is rather stupid. Ah well. Oh, and I' don't own Pokemon... YET! ^_^
Another day had gone by for our friends in the Poke-verse. Another day where Ash had a pokemon battle with some wanker, won through dumb luck, and danced around in little circles with that annoying yellow rat that he has. (Little does he know that the lil' bastard is secretly plotting to kill him, along with Togepi, who not many people know has spent time in a maximum security prison.) And as usual, Team Rocket had made their appearance and said their motto in an attempt to get Pikachu (seeing that for some reason, they couldn't go after someone else's Pikachu instead. That would be so wrong, wouldn't it? ^_^!). And of course, they've gotten blasted off in the space of a few minutes. Nothing we haven't already seen. Now, the villanious trio that is Jessie, James and Meowth are hiding out in a Team Rocket cabin for the night, which is located in one of the vast array of forests that seem to cover the entire Pokemon world. Actually, James isn't with his two counterparts at the moment. He's gone off on a 'secret mission', and Jessie and Meowth are passing the time with…
Jessie: Full house! Read 'em and weep, furball!
Meowth: Oh yeah? Five aces! *slams his cards down on an over-turned crate they're using as a table* Take it off, take it off, take it off!
Jessie: Dammit! *starts taking off her jacket when..* Hey, did you say five aces?
Meowth: Uh… no.
Jessie: Why you little..! *the two get in a cat fight, just as James walks in the door carrying a package*
James: Hey you two, look what I got! *steps over the battling duo and opens his package on the makeshift card table* Ta da!
*Jessie and Meowth look up*
Jessie: A laptop? *stands behind James as he boots up*
James: You betcha!
Meowth: How did ya get one of dem? Did ya steal it?
James: No, I got it from the Team Rocket HQ. *shows them the big red 'R' on the top of the laptop* They said that I had been such a great employee, I deserved to get this nifty piece of software to help further my skills!
Jessie: *pauses* You stole it off Mondo, didn't you?
James: *sweatdrops* Uh… hey look, it's on! Let's get on-line! *clicks on the IE logo, and the Yahoo! Homepage pops up.* What do you guys wanna check out?
Meowth: I dunno. We could always check out pokemon.com.
Jessie: Pfft, that lame-ass site that says we're twelve years old? Forget it! Hey James, type in Team Rocket and see what comes up.
James: *typing* Okay, but Team Rocket's a top secret criminal organization, do you really think there'd be any webpages dedicated to… *sees '1365 matches' come up on the screen* Oh. Which one should we go to?
Meowth: Well, let's start at the beginning! Click on that first one- 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' ((AN: I'm just making this page up, so if it really does exist out there in cyberspace, it's not the one I'm reffering to J))
James: *clicks* Hey look! It's got a pic of us three on the homepage, guys!
Jessie: US?! How did WE get on the internet?
Meowth: That's creepy. Maybe someone's watchin' us!
James: *clicks on the 'Biographies' section* I wonder what's here. *screen comes up with as much attainable information on Jessie, James and Meowth as is humanly… well, attainable*
Jessie: What's all this?
James: Yikes! How could they know all this stuff about us?!
Meowth: Yeah, and where'd they get all dose pictures from?
James: *clicks on the back button, then goes to the 'Galleries' section* Look, there's more!
Jessie: Look, it's got that picture of me and you when we were in the balloon after the Jessiebell incedent, James! I thought we were the only ones there!
James: Obviously not! How else could they have gotten all these pictures? And look, there's pictures of us when we're camping, chasing Pikachu… hey, isn't that one from the time we were sinking on the Saint Anne?
Meowth: Dis is freakin' me out! I'm gonna get myself a saucer of milk! *scampers off*
Jessie: What should we do?
James: *now checking out the 'Fan Contributions' section* I don't know. Maybe we could e-mail them and ask about how they got all this stuff.
Jessie: Maybe… what if they don't reply? Or if they come after us?
James: I guess there's only one way to find out.
Jessie: Wait, we have to plan what we're gonna say very carefully. And maybe we shouldn't tell them that it's really us e-mailing them. I'm gonna get a pen and paper and write a few drafts.
James: Yeah. You can never be too sure, this person might track us to this cabin if they know it's us e-mailing them.
Jessie: *nods, and walks off to start writing some drafts*
James: *In the 'Fan Art' section of the page. As he scrolls down past various artists' names, he sees a word he has never seen before* Hey Jess? What does 'hentai' mean?
Jessie: *in another part of the cabin* I don't know. It sounds Japanese.
James: Oh well, I guess I'd better find out. Maybe the person who's behind all this is Japanese. *Clicks on a link titled 'Team Rocket hentai', which is proceeded by a bunch of fan pics of Jessie and James… well, it IS hentai, I'll leave it to your sick, twisted imagination ^_^* Oh good God!!!
Jessie: What is it?
James: *speechless* I… I…
Meowth: *coming to see what all the fuss is about* Hey James, what are ya lookin' a- *sees what's on the screen* AHHH, MY EYES, MY EYES!!!
James: Hey look, this picture has you in there with us, Meowth! At least I think it's you… I can't tell from that angle.
Meowth: *runs out of the cabin screaming*
Jessie: *Walks up to him and looks over his shoulder, experiencing much the same reaction her partner had* Holy shit! That's it, we're e-mailing this freak right now! What's his e-mail address?
James: Uh…
Jessie: Well?!
James: It's giovanni@team-rocket.com
Jessie: HUH?!!
Meanwhile, back at Team Rocket HQ
Giovanni: *is putting up more Rocketshippy hentai on his 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' website* Hm, I'd better stop drawing all this crap and get back to work. After all, if I don't get much money this week, I might have to start closing down some of my Official Rocketshipper fan-clubs!
Back at the cabin…
*James has shut the computer down. He and Jessie are huddled in a corner, staring at the device as if it could jump up and eat them*
James: AHHH!
Jessie: What?
James: IT MOVED! THE EVIL SATANIC HENTAI COMPUTER MOVED!!
Jessie: *hits him with her fan* Get a hold of yourself, James! Just because there's some twisted stuff on the 'net dosen't mean that the computer's-
Computer: Ahahahaha!!
Jessie and James: AHHH!
Computer: *in a deep monotone voice* I am Satan, ruler of all that is evil! Now listen, and listen well. You WILL return this computer to Mondo. You WILL bow before the mighty Mondo. Jessie WILL marry *voice turns into that of a teenage-sounding kid* the mighty Mon… ah, stupid piece of crap! *kicks his voice distorting machine*
James: Mondo, is that you?
Mondo: Uh… no.
Jessie: Mondo!! *glares daggers at the computer*
Mondo: Okay, okay, it's me! I installed that Satan voice-over thingy in the computer for a Halloween party last year!
James: Oh yeah, I remember that! You got completely drunk and danced around with your underwear on your head in front of Jessie!
Mondo: Hey, shut up already! At least I wasn't the one trying to hump the sofa!
Jessie: Actually you were.
Mondo: … Can I have my computer back now?
Jessie: No. We've just found a very disturbing site with… pictures of me and James on it. And get this, the webmaster's e-mail addtess is the same as the Boss's!
Mondo: Oh, you mean Giovanni's 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' website?
James: Wait a minute, you know about it?
Mondo: EVERYBODY knows about THAT website, James! Did ya see the hentai section?
Jessie: Of course we did, and it was the most horrible distressing thing we've ever seen in our lives! There was even a picture of me and you making out, Mondo! Don't you find that disturbing?
Mondo: Oh, heh heh, I wonder who drew that picture? *blushing and shoving a few sketches under his matress*
James: Well, is there any way we can get this site shut down?
Mondo: Not likely. It's in your contract.
James: WHAT?!
Mondo: Yeah, at the very bottom in fine print it says 'if Jessie and James sign this contract, Giovanni is allowed to make strange and twisted websites dedicated to them'.
Jessie: Damn, I knew I should've read the fine print.
James: Waaaah!! This is so humiliating! Someone, please, make it go away!
Mondo: Woah, take it easy Jimbo! Just think, right now thousands of people around the world are looking at pictures of you guys getting it on and thinking 'wow, these two are really flexible'!
Jessie: *pulls out her mallet and smashes the computer*
Meanwhile…
Ash: *on a computer* Hey guys, look at this!
Misty: *trying desperatly to teach Togepi some attacks* Ugh, what is it Ash? This had better be good!
Brock: *cooking dinner* Yeah, what's so important that I have to risk burning our soup?
Ash: Giovanni's updated his website!
Brock and Misty: Ooo! *hurry over to the computer and take a look*
Brock: Wow, these two are really flexible!
Back at the cabin…
Jessie: *is now whacking James with her mallot*
James: Ow! Jessie, why are you *whack* OW! Why are you hitting me?!
Jessie: *whack* Because I'm angry!!
James: Can't you take it out on a stress ball or something?
Jessie: Because there aren't pictures of me on the internet making out with a stress ball!
James: Hey, it's not like I'm not feeling humiliated either!
Jessie: *pauses* I s'pose you're right. *puts her mallot away*
James: *sighing in relief* Jess?
Jessie: What?
James: Maybe no one will realise that it was us in those drawings.
Jessie: What do you mean?
James: Well, in most of them you could hardly see our faces anyway.
Jessie: Grrr… *pulls out her mallot again*
Meanwhile- hm, that's sounding repetative… I know! Whilst all this is going on…
Psychiatrist: 'Hentai' you say?
Meowth: Yeah… it was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in all of my nine lives!
Psychiatrist: Hm. Well, after assessing your mental health, I have concluded that this experience has made you clinically insane. *puts him in a straight-jacket* You will spend the rest of your life in a padded cell.
Meowth: NOOOOO, ooooh, okay.
The moral of this story: Never mix watching 'Pokemon' with lack of sleep!
Author's note: This was done in a really short amount of time, and is rather stupid. Ah well. Oh, and I' don't own Pokemon... YET! ^_^
Another day had gone by for our friends in the Poke-verse. Another day where Ash had a pokemon battle with some wanker, won through dumb luck, and danced around in little circles with that annoying yellow rat that he has. (Little does he know that the lil' bastard is secretly plotting to kill him, along with Togepi, who not many people know has spent time in a maximum security prison.) And as usual, Team Rocket had made their appearance and said their motto in an attempt to get Pikachu (seeing that for some reason, they couldn't go after someone else's Pikachu instead. That would be so wrong, wouldn't it? ^_^!). And of course, they've gotten blasted off in the space of a few minutes. Nothing we haven't already seen. Now, the villanious trio that is Jessie, James and Meowth are hiding out in a Team Rocket cabin for the night, which is located in one of the vast array of forests that seem to cover the entire Pokemon world. Actually, James isn't with his two counterparts at the moment. He's gone off on a 'secret mission', and Jessie and Meowth are passing the time with…
Jessie: Full house! Read 'em and weep, furball!
Meowth: Oh yeah? Five aces! *slams his cards down on an over-turned crate they're using as a table* Take it off, take it off, take it off!
Jessie: Dammit! *starts taking off her jacket when..* Hey, did you say five aces?
Meowth: Uh… no.
Jessie: Why you little..! *the two get in a cat fight, just as James walks in the door carrying a package*
James: Hey you two, look what I got! *steps over the battling duo and opens his package on the makeshift card table* Ta da!
*Jessie and Meowth look up*
Jessie: A laptop? *stands behind James as he boots up*
James: You betcha!
Meowth: How did ya get one of dem? Did ya steal it?
James: No, I got it from the Team Rocket HQ. *shows them the big red 'R' on the top of the laptop* They said that I had been such a great employee, I deserved to get this nifty piece of software to help further my skills!
Jessie: *pauses* You stole it off Mondo, didn't you?
James: *sweatdrops* Uh… hey look, it's on! Let's get on-line! *clicks on the IE logo, and the Yahoo! Homepage pops up.* What do you guys wanna check out?
Meowth: I dunno. We could always check out pokemon.com.
Jessie: Pfft, that lame-ass site that says we're twelve years old? Forget it! Hey James, type in Team Rocket and see what comes up.
James: *typing* Okay, but Team Rocket's a top secret criminal organization, do you really think there'd be any webpages dedicated to… *sees '1365 matches' come up on the screen* Oh. Which one should we go to?
Meowth: Well, let's start at the beginning! Click on that first one- 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' ((AN: I'm just making this page up, so if it really does exist out there in cyberspace, it's not the one I'm reffering to J))
James: *clicks* Hey look! It's got a pic of us three on the homepage, guys!
Jessie: US?! How did WE get on the internet?
Meowth: That's creepy. Maybe someone's watchin' us!
James: *clicks on the 'Biographies' section* I wonder what's here. *screen comes up with as much attainable information on Jessie, James and Meowth as is humanly… well, attainable*
Jessie: What's all this?
James: Yikes! How could they know all this stuff about us?!
Meowth: Yeah, and where'd they get all dose pictures from?
James: *clicks on the back button, then goes to the 'Galleries' section* Look, there's more!
Jessie: Look, it's got that picture of me and you when we were in the balloon after the Jessiebell incedent, James! I thought we were the only ones there!
James: Obviously not! How else could they have gotten all these pictures? And look, there's pictures of us when we're camping, chasing Pikachu… hey, isn't that one from the time we were sinking on the Saint Anne?
Meowth: Dis is freakin' me out! I'm gonna get myself a saucer of milk! *scampers off*
Jessie: What should we do?
James: *now checking out the 'Fan Contributions' section* I don't know. Maybe we could e-mail them and ask about how they got all this stuff.
Jessie: Maybe… what if they don't reply? Or if they come after us?
James: I guess there's only one way to find out.
Jessie: Wait, we have to plan what we're gonna say very carefully. And maybe we shouldn't tell them that it's really us e-mailing them. I'm gonna get a pen and paper and write a few drafts.
James: Yeah. You can never be too sure, this person might track us to this cabin if they know it's us e-mailing them.
Jessie: *nods, and walks off to start writing some drafts*
James: *In the 'Fan Art' section of the page. As he scrolls down past various artists' names, he sees a word he has never seen before* Hey Jess? What does 'hentai' mean?
Jessie: *in another part of the cabin* I don't know. It sounds Japanese.
James: Oh well, I guess I'd better find out. Maybe the person who's behind all this is Japanese. *Clicks on a link titled 'Team Rocket hentai', which is proceeded by a bunch of fan pics of Jessie and James… well, it IS hentai, I'll leave it to your sick, twisted imagination ^_^* Oh good God!!!
Jessie: What is it?
James: *speechless* I… I…
Meowth: *coming to see what all the fuss is about* Hey James, what are ya lookin' a- *sees what's on the screen* AHHH, MY EYES, MY EYES!!!
James: Hey look, this picture has you in there with us, Meowth! At least I think it's you… I can't tell from that angle.
Meowth: *runs out of the cabin screaming*
Jessie: *Walks up to him and looks over his shoulder, experiencing much the same reaction her partner had* Holy shit! That's it, we're e-mailing this freak right now! What's his e-mail address?
James: Uh…
Jessie: Well?!
James: It's giovanni@team-rocket.com
Jessie: HUH?!!
Meanwhile, back at Team Rocket HQ
Giovanni: *is putting up more Rocketshippy hentai on his 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' website* Hm, I'd better stop drawing all this crap and get back to work. After all, if I don't get much money this week, I might have to start closing down some of my Official Rocketshipper fan-clubs!
Back at the cabin…
*James has shut the computer down. He and Jessie are huddled in a corner, staring at the device as if it could jump up and eat them*
James: AHHH!
Jessie: What?
James: IT MOVED! THE EVIL SATANIC HENTAI COMPUTER MOVED!!
Jessie: *hits him with her fan* Get a hold of yourself, James! Just because there's some twisted stuff on the 'net dosen't mean that the computer's-
Computer: Ahahahaha!!
Jessie and James: AHHH!
Computer: *in a deep monotone voice* I am Satan, ruler of all that is evil! Now listen, and listen well. You WILL return this computer to Mondo. You WILL bow before the mighty Mondo. Jessie WILL marry *voice turns into that of a teenage-sounding kid* the mighty Mon… ah, stupid piece of crap! *kicks his voice distorting machine*
James: Mondo, is that you?
Mondo: Uh… no.
Jessie: Mondo!! *glares daggers at the computer*
Mondo: Okay, okay, it's me! I installed that Satan voice-over thingy in the computer for a Halloween party last year!
James: Oh yeah, I remember that! You got completely drunk and danced around with your underwear on your head in front of Jessie!
Mondo: Hey, shut up already! At least I wasn't the one trying to hump the sofa!
Jessie: Actually you were.
Mondo: … Can I have my computer back now?
Jessie: No. We've just found a very disturbing site with… pictures of me and James on it. And get this, the webmaster's e-mail addtess is the same as the Boss's!
Mondo: Oh, you mean Giovanni's 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' website?
James: Wait a minute, you know about it?
Mondo: EVERYBODY knows about THAT website, James! Did ya see the hentai section?
Jessie: Of course we did, and it was the most horrible distressing thing we've ever seen in our lives! There was even a picture of me and you making out, Mondo! Don't you find that disturbing?
Mondo: Oh, heh heh, I wonder who drew that picture? *blushing and shoving a few sketches under his matress*
James: Well, is there any way we can get this site shut down?
Mondo: Not likely. It's in your contract.
James: WHAT?!
Mondo: Yeah, at the very bottom in fine print it says 'if Jessie and James sign this contract, Giovanni is allowed to make strange and twisted websites dedicated to them'.
Jessie: Damn, I knew I should've read the fine print.
James: Waaaah!! This is so humiliating! Someone, please, make it go away!
Mondo: Woah, take it easy Jimbo! Just think, right now thousands of people around the world are looking at pictures of you guys getting it on and thinking 'wow, these two are really flexible'!
Jessie: *pulls out her mallet and smashes the computer*
Meanwhile…
Ash: *on a computer* Hey guys, look at this!
Misty: *trying desperatly to teach Togepi some attacks* Ugh, what is it Ash? This had better be good!
Brock: *cooking dinner* Yeah, what's so important that I have to risk burning our soup?
Ash: Giovanni's updated his website!
Brock and Misty: Ooo! *hurry over to the computer and take a look*
Brock: Wow, these two are really flexible!
Back at the cabin…
Jessie: *is now whacking James with her mallot*
James: Ow! Jessie, why are you *whack* OW! Why are you hitting me?!
Jessie: *whack* Because I'm angry!!
James: Can't you take it out on a stress ball or something?
Jessie: Because there aren't pictures of me on the internet making out with a stress ball!
James: Hey, it's not like I'm not feeling humiliated either!
Jessie: *pauses* I s'pose you're right. *puts her mallot away*
James: *sighing in relief* Jess?
Jessie: What?
James: Maybe no one will realise that it was us in those drawings.
Jessie: What do you mean?
James: Well, in most of them you could hardly see our faces anyway.
Jessie: Grrr… *pulls out her mallot again*
Meanwhile- hm, that's sounding repetative… I know! Whilst all this is going on…
Psychiatrist: 'Hentai' you say?
Meowth: Yeah… it was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in all of my nine lives!
Psychiatrist: Hm. Well, after assessing your mental health, I have concluded that this experience has made you clinically insane. *puts him in a straight-jacket* You will spend the rest of your life in a padded cell.
Meowth: NOOOOO, ooooh, okay.
The moral of this story: Never mix watching 'Pokemon' with lack of sleep!