Author's Note:
Thank you to Tracy, my special friend from the world of 'Imzadi', for helping
this Voyager writer to find the confidence to venture away from home into
the realm of TNG, and for reading the result to check I did ok. Thank you
for your help, but most of all thank you for being a friend.
Only Human
Copyright September 2001
by Kayla
Seven of Nine paused inside
the door of the laboratory and looked around. A slight smile of satisfaction
appeared on her lips as she surveyed the familiar consoles and screens.
At last she was somewhere where she could put her abilities to work. Locating
a pair of legs protruding from beneath a console she strode across the
room and came to a halt beside them.
"Lieutenant Barclay, we are
to work together I believe."
A thud shook the console and
was followed by a muffled exclamation. Lt. Barclay emerged from beneath
the console, rubbing his forehead.
"S-seven of Nine! I wasn't expecting
you so soon. I was told you would be here tomorrow."
"You may call me Seven, I am
accustomed to that title. I have found that people find it cumbersome to
use my full designation."
Barclay nodded in mute acceptance.
Seven smiled slightly as she
studied the nervous man before her.
"I apologise for startling you,
Lieutenant. I am aware that I was not due to start work until tomorrow,
but I had nothing else to occupy my time, to delay would have been inefficient."
"O-of course. I'm sorry. I-I
didn't mean to imply that you were unwelcome. I've been looking forward
to working with you, I was just surprised to see you. I had assumed that
you would be visiting family and friends or getting to know San Francisco."
"I prefer to stay within Starfleet
Headquarters. I am uncomfortable with the attention I receive when people
notice my implants. It is easier for me to stay here where my presence
is more familiar. I have no friends outside Voyager's crew and therefore
have no reason to leave."
Barclay looked at her with concern.
"But people from Voyager won't
be staying here indefinitely, many of them have already returned to their
homes, surely you'll be lonely if you don't visit them sometimes?"
"I am accustomed to my own company,
and there are few among Voyager's crew who would consider inviting me to
their home."
"I-I'm sorry I don't mean to
pry, it's just that I thought, I mean I'd heard, I..." Barclay stuttered
to a halt.
"You had heard what, Lieutenant?"
"Well someone mentioned that
you had become close to Commander Chakotay. I thought that maybe you would
be spending some time with him."
"We had attempted to form a
personal relationship towards the end of our time on Voyager, but once
we arrived here it became obvious that we had little in common. We made
a mutual decision to end our relationship and I have not seen him since
that time."
"I'm sorry."
"There is no reason for you
to feel remorse, Lieutenant. You were not responsible for the end of the
relationship."
"No, no, of course not. I meant,
it must have been upsetting for you."
"I felt no distress. Such a
feeling would be inappropriate when following the logical course of action."
"Unfortunately feelings can
often be inappropriate," Barclay stated, ruefully.
"So I have been told, though
I fail to understand why that should be so. It seems that I have much to
learn about human emotion. Perhaps you will assist me."
"I don't know if I'd be much
help. Oh, but I know someone who would!" Barclay's face suddenly lit up
with eager anticipation. "Have you met Counselor Deanna Troi?"
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
"Seven, may I introduce Counselor
Deanna Troi? Deanna, this is Seven of Nine."
"It's a pleasure to meet you,
Seven. Reg often talks about you."
"As he does about you, Counselor.
I am grateful that you were able to make time to meet us today."
"You make it sound like an official
appointment, Seven! I always enjoy meeting friends for lunch. Especially,"
she grinned, "when lunch includes chocolate."
"Lieutenant Barclay has mentioned
your fondness for chocolate. I believe he selected this restaurant due
to the number of desserts on the menu that include that ingredient."
"Reg knows me too well," Deanna
smiled at the blushing engineer. "But I hope there's something on the menu
that you'll enjoy too."
"Enjoyment is irrelevant, I
select my meals for their nutritional value."
"The one need not preclude the
other, Seven."
"That has not been my experience.
The database lists leola root as an excellent source of fourteen nutrients
and yet, no matter how Neelix prepared it, I never found its consumption
to be a pleasurable experience."
"Did you ever consider the possibility
that leola root just tastes bad?" Deanna fought to suppress a smile.
"I had reached that conclusion,"
Seven confirmed.
"Then why continue to eat it?"
"It is an efficient method of
obtaining the required nutrients. It would have been foolish to waste replicator
energy on producing additional foodstuffs."
"But there's no need to worry
about that now, Seven. You should experiment, find out what you enjoy."
"Do you have any suggestions,
Counselor?"
Deanna scanned the menu.
"How about Mushroom Soup followed
by Seafood Risotto? With luck you'll still have room for a chocolate sundae
afterwards."
"Very well. If you believe that
to be an enjoyable selection I will follow your suggestions. Indeed Commander
Chakotay expressed a fondness for mushroom soup during our time on Voyager."
"You and the commander became
quite close I believe?" Deanna queried.
"We attempted to begin a relationship
but it was not successful. I am unsure why that was the case since we appeared,
to me, to be well matched."
"What makes you think that you
were well matched?"
"We worked together successfully,
we have a similar level of intelligence, we are both physically attractive."
"It takes more than that for
a relationship to work. In fact, some of the most successful relationships
occur between couples who appear to be totally mismatched. Did you ever
hear the expression 'opposites attract'?"
"Yes, but I have never understood
it. How can people who are not alike find each other attractive?"
"I don't think anyone has been
able to explain what makes one person attractive to another. Certainly
there's more to it than looks or intelligence."
"Then how does one determine
a suitable candidate with whom to attempt a relationship?"
"You have to be guided by your
feelings. Sometimes the attraction is instantaneous. Sometimes a couple
grows together over time. But when you find the right person you'll know."
"Then why do couples take so
long to form a permanent partnership? I have observed that couples who
are obviously attracted to each other often attempt to hide their feelings
from others, from each other and sometimes from themselves. Such behaviour
is illogical if they are aware that they have, as you say, found the right
person."
Deanna gave a wry smile.
"Little about love is logical,
Seven."
Reg had been sitting quietly
listening to the conversation of the two women, but now his curiosity got
the better of him.
"Did you have a particular couple
in mind?"
"There were several such couples
on Voyager," Seven stated.
Deanna and Reg stared at her
expectantly but no further information was forthcoming. Finally, unable
to contain herself, Deanna broke the silence.
"Seven, if you want to learn
about being human then your first lesson is the art of gossip. So spill
it, who was attracted to who?"
"Lieutenants Paris and Torres
shared a mutual attraction for some time before they made their relationship
public and eventually married."
"That's not gossip, Seven. Everyone
knows about their relationship." Deanna was obviously disappointed. "Tell
us something we don't know."
Seven paused to consider for
a moment before deciding to enter into the spirit of the conversation.
"Commander Chakotay often behaved
in a manner that indicated that he was attracted to the captain, and although
she was more discreet, I believe that Captain Janeway had similar feelings
for the commander."
"And yet Commander Chakotay
began a relationship with you?" Reg was intrigued by this information about
the officers who had become his heroes.
"I am unsure why he chose to
pursue that course of action, but Captain Janeway gave him no indication
that he should act on his feelings for her, and I am told that he had demonstrated
on several previous occasions that he finds women with my colouring attractive."
"Do you think the captain knew
how he felt about her?" asked Reg.
"I do not see how she could
fail to notice. It was obvious to everyone else," Seven answered before
turning to the counselor. "I am curious, if she was aware of his feelings
and returned them, why did Captain Janeway not begin a relationship with
Commander Chakotay?"
"Only she can answer that, Seven.
Perhaps you should ask her," Deanna joked.
Seven, as usual, failed to catch
the humour in her remark and left Reg and Deanna speechless with her next
remark
"I have arranged to meet with
Captain Janeway next month. She is anxious to know how I am adapting to
life away from Voyager. I will ask her then."
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
"Seven, you're looking well.
Come in." Kathryn Janeway looked up as Seven appeared at the door of her
office.
"Thank you, Captain. You are
also looking well. I assume that your homecoming has been a pleasurable
experience."
"I certainly wouldn't describe
it all as pleasurable, but things seem to be looking up lately." Kathryn
smiled inwardly as she considered recent events. "How have things been
with you? Are you enjoying being on Earth?"
"It has been unsettling. I receive
more attention from strangers than I desire. I understood that it was considered
rude to stare, but that view is not supported by the actions of many of
the people I encounter."
"They don't mean to be rude,
Seven, but you are a unique individual. It's not every day that they get
to see an ex-Borg, you have to expect some interest."
"I understand that it is inevitable,
but it is unpleasant never the less."
"I imagine so. But aside from
that how are things going? Do you enjoy your work?"
"It is valuable work. Starfleet's
astrometrics systems will benefit greatly from the addition of Borg enhancements."
"I'm sure you're doing a wonderful
job." Kathryn was used to Seven's lack of modesty and was unfazed by her
high opinion of the merits of her work.
"I would be unable to perform
satisfactorily without the assistance of Lieutenant Barclay. Federation
technology has improved since Voyager was developed and his knowledge of
current systems has been invaluable to the efficiency of our project."
"Reg Barclay is a fine engineer,"
Janeway agreed. "I look forward to hearing more about your work. I'll need
full reports if I'm to include the details of your design changes in my
briefings to the academy instructors."
"Reg mentioned to me that you
will be overseeing the work at Utopia Planitia. Congratulations, Captain,
I understand that the position carries a promotion to Admiral."
"Yes, it does, thank you, Seven.
It will be somewhat different from commanding a starship, I'm looking forward
to the challenge."
"When will you be taking up
the position?"
"Well, I've already begun reviewing
some reports and meeting with the engineering teams but officially I don't
start until the promotion takes effect on the first of next month. I'm
planning to make my first visit to the shipyards in three weeks time."
Janeway rose from her seat and
moved to the replicator. She ordered her customary mug of coffee then turned
back to her companion. "Can I get you something, Seven?"
"Thank you. A strawberry milkshake
would be most welcome at this time."
The captain stared at her in
wide-mouthed astonishment.
"A strawberry milkshake?"
"I was advised to find nutritious
foods that I also find pleasant. I have found that I enjoy the taste of
strawberry milkshake," Seven explained.
"Sounds like excellent advice.
The Doctor?"
"No, I have not seen him since
the enquiry into his sentience." Seven looked vaguely uncomfortable for
a moment. "The advice came from Counselor Deanna Troi."
"Ah," Kathryn smiled. "An excellent
source of advice. Her love of chocolate is legendary within Starfleet."
"As is your own fondness for
coffee." Her tone was bland but a slight smile revealed the humorous intent.
Kathryn laughed as she handed
Seven her drink and settled back into her seat.
"Touché. I guess I can't
deny it when the evidence is against me." She indicated towards the mug
in her hand. "Did Deanna have any other advice for you?"
"She advised me to ask you why
you had not begun a relationship with Commander Chakotay while we were
still aboard Voyager." Seven wasted no time in getting to the point.
It wasn't the first time that
Kathryn had been rendered speechless by a statement from Seven, but on
this occasion her recovery took a little longer than normal. She took a
gulp of coffee as she considered the situation, finally she attempted to
avoid the issue.
"I really don't think that Counselor
Troi has any interest in such matters, Seven. You must have misunderstood."
"I understood perfectly, Captain.
That is precisely what she advised me to do."
Seven proceeded to outline her
conversation with the counselor for the captain's benefit. She ended her
narrative by reiterating her question.
"Since my conversation with
Counselor Troi I have learned that you have now begun a relationship with
the commander. Since the crew's observations regarding your feelings for
each other appear to have been correct, I am curious to know why you did
not begin such a relationship in the Delta Quadrant."
Although Kathryn immediately
realised that Deanna had not been serious in her advice to Seven she decided
that the younger woman was genuine in her desire to understand more about
the nature of human relationships. That being the case some sort of answer
to her question was clearly necessary, but first she had some concerns
of her own to address.
"I hope you know that I would
never have stood in the way of your relationship with Chakotay, Seven.
Although it was upsetting to me personally to see him with you, I truly
hoped that it would work out for you, if that was what you both wanted.
It was only after I knew that your relationship had ended that Chakotay
and I became.." she hesitated for a moment as she searched for the right
word.
"Intimate?" suggested Seven.
"Actually I was going to say
'closer' but I guess 'intimate' is correct," Kathryn agreed.
"I do not blame you for the
failure of my relationship with the commander. Had you and Commander Chakotay
become 'closer' while we were on Voyager the possibility of such a relationship
would not have been considered by either of us."
"I suppose so." Kathryn sighed
as she attempted to formulate an explanation. "I'm not sure that I fully
understand my reasons myself, Seven. Starfleet regulations had a lot to
do with it, I was reluctant to begin a relationship with an officer under
my command, but that wasn't the whole reason. For a while there was Mark,
the man I was engaged to marry. I could never have become involved with
another man while I thought that Mark was waiting for me, and once I heard
that he had moved on ...Well, I guess I was afraid."
"Afraid of what? You had no
reason to fear Commander Chakotay."
"No, not afraid of him, afraid
of many things: afraid of what the crew would think; afraid of Starfleet's
reaction once we got home; afraid that my command would suffer. But most
of all I think I was afraid that I would lose him."
"I do not understand. Why would
you lose the commander if you acted on your feelings for him?"
"In some way or another I have
lost every man I've loved. My first fiancé was killed in a shuttle
accident along with my father. I lost Mark when we became stranded in the
Delta Quadrant. And then there was Jaffen, the man I lived with on Quarra."
She paused and glanced at Seven, seeking confirmation that the reference
was understood.
Seven nodded her remembrance
and Kathryn continued.
"I don't think I loved Jaffen
but I certainly cared for him a great deal and if we hadn't returned to
Voyager and had our memories restored who knows what might have happened.
So, in a way, I lost him too. Perhaps I was afraid to allow myself to love
Chakotay because, if I gave in to my feelings for him, I would lose him
too."
"That is irrational. Events
such as those you have mentioned are not influenced by your feelings for
the individuals involved and, even if they were, it did not make sense
to avoid a relationship with Commander Chakotay on that basis. The logical
course of action would be to commence a relationship, and have him for
a short time, rather than to deny your feelings and never have him at all."
"Perhaps so," Kathryn admitted,
"but little about love is logical."
Seven looked startled.
"That is what Counselor Troi
said."
"Then she is a wise woman,"
Janeway smiled.
"She also told me that when
I found the right person to begin a relationship with I would know, but
that does not appear to be the case."
"What makes you say that?"
"You have told me that you have
been engaged to marry twice in the past and yet on each occasion you have
subsequently commenced a relationship with someone else. Did you agree
to marry men who you did not feel were the right person? Or did you believe
that they were right at the time and only later find that they were not?
And if that is true then how can you be sure that the commander is the
right man for you now?"
Kathryn flinched under the barrage
of questions. This was not the conversation she had envisioned when she
arranged Seven's visit. She was unaccustomed to discussing her private
life, so to suddenly find herself doing so, and with Seven of all people,
was somewhat disconcerting.
"I don't regret my relationships
with Justin and Mark. I was young when I met Justin, he was older than
I was, a respected Starfleet officer. Our relationship was passionate and
exciting; it made me feel alive in a way that I'd never experienced before.
I was devastated when he died, but looking back I think that, although
I missed him badly, a large part of my grief was for my father and the
fact that I blamed myself for not being able to save them."
"You were in the shuttle with
them?"
Kathryn nodded.
"I was injured in the crash
but I was thrown clear of the ship when it crashed. My father and Justin
were trapped in the remains of the hull when it sank under an icecap. I
tried to transport them out but failed."
"If you made every attempt to
save them then you have nothing to reproach yourself for."
"I realise that now, but it
wasn't so easy at the time. Mark was the one who helped me through it.
We had been in school together and I'd known him since I was a small child.
His presence was familiar and comforting, and we grew closer over time.
It was a very different relationship to the one I'd had with Justin, comfortable
rather than passionate. I don't know if I'd have been happy married to
either of them, but I believed I would at the time."
"Do you feel that way about
Commander Chakotay?"
"What I feel for Chakotay goes
far deeper than anything I felt for Justin or Mark. He's the other half
of my soul. Counselor Troi is right in saying that when you find the right
man you know. The hard part is recognising when someone is not the right
one. Sometimes you don't know what you're searching for until you find
it."
Seven sipped her drink and contemplated
what she had heard. Kathryn watched her in silence for a moment before
her curiosity got the better of her.
"Seven, may I ask you something?
When you wanted to start a relationship, why did you choose Chakotay? I
don't mean to pry but I have to confess to being curious. It all seemed
so sudden, one day you were barely friendly the next you were dating. Why
him?"
"It was because I believed you
were attracted to him."
"Excuse me?" Kathryn was sure
she must have misheard.
"In the time that I have known
you, I have observed that you are a good judge of character. I believed
that if you found Commander Chakotay attractive then he must be a good
choice of mate. I therefore selected the commander from the available crewmembers
when I began to explore my sexuality. I now realise that my reasoning was
flawed. Counselor Troi has been most helpful, as have you, Captain. Thank
you."
"You're welcome, Seven. I'm
glad we could help." Kathryn was still surprised by the turn the conversation
had taken, but she was genuinely glad to be able to help her former crewmember.
Her eyes became alight with mischief as she plotted revenge on Deanna for
placing her in this situation. "If you want to learn more perhaps you could
ask Counselor Troi why it took her thirteen years to begin a relationship
with Commander Riker, when even she would admit that they fell in love
the first time they met."
"She did not mention that to
me. I will ask her should we meet again."
Kathryn was about to reply when
the door chime sounded. Looking up she saw her assistant hovering in the
doorway.
"Come in, Ensign."
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Captain,
but Admiral Muir wants to see you in his office."
"Thank you, Ensign. Tell him
I'm on my way."
Ensign Gerrard nodded and left
the room. Kathryn turned back to her companion.
"I'm sorry Seven, I have to
go. Perhaps we can do this again sometime?"
"I would like that, I have found
our conversation most interesting."
Seven stood and moved towards
the door.
"Before you go, Seven...."
Seven stopped and turned back
to face Janeway who was smiling and holding out a tissue.
"You might want to wipe your
lip, you have a moustache."
"I do not understand." Seven
looked puzzled.
"The milkshake, you have milk
on your upper lip."
Seven took the tissue and left
the room rubbing at her face.
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
"Seven, wait up!"
Seven turned at the sound of
her name to see Reg Barclay hurrying down the corridor towards her.
"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?
I thought you had taken the day off."
"I did, I mean I have. I just
wondered if you'd like to join me. I'm meeting Deanna and I'm sure she'd
like to see you again."
"It would be pleasant but I
have work to attend to."
"Work can wait, Seven. You should
take some time for yourself, you haven't had a day off in three months;
it's not normal to work that hard, most people take at least one day off
each week. You'll make yourself ill if you don't rest."
"I do not require rest, it is
sufficient that I regenerate regularly. Besides I took time off to visit
Admiral Janeway."
"That was three weeks ago, you
took half a day and you didn't leave the building!" Three months spent
working closely with Seven had cured Reg of his initial shyness. "Come
on, Seven, you'll enjoy it. We're going to have a picnic on the beach."
"I had understood that such
activities were reserved for the summer months. I do not believe that January
is a suitable time, it will be cold and damp." Seven frowned in distaste
at the thought.
"It would be if we were staying
here but we're not, we're going to transport down to San Juan. Sun, sea,
fresh air, it'll be wonderful. Say you'll come, Seven, you won't regret
it."
"Very well, if you wish me to
come I will do so, but first I must return this padd to the laboratory."
"That's great. Grab a swimsuit
and meet us at the transporter hub in 30 minutes." Barclay beamed at her
before hurrying away leaving Seven with a perplexed frown on her face and
an unspoken question on her lips.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Half an hour later Seven arrived
at the transporter hub to find her companions waiting.
"Seven! I'm so glad you could
join us," Deanna greeted her. "This is Commander Will Riker, Will this
is Seven of Nine."
Will reached out to shake her
hand.
"Delighted to meet you, Miss
Nine."
"I do not believe that is an
appropriate designation, Commander. You may call me Seven or, if you are
uncomfortable with that name, perhaps Miss Hansen would be more suitable."
"You're using your human name
now, Seven?" Deanna was surprised.
"I have considered doing so,
but I am undecided. While I am not comfortable with that name, I have observed
that others find the use of my Borg designation unsettling. There is much
hatred for the Borg here. My name is a reminder to them of what I once
was."
"If you prefer Seven, then that's
what I'll call you," Will decided, "it's your name and you're the one that
should feel comfortable with it."
"I am surprised that you feel
that way, Commander. Your experience of the Borg has been greater than
that of the majority of humans. I expected that you would feel the same
dislike for me that I have sensed from many others."
"I may hate the Borg but I don't
dislike you. You're an individual now and that's who I want to get to know."
Will turned a beaming smile
on her and, seeing the genuine warmth behind it, Seven gave a tentative
smile in return.
"Well we can't stand around
here all afternoon," Deanna took Will's arm, "let's get going."
They gave their destination
to the transporter operator and stepped onto the transporter platform.
Seconds later they were gone, reappearing 5855km away in the bustling transporter
station that served the city of San Juan. Deanna led the way through the
crowd to the section reserved for local transports and requested a transport
to Luquillo Beach.
"Done this before, Deanna?"
asked Will, as they once more stepped onto a transporter platform.
"I love the beach, you know
that!" she chided him, "Luquillo is beautiful, you'll love it."
Will had to agree with her when
they emerged from the transporter station at Playa de Luquillo. Gentle
waves lapped at a broad crescent of white sand that was fringed by cocoa
palms and afforded a spectacular view of the distant El Yunque rainforest
and mountain range beyond. They wound their way through the trees to the
edge of the beach where Deanna took a blanket from her bag and spread it
on the sand.
"I'm going to change," she declared
indicating to a cabana further down the beach. She turned to Seven and
for the first time noticed that Seven was empty handed. "Didn't Reg tell
you to bring a swimsuit?"
"He did, but I do not possess
such a garment."
Deanna looked horrified.
"You can't spend the afternoon
at the beach without a swimsuit. Come with me. I know where we can get
one
for you."
Seven followed helplessly as
Deanna led her back through the trees.
Will and Reg watched them go,
then turned back to the beach and began to unpack the picnic basket that
they had brought with them. By the time the two women reappeared they had
changed into their swimming shorts and were sitting with their backs against
palm trees enjoying a cold drink. Will's eyes widened as he watched them
approach.
"Wow! You look great, Seven!"
He turned to Barclay. "Doesn't she, Reg?"
Reg was unable to speak, he
nodded mutely as he stared at Seven. Gone was the dull brown catsuit that
she had been wearing and instead she was attired in a vivid blue swimsuit
with a matching sarong tied around her waist. After taking a few moments
to enjoy the view Reg found his voice.
"You look wonderful, and so
do you, Deanna," he said with a shy smile.
Deanna beamed back at him.
"Why thank you, Reg. I'm glad
someone appreciates me," she said, pointedly.
"I always appreciate you!" Will
protested grabbing her hand and pulling her into his lap. He lifted her
chin with one finger and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. Deanna smiled
up at him for a moment then turned to Seven who was still standing beside
the blanket looking perplexed.
"Are you alright, Seven?"
"I fail to see the necessity
of changing my clothing. I did not find my original attire uncomfortable."
"Perhaps not," Deanna conceded,
"but to swim you need a swimsuit. Talking of swimming, I need to cool down,
coming?"
Deanna jumped to her feet and
looked expectantly at her companions. Her smile turned to an expression
of concern as she regarded Seven.
"What are you afraid of, Seven?"
she asked, gently.
"I do not know how to swim,"
Seven answered after a moment of hesitation.
"You never learned as a child?"
Will was amazed.
"Perhaps I did, but I have no
memory of doing so. I have little recollection of the time before I was
assimilated. If I was taught how to swim, I no longer remember how and
I have had no need to learn."
Deanna and Will glanced at each
other as they wondered what to do next. On the one hand they both wanted
to enjoy a dip in the sea, but on the other they felt uncomfortable leaving
Seven out of the fun while they enjoyed themselves. Before they could reach
a solution, Reg solved their dilemma for them.
"Don't worry, Seven. I've never
liked to swim. We can take a walk along the beach while the others swim."
"That would be acceptable,"
Seven stated, with a small smile at her colleague.
"Well if you're sure?" Deanna
waited for Barclay's confirmatory nod before continuing. "Come on, Will,
what are you waiting for?"
Deanna sprinted off towards
the ocean leaving Will to race after her. He caught up with her, swung
her into his arms and ran into the sea before dropping her, screaming,
into the water. Reg and Seven watched the laughing couple for a moment
then set off down the beach. They walked in silence for a few minutes before
Seven turned to her companion with a question.
"I am curious. I have observed
that Counselor Troi and Commander Riker often appear to communicate without
speaking. I know that the counselor is half betazoid and therefore has
some telepathic abilities but it is my understanding that Commander Riker
is fully human. Does he have abilities of which I am unaware?"
"No, you're right, the commander
isn't normally telepathic but it's different with Deanna, they're Imzadi."
"I am unfamiliar with that term.
Explain please."
"I'm not sure that I really
understand it myself. It's a betazoid word meaning 'beloved' but it's more
than that. It's a special bond they share, they can explain it better than
I can but it enables them to share their thoughts and their emotions. It's
very rare for a human to become linked to a betazoid in that way." Reg
looked wistful. "Commander Riker is a very lucky man."
"You envy him?"
"How could I not? Deanna is
a very special woman."
"You would like to have a romantic
relationship with her." It was a statement not a question.
"I suppose I would," Reg admitted,
"but I know it won't happen, so I've stopped fantasising about the possibility.
She's happy with Commander Riker and they share something special. I wouldn't
do anything to spoil that for them. I just have to hope that one day I
can make someone as happy as he makes her."
"I have no doubt that you will,
Reg."
Reg stopped in his tracks, surprised
both by the unexpected warmth of her statement and her first use of his
given name. Regaining his composure he hurried after her and they returned
to their picnic spot in companionable silence.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The picnic basket was empty
and they were relaxing as they digested their
meal. Will was sprawled on the blanket as he dozed in the sunshine, his
head in Deanna's lap. Reg had half covered himself with sand as protection
from the sun and was snoring gently from under the hat that covered his
face.
"May I ask you a question, Counselor?"
Seven was seated with her back
against a tree and had been deep in thought until she broke the silence
with her query.
"Of course, Seven. What is it?"
Deanna was curious to know what had been troubling the ex-Borg.
"Lieutenant Barclay has informed
me that you and Commander Riker have formed a bond that is termed 'Imzadi'
and that this bond enables you to share your thoughts. In the collective
we shared one thought and one will, is that how it is with you and the
commander?"
"Oh no, not at all! Yes, we
can communicate telepathically, but our thoughts are our own until we chose
to share them. Unless Will opens his mind to me, I can no more hear his
thoughts than I can yours."
"If that is so then why is this
bond considered special? It is my understanding that telepathic communication
is normal for betazoids and not unknown in humans."
"Being Imzadi means more than
being able to share our thoughts. To be Imzadi is to share hopes and dreams,
happiness and tears, weakness and strength. I feel Will's presence in every
fibre of my being, even when we are apart. I know what he wants and what
he needs. The bond we share allows me to love him and understand him, to
accept him without needing to change him. It's a connection that we feel
in our minds, in our hearts and in our souls. In betazoid the term Imzadi
means beloved but it also means 'the first'. Will is the first person who
was able to touch my soul, the first person to make me feel whole, the
first person I gave my heart to and received his in return. He is my beloved
and whatever may happen in the future he will always be my first, my Imzadi."
Seven paused to consider Deanna's
words then nodded her understanding, but one thing was still puzzling her.
"Admiral Janeway told me that
it was many years after your first meeting before you began your current
relationship. Did you feel this bond when you first met? If you did, why
did it take you so long to act on your feelings?"
"Actually I hated him at first,"
Deanna looked fondly down at Will, "but it didn't take long before I changed
my mind. I think we both realised that what we felt was unusual and very
special, but we were young and it was complicated. Will was just starting
out on his career. I was still studying on Betazed. I think we were both
afraid to make a commitment at that time and later, when we were reunited
on the Enterprise, we settled for being close friends. It was easier to
stay that way than possibly risk our working relationship by giving in
to our feelings."
"It appears that it is common
to be afraid of acting on such feelings. Admiral Janeway expressed similar
concerns regarding her relationship with Commander Chakotay."
"You talked to her about that?"
Deanna was amazed.
"Certainly, you advised me that
I should."
Deanna suppressed a groan and
wondered how she could ensure that she didn't encounter Admiral Janeway
for the next decade or two. The poor woman would never forgive her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The afternoon passed in quiet
conversation and companionable silence. As the sun began to set Deanna
and Will took a stroll down the beach leaving Seven and Reg alone. Seven
was lost in thought and Reg grew concerned as he watched her studying a
nearby family with a wistful expression.
"Are you alright, Seven?"
Seven started at the sound of
her name and turned her attention back to her companion.
"I was observing the other groups
around us. There are many families here who seem to be enjoying themselves,
it made me wonder if my parents ever took me to the beach. I regret that
I have no memory of such occasions."
"Do you have any memories of
your childhood?"
"I recall some incidents from
my time on the Raven, I remember the sound of my father's voice and the
smell of my mother's perfume, but I have no memory of being on earth or
of my family here. The assimilation process suppresses such memories and
although I had hoped that they would return they have not yet done so."
"Perhaps your family could help.
Didn't you say that you had an Aunt who was anxious to see you?"
"She has invited me to visit
her, but I have not yet done so."
"Don't you think it's time you
did?"
Seven thought for a moment before
nodding slowly.
"I believe that it is."
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
"Annika! Welcome! Come in, come
in!"
Irene Hansen threw open the
door to her home and ushered her niece inside.
"I was so thrilled to get your
message saying you were coming to visit. Now stand back and let me look
at you."
Seven stood in bewildered silence,
as her aunt looked her up and down. Irene nodded in satisfaction.
"You're your parents' daughter
that's for sure. Now come and sit down and tell me all about yourself.
I want to hear everything!"
Irene led her niece out to the
back porch and settled her in a wicker chair. She poured two glasses of
lemonade before turning to look expectantly at Seven.
"I am not sure what you wish
to know."
"Like I said – everything! Tell
me what you've been up to since you got home. How does it feel to be back?
Why did it take you so long to come visit?"
"After Starfleet decided that
I did not pose a threat to the Federation they offered me a position within
the Engineering department at Headquarters. I am aiding in the development
of enhanced astrometrics laboratories for integration into Starships. The
laboratory aboard Voyager was significantly improved by the inclusion of
Borg technology. The aim is to share that technology with the rest of the
fleet. It is interesting work."
"I'm sure it is." Irene sounded
totally disinterested. "I'm glad you're enjoying your work, how about outside
of work. Is it good to be home?"
"I do not regard Earth as home
since I have no memory of living here as a child. What memories I have
from my childhood are of being aboard the
Raven. Voyager was the closest to a home that I have known and I have found
returning to Earth to be unsettling."
"Is that why it's taken you
so long to come see me?"
"Perhaps so. It has taken me
some time to adjust to leaving Voyager. On the ship people were familiar
with my appearance, but on Earth I am an object of curiosity and sometimes
hatred. It is unpleasant to be subject to such intense scrutiny wherever
I go."
"It must be hard." Irene's voice
was rich with sympathy. "But you are my niece, my brother's child, it doesn't
matter to me if you are Borg or human. You are family and that is the only
thing that counts."
Seven smiled at her aunt.
"I would like to learn more
about my family and especially about my parents. I have little memory of
them and yet you say I am my parents' child. I am curious as to how I resemble
them. I have seen no likeness in the images in the Starfleet database."
"You have your father's height
and build, but your eyes come from your mother. She had that same determined
gaze. I'd know it anywhere and you had it even as a small child."
"Did I visit you often?"
"Whenever your parents needed
a sitter, which was at least twice a week. They left you here when they
went to meetings at Starfleet. That was before they left the 'fleet to
pursue their own research."
Seven detected the veiled anger
in her voice.
"You believe they made the wrong
decision."
"They were free to make their
own choices, but they shouldn't have taken you with them. It was never
any kind of life for a child and they should never have exposed you to
that risk. We knew nothing about the Borg at that time, but going into
an uncharted area of space was bound to be dangerous. I wanted to keep
you here with me, but they refused. When you left I thought I'd never see
you again." Her eyes filled with tears at the memory.
"They thought that they could
protect me. I do not blame them for what the Borg did to us, they had no
chance to resist. I was happy on the Raven, all that mattered to me was
that I was with my parents and that they loved me. I do not regret that
they took me with them. You should not either."
"It's hard not to be bitter
when I think what the Borg did to my little Annie. They even took your
name and replaced it with a number."
"The Borg system of designations
is more efficient, names would be confusing within the collective."
Irene sighed.
"I know, but you're not in the
collective now. Why do you continue to use Seven? It's such an ugly name."
"When Admiral Janeway separated
me from the collective it was the only name I knew. I had no memory of
my life before I was assimilated and the name Annika meant nothing to me.
I kept the name I was familiar with because so much was changing and I
needed to have something remain constant. It was hard to find my identity
as an individual. It was suggested that I revert to my human name, but
Annika was a child and a stranger. I didn't feel like Annika Hansen then
and I didn't believe that I ever would."
"And now?"
"Now I don't know, I no longer
consider myself to be Borg but I am still discovering what it means to
be human. Perhaps one day I will feel like Annika again."
"You will always be Annika to
me, so I hope you'll forgive me if I continue to call you that. I'm too
old to change now."
"I would like it if you did.
Perhaps it will help me to remember more about my family."
"Oh, I can do far more to help
you with that. Let me get my photo albums." She leapt to her feet and hurried
into the house. Seven watched her go then turned back to survey her surroundings.
Sitting there on the porch she felt a new sense of warmth and security,
suddenly this place seemed safe and familiar. She frowned, wondering if
her imagination was playing tricks on her. Could it be that she remembered
her aunt's home? Wrapped up in her thoughts she didn't hear Irene return
and was startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Is something wrong, Annika?"
Irene asked with concern.
Seven glanced up at her aunt
then indicated towards a tall tree at the end of the yard. It was a sturdy
specimen with wide sweeping branches and dense foliage.
"Was there once a treehouse
in that tree?" she asked hesitantly.
Irene's face broke into a beaming
smile.
"You remember!" she exclaimed
in delight. "It's still there, come see!"
Irene practically dragged her
niece to the foot of the tree. Seven stood gazing up into the branches
where she was able to make out the shape of a small cabin perched among
the boughs.
"I loved to hide away up there,"
she said softly. "You would bring me cookies and lemonade and I would stay
there until you forced me to come down."
"I never knew what you did up
there. For such a young child you were remarkably self-reliant, but I always
knew where to find you," Irene remembered. She wrapped an arm around Seven's
waist pulling her close and together they stood in silence staring at the
home of their shared memories.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sometime later they were once
more settled on the porch and Irene could stand it no longer.
"Annie, I've just got to ask,
why do you wear such dreadful clothes?"
Seven looked down at her dark
red catsuit.
"My garments were designed by
the doctor to protect my dermoplastic grafts following the removal of my
Borg implants."
"That's lovely, dear, I'm sure
he did a wonderful job but do you still need them?"
"It is no longer necessary that
I wear them, the grafts are now fully integrated into by own skin. However,
I am accustomed to this clothing and have not felt the need to adopt another
form of dress."
"Well you should," Irene was
blunt. "You say that you dislike the attention your appearance receives
and yet you dress in such a way that no man within a hundred metres could
fail to appreciate your, ummm, assets." Her hands outlined exaggerated
curves. "Frankly my dear, you look like one of those dolls that grown men
design for little girls, but which owe more to their own vision of a playmate
than that of a child. You're a strikingly beautiful young woman, but you
have a brain too. Make sure that it's your face that people talk to, not
your breasts."
Seven was silent for a moment
as she considered her aunt's words.
"Perhaps you are right. Would
you assist me in choosing more appropriate attire?"
Irene was delighted.
"I thought you'd never ask,
come with me."
She led the way into the house
and twenty minutes later Seven was standing in front of a mirror studying
her reflection. She was dressed in navy blue leggings and a pale blue v-necked
top in a finely knitted fabric that draped softly from her shoulders lightly
skimming her breasts and hips before ending at mid-thigh. Her hair had
been freed from its harsh pleat and was clipped at the nape of her neck
by a silver clasp.
"Well? What do you think?" Irene
was anxious to hear Seven's verdict.
"I look...different."
"You look like your mother,"
Irene decided.
Seven shook her head.
"No," she whispered. "No, I
don't. I look like Annika."
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
"Annika, have you seen the padd
with the specs for Defiant class vessels?" Reg Barclay rummaged frantically
through the stack of padd's on the desk.
"I believe you took it home
with you last night. Did you not bring it back this morning?"
"Damn it, no! I left it on my
desk. I'll have to go get it, I need to finish this report today."
Reg hurried to the door only
to come to an abrupt stop as he encountered a figure in the doorway.
"Data! What are you doing here?
I thought the Enterprise was on a diplomatic mission to Daled IV?"
"My presence was not required
aboard the Enterprise. I have been attending a conference on matrix transfer
technology."
"It's good to see you, Data.
I haven't seen you since Doctor Zimmerman's sentience hearing. Oh," Reg
suddenly remembered that there was someone else present, "do you remember
Annika Hansen?"
Data turned to her and inclined
his head in greeting.
"Indeed I do, although I believe
that you have changed you name since we last met, Miss Hansen."
"I have found that since my
return to Earth I have felt a greater connection to my humanity. It no
longer seemed appropriate to use my Borg designation."
"I have often wished that I
could become human. I would be interested to hear how it feels for a human
to become a machine."
Annika paused for a moment as
she considered the question.
"The Borg cease to experience
emotion when they are assimilated and so there is no 'feeling' associated
with the process. I have no recollection of becoming Borg and when I was
freed from the collective being Borg was all that I remembered. Becoming
Borg was easy, reclaiming my individuality has been far harder."
"Do you regret leaving the collective?"
"At first I wished to return,
I found the silence in my mind disturbing, but that is no longer the case.
I am anxious to learn more about what it means to be human. The greatest
challenge is learning how to feel. I have found it hard to interpret my
emotions and express my feelings. Did you experience similar problems when
your emotion chip was first installed?"
"I suspect that it was easier
for me. I had to learn the significance of the physical symptoms I was
experiencing, but since my emotions are programmed rather than natural
I experience each emotion in the same way each time that subroutine is
triggered. It is my understanding that human emotion is considerably more
complex."
"So I have found," said Annika
ruefully. "I have found that emotions are not always appropriate to the
situation that provokes them."
"I have observed that humans
often react to situations in the same way as one or other of their parents.
It seems that there is a genetic aspect to emotion that makes nature as
well as nurture important when considering an individual's likely reaction
to any set of circumstances. Certainly, when programming my emotion chip,
my creator based my emotional response upon his own. Therefore I will react
to events much as he would. Perhaps you should seek answers to some of
your questions from members of your family."
"I will do so the next time
I visit my Aunt."
"Do you visit her often?"
"I had not visited her at all
until recently, but now that I have done so I hope to see her more frequently."
"Family is important to humans.
I imagine that she was anxious to meet you. I am surprised that you did
not visit her earlier. You have been on Earth for nearly ten months. Did
you feel no desire to see her?"
"I am unsure how I felt. I was
curious to meet her and learn more about my family and my childhood, but
I was also afraid to do so."
"You were afraid of what you
might learn from her?" Data turned an inquiring gaze on Annika.
"No, I think I was afraid of
disappointing her. She knew me as a child, but I am a different person
now, the Borg changed me and I may not have been what she expected. I was
afraid that she would not like what she saw."
"Humans have a great capacity
for understanding and forgiveness, especially towards their families. It
is likely that she was happy just to have the chance to get to know you
as are now. I believe that the expression that is used is 'warts and all'."
Annika frowned.
"That is an extremely ugly expression."
"It is," Data agreed. "But I
believe that is the point."
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
The communications console bleeped
to indicate an incoming transmission. Looking up to find that she was alone
in the laboratory, Annika crossed the room and opened the comm line. Her
eyes widened in surprise as she recognised the face on the screen.
"Doctor, it has been a long
time. How are you?"
"Seven? I was expecting to see
Lieutenant Barclay." The Doctor's surprise was evident. "You look different!
Wonderful!"
"Thank you Doctor, and please,
call me Annika. I have ceased using my Borg designation."
"Well then, you must call me
Joe!"
"Reg told me that you had decided
to honour Joe Carey in your choice of name. It is an excellent choice,
Lieutenant Carey was a very special man."
"He certainly was. I'm proud
to carry his name."
The awkward silence was broken
by Annika.
"I have been wanting to contact
you, but I was unsure if you would wish to see me. I was insensitive in
my behaviour toward you while we were on Voyager and during your trial.
I hope you can forgive me."
"Of course I want to see you,
Se-Annika. I have missed our friendship."
"As have I. I did not appreciate
the value of friendship until my return to Earth. I have had much to learn
and I have been fortunate to meet some wonderful people who have helped
me understand more about the nature of friendship and love."
"That's marvellous, Annika.
I'm glad you haven't been alone."
"They have taught me well and
I am grateful for their friendship, but no one has cared for me in the
way that you once did. You told me last year that you loved me and I ignored
your feelings. That was cruel of me and I am sorry. You will always be
my dearest and most trusted friend. I don't know if you still feel the
same way, or if I will ever be able to return your love, but I want you
to know that I do care for you deeply. Perhaps in time, if we were to resume
out friendship, we could become closer."
The doctor's face was alight
with pleasure.
"Just to have your friendship
is enough for me. There's no need to rush into anything more."
"I have no intention of hurrying,"
Annika stated solemnly. "I have learned that if a relationship is meant
to be it grows stronger with time. If we are meant to be more than friends
then we will know when the moment is right."
"We have plenty of time to find
out. Perhaps we could start by having dinner. Would you care to join me
here tomorrow night?"
"I should like that."
"Wonderful," the Doctor beamed.
"See you tomorrow!"
With one last farewell the Doctor
ended the transmission, forgetting that he had failed in his original intent
to speak with Reginald Barclay, leaving Annika to return to her work with
a lighter heart and a happy smile.
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
The door to the lab slid open
to reveal a nervous looking cadet. His gaze scanned the room until he found
his target. With some trepidation he approached the tall blonde woman working
at a console in the corner. Annika turned as he approached, smiling inwardly
as she watched him struggle to speak.
"Can I help you, Cadet?"
"No, Ma'am. I mean yes, Ma'am.
I have a message for you, Ma'am," he stuttered, holding out the padd he
carried.
"Thank you, Cadet," she said,
taking the padd. "Were you instructed to wait for a reply?"
"No, Ma'am."
"Then you may leave. Unless
there was something else?"
"No, Ma'am. Thank you, Ma'am,"
he turned and hurried out of the room.
Annika watched him leave then
turned her attention the padd in her hand. A frown creased her brow as
she studied its contents. Her change of expression caught Reg Barclay's
attention.
"Bad news?" he inquired.
"It's a request for assistance
from the team working on turning Voyager into a museum. Lieutenant Anderson
has been contacting the former crew members asking for personal accounts
of Voyager's journey and for articles for the exhibition. He says that
he apologises for the short notice, but I was inadvertently left off the
original contact list." She frowned again. "I am unsure what he wants from
me. All the information is in the ship's logs and I had no personal articles
aboard Voyager."
"I think by accounts of the
journey he means your memories and feelings relating to your time on board.
And didn't you tell me that some people you encountered gave you a blanket?
The Vartu?"
"The Ventu. Yes, they gave me
a blanket, but I fail to see how a blanket would be of interest to anyone.
In any case I would not wish to part with it."
"People are always intrigued
by articles from other cultures, but you don't need to send the blanket,
send in a replica."
"Very well, if you think that
is what they require."
"And I'm sure that you have
some stories to tell about your time on Voyager. You were in a unique situation,
very likely your perspective differs from that of other crewmembers."
"Perhaps, but I am not the same
person now that I was then and I am not sure that I wish to remember those
days. Adjusting to life here on Earth was not easy for me and I need to
look forward not back."
"I know it's been hard, but
you've coped with it wonderfully. I could never have handled what you've
been through, first to be assimilated and then to have to rediscover your
individuality. Captain Picard struggled to recover from his time as Locutus
and that was only a few days. To make the adjustment after so many years
as a drone is an amazing achievement. You are a remarkable woman, Annika."
She turned to smile at him.
"Thank you, Reg, but you have
helped me a great deal. It would have been much harder without your assistance
and that of your friends."
"Our friends, Annika, they're
your friends too now."
"Our friends then, but I have
you to thank for that too," Annika placed a light kiss on the cheek of
the blushing Lieutenant. "Thank you again, Reg"
Embarrassed, Reg hastened to
change the subject.
"If you're going to contribute
to the museum, don't you think you should start sorting through your belongings?"
"Very well, it's time to leave
anyway. Would you help me decide what would make an appropriate exhibit?"
"I'd love to," Reg enthused,
"I love to hear people reminisce about their time on Voyager."
As they left the lab and hurried
off to complete their mission, Annika wondered for a moment whether Icheb
had been equally fortunate since his arrival on Earth. She considered contacting
him to find out, but dismissed the idea. She knew he had left Voyager with
Naomi and Samantha Wildman. Sam was a wonderful woman and Naomi loved Icheb,
he would have all the support he needed.
=^= =^= =^=
=^= =^= =^=
"Aunt Irene?"
"Is that you, Annie? I'm in
the kitchen."
Annika walked into the kitchen
of her aunt's home and set down the box and bag she was carrying.
"This is a wonderful surprise,
I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow," Irene exclaimed happily as she
gave her niece a kiss.
"We had completed the reports
we require for our meeting on Monday so we decided to start the weekend
early," Annika explained. "I hope you don't mind, perhaps I should have
called first."
"Nonsense, you're always welcome
here, you know that," Irene chided. "Why don't you take your things upstairs
and do whatever it is you have to do with that ugly alcove contraption
you had me make room for, warm it up or plug it in." She waved her hand
in distaste. "I'll fix us some lemonade and cookies."
"Very well," Annika picked up
her bag, "but could I have a strawberry milkshake instead?" She turned
a pleading gaze on her aunt.
"Annika Hansen! The amount of
milkshake you drink, you're going to turn into a blimp!" Irene exclaimed
in mock horror.
Annika grinned and left the
room.
A short while later she joined
her aunt on the porch, still carrying the box she had brought with her.
Putting the box on the floor beside her she sat down, took a sip of milkshake,
closed her eyes and sighed with satisfaction.
"Well?"
Annika opened her eyes to find
her aunt glaring at her.
"What?"
"Are you going to tell me what's
in that box you've been lugging around with you, or do I have to guess?"
"I have been sorting through
the belongings I brought from Voyager and I found the logs that Voyager
recovered from the Raven. They contain my parents' field notes and accounts
of our journey. I thought that you might wish to see them."
Irene's eyes filled with tears
at the thought of catching a final glimpse of her brother and his wife.
"Thank you, Annie. You don't
know how much that means to me. Bless you for thinking of me."
"I should like to be with you
when you view them, if that would be acceptable."
"That would be more than acceptable,
that would be wonderful!" Irene was delighted. She peered into the box.
"It looks like it could take a while there are lots here!"
"They recorded every detail
of the journey. It took me many hours to review the logs when Admiral Janeway
first ordered me to do so and there is much that I have not yet seen."
Irene hesitated for a moment
before deciding to say what was on her mind.
"Since it will take so long,
I was wondering, would you consider coming to stay here for a while? More
than a weekend, I mean. A couple of months maybe, even a year? I've been
wanting to ask you but perhaps you'd rather stay in San Francisco?" she
realised that she was babbling, stopped abruptly and looked hopefully at
her niece.
"I should like to stay," Annika
replied. "Thank you for asking me."
"For how long?" Irene was excited.
"For as long as you will have
me."
Irene was stunned.
"You would consider staying
here permanently?"
Annika nodded. "I enjoy being
here with you, it feels..." she searched for the right words, "It feels
like home."
Irene swept her into a warm
embrace.
"Then that's what it is. Welcome
home, Annika"
