Silent Thoughts
By: Cynic X
Hi Everyone, This is an a self inspection piece based on Darien's POV. Once again, I do not own Sailor Moon and am making no money on this story. I hope you enjoy it, and happy reading.
"…"-dialogue
Today, I ran into Serena, or rather she literally ran into me, and for some reason it was different. It struck me just how much I hurt her. Her world cut into me like knives, "How can you say things like that to me? Why? Did I ever hurt you? Or is your sole purpose in life to hurt me?" What hurt me the most was the "Why?" and the fact that I had no answer to that. Why do I make fun of her so much. Sure she is a crybaby and clumsy, but the way I treat her, I wouldn't even treat my own enemy, and yet I constantly do it. There was no answer to her "Why?" and that has got me thinking. "Did I ever hurt you?" The answer to her other question is "No" as well. She has never hurt me. Even from the first day when she ran into me it was purely accidental, and the day she threw her shoe at me, I admit, I deserved it. I was the jerk. I was the one that teased her about her grades. I was the one that made fun of her hair, and yes, I was even the one that made her cry. "Is my sole purpose in life to hurt her?" The answer to that was difficult to arrive at. I was denying it from myself, and yet it was so obvious to everyone around us. My sole purpose in life is to cherish her, be the one to comfort her, be the one to make her smile, and yet, here I was being the complete opposite. I was tormenting her, I was soley doing what I didn't want to do. I was never able to express my feeling, and was even worse at talking about them. I realize that my making fun of Serena was my way of talking to her, spending time with her, what I didn't realize was the effect on her. By trying to be around her, I was destroying every chance to be with her. At that moment, I did something I never did before to Serena, I apologized. I realized that me sole purpose in life was to make her happy, and I made a promise to myself that from that day forward, I would never hurt her. I just didn't want to face the facts that due to my teasing I might have lost my angel, my one true love. The truth is I don't know much about her, and yet at the same time I know everything. I don't know her personally; she doesn't talk to me as a friend, but rather we argue as enemies would. But is that what we really are? What I do know about her, I learned form observing her. She cares a great deal about other, and would sacrifice anything for her friends. Serena is caring, and her bright smile rivals that of the sun itself. Yet not once did she ever show me her smile. Instead I became aquatinted with her frown, the very emotion I never wanted to bring to her face. One day, when I am not a jerk to her, I hope that not only will I be able to know her better, but that she will be able to know me better. I wish I were able to tell Serena that her smile brings life in to this dreary life of mine. Until then, I regret every moment I ever hurt Serena, and want to make amends for my actions. I just hope in Serena's big heart, she has room enough to forgive me.