"Well," Tifa sighed, looking down, happiness shining in her tired eyes as she set the final crate on the raft with eight others. A sense of completion welled up within her - as well as one of finality and dread, which she pushed away without hesitation - as she waded into the shallows of the lake, stopping briefly to haul herself onto slightly unstable craft. She began rowing when Cloud called after her.
"How are you coming with that materia, Tifa? Need any help?" Cloud's voice rang and echoed in the quiet, cavernous room.
Tifa wiped her brow and smiled inwardly as she shouted back her reply, "Yeah, almost!" She resumed pushing the barge full of crates of materia to the middle of the lake and she could hear heavy footsteps descending the stairs to the shore of the lake.
"Wait! I've got more!" Cloud was stumbling down the stairs with a much larger crate, and in his haste to catch her, tripped at the foot of the stairwell, sending his cargo skittering and clattering everywhere.
She looked at him in amusement. "Are you sure you want to bury this stuff? We might need it someday. I mean, mastered materia is worth quite a bit of gil and there are still monsters out there. I'd feel safer if our weapons stayed dry."
"I know that, and I've given it a lot of thought," he replied calmly, stooping to pick up the scattered weapons and his bruised ego. Placing his Ultima Sword beside Heaven's Cloud and Organics and Tifa's Premium Heart, he came across her Princess Guard, the materia still glittering coldly in the slots. Her memory so often pervaded his thoughts. Hers was an innocent life, so beautiful and pure in it's honest simplicity, and loving almost to a fault. And he'd tried to kill her. No matter how many years would pass that would erode the guilt, he could never forgive himself.
He remembered looking up to see the Masamune, the cold, ruthless blade glittering in the sunlight, descending like a soul cast down from Heaven and claim her beautiful life. Hah, Cloud laughed mirthlessly to himself. Masamune? Valkyrie's more like it. And Sephiroth... he who possessed the accursed "Valkyrie," he was the one who had guided the evil, gleaming blade through the innocent chest as it rose and fell with slow, calm breaths.
The look of surprise on her face at the sudden intrusion of pain would be forever etched into his mind.
"Cloud?" Tifa asked, curious as to what he was so engrossed in. She began rowing back to the shore when he turned around, gripping the staff tightly. "Hmm? What is it, Aeris?"
Tifa stopped, letting the raft bump harshly against the shore. Aeris...
She had, just a moment before, been entertaining thoughts of a romantic dinner that she would prepare for him that evening. She'd waited long enough. Tonight was the night that she'd finally tell him how she felt. She was tired of waiting and wondering and hoping and praying that he had secretly been returning the love that she wished at him so adamantly every day. Every morning she awoke and, with eyes shut tight, prayed that today would be the day that he proclaimed his love for her. She'd constructed a careful dream house of delicate crystal in her imagination, with a stable in the back and children playing in the front yard with curtains shielding the inside from prying eyes and Cloud standing proudly by her side. But finally she realized that maybe he shared her same fears of not being loved in return. Maybe he really did love her. Maybe if she confided her feelings, he would admit so also. Maybe...
If he could ever get over the fact that Aeris was gone. Forever...
But her dream house came crashing down around her, the crystalline shards cutting and stabbing her and she cried aloud from the pain of her heart breaking within her.
"What's wrong? Is there something behind me?" He turned, body already tensed for a battle, to see what could have spooked her so thoroughly.
She started at a walk, her pace getting faster and faster until she was in an all out run. She pushed past him and stumbled up the stairs, tears threatening to spill over. Don't let him see you cry, Lockheart, she berated herself. She stumbled at the crossroads that led to the Capital and the city. She knelt, defeated, on bruised knees and with a broken heart, wept for the broken wings her heart bore and her friend whose name he so often cried out in fitful nightmares and for Cloud himself. Above all, she wept for herself. She knew it had been coming, slowly but surely, like and awful wave of demons ripping and tearing at her dreams.
Cold determination shone in her intense eyes and the eternal love she bore for him desperately trying to mend her heart before it shared the same fate as Usher and collapsed in upon itself. But the gossamer thread of her grief, like spiders' delicate silk, pulled however taught across the grieving crevice of her broken heart failed under the weight of her sadness. She violently shook the tears from her eyes. She'd made up her mind. Everything was clear. Crystal clear. As crystal as the water they'd laid her to rest in for eternity.
With newfound strength she stood, suddenly calm and peaceful, as if Death had come to claim her. She made a slow, solemn procession toward the house they were using as their temporary home and research center. She knew where she was going and exactly how she was going to get there.
"Tifa!"
She continued, as if possessed by some unknown, but that crystal clarity she'd felt began dimming and hazing over with fresh tears and doubt, yet she kept on. She faltered when he stood in her path and took her hands in his. He gazed into her warm, gentle chocolate eyes and searched her heart with his own mako eyes. She returned his questioning gaze with a startled look, as if he'd awakened her from a peaceful, pall-like slumber.
"Tifa, what's wrong? Where are you going?"
She suddenly burst into tears and, crying out in a strangled voice, pushed Cloud away. Covering her face with shaking hands, she turned away from him and ran. He followed her to their house, desperately trying to illicit a response. She madly packed bags, stuffing whatever she could grasp into saddlebags and backpacks while a breathless Cloud stood nearby, helpless.
Finally, she looked up into his eyes, her own wide with tears shining in the corners. She looked scared and broken and his heart broke as he realized what he'd done. He thought about Aeris so often, and he'd occasionally catch himself before a slip of tongue. It was inevitable, though. "Oh, God, Tifa...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean-"
"Stop it!" she cried, turning away from him again.
"What?" He was confused. He'd apologized, but she still wasn't happy? What did she want from him? It was an honest mistake...
"I'm leaving," she stated shakily. She began gathering her belongings as he came up behind her and pulled her into a backward hug so that his arms were around her waist, but she was thrown off balance and fell backward, landing on top of Cloud as they both hit the floor. He began laughing nervously and looked up into her face, only to be met with her stone-cold gaze. She stood.
"You're still not over Aeris..." she whispered. "She's gone, Cloud. What can I do to make you accept that?"
Cloud stood, but remained speechless. He was desperately searching his heart for something - anything - to say, but found only lame excuses.
After a long silence, she gave a rueful laugh and continued. "I'm going to leave...maybe go back to Nibelheim for a while," she laughed again and unconsciously placed a hand over her chest, which had begun to ache. "And yes, I know that Nibelheim is just a shadow of what it used to be. Imagine... going back there again! Going back to a bunch of ex-ShinRa actors..." Another excruciatingly painful silence.
Silent tears began to rain down from her downcast eyes as her fingers mindlessly clutched at her shirt, spurred by the dull, growing ache that resided there. Doubts began flooding her mind and she contemplated running to him and throwing her arms around his neck, apologizing profusely all the while. Only when the silence became overwhelming did she dismiss the idea - reluctantly.
"Maybe we'll meet again someday, Cloud." She said, sounding a bit more hopeful than she'd wished. She paused to looked up, then began walking toward the door. She stopped in the doorway, turned, and choking back a sob, said, "Good-bye's...are so hard..." He blinked as she faded into the brilliant sunlight flooding through the open doorway and when opened his eyes again, there was nothing but the heavy black clouds drowning out the sunlight that was just there. His sunlight was gone and there was no one to blame but himself and his troubled heart.
End of Chapter 1