I Dreamed of Angels
Part Two H
The weeks that followed proved to be some
of the best times of Trowa's life. People noticed that he smiled more. He would
occasionally engage in small conversations that completely amazed all that knew
him well. His sisters, in fact, would notice that instead of hiding in his
corner, he would now participate in the redecoration of his own room. Although
still reluctant to have a circus themed room, he would willingly indulge his
sisters' obsessions.
There was, however, something peculiar
about him that everyone noticed. True, they did enjoy the more open side of
Trowa, but they did feel disturbed about his recent behavior.
Often, they would find him sitting under
the shade of a tree, talking to the wind, the air, or some inanimate object
within his voice range. During performances, he also seemed to be in
conversation with an imaginary friend. Talking to the lions was already strange
enough, but this new act of talking to himself was even more unusual.
Strange as it seemed, nobody minded this
behavior. It didn't look healthy but it proved to be more effective than the most
advanced medications available.
Years passed and soon, Trowa was an old
man. Nightly performances were no longer a part of his schedule. Nonetheless,
he still involved himself in the many activities of the circus. He taught all
the newcomers, took care of the animals, organized groups while also attending
to his immense wealth.
He was a constant visitor to numerous
orphanages and had been known to donate large sums. Everyone adored him and
praised him for living such an accomplished life. All this time he had
fulfilled his life's dreams with his angel by his side.
One day, while walking on the shoreline in
the early morning, he reluctantly told his angel something that had been
bothering him for years.
"My only regret is that I never had you as
my own."
The angel beside him turned to regard him,
quite puzzled by the remark. His questioning eyes were still beautiful against
his mysterious form.
"What do you mean?" he asked with the same
sweet voice that had soothed Trowa for years.
"What I mean is ...." Trowa paused to
thoroughly think about what he had to say.
"You're an angel and I'm human. As much as
I've wanted to, I can't have you completely for myself."
"I *am* yours, Trowa. I'm your guardian,
remember?"
"Is that all you'll ever be?"
Quatre was stunned with the question. He
seriously did not understand where this was going.
He tried to find the meaning behind Trowa's
words and when he did, sadness filled his entire being. Trowa loved him just as
he loved Trowa. Their situation was so complicated and seemingly hopeless.
"Look at us right now."
Trowa interrupted Quatre's thoughts.
"We will never grow old together. We may
share each other's company, but I ..."
He didn't know how to put his feelings into
words.
"I love what we have right now. I'm not
complaining, but I feel that this ..." He moved his hands to indicate their
condition. "... isn't complete. I just wonder how it would have been if it had
happened differently."
Quatre hovered over to face Trowa. He
looked at him intently, leaned over, closed his eyes, and delivered a gentle
kiss.
"Maybe in a different lifetime." he said
and then repeated in a hushed tone. "... Maybe in a different lifetime."
He went back to his position beside Trowa
and tried to change the mood of the atmosphere.
"So, if you were given the chance to live
differently, what would you change?"
"Probably my eccentric behavior."
"Trowa, you're not weird, just unique in
your own way."
"People say that I'm too quiet."
"True, but everyone has a reason for acting
the way they do."
Trowa looked at Quatre with the intention
of asking the same question.
"What would *you* change?"
"Umm, I ... don't know. I'm not really
sure. Maybe..."
"You're perfect the way you are."
The sudden interruption caught Quatre off
guard. He blushed furiously while Trowa regarded him, unwavering. Trowa was
amused that after all this time, Quatre was still not used to his use of
unending stream of compliments. Perhaps it was something he picked up from his
sisters. Nevertheless, he loved using it if only to watch his angel turn lovely
shades of pink.
Noticing that Quatre felt awkward, he
decided voice out his mind's many scenarios.
"Maybe I should be an evil pawn of darkness
and you, an angel. We'll meet each other and you'll turn my life around. We'll
fall in love all over again."
"That would be nice, but it would pose a
problem since the world is huge. You can't be sure that we would actually meet
each other." Quatre said in response.
Trowa took his angel's hand and simply said "I'll find you."