"Do you remember me?"
He squinted - unnecessarily, of course, his hawk eyes missing nothing - with disbelief. Impossible. Absolutely impossible. You're…
"Dead, I know." She let out a fierce, typically her, kind of laugh. "I get that comment a lot, actually."
Rachel. Speechless, Tobias ruffled his feathers. He should have known better than to be drifting around Rachel's old house. It was all too humanlike, and beginning to give him hallucinations.
"That's my name."
Go away, will you! he screeched. I have enough trouble dealing with my own grief. It's too much to have some dream Rachel haunting me.
"It's been a year, Tobias." He turned away, ignoring the illusion. "And don't pretend you didn't hear me. I've been a raptor before, you know."
You're dead. Gone…killed…obliterated. Got that?
She nodded. "But do you?"
Do I what?
"Do you understand?" She put a hand - a solid, real hand - on his wing. Tobias turned sharply, glaring at her with his hawk eyes and shrugging her away. "I'm not here anymore…and I never will be again."
Don't remind me, he grumbled. Go away. It was too painful, seeing her here, hearing her, actually feeling her presence and her touch… His hallucinations had never been so elaborate, or so realistic.
"You need to move on, Tobias," she said gently.
I have moved on. he insisted. I don't care about you anymore.
"Then why are you flying around my house?" With no answer to this, Tobias simply fluttered his feathers and prepared to fly. It was no use talking to this…thing…this twisted figment of his imagination. She wasn't Rachel. She was nothing. Rachel was dead.
I'm leaving, he replied automatically, feeling horribly dumb to be talking to this dream-girl.
"Go, then." She sighed, hesitantly drawing back her hand. "I know you think you're imagining me…that I'm not real…that I couldn't be talking to you. But listen, Tobias, just this once. Listen like you would to Rachel. Like you would to me, Tobias." He turned slightly, and she matched his hawk gaze with her own. "Forgive Jake."
He killed you, Tobias said bluntly.
"He didn't kill me…some filthy slug killed me. He couldn't force me to go. It was out of my own stupidity that I went on that ship in the first place, and if I hadn't…"
You'd still be alive.
"But millions wouldn't." She paused, the reality of her breath and heartbeat nerve-wracking to Tobias. "Jake only did what he thought was right."
Well, Jake was wrong, Tobias snapped. I'd have willingly given my life a million times…to avoid you dying just once.
"And to see me live through a million agonies? Don't do this. You have to move on. You've got to forgive him…and yourself." Her normally fiery eyes were serious and dreary, her tone attempting to be comforting. Sentiment was never Rachel's strong point.
The words sunk into Tobias' heart, penetrating the emotional shell cast over him. I might, he admitted finally. But not for you. His gazed into the distance, into the clouds forming over the neighbourhood. I'll forgive him for Rachel's sake. The real Rachel. Both were silent, and Tobias spread his wings and launched into the sky.
He flew forward, refusing to stop, until he finally forced himself to look back.
And she was gone.
He squinted - unnecessarily, of course, his hawk eyes missing nothing - with disbelief. Impossible. Absolutely impossible. You're…
"Dead, I know." She let out a fierce, typically her, kind of laugh. "I get that comment a lot, actually."
Rachel. Speechless, Tobias ruffled his feathers. He should have known better than to be drifting around Rachel's old house. It was all too humanlike, and beginning to give him hallucinations.
"That's my name."
Go away, will you! he screeched. I have enough trouble dealing with my own grief. It's too much to have some dream Rachel haunting me.
"It's been a year, Tobias." He turned away, ignoring the illusion. "And don't pretend you didn't hear me. I've been a raptor before, you know."
You're dead. Gone…killed…obliterated. Got that?
She nodded. "But do you?"
Do I what?
"Do you understand?" She put a hand - a solid, real hand - on his wing. Tobias turned sharply, glaring at her with his hawk eyes and shrugging her away. "I'm not here anymore…and I never will be again."
Don't remind me, he grumbled. Go away. It was too painful, seeing her here, hearing her, actually feeling her presence and her touch… His hallucinations had never been so elaborate, or so realistic.
"You need to move on, Tobias," she said gently.
I have moved on. he insisted. I don't care about you anymore.
"Then why are you flying around my house?" With no answer to this, Tobias simply fluttered his feathers and prepared to fly. It was no use talking to this…thing…this twisted figment of his imagination. She wasn't Rachel. She was nothing. Rachel was dead.
I'm leaving, he replied automatically, feeling horribly dumb to be talking to this dream-girl.
"Go, then." She sighed, hesitantly drawing back her hand. "I know you think you're imagining me…that I'm not real…that I couldn't be talking to you. But listen, Tobias, just this once. Listen like you would to Rachel. Like you would to me, Tobias." He turned slightly, and she matched his hawk gaze with her own. "Forgive Jake."
He killed you, Tobias said bluntly.
"He didn't kill me…some filthy slug killed me. He couldn't force me to go. It was out of my own stupidity that I went on that ship in the first place, and if I hadn't…"
You'd still be alive.
"But millions wouldn't." She paused, the reality of her breath and heartbeat nerve-wracking to Tobias. "Jake only did what he thought was right."
Well, Jake was wrong, Tobias snapped. I'd have willingly given my life a million times…to avoid you dying just once.
"And to see me live through a million agonies? Don't do this. You have to move on. You've got to forgive him…and yourself." Her normally fiery eyes were serious and dreary, her tone attempting to be comforting. Sentiment was never Rachel's strong point.
The words sunk into Tobias' heart, penetrating the emotional shell cast over him. I might, he admitted finally. But not for you. His gazed into the distance, into the clouds forming over the neighbourhood. I'll forgive him for Rachel's sake. The real Rachel. Both were silent, and Tobias spread his wings and launched into the sky.
He flew forward, refusing to stop, until he finally forced himself to look back.
And she was gone.