Disclaimer: I don't own them except for the kids!
Changing Seasons, Part 7b
Once at home, Hilde saw Randy to bed. Jonathon and David had taken a walk out along cliff. She found Duo, standing on the deck, staring out into the darkness. She watched him tap his one hand on the railing, the dim light from the family room, reflecting off of his wedding band. She could also see him drinking a beer. "Duo?"
Duo turned and glanced back at his wife. Her milky skin, glowing softly in the pale moonlight. He smiled ruefully, but turned to look out into the night again. He could barely make out the forms of his two sons as they walked along the edge of the cliff. He bent his head a little. There was nothing he could do for Randy and it killed him that he couldn't. He sighed and took another sip of the beer.
"Are you all right Duo?" Hilde asked tentatively as she walked closer to him. She slipped her arms about his waist and her cheek against the middle of his back.
He smiled again at her question. He put the bottle down and rubbed his hand over hers, tracing his finger over the platinum wedding band and her anniversary band. "I've felt better," he replied, raising her ring finger to his lips and kissing it.
"I know you're not ok. You still avoid telling me what's wrong because you're afraid it might upset me. What are you thinking about love?" Hilde asked, her voice filled with concern.
Duo sighed, squeezing her hands between his. "Just about Randy. Donavon. Miles. Megan. This is one hell of a mess. Donavon loves Randy, Randy loves Miles, Megan probably loves Miles, and Miles isn't sure whom he loves. And our daughter is hurting so much, I just don't know what to do."
"I know how you feel, but with love, comes hurt. We've all experienced that," she replied as she moved between him and the railing. She looked up into his face. "It's a risk that we all take."
"I know, but I was so hoping that Randy would never have to go through that. You know how much I wanted to kill Miles on the spot, but I didn't. I don't know how I managed to restrain myself."
"Your reaction is normal Duo. No one wants their children hurt by someone else."
He bowed his head over hers until his forehead touched the crown of her hair. He rubbed his hands up and down her back. "I feel like this is partially my fault."
"Why?" Hilde asked, puzzled as she leaned away a little to look into his eyes.
"Because I let her date Miles, against my better judgment. He was just too…"
"Too what?"
"Too much like me," he said despairingly.
"Oh Duo, don't say that," she chided gently.
"But it's true, isn't it?" Duo asked as he pulled away from her, turning his back. "I was so much like that. And it's painful to watch the image of yourself with your own daughter."
Hilde felt the aching pain, radiating off of him. She closed her eyes briefly, knowing how guilty he felt. "Please don't say that," she said pleadingly.
He turned around and dropped to his knees in front of her, his arms wrapping about her hips. "But it's true. God Hilde, I treated you the same way for almost two years. I ran around with anything in a skirt that was willing enough. Why did you choose me?"
She stroked his head; his voice was slightly muffled by her shirt. "I chose you because I loved you, that's why. There is no other reason. You never cheated on me once you were with me."
"I wanted better for Randy. I didn't want her to fall for someone that couldn't be faithful to her when he had the history of being that way. And I let her. I let her have her way because I didn't want her to be unhappy. And look what happened to her. I'm partially to blame."
"Stop that right now, Duo Maxwell. Don't say that you're to blame. You're not. There was no one hundred percent way that you would know that Miles would cheat on Randy. And it's because you love her so much, you would rather die then see her unhappy. You have spoiled her Duo. She doesn't expect no to come from you."
"I should have. I spoiled her. I admit that."
"Tell me Duo, why do you spoil her?"
"Because she's my only daughter. My baby."
"There is more to that Duo even though you would never voice it."
He stiffened slightly.
"I know it's because the possibility of losing her and me when she was born. You let your guilt get the better of you again. Don't do that! Some things happen because they're meant to. You carry around so much guilt Duo and it hurts me because I'm part of the reason you've felt that way. And this time is no different. Like I said before, love hurts sometimes. And yes, it might suck, but it always does come out right in the end. I love you more then anything, even though seeing you with other girls hurt, but I kept on loving you, no matter what. And it paid off in the end. I got you and you loved me," Hilde said in a tearful voice.
Duo squeezed her tight, burying his face in the soft folds of her cotton blouse. He could feel her hands lightly touching his hair in a consoling manner. His eyes felt hot for a moment. He pulled her down into his arms. "I know, I know, but it's so hard not to. I don't deserve you. I know I don't. But I'm so glad that you chose to love me," he said against her neck.
Hilde wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheek against his hair. "And I'm glad that you love me. You've given me four wonderful children and a very happy marriage. There is nothing more that I could possibly want. But you have to stop these guilt trips that you put on yourself. You're not always to blame for what goes wrong in any one of our children's relationships."
"Didn't you every hear that the sins of the father are visited on his children?" he asked softly.
She sighed once again. "Will you stop that! Your sins are not being visited on our children! I hate it when you start talking like this! Look at me," she commanded gently as she leaned away from him. She looked up into his face. "What hurts me, is the way you go off putting guilt trips on yourself whenever something goes wrong like this. And I really wish you wouldn't."
Duo looked into his wife's eyes. "I'm sorry that this hurts you when I'm like this. I just…"
"Shh…No more," Hilde said as she pulled him close again.
He breathed in the vanilla scent of her skin, trying to gain control of his guilt. He tightened his hold on her. With her, he was never too proud to admit his faults and he knew he had many. There was still a part of him; a dark part of him, deep inside that he kept hidden and was only manifested itself when he was emotionally upset. All his guilt for anything that he had done would visit and sometimes it was hard to shake off. His four children were all different, yet they were all very much like him. And all their relationships were odd. Chris and Victoria would argue constantly, but yet, they loved each other more then anything; Jonathon and Leigh would yell and scream at each other, but every time they broke up, they couldn't stand being apart; David and Kellie were the normal couple, they were connected at the hip; and Randy and Miles didn't spend that much time together and yet they had found time for each other. But the time they had spent apart was too great and even if they hadn't noticed the little cracks appearing in their relationship, he did.
She rubbed her hands over the cotton material of his shirt. She could feel his unsteady breathing against her neck. "She'll bounce back from this," she said faintly after a few minutes of silence.
"I certainly hope so. I don't want to see her like this," Duo whispered as he leaned back and brushed a lock of hair away from her face. Those eyes of hers could still make him feel that everything was going to be all right.
"I love you Duo, more then anything," Hilde murmured, pressing her nose against his.
"I love you more then anything as well babe," he said as he rubbed his nose against hers.
They held onto each other like that for a long time.
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Jonathon and David walked in silence along the cliff. Jonathon stopped and glanced down over the edge at the water below.
David halted as well. He glanced up at his brother. "Did you know about any of this?"
"No, I didn't know," Jonathon replied as he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets.
"He's your best friend," David said pointedly.
"Well that doesn't mean I would automatically know!" Jonathon retorted as he turned to look at his brother. "I had no idea about anything!"
"Well you two were the ones that brought Megan home!" David hissed.
"I didn't ask her! He did!" Jonathon snapped.
"Oh so that was how it was," David said in a calmer tone.
"Yes! That is how it was!"
"How friendly were they at school?"
"Just friendly. She lived in the apartment next door. She would come and cook for us every once in a while. She had some of the same classes as him and me."
"Did she ever show partiality to either one of you?"
"Not really. She knew that we both had girlfriends," Jonathon said, shrugging his shoulders.
"It seems a little odd that as soon as she came here, she went after Miles. I wonder why?" David mused as he tapped his chin with his finger thoughtfully.
"Well she was spending a lot of time with him here. I had to work at the mill a lot of the time, so I couldn't show her around too much."
"And Leigh. She would've had a fit if you spent more time showing Megan around."
"But Randy even encouraged Miles to show her around," Jonathon said as he kicked a small rock off the edge of the cliff.
"Well apparently she didn't expect Miles and Megan to get that close. I mean he was too afraid of dad half the time to hurt Randy in any way."
"And she never showed that she minded too much, except for the occasional dirty look in Miles's direction that past week and a half."
"Look at it this way, Randy has never dated before. Miles has been her only boyfriend since she was sixteen. She probably trusted him not to cheat on her."
"I just don't get it. They looked fine to me. There was no indication that there were any problems," Jonathon said as he finally plopped down on the hard ground. He looked up at the starry sky.
"Well there wasn't anything that our sister didn't give him. She would do anything for Miles," David said, sitting down next to him.
"That's very true. She gave him everything…" Jonathon started to say, then stopped.
"What?" David asked curiously.
"What's the one thing that our sister hasn't given him?"
David looked hard at his brother. His blue-violet eyes widened. "You mean…"
"Sex. The one thing she hasn't given him. Her virginity," Jonathon finished grimly.
David snorted. "He knew about her chastity ring, didn't he?"
"Yeah, he knew. Well at first they couldn't any way. She was underage, but she's not anymore. But she's stuck to her vow not to have sex until marriage and he understood that. But the last time he's actually had sex, would be more then three years ago."
"That's no excuse for him to cheat."
"I'm not saying it is. It's not. I would have thought if he really loved her, he would wait. He said he would wait. We all have heard him say it."
"Yet Leigh saw him making out with Megan at the beach," David said.
"It only showed he wasn't willing to wait. I outta kill him," Jonathon growled.
"Wait in line. But Miles is being sent to L4 by Trowa, and dad even suggested that he leave so he doesn't kill him," David said dryly. "And Randy already broke his nose with that nice right cross."
It was Jonathon's turn to snort. "Good thing he is leaving then, he's on every Maxwell's hit list."
"Didn't Leigh tell you what she saw?"
"No, not until after the fight started. I don't know why she didn't. She should have told me instead of having the whole thing broadcast at dinner by Vaughn's big mouth."
"Can't entirely blame the empath, but you shouldn't be mad at her for not telling you," David said mildly.
"I'm not mad," Jonathon said testily.
A brow arched over David's right eye. "Oh no, could have fooled me."
"Will you stop, so I'm a little upset that she didn't tell me," Jonathon grumbled.
David sighed. "You always were the hothead."
"And you were always the brown noser," Jonathon shot back.
"Are we going to argue about each other's faults, instead of worrying about our little sister?"
Jonathon flopped back on the grass. "No. Randy is the one we should worry about. She's more important that us insulting each other."
David nodded his head in agreement and looked up into the midnight sky. "So you think she'll be ok?"
"I hope she will because if she doesn't bounce back from this, no distance will protect Miles from dad's wrath. He'll go to L4 and beat the shit out of him for messing with Randy."
"Let's hope that she does," David said softly as he looked back towards the house, at the darkened window of their sister.
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Randy lay, curled up on her bed in a little ball. She felt numb all over. A tear slid down her cheek onto the crisp white pillowcase. Her throat closed as she held back as many tears as she could. A little blood seeped through the bandages on her hands, from squeezing them tight. "Damn you to hell Mile Barton! I hate you and nothing will save you from my wrath," she sobbed angrily into the pillow. "Why did you have to do it?" Why?" she whispered brokenly as she cried into a restless sleep.
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Donavon hung his head between his hands as he sat on the edge of his bed. "I'm to blame for this. If only we hadn't gotten drunk, if only if I didn't kiss her, if only I could remember what we did. Randy, I'm so sorry." He glanced down at his hands and remembered her leaving with her hands wrapped. "Please forgive me." He turned his eyes in the direction of his brother's room. Hot anger swept through him. "And this is your fault as well. You helped make her hands bleed. And I'll never forgive you for hurting her. Ever." His gray-green eyes turned hard. "And I hope that nose of yours hurts like hell."
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A few doors down, Miles sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor. "My stupid libido. Duo wants to kill me, so do her brothers, and she broke my nose. All because I couldn't keep my hands off of Megan." He sighed and absently rubbed his nose. "Ouch, dammit that hurt!" he hissed as pain shot up his nose. The trip to the emergency room had been brief. He couldn't look his parents in the eye; his two sisters were turning their noses up at him. And Donavon. Donavon looked like he wanted to kill him. "And if Donavon hadn't gotten drunk with Randy, none of this would've ever happened. This is his fault too." His eyes turned a cold emerald green. "You ruined my relationship with Randy, Donavon. And I hope you rot in hell for it."