Disclaimer: Same as before applies
Chapter 5
Miguel glanced over at Kay. One hand gripped the steering wheel as the other fiddled with the knobs on the radio.
Miguel chuckled quietly as a lock of hair fell down into Kay's eyes. Her face began to turn red as she blew at it, hoping that it would move away from her eyes.
Miguel gently reached over and brushed the strands away. Kay turned and smiled softly thanking him with her eyes.
He smiled back and then gently rubbed his fingers together trying to remember the feel of her soft hair. It had been silky between his fingers. Quite different from Charity's, which was so fragile, it seemed to break at the slightest touch. He sat his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. He just didn't want to think about that. It didn't seem right to think of Charity when his mind seemed to pulse with thoughts of Kay's smile, hair, and everything else that made her so beautiful.
Kay glanced over at Miguel and began to speak softly, "I'm extremely grateful for what you did." She cleared her throat and then continued, "I shouldn't have gotten so upset, but well when you pulled me out of there like that I felt like a teenager again. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I'm sure you can understand, but I don't have to many good memories of that time."
"Anyways, the reason I wanted the cottage so badly was because it reminded me of Michael." Miguel noted the glazed look her eyes took on as she drifted into a memory, "We always planned on building a home like that; a place where we could raise our children." She glanced over at Miguel, "I'm sure you understand. You and Charity probably have plans like that."
Miguel swallowed hard and nodded at her. He couldn't stand this; it was enough to make him jealous knowing that Kay had loved someone so much, but it also made him sick to think that Charity and him had once had plans like that. Now all he could imagine was he and Kay having children and raising them in a wonderful home.
Kay smiled at him, "You're such a great friend Miguel. I'm glad to have someone to talk too. It seems like it has been so long."
Miguel froze as Kay said this. He could remember all the times he had ignored her; all the times he had told her she was, "such a great friend," and then ignored her once again to be with Charity.
It burned to hear those words. They were so sharp, exactly like knives driving into his heart. What an idiot he had been to put her through such pain.
Kay's voice broke through his thoughts, "Miguel, are you okay." Her trusting smile only drove the knife deeper, "You drifted for a second. Thought I had lost you there."
Miguel nodded and tried to return the smile, but just couldn't. Kay's grin began to slip away and a worried expression took over, "Are you sure you're okay. I didn't say anything to upset you did I?"
Kay pulled up next to the Lopez-Fitzgerald house and stopped, "Is there anything wrong Miguel?"
Miguel couldn't take that look of worry any longer. He unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door and began to step out. Kay's hand shot out and grip his arm firmly, "Miguel, please tell me. What's wrong?"
Miguel pulled Kay's hand away and then looked back at her. He just had to; there was no stopping it. He leaned into the car and gently kissed her on the lips. As he felt her body tense he pulled back and ran up the walk to the door.
Kay watched as he went and then felt her body go numb. She stared at her hands and then dropped her head onto her chest. 'Not now,' she thought, 'God not now.' Her whole body felt weighed down with guilt. She tried to deny the kiss that had just been passed between her and Miguel. The small part of her mind that remembered the nights she had spent yearning for him cried with joy, but the other part cried.
She couldn't desert her husband's memory so soon. It was just too much for her, but she didn't want to hurt Miguel either. He was and always would be her best friend. She cradled her head in her hands. What could she do? What could she possibly do?
*****
Kay lay on her bed, a photo album in front of her. She quietly flipped pages, every now and then stopping to read a caption underneath a picture. As she got further back she noticed that her smiles became weak and then completely nonexistent and then the small blurbs beneath the picture got bitter.
Kay couldn't believe how horrible she had felt. Most of it felt like such a distant dream and now history was repeating itself. This time though she and Miguel had switched positions. She buried her face into the comforter and let out a large sigh.
"Penny for your thoughts." Said Jessica as she walked in holding two steaming cups of tea. She settled herself on the floor next to the bed and patted the spot beside her. Kay slipped off the bed and sat on the floor. She gently positioned her legs in a lotus position and the picked up her cup of tea.
Jessica laughed and then smiled, "I never understood how you could do that. But I guess you got all the athletic abilities and I," Jessica glanced over at Kay slyly before continuing, "and I got all the brains."
Kay calmly placed her cup down, grabbed a pillow of the bed, and hit Jessica over the head with it. Jessica laughed at her sister and feigned surrender.
She took a sip from her cup and then looked back at Kay, "You know I feel so weird sitting here talking with you. We never had a decent conversation when we were younger, but now it's just like we finally understand each other."
Kay watched as Jessica slipped into thought. "Hey sis, how about a penny for your thoughts." Kay smiled as Jessica looked up at her, "I'd offer more, but I'm a little short on change at the moment."
Jessica smiled faintly at her sister's joke, "I'm just thinking of when we were teenagers." Jessica stared at Kay's face for a moment. Trying to decide whether or not she wanted to tell her secret.
"You do know I was jealous of you." Jessica looked down at the warm cup she held in her hands, "I hated the feeling because I wanted to be your best friend. That's the way the movies and books said it should be. So I hated myself and then took the anger out on you."
Jessica cleared her throat debating whether or not she should continue, "Then Charity showed up on our doorstep and I found my chance. I saw how much mom loved her and I decided that was my chance to get some attention."
Jessica's voice took on bitter undertones and Kay realized how similar they sounded, "Mom didn't care if I liked Charity or not. All she cared was how you didn't treat her right. I hated you even more."
Jessica could feel the tears pooling in her eyes and she wiped them away, "I'm sorry Kay, I'm sorry that I drove you away. I'm sorry that we all drove you away."
Kay took her baby sister in her arms and hugged her. She whispered softly about how she didn't care and that it was the past. Kay could truly say she hated her mother at this moment. She had put so many people through so much pain and never apologized for it.
Jessica looked up at Kay, "It's your turn. What's on your mind?"
Kay brushed her hair out of her face, "Well Jessica, I got my wish. Only it's about two years to late." Kay sighed gently before continuing, "I've made a mess of things. I'm not ready for a new relationship yet and my return is going to dissolve Charity and Miguel's. He kissed me today Jessica and it was more than just friendly."
Kay balled her fists in frustration, "Does he expect me to drop the feelings I had for Michael. I just buried him four days ago and already he thinks I can get over it. I may have moped after Miguel for four years, but Michael returned my soul and loved me more than I've ever felt in less than a week."
This time Jessica hugged Kay and whispered comforting words to her. For both of them the world seemed to have crumbled to the ground, but now was the chance to start fresh and new.
"Kay I'm not jealous anymore and I think we can keep each other from making mistakes." Jessica said softly, "I think that this is our chance to make a pact. We'll try to keep each other safe from hurt and when we aren't always able to we'll share our problems over a cup of tea."
Kay smiled at Jessica and softly uttered one word, "Agreed."
Chapter 5
Miguel glanced over at Kay. One hand gripped the steering wheel as the other fiddled with the knobs on the radio.
Miguel chuckled quietly as a lock of hair fell down into Kay's eyes. Her face began to turn red as she blew at it, hoping that it would move away from her eyes.
Miguel gently reached over and brushed the strands away. Kay turned and smiled softly thanking him with her eyes.
He smiled back and then gently rubbed his fingers together trying to remember the feel of her soft hair. It had been silky between his fingers. Quite different from Charity's, which was so fragile, it seemed to break at the slightest touch. He sat his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. He just didn't want to think about that. It didn't seem right to think of Charity when his mind seemed to pulse with thoughts of Kay's smile, hair, and everything else that made her so beautiful.
Kay glanced over at Miguel and began to speak softly, "I'm extremely grateful for what you did." She cleared her throat and then continued, "I shouldn't have gotten so upset, but well when you pulled me out of there like that I felt like a teenager again. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I'm sure you can understand, but I don't have to many good memories of that time."
"Anyways, the reason I wanted the cottage so badly was because it reminded me of Michael." Miguel noted the glazed look her eyes took on as she drifted into a memory, "We always planned on building a home like that; a place where we could raise our children." She glanced over at Miguel, "I'm sure you understand. You and Charity probably have plans like that."
Miguel swallowed hard and nodded at her. He couldn't stand this; it was enough to make him jealous knowing that Kay had loved someone so much, but it also made him sick to think that Charity and him had once had plans like that. Now all he could imagine was he and Kay having children and raising them in a wonderful home.
Kay smiled at him, "You're such a great friend Miguel. I'm glad to have someone to talk too. It seems like it has been so long."
Miguel froze as Kay said this. He could remember all the times he had ignored her; all the times he had told her she was, "such a great friend," and then ignored her once again to be with Charity.
It burned to hear those words. They were so sharp, exactly like knives driving into his heart. What an idiot he had been to put her through such pain.
Kay's voice broke through his thoughts, "Miguel, are you okay." Her trusting smile only drove the knife deeper, "You drifted for a second. Thought I had lost you there."
Miguel nodded and tried to return the smile, but just couldn't. Kay's grin began to slip away and a worried expression took over, "Are you sure you're okay. I didn't say anything to upset you did I?"
Kay pulled up next to the Lopez-Fitzgerald house and stopped, "Is there anything wrong Miguel?"
Miguel couldn't take that look of worry any longer. He unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door and began to step out. Kay's hand shot out and grip his arm firmly, "Miguel, please tell me. What's wrong?"
Miguel pulled Kay's hand away and then looked back at her. He just had to; there was no stopping it. He leaned into the car and gently kissed her on the lips. As he felt her body tense he pulled back and ran up the walk to the door.
Kay watched as he went and then felt her body go numb. She stared at her hands and then dropped her head onto her chest. 'Not now,' she thought, 'God not now.' Her whole body felt weighed down with guilt. She tried to deny the kiss that had just been passed between her and Miguel. The small part of her mind that remembered the nights she had spent yearning for him cried with joy, but the other part cried.
She couldn't desert her husband's memory so soon. It was just too much for her, but she didn't want to hurt Miguel either. He was and always would be her best friend. She cradled her head in her hands. What could she do? What could she possibly do?
*****
Kay lay on her bed, a photo album in front of her. She quietly flipped pages, every now and then stopping to read a caption underneath a picture. As she got further back she noticed that her smiles became weak and then completely nonexistent and then the small blurbs beneath the picture got bitter.
Kay couldn't believe how horrible she had felt. Most of it felt like such a distant dream and now history was repeating itself. This time though she and Miguel had switched positions. She buried her face into the comforter and let out a large sigh.
"Penny for your thoughts." Said Jessica as she walked in holding two steaming cups of tea. She settled herself on the floor next to the bed and patted the spot beside her. Kay slipped off the bed and sat on the floor. She gently positioned her legs in a lotus position and the picked up her cup of tea.
Jessica laughed and then smiled, "I never understood how you could do that. But I guess you got all the athletic abilities and I," Jessica glanced over at Kay slyly before continuing, "and I got all the brains."
Kay calmly placed her cup down, grabbed a pillow of the bed, and hit Jessica over the head with it. Jessica laughed at her sister and feigned surrender.
She took a sip from her cup and then looked back at Kay, "You know I feel so weird sitting here talking with you. We never had a decent conversation when we were younger, but now it's just like we finally understand each other."
Kay watched as Jessica slipped into thought. "Hey sis, how about a penny for your thoughts." Kay smiled as Jessica looked up at her, "I'd offer more, but I'm a little short on change at the moment."
Jessica smiled faintly at her sister's joke, "I'm just thinking of when we were teenagers." Jessica stared at Kay's face for a moment. Trying to decide whether or not she wanted to tell her secret.
"You do know I was jealous of you." Jessica looked down at the warm cup she held in her hands, "I hated the feeling because I wanted to be your best friend. That's the way the movies and books said it should be. So I hated myself and then took the anger out on you."
Jessica cleared her throat debating whether or not she should continue, "Then Charity showed up on our doorstep and I found my chance. I saw how much mom loved her and I decided that was my chance to get some attention."
Jessica's voice took on bitter undertones and Kay realized how similar they sounded, "Mom didn't care if I liked Charity or not. All she cared was how you didn't treat her right. I hated you even more."
Jessica could feel the tears pooling in her eyes and she wiped them away, "I'm sorry Kay, I'm sorry that I drove you away. I'm sorry that we all drove you away."
Kay took her baby sister in her arms and hugged her. She whispered softly about how she didn't care and that it was the past. Kay could truly say she hated her mother at this moment. She had put so many people through so much pain and never apologized for it.
Jessica looked up at Kay, "It's your turn. What's on your mind?"
Kay brushed her hair out of her face, "Well Jessica, I got my wish. Only it's about two years to late." Kay sighed gently before continuing, "I've made a mess of things. I'm not ready for a new relationship yet and my return is going to dissolve Charity and Miguel's. He kissed me today Jessica and it was more than just friendly."
Kay balled her fists in frustration, "Does he expect me to drop the feelings I had for Michael. I just buried him four days ago and already he thinks I can get over it. I may have moped after Miguel for four years, but Michael returned my soul and loved me more than I've ever felt in less than a week."
This time Jessica hugged Kay and whispered comforting words to her. For both of them the world seemed to have crumbled to the ground, but now was the chance to start fresh and new.
"Kay I'm not jealous anymore and I think we can keep each other from making mistakes." Jessica said softly, "I think that this is our chance to make a pact. We'll try to keep each other safe from hurt and when we aren't always able to we'll share our problems over a cup of tea."
Kay smiled at Jessica and softly uttered one word, "Agreed."