Strange Happenings

Disclaimer:  Most of these characters belong to Nintendo, unless they obviously don't, so Nintendo people, give me a break, okay?  Ever heard of the saying, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"…

Strange Happenings

In a deep forest lit only by a trio of torches, three dark figures could be seen surrounding a cauldron.

"Double, double, toil and trouble," they began to chant.

"No, no no!" interrupted a disembodied voice.  "That's not how it goes it all!"

Suddenly the creepy music stopped and the torches glowed much brighter.  Now it could be seen that the three dark figures were men dressed as witches.  "What do you mean?" asked one.

"You're reading the wrong script!" said the voice.  "That was MacBeth you were just doing!"

A second man pulled a white file folder from his robes, opened it, and scanned the contents.  "Whoops, you're right."  He threw the folder over his shoulder and took out another one.  The three men gathered around it.

"Yup, that's the right one," said the third man finally.  Suddenly the were no longer clad as witches, and now wore something more appropriate for the Ku Klux Klan.

"Should be black," said the voice.

The robes abruptly changed color.  "That good?" said the second man.

"I was thinking of something with more spikes, but I guess it'll do."

"All right, let's start over," said the first man.  The torches darkened again.

"No no no!" cried the voice.

"What now?" said the third man, irritated.

"You've already ruined the first bit," said the voice, sounding a bit disgruntled.  "Let's skip to the next scene."

It was raining in Manchester.  The two girls trudged down the sidewalk, holding their bookbags over their heads.  Finally, one said, "It sure is wet out here."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" said the other, hefting her bookbag a little higher.

"I was just trying to cheer you up," muttered the first.

The second sighed.  "Sorry, Cara.  I'm just in a bad mood right now."

"What happened?"

"Well, I'm in history class, minding my own business-"

"Writing me a note," translated Cara.

"Right, and out of nowhere comes my teacher.  She's like, "Save writing notes for lunch, Ashley," and takes the note away.  And the bell hadn't even rung yet!"

"Ugh," said Cara sympathetically.

"So now as a punishment I have to write a report, and it's due in two days."  She made a face.

"Well, at least it's not due tomorrow."

Ashley shook her head.  "It is, sort of.  I've got a choir concert tonight."

Cara gave another sympathetic groan, and added, "Your teacher must be a sadist."

Suddenly she felt her sneaker squish into mud.  "Ugh, my shoe..." She looked at the grass-covered hill they were now standing on.  "We must have walked off the path without noticing."

"But that doesn't make any sense."  Ashley was peering up the hill.  "This hill wasn't here yesterday.  And it's stopped raining, too."

"Thank goodness for that."

"But there's hardly any clouds in the sky!"  She gestured above them.

She received no reply.  "Cara?"  Ashley turned around.  "Cara, what's..."  She suddenly fell silent, learning why Cara was standing so awestruck next to her.

Gone were the aluminum-sided houses they had walked by moments before.  Gone was the neighborhood they had lived in for the past five years.  In its place was a wide field that seemingly went on forever, broken only by the occasional fence.  A little way off was a stone wall that got smaller as it ascended the hill.

"Well," said Cara quietly, "I guess you'll have time to finish that report now."

The same three men from before were sitting in a circle around a low table.  "Is this good?" said the first man to the air.

"Yes," said the voice impatiently.  "Get on with it."

"Has the incantation worked?" asked the second man.

"Yes, my lord," said the third.  "As foretold in the ancient scrolls, the two victims have been pulled from their world."

"Where are they now?" asked the second man.

"We don't know, lord," the first man stammered.  "Our oracles have seen it in the scrying glass."

The lord looked menacingly at the other two, which had them close to groveling at his feet in seconds.  "Then send a messenger out," he said.  "Command him to seek them out and bring them to me."

The other two stood up and bowed.  "Yes, lord Mikar," they said in unison, and dashed away.

"So what'd you find?"

"Not much.  Binder, soggy math book, five bucks in quarters, some notes you passed me in class, The Return of the King, some chapstick, A Tale of Two Cities for Lit class, keys.  Oh, and a coupla Band-Aids."

Cara and Ashley were sitting on the stone wall they had seen, which was sun-baked and warm after hours under the sun.  At the moment they were going through their soaked bookbags, seeing if they had anything useful in their possession that might help them in what obviously was a medieval time.

"Band-Aids might be useful," said Ashley.  "You must think ahead better than I do.  I got Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, keys, bubblegum, ten dollars, that watch that broke last summer, a sweater, a coupla papers from last semester, and- oh!  a major find..."  She dug through her bag and pulled something out that was tangled in yarn.  "CD player," she said, waving in front of Cara's face.

She grabbed it out of Ashley's hands.  "Ooh, glad you had this," she said.  "Hope you've got good batteries.  Got any CD's to go with it?"

"Lots.  BBMak, Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox 20, Metallica-"

"Metallica?"

"Must be one of Danny's.  Red Hot Chili Peppers, Third Eye Blind, Vitamin C, Vertical Horizon, and the X-Files soundtrack."

"And those are in alphabetical order?"

"Yup."

"Geez."

"Excuse me," said a voice behind them, "but...you're dressed strangely and I can't quite understand your language..are you new to this country?"

They turned around.  Before them was a young man with blonde hair and electric blue eyes.  He was wearing a simple green tunic and sturdy brown boots.  He was sitting on a beautiful stallion, and Ashley couldn't help but wonder how he had snuck up on them without them hearing.

"Um...yeah, I guess you could say we're from another country," Cara said, blushing.  "Technically."

"In a matter of speaking," added Ashley, grinning.  "In a way.  To coin a-"

The man did not catch the look Cara shot Ashley that clearly said shut up.  "What country are you from, then?" he asked.

"It's a place called...America," said Ashley hesitantly.

The young man seemed to be racking his brains.  Finally he shook his head.  "I'm sorry, but I've never heard of this...America.  How far away is it?"

"Pretty far away, I'd say," answered Cara slowly.  Maybe a thousand years and another universe away, she added mentally.

"But at the moment we seem to be a bit lost," said Ashley, slipping into what she called her 'olde-fashioned talke'.  "Do you think you might be able to show us to the nearest town?"

"Sure!"  He vaulted off his horse.  "You can ride on Epona here.  Don't worry, she won't hurt you unless I tell her to."  He grinned.

Cara hurriedly stuffed her things back into her bookbag.  "No thanks, we'll walk," she said, smiling shly back at him.

"I'll ride if you'd rather walk with your sweetie over there," muttered Ashley, but was silenced when she was jabbed in the stomach by an elbow.

"You sure?" said the man.  "It's a long walk to Hyrule Castle Town."

"Certain," said Cara.  "I couldn't possibly ride while you have to walk."

He laughed.  "You needn't worry about that, I've had my share of long walks.  But if you're all so dead set on it, sure, we can all walk."  He took their bags and tied them to Epona's back, who was clearly not happy about being a pack-horse.  "But don't say I didn't warn you when they raise the drawbridge before we get there.  We might have to camp out."

"Cool!" said Ashley.  "I haven't been camping for ages!"

The man started walking, whistling for Epona to follow.  "Yes, it'll be cool; autumn isn't far off.  You may find, though, that Hylian nights are more harsh than in America."

Ashley and Cara started walking too.  After a brief silence, Cara suddenly exclaimed, "Geez, where's my brain today?  We forgot to tell you our names!  I'm Cara and this is Ashley."

"I'm Link," he said, turning and grinning.

The third man that was dressed in black hurried into the room where Lord Mikar sat, legs crossed and arms at his sides.  He waited anxiously for his lord to rise from his meditation.

Mikar spoke without opening his eyes.  "I have told you not to interrupt my meditation."

The man fidgeted anxiously.  "It is urgent, my lord.  The victims have been joined by that fool, Link."

He covered his face with his hands, as if expecting a blow (which was not completely irrational, given Mikar's temper), but it did not come.  Mikar merely opened his eyes and turned his steely gaze on the man.  "Has the messenger left?"

"Riding like the wind even as we speak, lord."

"Good," said Mikar.  "And if the messenger fails, Jaro, you will be held responsible.

Jaro bowed nervously and left.

After travelling for a while at a leisurely pace, Link seemed to remember something and hurried them on.  An hour or two later, the sun was just dipping below the horizon, and Cara was feeling as if her feet were about to fall off.

Link stopped suddenly.  He looked into the distance and leaned forward, as if he had heard something.  Finally he stopped squinting and muttered an oath.  Then he suddenly blushed furiously.  "Sorry."

"That's okay," said Ashley.  "I've heard plenty more where that came from."

She opened her mouth, but Link put up his hand.  "No, really, I...don't need a demonstration," he said awkwardly.  He sighed.  "I guess we'll have to stop here for the night.  They just raised the drawbridge."

"Good."  Cara sat down immediately and massaged her aching feet.  Ashley did likewise.

Link smiled grimly.  "I suppose you'll be wanting to ride tomorrow?"

"Yes," they said enthusiastically.

Link dug in the saddlebag and came out with three apples, throwing one to each girl and keeping the last for himself.  After the small but adequate dinner, he got out a couple of blankets for them to sleep on.

As soon as they had gotten themselves comfortable, Cara scooted closer to Ashley  "What do you think we should do, once we get to the town?"

"Explore," said Ashley without hesitation.  "Y'know, look for damsels in distress to rescue or something."

Cara shook her head.  "I dunno, Ashley," she said.  "I think we're in something waaay over our heads here."

"Oh, come on," argued Ashley.  "Why do you have to be so boring?  I've read plenty of books where someone was transported to another world, and it's always to save someone from certain death."

"But this isn't a story!" exclaimed Cara, who, being one of the characters, didn't realize that this was a story.  "This is real life!  One of us could get killed!"

Ashley sighed wearily.  "Oh, fine then.  As soon as we get to the town, we look for a way to get back home."

"Good." 

Cara fell silent for a moment.  Ashley counted down to herself.  "Three...two...one..."

"Not that I would mind slaying a dragon or two," Cara said suddenly.

"Oh, go to sleep," muttered Ashley, strangely satisfied with herself, and pulled the blanket over her head.

Cara awoke to a loud noise.  At first she thought it was her alarm clock, and reached over to hit the snooze button.  When all she found was grass, she opened her eyes and remembered.

The rooster crowed again.  It did not sound a bit like 'cock-a-doodle-doo'.

She sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.  Ashley was still sleeping, and Link was nowhere to be found.  Epona, too, was gone.

She crawled over to Ashley's recumbent form and shook her.  "Wake up, Shlee," she whispered, using her friend's nickname.

"You can't turn it off," murmured Ashley, still in a dream state, and rolled over.

"C'mon, Ashley!  Up and at 'em!"  It had no effect.

She thought for a moment.  Finally she said, "Look!  Behind that rock!  It's Scott Cohen!"

Ashley woke with a start.  "Wha?  Wha?"  Her eyes fell on Cara.  "Oh."  She closed her eyes again.  "Just lemme sleep, willya?"

"Link and Epona are gone," whispered Cara urgently.  "All that's left is our backpacks."

She sat up and brushed her hair out of her eyes.  "So...you think he abandoned us, or what?"

Cara looked flustered.  "Well...no...but..."

"Oh, sure!"  Ashley lowered her voice to a suitably dramatic level and waved her arms about.  "'Link working for the enemy!  Ashley and Cara left alone in the wilderness!  What will our heroes do?!' Sounds like the back of a book, if you ask me."

"Now wait a minute," began Cara.

Before she could finish her sentence, they heard the distinct sound of hoofbeats.  Ashley suddenly looked panicky.  "Link, or...someone else?"

"Look who's worried now," said Cara, then turned serious.  "Um...we'll hide in these bushes, just in case it's a bad guy, and if it's Link, we can jump out and surprise him."  She huddled behind a bush.

Ashley sat down next to her.  "Let me guess- you got that idea out of Lord of the Rings?" she said, a wry look on her face.

Cara didn't answer.  She was watching the road.  The hoofbeats were getting louder.  If she squinted, she could see clouds of dust.

"Here he comes," whispered Ashley, excitement filling her voice as if they were about to go down a steep drop on a rollercoaster.

Cara was too tense to tell her to be quiet.  The rider was getting closer every second, and the thorns poking her in the side were no help.

They both held their breath.

The messenger leaned back, the busy streets of Hyrule Castle Town below.  The view from the roof of the Temple of Time was fantastic, but sight-seeing was not a part of the mission.  In any case, there was little time for it.  According to the plot, which had settled down considerably, the two girls from the parallel dimension should enter the town within the hour.  And from this vantage point, their detection would be inevitable.

The messenger smiled the manic grin of an evil mastermind.  Lord Mikar would be pleased.  Promotion was imminent.

The rider galloped over the crest of the hill.  Cara could not tell what he looked like- whoever he was, he was enveloped in shadow.

The rider pulled in the reins of his horse and looked around.  He dismounted.

"Weapons?" breathed Cara, afraid to even breath.

Ashley shook her head, and put a finger to her lips.

The rider seemed to notice something.  He strode towards them purposefully.  Cara felt like she was about to explode from sheer suspense.

The figure disappeared for a moment behind the foliage.  Suddenly the familiar face of Link appeared over the edge of the bush.  "What are you two doing behind this bush?" he said, a bit suspiciously.

Cara and Ashley sighed simultaneously, letting out all the tension that had been building in them in the past few moments.  They glanced at each other, then fell to the ground in fits of laughter.

"What is it?  What's so funny?"

This only made the girls laugh harder.

"Listen, we don't have time for this.  We've got to get to Hyrule Castle Town as soon as possible."  The two girls stopped giggling as best they could and sat up.  Link continued, "I've just received an important message from the Princess.  She needs my help immediately."

"Is that where you were?" asked Ashley.

Link brightened visibly.  "No, I was getting breakfast from my friend Malon."  He reached into a basket by his side, which had gone previously unnoticed.  "Hard boiled eggs this morning.  We can eat on the move."

They reached the town without much ado.  While Link was setting up Epona in a stable near the gate, the two girls were looking around in awe.

"It's so big," said Cara.

"It's not as big as Saint Louis," said Ashley skeptically.

She looked at her irritably.  "That's not the point," said Cara.  "It's impressive."

"Exactly what I thought first I saw it," said a voice behind them.  They turned to see Link coming out from the stables, wiping his hands on his tunic.  "I was only ten at the time, and it was the biggest place I had ever seen."

"Well, no wonder."  Ashley waved her arms around.  "It's so.. so... so..."

"Big," supplied Cara.

"Right.  Big."

"And impressive.  Don't forget impressive."

"Impressive, right.  Right."

"Not to mention beautiful."

"Yeah, yeah, beautiful, now would you please shut up?"

Link laughed quietly and said, "Come on.  Wait until you see the castle."

The two girls were led along the wide avenue that led into town.  After passing a residential strip, they entered the market square.

Cara stopped and looked around in amazement.  The cobbled streets, the medieval architecture, the faint smell of horses- it was all exactly as she had always pictured a medieval city, and more.  Besides haggling and buying, the people strolled about and chatted good-naturedly.  On a terrace to her left, tables had been set out and people were lounging and sipping drinks.  They even have plumbing, she thought, eyeing a fountain in the center of the square.

Cara suddenly became aware that Link had said something to her.  "What?" she said, distracted.

Link smiled.  "I asked if you liked it here"

"I want to live here," Cara replied breathlessly, her eyes wide.

"Whatever happened to finding our way back home?" asked Ashley wryly in an aside to Cara.

"Well, we'll do that later," said Cara, knowing she was contradicting what she had said before.  "I... want to explore a little first."

Ashley chuckled and shook her head.  "Remind me never to ask you to keep a promise."

They continued along the street, which was now sloping gently upward.  Link stopped them at the fountain Cara had noticed earlier.  "All right, let's stop here for a while," he said.  "I could point out some of the sights, if you want."

The girls nodded yes to both suggestions and sat down on the edge of the fountain.  Link sat on the ground so that they could be more or less eye level with each other.

"That," he began, pointing to their right, where a flight of steps climbed up to the terrace where a large cathedral stood, while the author realized that the sentence was becoming much too long, "is the Temple of Time.  It was built by the Ancient Sages long ago to protect the entrance to the Sacred Realm."

As Link continued, Cara tried to pay attention, but inevitably her mind would wander back to those Sages he had mentioned.  Finally she gave up trying to listen and let her mind do what it wanted to.

She swirled her finger idly in the water flowing through the fountain.  If there were any of those Sages around today, then maybe they could magic her back home.  But... she didn't really want to leave.  She had always dreamed about something like this happening, and here it was, coming true.  Then again, what if things got dangerous?  She didn't intend on dying any time soon.

So all it really came down to was why she was here.  Was it just random chance, or was she brought here to go on some death-ridden adventure?

Cara glanced at Ashley, who was fully absorbed in Link's tour. She knew that if either of the girls had to go on a mission, the other would insist to go too.  The would always stick together.  But she didn't want to risk her friend's life just so they could go on some adventure.

Cara looked at Link.  Obviously he had seen battle, considering the sword on his back, but he wasn't immortal.  One well-aimed arrow could be the end of him.  She didn't want to risk him, either.

What could she do?  She hated to waste this golden opportunity, but she also hated to waste innocent lives.

Suddenly the thought struck her.  What she wanted was answers, and the Sages might be able to give them to her.

She made up her mind.  "Link?"

Link stopped in mid-sentence.  "Um, yes?"

"I... need to tell you something."

Ashley, sensing what Cara was about to say, shot her an angry look, but remained quiet.

Doing her best to ignore her friend's silent rebuke, Cara told Link their story.  When she finished, he had a thoughtful look on his face.  He was silent for a while before he spoke.  "Well, I'm not quite sure what to do with the two of you," he said finally.  "But I know someone who might."  He stood up, and motioned for the other two to do the same.  "I'm going to take you to see the Princess Zelda."

"If you ever do that again," growled a voice, "I will personally strangle you."

The narrator was very confused at this point.  For one thing, he had no idea what it was he did.  Furthermore, as a narrator, he was immaterial, and therefore had no throat to strangle; and he said so.

"Yes," conceded the voice, sounding amused in an evil sort of way.  "But I am the author, and can do whatever I want..."

The narrator was...  AACK!  Okay, okay, uncle, uncle!  Hack, hack...  What did the narrator do?!

"You criticized my writing," said the voice, slightly tightening her grip on the narrator's immaterial but still vital throat.  "And quit talking in third person, willya?"

When did the nar...  Er, I mean, when did I criticize your writing?

"About a page ago," answered the voice.  "Remember, when you said that 'the sentence was becoming much too long'?"

I was just stating the obvious...

"Well, don't state the obvious anymore!" shouted the voice.  "Especially when it criticizing my writing.  Got it?"

Yes, ma'am!  I salute you!

"You can't salute," said the voice.  "You've got no hands.  You're immaterial, remember?"

Well, if I'm immaterial, then how can you strangle me?

"Uhhhh...  Let's just get on with the next scene, shall we?"