*awaits flames from angry Takari fans*
When She Brushes My Hair
: By Slayer :
I like it when she brushes my hair.
I really do. She's so gentle and calm, and when she brushes my hair, she takes her time with it. Not like me - I'm impatient, and so half the time the tangles and knots are still there when I'm done. But she does it slowly, and doesn't yank or pull...it never hurts.
"I wish I had long hair," she says to me suddenly, and even without turning around I know she's smiling. "Mine's short, so I can't do much with it. You're lucky!"
If only she knew..."Hikari-chan," I say to her, trying to sound patient and calm (like her), "you don't want long hair. It's always getting tangled and messy and I can never decide what to do with it, and whenever there's wind it blows in my face, and if my glasses weren't there I'd go blind, and -"
Stupid, stupid. You're babbling again, I scold myself, and now she probably thinks you're an idiot. But I can still tell she's smiling by the tone of her voice (she always smiles). "Maybe," she says thoughtfully, still running the brush through my hair, "if you took your time, your hair wouldn't be so messy all the time."
"Take my time?" I repeat, and let out a forced laugh. She knows I can't wait. "You must be kidding." I don't think she listened, as she's giving no reply and still brushing my hair. Humming, now. It's a nice song, whatever she's humming. Maybe because she's humming it, and not anyone else? Is that why I think it's nice? A thought occurs to me, and now a smile crosses my own lips. "If you grew your hair out long," I tell her, "then I could brush your hair instead of you doing mine all the time."
"Oh?" She puts the brush down on the desk. Oh, what's she thinking now? Then her voice comes in again -- "Do you want to brush my hair, Miyako-chan?"
That question...yes, yes, I do want to brush your hair. Because I want to be gentle with your hair just like you're gentle with mine. Just don't sound too eager, I tell myself sharply. "Sure. Why not? It might give me practice for doing my own."
She kind of giggles at this for some reason, and I stand up and look at her. She's grinning, as always, but now she's grinning at me -- those are the kind of grins I see her give Takeru-kun all the time, they were never for anyone else. How odd. But then she forces a smile out of me, and she slides into the seat I was just sitting in, and I go behind her and pick up the brush carefully.
I wonder if she's thinking about me.
Slowly, carefully, I brush her short hair. And even though her hair is short, I think I'm doing a decent job on it -- she hasn't complained, not once. "Am I hurting you?" I ask curiously. If I am, I know I've failed, because if I can't brush her hair, I can't brush anyone's, much less my own.
"Not at all!" she replies, and I feel something lifted off of my chest. I continue to brush, just the way she does it to me -- softly and slowly and surely. She suddenly turns around...why is she blushing? I want to know what she's thinking. "Miyako," she says to me (no suffix?), "will you...brush my bangs?"
Why does she sound so timid and meek? (And she's blushing.) It's not a big deal, right? "No problem," I assure her, and move to her front. She's looking at the ground, not at me. But that's not a big deal, I suppose.
I have to get out her barrette first.
Because you certainly can't brush hair with something in it.
So why am I hesitating? It's not like I haven't touched her face before. I've slapped her before, and that took a lot of courage, so this will be easy. (But she's blushing.) So now I'll reach up, aiming for her barrette.
But I miss.
Oh, yeah, I missed...my hand is on her cheek now, and I know - I KNOW - I'm blushing, and I can see that she's blushing too. How smooth, how completely smooth. Now she thinks I'm a total idiot, because she won't even look at me.
Just take your hand off her cheek, Miyako.
My hand isn't moving...why can't I just take it off her cheek? But she's blushing, and I'm blushing, and now she's looking at me again. Probably thinks I'm a moron. But her eyes are...they're the same as always, but they look happier. Happy because I missed the stupid barrette? (What is she thinking?)
And then my hand falls from her cheek, although it's involuntarily. "Sorry," I manage to say, but it comes out as only a whisper, because I think she thinks I'm being stupid and awkward and silly again, and just trying to fool with her.
But she must see I'm sincere somehow. "No," she says softly to me, "it's all right." And then she stands up, and smiles at me. (She's not blushing.) "I'll finish your hair. Is that alright with you, Miyako?"
No suffix again. It makes me wonder. My face feels cooler...I've stopped blushing. What's that mean? Does it mean my stupid 'attraction' for her is over, or does it mean something else, something that maybe I'm too blind to see? But I want her to brush my hair. "Yes, it's fine, Hikari," I answer her. No suffix.
And then we switch places again, and I relax. Because she's brushing my hair, and her hands are against my neck, and smoothing my hair down. She makes me feel warm inside, without even saying a word. I wonder if she feels the same way about me? Do I make her happy? But I don't want to think about that, I want to think about my hair.
Because I like it when she brushes my hair.