Disclaimer: No credit for these character is being taken by yours truly.
Author's Notes: I think I've learned my lesson. Light comedy: good and gets reviews. Dark angst: not good and gets few reviews. Or maybe I've just been spoiled by "Two Can Play". Anywho, I've started this story now and I can't not finish it;)
Dedication: To Eric, who endures being dressed as Heero at the whim of his girlfriend and her friends.
****
Wherever You Are
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"The injection ought to last for at least ten hours." Sally Po put the plastic cap back on the hypodermic needle. "If he gets restless before then, just give me a call."
Heero rubbed his forehead. "Thank you, Sally."
The older woman's blue eyes watered. "What are you going to say to him when he wakes up?"
"The truth." Heero raised his shoulders. "What else can I do?"
There was a knock on the mansion door. Standing up, Heero started down the stairs. Sally followed with her medical bag. She watched as Heero opened the door, letting her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Chang Wufei and Trowa Barton into the house. Quatre Winner followed the two men, carrying a small, sleeping child in his arms.
Sally reached for Duo and Hilde's son. "Where should I put him, Heero?"
"He'll wake up long before Duo does. I don't want him to see Duo unconcious." Heero pointed to a second floor door, visible from the first. "Put him in there." She left to put Samuel to bed.
Quatre's blue-green eyes were red with repressed tears. "I also put together a bag of their things. It's in the car."
Heero nodded. "I appreciate it." He turned to Wufei. "Any news?"
"Car bomb. Plastic explosives. Timed to go off when the limo hit twenty miles per hour. We managed to salvage some of it; we'll know more in a few days." Wufei crossed his arms. "As for....the passengers...." He cleared his throat. "There wasn't enough left to..."
Trowa stopped him as he saw Relena approaching them from the parlor. "Like he said, we don't know much."
The Vice Foriegn Minister allowed her husband to steady her as she joined the circle. Her eyes were lifeless; her slender body shook. "I couldn't sleep", she whispered.
Heero's arms grasped her tightly, as though he could send his strength into her. "You need to, Relena."
"I agree." Sally walked back down the stairs. "The best way to deal with trauma like this is to sleep."
Relena shook her head as she thought. "Who did this? Why would anyone want to hurt Hilde?"
Trowa and Wufei exchanged a look. Heero caught it and returned the look with one of his own. One that pratically begged them to keep quiet. But Wufei didn't notice. "Relena...the bomb wasn't meant for...
"Wufei. Stop." Quatre's voice was quiet, but deadly firm.
"Oh god..." Heero's wife covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh no...no, no, no...."
"Relena", Heero gently stroked her back. "It's not your fault..."
Bile rose in her throat. She bent over, still holding her mouth. Sally quickly ran to her side and guided her away to the nearest bathroom. As soon as she was out of sight, Heero's fists balled up. "I want to know who did this. I want you to track them down and when you find them, I'll..."
"That may be harder than it seems, Heero." Trowa took a breath. "I'm not saying it's impossible, but from what I saw at the scene, whoever did this was no idiot. The bomb won't be made of anything that can be traced and there certainly won't be any more telling clues."
Heero's eyes narrowed. "What are you saying?"
"He's just trying to prepare you, Heero." Quatre sniffed. "We may never know who did this."
"You try telling that to Duo when he wakes up."
****
"It's all my fault."
Sally wrung water from a washcloth and pressed it to Relena's cheek. "Don't even say that because you know how untrue it is."
"I do?" Relena let Sally pat down her flushed cheeks. She swallowed, tasting acid in the back of her throat. "You heard Wufei. *I* was the one who was supposed to die tonight. I'm the one who should have been..."
"Hey." Sally slapped her cheek lightly. "Stop right now. Before you drive yourself insane." She ran the washcloth under the faucet. "The only person who is at fault here is the sick bastard who planted the bomb. And he...she...them, they will be found, Relena." She delicately wiped a tear from Relena's eye. "They'll pay for what they did to Hilde." Sally swallowed. "And the baby."
Relena began to cry. "The baby..." After a moment, she lifted her head. "Do you think she was in pain?"
Sally's voice was a whisper. "I don't think she even knew what hit her."
****
He fought his way through the layers of his nightmares, struggling for the surface as though he were drowning. His eyelids were heavy, but he managed to force them open. Bright light blinded him, much like...
*Fire. Fire everywhere. Fire from the....*
Duo rolled over in the unfamiliar bed. A cold sweat plastered his clothes to his skin. He drew his knees up to his chest; his entire body ached. Any minute now, she would shake him to force him up. She was such a morning person.
*Out of bed, sleepy-head!*
Any minute.
He opened his eyes again and the light hurt them less. Someone was in the room, watching him. He struggled to sit up. "Hilde?"
Heero stepped into the light. "It's me", he said for lack of any better words. Duo watched his friend study him carefully. Finally, Heero continued, "Duo...I have to tell you something."
"It can wait." The braided man threw the covers off his legs. He stood up, but the sedatives lingering in his bloodstream made it impossible to stand for long. Heero put an arm around his shoulders. "I'm all right." Duo shook off his arm.
Heero helped him sit back down. "You've been asleep for eleven hours. Ever since the..." He took a breath. "Duo, the thing I have to tell you....it's Hilde."
*Loud noises. Illuminated sky. Rough stone. Arms around him.*
Duo shook his head. "Hilde..."
His friend sat down next to him. "There was an...accident. An explosion." He took a breath. "Someone put a bomb in Relena's limousine. And Hilde..."
*The explosion. The fire. The concrete on his backside as he fell to the ground. Heero holding him back.*
"I don't want to hear it", Duo said, numbly.
Heero looked down at his hands. "I think you need to..."
"No." Duo stood up. "I don't want to hear it. I don't need to hear you tell me...." His voice trembled. "...that she's...dead." He pressed a finger into his chest. "I feel it...right here." Duo froze, the picture of a man who had just realized his entire world had fallen around him. "My girl..." He corrected himself. "My girls are dead."
Not for the first time in his life, Heero said nothing.
Duo's chin dropped to his chest after a long, silent moment. "I can't even see her, can I? Hold her one last time..." Heero shook his head. A second passed before Duo lifted his head. "Where is my son?"
"Eating lunch", Heero replied.
"Have you told him yet?"
"No."
Duo nodded slowly. "I should be the one to tell him." He scratched the back of his head, a nearly perfect imitation of himself. But the Duo standing in front of Heero was not the man who had become his best friend. This Duo was someone different. A shell of the old. "How do you tell a four year old that his mother is gone forever?"
Heero stood up. "I suppose you shouldn't sugar coat it. Children are...perceptive."
"I know", was all Duo said before he started out the door. Heero followed him, keeping a distance of several paces, until they reached the kitchen. Samuel was seated at the wooden table, eating a cheese sandwich with Relena. They both looked up as the two men entered.
"Daddy!", Samuel cried, abandoning his lunch. He ran for his father.
Duo barely reacted to the boy's arms around his legs. He looked up at the ceiling for a long minute.
Relena cleared her throat. "We're glad to see you up, Duo. We were getting worried."
Was it Heero's imagination or did Duo purposely ignore Relena's words? After an awkward second had passed, Duo pulled his son away from his legs and knelt down to his level. "Samuel, I have to tell you something about your mother."
The little boy stared at Duo with eyes that perfectly matched his father's. "Where's Mommy?", he wanted to know.
Duo showed no visible emotion as he continued. "Remember your goldfish...the one you won at the fair?"
Samuel nodded. "Goldie died."
"Yes. Goldie died." Duo paused. "Mommy died, too, Samuel. We're going to miss her very much, but she won't be coming back."
His son studied him for a moment before looking back at Relena. "I want my mommy", he said in the smallest of voices. Relena covered her mouth but said nothing. Samuel looked at Heero for help. "I want my mommy!"
Duo didn't blink an eye. "Samuel, she's dead. She died and she's not coming back. Just like Goldie didn't come back. And your little sister...she died, too. They both died and that's that."
Huge tears welled up in his son's wide violet eyes. "I want my mommy", he cried. "I don't want mommy to be dead!"
His father gripped his little shoulder. "Stop it, Samuel. Crying isn't going to do a damn thing."
Samuel ignored him and continued to cry. Relena stepped forward. "Duo...come on. He's only a..."
Duo's head shot up; his eyes blazed. "You stay out of it."
His words were like a slap across her face. Relena put a hand to her cheek. Only Heero coming up behind her kept her from stumbling under the shock of his words. Heero's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "This is not the way to handle all of this, Duo."
It seemed as though his words had their intended effect. Duo blinked and looked at his four-year old son, crying in confused grief and intense shock. He wished he could join the boy, but it felt as though he had no tears to shed for his wife or his unborn child. Instead of joining the boy in his tears, he pulled him into an embrace and let the child cry.
Relena watched Duo comforting his son and wished he would allow himself to partake of the same comfort. Yet she still couldn't get the look Duo had when he had addressed her out of her mind. He had looked at her as though he hated her. She blinked as his gaze met hers.
There was no sorrow in the empty violet centers of Duo's eyes. They were not eyes offering an apology or seeking forgiveness. They were eyes that carried too much pain to be contained. Eyes that had to release some of their pent-up emotion on someone.
Relena had the sinking feeling she was that someone.
****
TBC
Author's Notes: I think I've learned my lesson. Light comedy: good and gets reviews. Dark angst: not good and gets few reviews. Or maybe I've just been spoiled by "Two Can Play". Anywho, I've started this story now and I can't not finish it;)
Dedication: To Eric, who endures being dressed as Heero at the whim of his girlfriend and her friends.
****
Wherever You Are
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"The injection ought to last for at least ten hours." Sally Po put the plastic cap back on the hypodermic needle. "If he gets restless before then, just give me a call."
Heero rubbed his forehead. "Thank you, Sally."
The older woman's blue eyes watered. "What are you going to say to him when he wakes up?"
"The truth." Heero raised his shoulders. "What else can I do?"
There was a knock on the mansion door. Standing up, Heero started down the stairs. Sally followed with her medical bag. She watched as Heero opened the door, letting her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Chang Wufei and Trowa Barton into the house. Quatre Winner followed the two men, carrying a small, sleeping child in his arms.
Sally reached for Duo and Hilde's son. "Where should I put him, Heero?"
"He'll wake up long before Duo does. I don't want him to see Duo unconcious." Heero pointed to a second floor door, visible from the first. "Put him in there." She left to put Samuel to bed.
Quatre's blue-green eyes were red with repressed tears. "I also put together a bag of their things. It's in the car."
Heero nodded. "I appreciate it." He turned to Wufei. "Any news?"
"Car bomb. Plastic explosives. Timed to go off when the limo hit twenty miles per hour. We managed to salvage some of it; we'll know more in a few days." Wufei crossed his arms. "As for....the passengers...." He cleared his throat. "There wasn't enough left to..."
Trowa stopped him as he saw Relena approaching them from the parlor. "Like he said, we don't know much."
The Vice Foriegn Minister allowed her husband to steady her as she joined the circle. Her eyes were lifeless; her slender body shook. "I couldn't sleep", she whispered.
Heero's arms grasped her tightly, as though he could send his strength into her. "You need to, Relena."
"I agree." Sally walked back down the stairs. "The best way to deal with trauma like this is to sleep."
Relena shook her head as she thought. "Who did this? Why would anyone want to hurt Hilde?"
Trowa and Wufei exchanged a look. Heero caught it and returned the look with one of his own. One that pratically begged them to keep quiet. But Wufei didn't notice. "Relena...the bomb wasn't meant for...
"Wufei. Stop." Quatre's voice was quiet, but deadly firm.
"Oh god..." Heero's wife covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh no...no, no, no...."
"Relena", Heero gently stroked her back. "It's not your fault..."
Bile rose in her throat. She bent over, still holding her mouth. Sally quickly ran to her side and guided her away to the nearest bathroom. As soon as she was out of sight, Heero's fists balled up. "I want to know who did this. I want you to track them down and when you find them, I'll..."
"That may be harder than it seems, Heero." Trowa took a breath. "I'm not saying it's impossible, but from what I saw at the scene, whoever did this was no idiot. The bomb won't be made of anything that can be traced and there certainly won't be any more telling clues."
Heero's eyes narrowed. "What are you saying?"
"He's just trying to prepare you, Heero." Quatre sniffed. "We may never know who did this."
"You try telling that to Duo when he wakes up."
****
"It's all my fault."
Sally wrung water from a washcloth and pressed it to Relena's cheek. "Don't even say that because you know how untrue it is."
"I do?" Relena let Sally pat down her flushed cheeks. She swallowed, tasting acid in the back of her throat. "You heard Wufei. *I* was the one who was supposed to die tonight. I'm the one who should have been..."
"Hey." Sally slapped her cheek lightly. "Stop right now. Before you drive yourself insane." She ran the washcloth under the faucet. "The only person who is at fault here is the sick bastard who planted the bomb. And he...she...them, they will be found, Relena." She delicately wiped a tear from Relena's eye. "They'll pay for what they did to Hilde." Sally swallowed. "And the baby."
Relena began to cry. "The baby..." After a moment, she lifted her head. "Do you think she was in pain?"
Sally's voice was a whisper. "I don't think she even knew what hit her."
****
He fought his way through the layers of his nightmares, struggling for the surface as though he were drowning. His eyelids were heavy, but he managed to force them open. Bright light blinded him, much like...
*Fire. Fire everywhere. Fire from the....*
Duo rolled over in the unfamiliar bed. A cold sweat plastered his clothes to his skin. He drew his knees up to his chest; his entire body ached. Any minute now, she would shake him to force him up. She was such a morning person.
*Out of bed, sleepy-head!*
Any minute.
He opened his eyes again and the light hurt them less. Someone was in the room, watching him. He struggled to sit up. "Hilde?"
Heero stepped into the light. "It's me", he said for lack of any better words. Duo watched his friend study him carefully. Finally, Heero continued, "Duo...I have to tell you something."
"It can wait." The braided man threw the covers off his legs. He stood up, but the sedatives lingering in his bloodstream made it impossible to stand for long. Heero put an arm around his shoulders. "I'm all right." Duo shook off his arm.
Heero helped him sit back down. "You've been asleep for eleven hours. Ever since the..." He took a breath. "Duo, the thing I have to tell you....it's Hilde."
*Loud noises. Illuminated sky. Rough stone. Arms around him.*
Duo shook his head. "Hilde..."
His friend sat down next to him. "There was an...accident. An explosion." He took a breath. "Someone put a bomb in Relena's limousine. And Hilde..."
*The explosion. The fire. The concrete on his backside as he fell to the ground. Heero holding him back.*
"I don't want to hear it", Duo said, numbly.
Heero looked down at his hands. "I think you need to..."
"No." Duo stood up. "I don't want to hear it. I don't need to hear you tell me...." His voice trembled. "...that she's...dead." He pressed a finger into his chest. "I feel it...right here." Duo froze, the picture of a man who had just realized his entire world had fallen around him. "My girl..." He corrected himself. "My girls are dead."
Not for the first time in his life, Heero said nothing.
Duo's chin dropped to his chest after a long, silent moment. "I can't even see her, can I? Hold her one last time..." Heero shook his head. A second passed before Duo lifted his head. "Where is my son?"
"Eating lunch", Heero replied.
"Have you told him yet?"
"No."
Duo nodded slowly. "I should be the one to tell him." He scratched the back of his head, a nearly perfect imitation of himself. But the Duo standing in front of Heero was not the man who had become his best friend. This Duo was someone different. A shell of the old. "How do you tell a four year old that his mother is gone forever?"
Heero stood up. "I suppose you shouldn't sugar coat it. Children are...perceptive."
"I know", was all Duo said before he started out the door. Heero followed him, keeping a distance of several paces, until they reached the kitchen. Samuel was seated at the wooden table, eating a cheese sandwich with Relena. They both looked up as the two men entered.
"Daddy!", Samuel cried, abandoning his lunch. He ran for his father.
Duo barely reacted to the boy's arms around his legs. He looked up at the ceiling for a long minute.
Relena cleared her throat. "We're glad to see you up, Duo. We were getting worried."
Was it Heero's imagination or did Duo purposely ignore Relena's words? After an awkward second had passed, Duo pulled his son away from his legs and knelt down to his level. "Samuel, I have to tell you something about your mother."
The little boy stared at Duo with eyes that perfectly matched his father's. "Where's Mommy?", he wanted to know.
Duo showed no visible emotion as he continued. "Remember your goldfish...the one you won at the fair?"
Samuel nodded. "Goldie died."
"Yes. Goldie died." Duo paused. "Mommy died, too, Samuel. We're going to miss her very much, but she won't be coming back."
His son studied him for a moment before looking back at Relena. "I want my mommy", he said in the smallest of voices. Relena covered her mouth but said nothing. Samuel looked at Heero for help. "I want my mommy!"
Duo didn't blink an eye. "Samuel, she's dead. She died and she's not coming back. Just like Goldie didn't come back. And your little sister...she died, too. They both died and that's that."
Huge tears welled up in his son's wide violet eyes. "I want my mommy", he cried. "I don't want mommy to be dead!"
His father gripped his little shoulder. "Stop it, Samuel. Crying isn't going to do a damn thing."
Samuel ignored him and continued to cry. Relena stepped forward. "Duo...come on. He's only a..."
Duo's head shot up; his eyes blazed. "You stay out of it."
His words were like a slap across her face. Relena put a hand to her cheek. Only Heero coming up behind her kept her from stumbling under the shock of his words. Heero's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "This is not the way to handle all of this, Duo."
It seemed as though his words had their intended effect. Duo blinked and looked at his four-year old son, crying in confused grief and intense shock. He wished he could join the boy, but it felt as though he had no tears to shed for his wife or his unborn child. Instead of joining the boy in his tears, he pulled him into an embrace and let the child cry.
Relena watched Duo comforting his son and wished he would allow himself to partake of the same comfort. Yet she still couldn't get the look Duo had when he had addressed her out of her mind. He had looked at her as though he hated her. She blinked as his gaze met hers.
There was no sorrow in the empty violet centers of Duo's eyes. They were not eyes offering an apology or seeking forgiveness. They were eyes that carried too much pain to be contained. Eyes that had to release some of their pent-up emotion on someone.
Relena had the sinking feeling she was that someone.
****
TBC