Letter from piper to prue
A lot of people would think me crazy writing a letter to you after you have passed away! But there are so many things left unsaid so many things left undone. You left my life so fast so unexpected! No time for goodbye! No time for a hug! No time to tell you how much I love you! The day started so normal just like everyday. Our morning coffee! You reading the business section. Me reading the entertainment column. Laughing at phoebe whom was late once again. Then running around to find your camera-bag you had misplaced again. Everything was normal. Till phoebe had her premonition. Even that was nothing out of the ordinary. We went and found our demon. Like we had done so many times before. But this demon seemed to be too strong. Not even Leo could help you with this one. You where hurt so bad. There was nothing he could do. Now the house is empty. Your coffee cup in the sink. Still left unwashed. Your coat still hanging on the chair. No one has touched. Your camera left on the hallway-table. Afraid to move it all! Phoebe walking through the house, looking very lost.
Me myself am holding on. Everything here reminds us, you are no longer here. I haven't been in your room yet! I stood in front of it today! my hand was on the knob. But I couldn't go in! It is as if when I go in there it will be final. And I don't want it to be final. I want things back to normal. I want to hear your laugh. I want to hear your voice. I want to see you smiling. I want to see that long black hair. But most of all the things I miss. Are those blue eyes I have known all my life! I want it back I want you back. I know you are with mom and grams and probably Andy too. But I want to be selfish and I don't care. I need you here and so does phoebe. Without you here we are so lost. You are the strong one the one who kept us together the glue so to say. That glue is gone and so is the bond. What are we supposed to do now? I am sorry I don't mean to go on like this. But it is the way I feel. I miss talking to you. I miss crying in your arms. I miss you walking in this door or even walking out. I miss going to the mall with you or just going out to lunch. I miss my big sister your advice, your knowledge. There are so many things that you still have to teach me. How can I be a mother when you are not here to help me? How do I talk to phoebe? How do I deal with Cole? What if Leo and me get in to trouble? Where am I supposed to go? Now I am supposed to be the eldest sister. A role I don't want. I liked to be the middle sister. It suited me so much better. I know I should be happy that you are in a better place. And I really want to be happy. And I am trying. But prue it is so hard. You know people are pretty good liars. They say time will pass and it will get better. But prue time has passed. And it is not getting better. Every day seems to get harder and harder. Days seem so much longer now. While I want them to go by faster. Night had always seemed so long. But now that I need them to be longer it seems they have gotten shorter. All I want to do is lay in bed and not get out. But that would not seem fair to Leo. Although he has been working even more. Most night he isn't even here. So phoebe sleeps with me. We have been holding on to each other. To try and deal with this. In time I hope we look back and laugh at all the things we used to do. But as for right now all we can do is grief.
The funny thing is when I started to write this letter. I was only going to write about the good things and how we where doing okay. But as I read it over again it looks okay to me. Because if I would have written any other way then it really was you would have known. You always knew if we where lying no reason to think that would have changed.
I am going to put an end to this letter and try to go up to your room once more. I think it might do me some good. And even if it gets too much. You will be all around me. Maybe I can even ask if phoebe wants to join me. Don't worry I will make sure she wont take any of your dresses. Just remember even way there up above that you have a sister who love's way down here below.
Your sister
Piper