TEAM ROCKET ON-LINE PART TWO: THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS!
Author's note: To understand this, you NEED to read the first part- http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=400185
Oh yeah, and I still don't own Pokemon.
Luv, Friezaess.
Narrator: When we last left our heroes, or rather our villains, they had stumbled upon a website that contains... things that the 4Kids censor won't allow!
4Kids: Guns, James in a women's body suit, someone mentioning the word butt and… HENTAI?!! What kind of sick twisted people in Japan created this show anyway?
FUNimation: Hello, we're FUNimation! We mutilated- uh, I mean dubbed DragonBall Z. We've come to help you in your time of need!
4Kids: What experience do you have?
FUNimation: Basically, it's our job to screw up even the best of anime. We gave a powerful tyrant a girly voice, got rid of most of the blood in the battles thus ruining the mood completely, dumbed down the dialogue so that two year olds could watch it, and basically turned a great, action packed anime series into a little kids show!
4Kids: Wow, good job! You're in!
Friezaess: Screw up DBZ, will you? Leave out the part in 'Holy Matrimony!' where James says 'But I'd rather be with you forever' to Jessie, huh? Oh, I've wanted to do this for a loooong time! *pulls out her trusty machine gun and annihilates 4Kids and FUNimation, the two spawns of Satan.* Mwahaha! Now, on with the show!
Jessie: Alright, I don't care if it's the Boss who created that site, heck I don't care if it was in our contracts, we've got to get it off the net! James, e-mail him telling him we won't take it!
James: B-but Jess, you smashed the computer!
Jessie: Grrr… fine. We'll just have to go see him in person.
James: WHAT?! But this is the Boss we're talking about, we can't-
Jessie: There's free donuts in his office. *James dashes past her in a blue and white blur*
James: C'mon, hurry up, we gotta go talk to the donut! I mean the Boss!
Jessie: Wait up, I'm coming, I'm coming!
Elsewhere, walking through the same forest Team Rocket are in…
Ash: What's that?
Pokedex: Rock- a geological creation of nature.
Ash: Geo-ma-logi-gol? Wow! I'm gonna capture it!
Misty: Ash you idiot! It's just a-
Tracey: Shhh, Misty, you'll scare it! I'm gonna sketch it!
Misty: Where did you come from? In the first part of this godforsaken fic Brock was with us, not you!
Tracey: I stabbed him in the brain with my pencil, heh heh heh.
Togepi: Togi togi! (And I slit his throat! Hahahaha!)
Ash: Pokeball, go! *Throws pokeball at the rock. But seeing that only Pokemon can go into pokeballs, the capturing device simply bounces off* Oh, it's good! I'm going to have to weaken it first. Pikachu, thundershock!
Pikachu: Pika pi pi chu! (God this guy is a wanker. Oh well, if it'll shut him up…) PikaCHUUUUUU!! *Thundershocks the rock, but it has no affect considering that rocks don't absorb electricity*
Tracey: Uh oh, it's looking mad! We've gotta get out of here or it'll attack us!
Ash: No no no, it's fine! Look I can even walk right up to it and pat it! *Does so, but some of the electricity from Pikachu's attack still lingers on the surface of the rock, and Ash gets a small shock* Ahh! It's on a rampage! Let's get out of here!
*Tracey and Ash run away screaming, with Misty trudging along behind*
Misty: Damn it, I knew I was better off as a hoe!
Meanwhile, walking in the opposite direction…
James: Are we there yet?
Jessie: No.
James: Are we there yet?
Jessie: No.
James: Are we there yet?
Jessie: No.
James: Are we-
Jessie: *WHACKS! Him with her mallet*
James: Owww… hey look, it's the twerps!
Jessie: Huh? *Sees Ash and Tracey running in there direction with Misty trailing them* Then they'd better… PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!
James: And make it double!
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
*The twerp trio stops in front of them and starts giggling*
James: To unite- hey, quit it!
Ash, Tracey and Misty: *burst into uncontrollable laughter* HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jessie: Hey! What's so funny?
Ash: *trying to surpress laughter* Oh, it's *giggle* nothing! It's just that… that… HAHAHA!!
Misty: *between giggles* Have you two, heh heh, looked on the internet lately?
Jessie: Oh God, TELL me you guys aren't talking about what I THINK you're talking about!
Misty: You mean that website with all those pictures of you and James… *giggles* doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel?
Jessie and James: *fall over anime style*
Tracey: Oh oh oh! What about that one pic where Meowth is getting in on the action?
James: *covering his ears* LA LA LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Ash: Or that one where James is upside down and Jessie is-
Jessie: *cheeks turning as red as her hair* ALRIGHT, we get the point already! Ugh! Hey, wait a minute, what are you kids doing looking at that stuff anyway?
Tracey: I WAS NOT JACKING OFF TO PICTURES OF JAMES!
James: *pause* Uh, we never said you were.
Tracey: Oh… excuse me just a moment. *runs away*
James: *shudders* Oh great, now I'm screwed up for life.
Jessie: What, and you weren't before?
Ash: Hey Jessie, I'm picturing those images of you in my mind right now! *winks*
Jessie: Why you little…! *whacks him with her fan, then with her mallet, then with Arbok!*
Ash: Oh, so you like it rough do you? Heh heh heh!
Jessie: *takes a step back* You little pervert! Kids your age aren't even supposed to have hormones!
Misty: Actually, if you look on the internet there's tonnes of fics revolving around me and Ash getting it on.
Ash: That's right! We may be only eight years old, but somehow I can manage an erection!
Jessie and James: EEEEEEEEW!!
James: Gross gross gross gross gross! Screw that stupid yellow rat, we're outta here! *He and Jessie speed past the two kids and continue on to their destination*
Five minutes later…
*bleep bleep! Bleep bleep!*
James: *Pulls out his mobile phone* Hello?
Giovanni: This is the Boss! Why am I still waiting on that Pikachu? How many times do you two have to screw up?!
James: *pause* Please Boss, don't mention screwing right now.
Jessie: Is that the Boss? Give me that! *snatches the mobile off James* Listen you try-hard pimp, we have a bone to pick with you! What do you know about a certain 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' website with hentai?!! And don't answer me in that damn annoying echoey voice, we all know you sound like Lucial Ball on helium!
Giovanni: Eeek! I mean, uh, this isn't the Boss, this is his receptionist! The Boss is on a three week vacation to Mars! Bye! *hangs up*
Jessie: *glares at the phone, then throws it into a nearby tree, smashing it to pieces*
James: Hey, that thing cost me fifty bucks!
Jessie: Oh it did not, you borrowed it off me and didn't return- aw man, I smashed my own phone! *bangs head repeatedly into the tree*
James: Hm… hey Jess, I think I've got an idea!
Jessie: *making cracks in the tree with her head* What?
James: Well, it'll take a lot of will power, not to mention a lot of stomach, but I think we can pull it off!
Jessie: Hm? *stops banging her head on the tree and walks over to James. Unfortunately, the cracks she made in the tree cause it to fall over, thankfully in the opposite direction to our beloved J & J… and on to Tracey*
Jessie: I killed Tracey! Yay!
James: Yay!
The cast: Yay!
The crew: Yay!
The audience: Yay!
The universe: Yay!
Tracey: *twitching under the tree* No wait, I'm still alive! Yay!
Everyone: Damn!
*Everyone grabs a dagger and stabs him repeatedly*
Everyone: Yay!
Tracey: Ack… don't worry… *cough, splutter* I'm still… alive!
Everyone else: Damn!
God: *sends down a lightning bolt and kills Tracey, and sends him straight to Hell*
Everyone: Yay!
Satan: Damn!
Jessie: ANYway, what's this plan of yours about James?
James: *whispering so that only Jessie can hear*
Jessie: Ok… I see… mmhmm… WHAT?!!
James: But think about it Jessie, it's the only way!
Jessie: Oh… grrr… alright.
Two days later…
Giovanni: *at his computer* Well, time to update my sick and twisted 'Team Rocket's Rockin'!' site again! *goes to the page, only to find...* WHAT THE…?!
Website now reads:
Greetings, Team Rocket fans! Thanks to a certain friend of ours, let's just call him Nondo, we have hacked into this site and re-arranged it to preserve Jessie and James's dignity! But don't worry, there are still plenty of things to do and see here, so come and take a look around at the new and improved 'Team Rocket's Rockin''!
Giovanni: *quickly checks out all the sections to assess the damage. Most of the good stuff about Jessie and James has been left, like the bios and pictures, but as for the hentai…* Ahhhh! It's all pictures of me and Persian!! *retches* Oh my God, grooooooss!!
Persian: Meow meow! (I don't know, Giovanni- I think it's kind of a turn on!)
Giovanni: Ahhhh!! *jumps out a window*
Meanwhile, in the computer lab in Team Rocket HQ…
Jessie: *sitting in front of a computer with James and Mondo* And that is that!
James: *sighs in relief* I'm glad that's over! Thanks for helping us hack into that awful site, Mondo!
Mondo: *sounding disappointed* Sure, whatever. *sigh*
Jessie: Hey, I'm feeling kind of peckish. What's say we go out and celebrate at an all-you-can-eat buffet?
James: Wow, great idea! You coming Mondo?
Mondo: Nah, I think I'll just hang around here for a while.
Jessie: Suit yourself.
*Jessie and James leave.*
Mondo: *sigh* I'm gonna miss that website. I wonder if it even comes up on the search engine anymore. *Types 'Team Rocket hentai' into the Yahoo! Search engine. There's no 'Team Rocket's Rockin!', but…*
Mondo: 1027 matches?!! Oh baby! *cracks open the champagne*
Later that week, Mondo was found unconscious in front of the computer by a couple of employees. Doctors say that it was due to servere exposure to hentai, a deseise which has claimed many horny victims around the globe. Ash and Misty were both found dead. Autopsies found that the two children's hormone levels were so high for such a young age, they exploded. Brock now spends his days in Heaven, surrounded by scantly clad Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys (the dirty bastard!). Giovanni went to Hell after he killed himself, and now he and Tracey swap and discuss Rocket Hentai all day. Now that Meowth is in the mental institution, he spends all his days dosed up on morphine and talking to the walls about people who never existed. Jessie and James decided to get married after each secretly found the Rocket hentai arousing, much to the delight of Rocketshippers around the globe. Unfortunately for them, they were so- er- in the spirit of things that Jessie has now just given birth to their six hundredth child. The moral? Maybe the 4Kids censor isn't so bad after all!
Author's note: To understand this, you NEED to read the first part- http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=400185
Oh yeah, and I still don't own Pokemon.
Luv, Friezaess.
Narrator: When we last left our heroes, or rather our villains, they had stumbled upon a website that contains... things that the 4Kids censor won't allow!
4Kids: Guns, James in a women's body suit, someone mentioning the word butt and… HENTAI?!! What kind of sick twisted people in Japan created this show anyway?
FUNimation: Hello, we're FUNimation! We mutilated- uh, I mean dubbed DragonBall Z. We've come to help you in your time of need!
4Kids: What experience do you have?
FUNimation: Basically, it's our job to screw up even the best of anime. We gave a powerful tyrant a girly voice, got rid of most of the blood in the battles thus ruining the mood completely, dumbed down the dialogue so that two year olds could watch it, and basically turned a great, action packed anime series into a little kids show!
4Kids: Wow, good job! You're in!
Friezaess: Screw up DBZ, will you? Leave out the part in 'Holy Matrimony!' where James says 'But I'd rather be with you forever' to Jessie, huh? Oh, I've wanted to do this for a loooong time! *pulls out her trusty machine gun and annihilates 4Kids and FUNimation, the two spawns of Satan.* Mwahaha! Now, on with the show!
Jessie: Alright, I don't care if it's the Boss who created that site, heck I don't care if it was in our contracts, we've got to get it off the net! James, e-mail him telling him we won't take it!
James: B-but Jess, you smashed the computer!
Jessie: Grrr… fine. We'll just have to go see him in person.
James: WHAT?! But this is the Boss we're talking about, we can't-
Jessie: There's free donuts in his office. *James dashes past her in a blue and white blur*
James: C'mon, hurry up, we gotta go talk to the donut! I mean the Boss!
Jessie: Wait up, I'm coming, I'm coming!
Elsewhere, walking through the same forest Team Rocket are in…
Ash: What's that?
Pokedex: Rock- a geological creation of nature.
Ash: Geo-ma-logi-gol? Wow! I'm gonna capture it!
Misty: Ash you idiot! It's just a-
Tracey: Shhh, Misty, you'll scare it! I'm gonna sketch it!
Misty: Where did you come from? In the first part of this godforsaken fic Brock was with us, not you!
Tracey: I stabbed him in the brain with my pencil, heh heh heh.
Togepi: Togi togi! (And I slit his throat! Hahahaha!)
Ash: Pokeball, go! *Throws pokeball at the rock. But seeing that only Pokemon can go into pokeballs, the capturing device simply bounces off* Oh, it's good! I'm going to have to weaken it first. Pikachu, thundershock!
Pikachu: Pika pi pi chu! (God this guy is a wanker. Oh well, if it'll shut him up…) PikaCHUUUUUU!! *Thundershocks the rock, but it has no affect considering that rocks don't absorb electricity*
Tracey: Uh oh, it's looking mad! We've gotta get out of here or it'll attack us!
Ash: No no no, it's fine! Look I can even walk right up to it and pat it! *Does so, but some of the electricity from Pikachu's attack still lingers on the surface of the rock, and Ash gets a small shock* Ahh! It's on a rampage! Let's get out of here!
*Tracey and Ash run away screaming, with Misty trudging along behind*
Misty: Damn it, I knew I was better off as a hoe!
Meanwhile, walking in the opposite direction…
James: Are we there yet?
Jessie: No.
James: Are we there yet?
Jessie: No.
James: Are we there yet?
Jessie: No.
James: Are we-
Jessie: *WHACKS! Him with her mallet*
James: Owww… hey look, it's the twerps!
Jessie: Huh? *Sees Ash and Tracey running in there direction with Misty trailing them* Then they'd better… PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!
James: And make it double!
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
*The twerp trio stops in front of them and starts giggling*
James: To unite- hey, quit it!
Ash, Tracey and Misty: *burst into uncontrollable laughter* HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jessie: Hey! What's so funny?
Ash: *trying to surpress laughter* Oh, it's *giggle* nothing! It's just that… that… HAHAHA!!
Misty: *between giggles* Have you two, heh heh, looked on the internet lately?
Jessie: Oh God, TELL me you guys aren't talking about what I THINK you're talking about!
Misty: You mean that website with all those pictures of you and James… *giggles* doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel?
Jessie and James: *fall over anime style*
Tracey: Oh oh oh! What about that one pic where Meowth is getting in on the action?
James: *covering his ears* LA LA LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Ash: Or that one where James is upside down and Jessie is-
Jessie: *cheeks turning as red as her hair* ALRIGHT, we get the point already! Ugh! Hey, wait a minute, what are you kids doing looking at that stuff anyway?
Tracey: I WAS NOT JACKING OFF TO PICTURES OF JAMES!
James: *pause* Uh, we never said you were.
Tracey: Oh… excuse me just a moment. *runs away*
James: *shudders* Oh great, now I'm screwed up for life.
Jessie: What, and you weren't before?
Ash: Hey Jessie, I'm picturing those images of you in my mind right now! *winks*
Jessie: Why you little…! *whacks him with her fan, then with her mallet, then with Arbok!*
Ash: Oh, so you like it rough do you? Heh heh heh!
Jessie: *takes a step back* You little pervert! Kids your age aren't even supposed to have hormones!
Misty: Actually, if you look on the internet there's tonnes of fics revolving around me and Ash getting it on.
Ash: That's right! We may be only eight years old, but somehow I can manage an erection!
Jessie and James: EEEEEEEEW!!
James: Gross gross gross gross gross! Screw that stupid yellow rat, we're outta here! *He and Jessie speed past the two kids and continue on to their destination*
Five minutes later…
*bleep bleep! Bleep bleep!*
James: *Pulls out his mobile phone* Hello?
Giovanni: This is the Boss! Why am I still waiting on that Pikachu? How many times do you two have to screw up?!
James: *pause* Please Boss, don't mention screwing right now.
Jessie: Is that the Boss? Give me that! *snatches the mobile off James* Listen you try-hard pimp, we have a bone to pick with you! What do you know about a certain 'Team Rocket's Rockin'' website with hentai?!! And don't answer me in that damn annoying echoey voice, we all know you sound like Lucial Ball on helium!
Giovanni: Eeek! I mean, uh, this isn't the Boss, this is his receptionist! The Boss is on a three week vacation to Mars! Bye! *hangs up*
Jessie: *glares at the phone, then throws it into a nearby tree, smashing it to pieces*
James: Hey, that thing cost me fifty bucks!
Jessie: Oh it did not, you borrowed it off me and didn't return- aw man, I smashed my own phone! *bangs head repeatedly into the tree*
James: Hm… hey Jess, I think I've got an idea!
Jessie: *making cracks in the tree with her head* What?
James: Well, it'll take a lot of will power, not to mention a lot of stomach, but I think we can pull it off!
Jessie: Hm? *stops banging her head on the tree and walks over to James. Unfortunately, the cracks she made in the tree cause it to fall over, thankfully in the opposite direction to our beloved J & J… and on to Tracey*
Jessie: I killed Tracey! Yay!
James: Yay!
The cast: Yay!
The crew: Yay!
The audience: Yay!
The universe: Yay!
Tracey: *twitching under the tree* No wait, I'm still alive! Yay!
Everyone: Damn!
*Everyone grabs a dagger and stabs him repeatedly*
Everyone: Yay!
Tracey: Ack… don't worry… *cough, splutter* I'm still… alive!
Everyone else: Damn!
God: *sends down a lightning bolt and kills Tracey, and sends him straight to Hell*
Everyone: Yay!
Satan: Damn!
Jessie: ANYway, what's this plan of yours about James?
James: *whispering so that only Jessie can hear*
Jessie: Ok… I see… mmhmm… WHAT?!!
James: But think about it Jessie, it's the only way!
Jessie: Oh… grrr… alright.
Two days later…
Giovanni: *at his computer* Well, time to update my sick and twisted 'Team Rocket's Rockin'!' site again! *goes to the page, only to find...* WHAT THE…?!
Website now reads:
Greetings, Team Rocket fans! Thanks to a certain friend of ours, let's just call him Nondo, we have hacked into this site and re-arranged it to preserve Jessie and James's dignity! But don't worry, there are still plenty of things to do and see here, so come and take a look around at the new and improved 'Team Rocket's Rockin''!
Giovanni: *quickly checks out all the sections to assess the damage. Most of the good stuff about Jessie and James has been left, like the bios and pictures, but as for the hentai…* Ahhhh! It's all pictures of me and Persian!! *retches* Oh my God, grooooooss!!
Persian: Meow meow! (I don't know, Giovanni- I think it's kind of a turn on!)
Giovanni: Ahhhh!! *jumps out a window*
Meanwhile, in the computer lab in Team Rocket HQ…
Jessie: *sitting in front of a computer with James and Mondo* And that is that!
James: *sighs in relief* I'm glad that's over! Thanks for helping us hack into that awful site, Mondo!
Mondo: *sounding disappointed* Sure, whatever. *sigh*
Jessie: Hey, I'm feeling kind of peckish. What's say we go out and celebrate at an all-you-can-eat buffet?
James: Wow, great idea! You coming Mondo?
Mondo: Nah, I think I'll just hang around here for a while.
Jessie: Suit yourself.
*Jessie and James leave.*
Mondo: *sigh* I'm gonna miss that website. I wonder if it even comes up on the search engine anymore. *Types 'Team Rocket hentai' into the Yahoo! Search engine. There's no 'Team Rocket's Rockin!', but…*
Mondo: 1027 matches?!! Oh baby! *cracks open the champagne*
Later that week, Mondo was found unconscious in front of the computer by a couple of employees. Doctors say that it was due to servere exposure to hentai, a deseise which has claimed many horny victims around the globe. Ash and Misty were both found dead. Autopsies found that the two children's hormone levels were so high for such a young age, they exploded. Brock now spends his days in Heaven, surrounded by scantly clad Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys (the dirty bastard!). Giovanni went to Hell after he killed himself, and now he and Tracey swap and discuss Rocket Hentai all day. Now that Meowth is in the mental institution, he spends all his days dosed up on morphine and talking to the walls about people who never existed. Jessie and James decided to get married after each secretly found the Rocket hentai arousing, much to the delight of Rocketshippers around the globe. Unfortunately for them, they were so- er- in the spirit of things that Jessie has now just given birth to their six hundredth child. The moral? Maybe the 4Kids censor isn't so bad after all!