Dark Forest Humor 2 – The Abbot Strikes Back
Martin and Gonff sat drinking Polar Pure Purified Water in the Dark Forest, bored out of
their minds. Gonff had an idea. "Martin, let's play Blackjack!"
Martin sighed, "No, that's too boring. Besides, I always win!"
"Do not! I won last time!"
"No, matey, that's where you wrong! As I recall I won with both paws behind my back
and a chestnut up my nose."
"What?!"
"Nothing."
Suddenly, eleventy-billion shrews walked up behind Gonff and Martin. After noticing
them Martin says, "Hello, Log-a-log."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Gonff."
Martin says, "Ok that's enough."
Gonff says, "What?! They just started saying my name!"
After that all the shrews mysteriously disappear. A monkey walks up. That's right a
monkey.
The monkey says, "I'm a woodlander too!"
Gonff yells, "No you're a jungle…la…nder!"
The monkey starts crying, "It's racism! I'm reporting this to Brian Jacques!"
Suddenly four humans walk up and say, "Hello, we are the Beatles!"
Martin looks puzzled and says, "Your humans and only one of you are dead! How are
you in animal heaven?"
Gonff shakes his head and says, "First we have monkeys then we have the Beatles."
The Beatles say, "The Monkees were here? Next thing you know the Who will come!"
"The Who?"
"Yeah the Who."
"Who?"
"The Who."
"The What?"
"The Who."
"When?"
"Who-I mean now."
"Huh?"
Paul McCartney then says, "The Rolling Stones!"
"What?"
"Nevermind."
Then the collective voices of the mob ring out, "What?"
The Beatles yell back, "The Who!"
Gonff smiles and says, "Yay the mob mentality is back. Rebel against the man!"
"The man? You mean the Who?"
"Yes rebel against the Who!"
"What?"
"The Who!"
Then the mob run off and rebel against the Who and beat them up.
Then the Beatles disappear after hurting everyone's head.
"Well, that was expected." Gonff states.
Martin smacks Gonff upside the head.
"I meant unexcepted! Yeesh, stop it!"
Dumble the Dibbun Dormouse (Yes, Ouch, he did die as a dibbun) appears.
Martin greets him. "Hello, dibbun. What name do you go by?"
The dibbun put on a angry face. "I is Dumble, the Dormousey Warlord! Whats nomey
does you gone by?"
Martin smiled then said: "I am Martin the Mouse Warrior."
"Dormiceseys is beddar din Crazymouse! Charge!"
An army of dibbun dormice charge at Martin.
"Hey now, that's now correct gram-ahhhhh!" Martin's cry is swallowed by the dormouse
army. Gonff plays dead while dormice conquer the Dark Forest.
Martin shouts are muffled by the army, "Gonfaahh! Help!"
Gonff starts singing like the Beatles, "Help! I need somebody. Heeeelp!"
Martin then says, "You can't sing. And I'm dying!"
"Your already dead."
"Oh yeah. Hmmm. Blackjack anyone?"
"Me,me,me!"
"Ok,Gonff, me verses you."
Martin and Gonff sat drinking Polar Pure Purified Water in the Dark Forest, bored out of
their minds. Gonff had an idea. "Martin, let's play Blackjack!"
Martin sighed, "No, that's too boring. Besides, I always win!"
"Do not! I won last time!"
"No, matey, that's where you wrong! As I recall I won with both paws behind my back
and a chestnut up my nose."
"What?!"
"Nothing."
Suddenly, eleventy-billion shrews walked up behind Gonff and Martin. After noticing
them Martin says, "Hello, Log-a-log."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Martin."
"Hi, Gonff."
Martin says, "Ok that's enough."
Gonff says, "What?! They just started saying my name!"
After that all the shrews mysteriously disappear. A monkey walks up. That's right a
monkey.
The monkey says, "I'm a woodlander too!"
Gonff yells, "No you're a jungle…la…nder!"
The monkey starts crying, "It's racism! I'm reporting this to Brian Jacques!"
Suddenly four humans walk up and say, "Hello, we are the Beatles!"
Martin looks puzzled and says, "Your humans and only one of you are dead! How are
you in animal heaven?"
Gonff shakes his head and says, "First we have monkeys then we have the Beatles."
The Beatles say, "The Monkees were here? Next thing you know the Who will come!"
"The Who?"
"Yeah the Who."
"Who?"
"The Who."
"The What?"
"The Who."
"When?"
"Who-I mean now."
"Huh?"
Paul McCartney then says, "The Rolling Stones!"
"What?"
"Nevermind."
Then the collective voices of the mob ring out, "What?"
The Beatles yell back, "The Who!"
Gonff smiles and says, "Yay the mob mentality is back. Rebel against the man!"
"The man? You mean the Who?"
"Yes rebel against the Who!"
"What?"
"The Who!"
Then the mob run off and rebel against the Who and beat them up.
Then the Beatles disappear after hurting everyone's head.
"Well, that was expected." Gonff states.
Martin smacks Gonff upside the head.
"I meant unexcepted! Yeesh, stop it!"
Dumble the Dibbun Dormouse (Yes, Ouch, he did die as a dibbun) appears.
Martin greets him. "Hello, dibbun. What name do you go by?"
The dibbun put on a angry face. "I is Dumble, the Dormousey Warlord! Whats nomey
does you gone by?"
Martin smiled then said: "I am Martin the Mouse Warrior."
"Dormiceseys is beddar din Crazymouse! Charge!"
An army of dibbun dormice charge at Martin.
"Hey now, that's now correct gram-ahhhhh!" Martin's cry is swallowed by the dormouse
army. Gonff plays dead while dormice conquer the Dark Forest.
Martin shouts are muffled by the army, "Gonfaahh! Help!"
Gonff starts singing like the Beatles, "Help! I need somebody. Heeeelp!"
Martin then says, "You can't sing. And I'm dying!"
"Your already dead."
"Oh yeah. Hmmm. Blackjack anyone?"
"Me,me,me!"
"Ok,Gonff, me verses you."