Author's Note: Yeah, I know, long time no see, but as I have said elsewhere, I'm a lazy bum. In any case, a lot of my original plot didn't make any sense, so I had to switch a lot of it around before it did. So please excuse the long exposition scene in this chapter… it's my lame attempt to make any sense out of the first chapter. ^_^;;
Cara
and Ashley followed Link out of the city and up a long path, along which
several guards were posted. Their guide
seemed to be well known, and the guards all saluted or waved as they went past.
At
last they reached a checkpoint, where a guard was stationed in some sort of
booth. Link waved at the soldier and
was about to proceed on, but he was stopped.
"What's
going on, Tym?" asked Link suspiciously of the guard.
"Umm,
it's this new thing the King started yesterday," the guard named Tym replied
nervously. "You gotta provide a proof
of identification before you can enter. Sorry, Link, but it's not my fault."
"You
know who I am!" exclaimed Link, incredulous.
"Yeah,
but you gotta do it proper, like," said Tym, shifting uncomfortably from
one foot to another.
Link sighed and dug out a piece of paper from… somewhere. "Look, here, my receipt from the Potion Shop. It's got my signature and everything. Happy?"
"Err, not quite," said Tym, fiddling with his spear and not looking directly at Link.
"Now what do you need? My fingerprints?"
"Well, see, those young ladies there aren't approved by the king to be admitted into the castle, so you gotta sign them in as guests."
"Fine! Give me the paper to sign and let me in already!"
"Okay…" The guard disappeared for a moment behind the booth. When he returned, he was dragging a huge stack of papers. "You gotta sign all these. In triplicate."
Link fainted.
An hour later, in which Link was revived and convinced Tym to let them pass by way of a sword at his neck, the three finally entered the castle. To get to the Princess Zelda, they had to find their way through twisting, winding, and just generally confusing passageways.
"This is the most baffling place I've ever been in," said Cara.
"They say it was designed by a genius," said Link absently, glancing at the map he had been handed at the entrance.
"Yeah, meaning that it only made sense to him," muttered Ashley.
Suddenly a woman appeared in front of them, as if out of nowhere. "You're late," she said coldly.
Link looked up and sighed. "It's not my fault," he said wearily, reminiscent of Han Solo. "We got detained by one of those…booth…things… at the entrance."
The woman shook her head. "One of my dad's crazy ideas. He thinks it increases security, but since the guards know everyone anyway…" She trailed off, leaving it to the reader's imagination to finish the sentence.
"So then what's the point?"
"It doesn't have one, really," said The Voice. "It just seemed to fit."
Everyone glanced around, bewildered. "Who said that?" asked Link.
The woman shrugged. "Oh, we get that all the time. You know, disembodied voices, poltergeists, rooms that disappear at random… the whole bit. Castles just seem to come with these things." Suddenly she looked at Cara and Ashley, as if noticing them for the first time. "Who are they?"
"Oh! Zelda, these are Cara and Ashley."
"Nice to meet you," said Zelda, curtsying. "I am the princess Zelda."
Cara flushed slightly, excited to be meeting royalty. She tried to curtsy, but that doesn't work very well in jeans, so she switched to a bow in mid-curtsy. Ashley just nodded, grinning.
"And what are they doing here?" asked Zelda, not bothering to talk to them directly.
"Listen," said Link, lowering his voice, "something strange is going on, and it doesn't feel right. First the Hathuma disappearances, and now…" He looked pointedly at the girls.
"Um, yes?" urged Zelda, clearly not getting it.
"The 'pointed look' thing didn't work?"
"Nope, sorry."
"Well, then, that changes everything!" Link straightened up, a determined look on his face.
"Really?" said Cara.
"Um, actually, no," he replied, faltering slightly. "I've just always wanted to say something like that. But," he added defensively, "it might change everything!"
"How in the world would that change anything?" asked Ashley, looking at Link strangely.
"Well, it means Zelda must be completely thick, so…" He was rewarded by a slap across the face from the Princess. "Kidding, kidding!"
Cara looked utterly confused. "Um, what exactly were we talking about, anyway?"
Everyone thought about this for a while.
"I don't really remember," said Zelda finally.
"Nor I," added Link.
"I'm rather lost, to tell you the truth," Ashley admitted.
"Can we just disregard the past few minutes, then?" said Cara.
"Fine with me," said The Voice, strangely amiable. "I'm not really in the mood to use the Delete button right now."
No one seemed fazed by this odd comment, and now returned to your originally scheduled fic.
"Come on," said Zelda. "You can explain it all when we get to the Courtyard."
Zelda, Link, and Co. skipped directly to the courtyard in order to avoid lengthy travel exposition. Due to this handy little trick, they were soon sitting around a table, although no one was quite sure how it got there.
"So, tell me what happened," said Zelda, leaning forward slightly.
Cara began, "Well, once upon a time, there were three bears, and… wait, wrong story. Let's start over." Cara paused to gather her thoughts while Ashley rolled her eyes. Finally, she continued, "See, we're not exactly from Hyrule."
"Are you travelers, then?" interrupted Zelda. "You do seem like you're from-" Here she rattled off a series of syllables that Cara couldn't repeat if she tried.
Ashley, however, could. "No, we're not from Jixulfrubbingderizol," she said smoothly, usurping Cara's place as chief story-teller. "We're from a place called America, which I'm sure you haven't heard of, because we're certain that it's in an entirely different universe than Hyrule, which we've never heard of before we got here, and believe me, I would know, because I've heard of a lot of countries, like Switzerland, and Guatemala, and Ecuador, and Pakistan, and Zambia, and Australia, and Thailand, and-"
Zelda cut her off, seeing that she would continue rambling on for another half-hour if not stopped. "Are you saying that you've traveled here from a different universe?"
"Exactly," sighed Cara. "We were just walking home from school when all of a sudden, poof, all the houses are gone and we're in this big field."
"Were there any bright lights, loud noises, anything?" asked Zelda.
"Nope, no transition at all."
"I found them right in the middle of Hyrule Field," put in Link, quite uselessly, as it turned out. "Near Lon Lon Ranch."
Zelda fell silent for a few moments; leaned back. "This explains a lot," she said finally.
"What do you mean?" asked Link, Cara, and Ashley in unison. They glanced at each other and did their best to suppress laughs.
Zelda, completely oblivious, explained, "Ancient texts written by the Sheikah foretell that at some point in time, two people from our world and two people from some other, unknown world will switch places. This is the signal that the interdimensional barriers are weak, and the passage to the Triforce is clear." Link gasped in horror. Noting the confused look on the girls' faces, she added, "The Triforce has the ability to let anyone with a balanced mind take over the world."
"Let's just hope that no one with evil intentions has a balanced mind," muttered Link.
"How long were you here before Link found you?" Zelda asked of Cara and Ashley, suddenly and out of context.
"Only a couple of minutes," said Ashley cautiously. "Why do you ask?"
The princess looked thoughtful. "That means the two boys from Hathuma disappeared first," she mused, more to herself than to anyone in the room. "Something in Hathuma must have caused it, then."
Link looked up from his reverie, a new light in his eyes. "What are you saying?"
Zelda raised her eyebrows at Link's response. "I'm thinking that those two boys are wandering around in your world now," she said, nodding at Cara and Ashley.
Link slammed his hand down on the table in triumph. "And if Ashley and Cara go there, they might be able to get back to their own world?"
"Exactly." Zelda stood up as she outlined her plan. "Link, I want you to take Ashley and Cara to Hathuma. See if you can get them back to their home, and, if possible, find out what caused this switch, if anything. I'll call a Council of Sages, and we'll figure out how to protect the Triforce."
Link nodded. "Right. We'll stay here until after the council, just in case there's any change of plans."
"I suggest you get them situated in the inn," Zelda added, glancing up at the sky. "It'll be getting dark soon, and we might talk late into the night. As soon as you've done that, though, come back here. I want you in on this council."
"No problem," said Link, with a small sigh. "Another sleepless night for me, eh?"
Zelda grinned. "'Fraid so, bucko."
Thanks to a pass provided by Princess Zelda, they were able to get past the palace guards without too much trouble. They were soon standing in front of a hostelry by the name of The Hyrule Inn.
"Clever name, that," muttered Ashley.
The first floor of the building was evidently taken up by a tavern, given the friendly light streaming from the windows and drunken voices raised in song from within. Rickety wooden stairs led up to a long balcony overhanging the main door, along which there was a row of doors- probably the rooms. Someone had set up some tables beneath the balcony for those who wished to dine al fresco, a fancy term for Eating With Bugs And Weather.
"Why don't you girls wait out here while I get you a room," Link told them. "Happy hour at the inn can get kind of, ah, rowdy, to say the least." They nodded, and Link opened the door to the inn. The sounds of drunken revelry got louder for the brief moment the door was open, and were cut off suddenly upon its closing.
There were a few boring minutes, in which Cara shifted uneasily from one foot to another and Ashley tried to peer into the windows. Finally Link emerged from the tavern.
"Here's the key to your room," he said, giving it to Cara. "It's the second one from the stairs, the landlord said. And also, before I go," and here he dug into a pocket, "Here's some rupees for food and such." He dumped something into Ashley's outstretched hands. He then paused, as if trying to remember something, then shook his head.
"Thanks," said Cara suddenly.
"For what?" asked Link, startled.
Cara shrugged. "I dunno. Everything, I guess. For doing all of this for us."
"Oh, it's nothing," said Link blushing, dismissing it with a wave of his hand. He stepped back to look at both of them. "You'll be all right here?"
"Oh yes," nodded Ashley, clutching the money tightly.
Link looked slightly worried, but nodded. "All right, then. Just stay in your room and everything will be fine." He sighed, and said with a slight smile, "And now it's off to the Council of Babble for me." With that he turned and walked away without a glance back in their direction.
As Cara watched him go, trying to explain to herself her growing feeling of dread, Ashley opened her hands to look at what Link had given her.
"Money," she said, a silly grin on her face. "Awesome."
Cara shook herself out of her reverie and tried to ignore her strange feelings. "Can I look?" she said eagerly. Being the avid coin collector that she was, coins from another world entirely interested her immensely.
"Sure." Ashley stretched her arms out for Cara to see. In her hands sat a small glittering pile of what seemed to be green and blue cut glass.
"That's really, really weird," Cara commented, holding a blue rupee up to the light.
Ashley shrugged. "Who cares? It's money. The international language. Makes the world go round, I'm told."
"I thought that was love" was demanding to be said, but Cara ignored it. "Actually, that brings up an interesting topic," she said as they climbed the stairs to the balcony. "Is the world round here? Just because ours is round doesn't been this one is. After all, it's a perfectly logical assumption. If only we could find an ocean somewhere and watch if boats disappear over the horizon, we might be able to find out."
When Ashley didn't respond, Cara gave up. "I wonder how much that's worth," she said, referring to the money.
"A lot, I hope," was the vague reply. Ashley was now trying to count how many glass pieces they had.
"Wait, stop, here's our room." Cara took the key and put it into the rusty lock. After a few false starts, she twisted it around and opened the door.
"We've got four blue ones and seven green ones," said Ashley from behind her. "I hope the green ones are worth more. We could pick up some souvenirs."
Cara dumped her book bag on the floor absentmindedly. The book bag, had it had feelings, would have now been very hurt, as its very existence had been almost forgotten since the last chapter.
Meanwhile, Cara flopped down onto the bed. "So," she said finally, when she had stopped sinking into the depths of the mattress. "What do we do next?"
Ashley sat down next to her and began arraying the rupees in rows before her. "I dunno," she said, sounding bored. "I don't suppose we have pay-per-view, do we?"
"I doubt that, somehow." Cara grinned in spite of herself. "But maybe there's room service!"
Ashley laughed. "Yeah, and maybe they put little mints on the pillows!"
Cara sat up and twisted around. "Nope, the pillows are completely devoid of little mints."
"Oh, darn. Speaking of mints and room service, though, do you think we could get some chow? I'm starved."
"No kidding." Cara vaulted off of the bed. "Maybe we could find some restaurant somewhere."
"We already know where one is, though."
Cara paused and turned to look at Ashley, who was looking as innocent as she could muster. "What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.
"Why, there's a perfectly good tavern right below our feet, if you haven't forgotten, my dear Cara!"
She groaned. "Ashley, you heard what Link said! We're supposed to stay here!"
"Who says he'll find out?" argued Ashley. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?"
"But what if he comes back and he finds us in there?"
"He won't. We'll be careful."
"Ashley…"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you so good at convincing me to do things?"
Ashley smiled sweetly. "It's just one of my talents."
Cara sat dejectedly at a table near the window, where she was on the lookout for any sign of Link. The smoke that permeated the room was beginning to choke her, and the constant smell of alcohol was not doing any good for her sinuses.
She sighed and laid her head on the table. Ashley was off getting them some food, and had been gone for some time. Cara found the clientele of the tavern to be rather disreputable for her taste, and was beginning to feel a bit lonely.
"Hi-eee!" came a familiar call from somewhere nearby. Cara lifted her gaze from the woodwork to see Ashley weaving her way through the throng, a large tray balanced precariously on her head.
"You're getting quite good at that," commented Cara as she reached the table. "Although in the circumstances I wouldn't have taken the risk."
Ashley shrugged, putting the tray down. "I just wanted to see if I could. Here, the milk and the soup is yours."
"How did you figure out how much to pay him?" she asked, sifting through the contents of her soup suspiciously.
"I found someone who looked relatively sober and asked him," she replied, sitting down. "It turns out we've got twelve rupees left."
"Why didn't you just ask the barman?" said Cara through a mouthful of soup.
Ashley gave her a look. "What, and give him our life savings? Come on, I'm not that stupid. He could of charged us whatever he wanted. Um… is something wrong?"
Cara was staring at the mug that accompanied Ashley's meal. "What've you got to drink?"
Her mouth opened and closed a few times silently before she managed to answer. "Uh, just apple juice."
"Just apple juice?" Cara pointed at the mug. "Is that beer in there?"
Ashley let out a huge, fake gasp. "What are you insinuating?"
"Well, see, it's frothy, and brown, and it kinda smells like alcohol, and…"
Ashley threw up her hands. "Aww, come on, Cara! It's not like it's against the law here! And besides, now I'll know if I like it for future reference. Pleeeease?" she added, giving her the puppy-dog-eyes treatment.
Cara sighed in defeat, and Ashley cheered. "But just one," she said sternly, holding up one finger. "And I'm the designated driver, okay?"
"What would you drive, a horse?" Ashley laughed, and took a swig of her beer. Suddenly her eyes bugged out, and she swallowed hurriedly.
Cara was giving her a wry look. "Sooo… how is it?"
"Worst thing I ever tasted," she replied, and handed the mug to a man that was passing by. "Here, you can have this."
The man looked at it in surprise, and a wide grin spread on his face. He turned to Ashley and bowed theatrically, spilling some of the beer on his shoes in the process. "Thank you, my young- hic!- lady," he slurred, leering. "And what would yer name be?"
"Bad move, Shlee," muttered Cara. Ashley nodded, grimacing.
"Yeah, well, we were just leaving," she began, and started to get up.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, and grabbed hold of her arm. "Do ya have a place ter stay? You could always come to my acc… acca… accoma… uh… house."
Ashley looked at the hand on her arm in disgust. "No, really, we're fine…"
The man looked like he was going to say something, but a voice interrupted him. "Aaron, you're flat drunk."
He turned, stumbling a little, to find himself face-to-face with a short, red-headed woman, although she somehow seemed to project herself as much taller. "Whazzah?"
"You're drunk," the woman repeated, a fierce look in her eyes. "Just go home before you do something you'll regret in the morning."
Aaron tried to straighten up, although the net result was of him looking slightly silly. "Yer just jealous that I've got a girlfriend and it's not you," he countered, his hand straying back towards Ashley.
The woman knocked his hand away, causing him to loose his balance, spin around, and fall flat on the floor. He didn't get up. She prodded him roughly with her foot, but he gave no sign.
"Shoulda taken my advice," she muttered.
Ashley heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Thanks, lady. I felt like I was about to puke."
The woman looked up and smiled, seeming to shrink slightly. "No problem," she said, her features softening. "But if you don't want that type of attention, you really shouldn't have come in here."
Ashley motioned towards her food defensively. "Hey, we were hungry!"
"Ashley, be polite!" hissed Cara.
But the woman just laughed. "I can tell you're new here, or else you would've known about the much more respectable establishment across the street." She stuck her hand out to be shook. "I'm Salinan."
"I'm Cara and that's Ashley," said the former, meeting Salinan's firm grip. "You guessed right- we're from America."
Salinan shook her head. "Never heard of the place, but that's not entirely surprising. I'm from Hathuma down south. Nice to meet you."
"Hathuma, really?" Ashley exclaimed. "That's where we're going tomorrow!"
Salinan paused, tilting her head to one side. "Really?" she said finally. "Do you know how to get there? Because I was thinking of heading back now anyway, I think I've overstayed my welcome…"
"You're coming with us?" squealed Ashley.
"That I am, lass," she replied, sounding Irish for no apparent reason at all. She paused again, then added, "That is, if you'll take me."
"Of course!" said Cara. "You've been a great help to us! This is one way to repay you, I guess."
"Yay!" shouted Ashley. "We're going to Hathuma, we're going to Hathuma…"
Cara smiled, but her gaze was drawn from her friend as she noticed the bartender motion to a man at the bar; said something. The man turned and looked in their direction. Quickly glancing back, he flipped a coin to the bartender and slipped out the door…
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A/N: So… like it so far? Is it funny, or just stupid? Or did you not know it was supposed to be funny until just now? …R&R please!