Hey Draco! A silly filk by Alex Picchetti

Author's Notes - this is actually SimonB's fault. Wanna know why? He started this with the "lewd HarryDraco version of 'The Locomotion'". Obviously, I had to do a ripoff of the Toni Basil song. Be warned - slashy Harry/Draconess, random chibiness, and... yeah.

*some cute yet super-deformed Harrys come out, holding red and gold pom-poms. They blink at each other, then the pom-poms. As the music starts, they throw these pom-poms away for some silver and green ones. They start dancing/cheering.*

Oh Draco, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Draco, hey Draco!
Oh Draco, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Draco, hey Draco!
Oh Draco, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Draco, hey Draco!
Oh Draco, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Draco...

*as the deformed-Harrys are singing, deformed-Rons come in and try to stop them from singing by throwing giant chess pieces at them.*


Hey Draco
You've been around all night and that's not long enough
You think you should be top but I think you've got it wrong
Why can't you say all right so I can take you now, Draco


'Cause when you say you will, it always means you won't
You're being such a tease, baby, please baby don't
Every night you still leave me all alone, Draco


Oh Draco, what a pity, you don't understand
You take me by the heart when you take me in your hand

*the deformed-Rons turn green and simultaneously collapse. A few deformed-Hermiones peek around a door, and call in recruits.*


Oh Draco, you're so pretty, can't you understand
It's guys like you, Draco
Ooh what you do Draco, do Draco
Don't break my heart, Draco

*a few deformed-'Nurse'-Hermiones come in and start collecting the collapsed deformed-Rons. The deformed-Harrys seem not to notice and continue with their show.*


Hey Draco
Now when you take me by the... who's ever gonna know?
Every time you move I let a little more show
There's something you can use, so don't say no, Draco

*the deformed-Harrys seem to be getting very pink. A couple of them drop their pom-poms and run for the nearest bathroom.*


So come on and give it to me anyway you can
Anyway you want to do it, I'll take it like a man
Oh please baby, please don't leave me in this jam Draco


Oh Draco, what a pity, you don't understand
You take me by the heart when you take me in your hand
Oh Draco, you're so pretty, can't you understand
It's guys like you, Draco
Ooh what you do Draco, do Draco
Don't break my heart, Draco...

*as the song fades out, the rest of the deformed-Harrys run backstage. They and many deformed-Dracos vanish into the depths of the room and are not seen until many days later.*

Draco Malfoy smirked and turned to his blushing companion. "So, Potter," He drawled, "You want to be top, eh?"
Harry coughed and started to clean his glasses. "Well, you know..." He said vaguely. "It might be a nice change..."
"I'm sure it can be... arranged."
"Dra... we have... Potions in five minutes!"
"Your point?"
"...I had a point?"

fin

***

Yay, random silliness! Well, that warrants a much higher rating than the PG13 it started as... *snickers*