The corridors were empty and silent as Harry walked the mile of stairs and twisting hallways to Dumbledore's office. He thought that dancing was probably more appropriate to the occasion, but decided against it in case there were any Slytherins about. He couldn't however, stop grinning. His world had suddenly turned into a wondrous medley of raspberry colors. Ginny had never looked more beautiful than tonight when she was laughing merrily up at him in his arms. He was seriously considering asking her to permanently change her hair color to screaming pink. Knowing her, she probably would. He chuckled at the memory and whacked his head on a low archway. What did he do to deserve a person like Ginny in his life? Rubbing his head absently, he ticked off her qualities --pretty, smart, talented, caring, loyal, funny and …sexy! – better not think about that right now…He felt his face glow warm he hopped on the moving staircase. He leaned against the handrails, smiling at the steps. Better think about something else fast. What did Dumbledore want with him? It was unusual for the headmaster to summon anyone to his office this late in the evening…
He'd only got one final kiss in before Hermione dragged Ginny back to Gryffindor Tower. Really, Hermione was being a bit high-handed – one kiss was hardly enough, especially considering the evening the two had just shared. He realized that he was still carrying his sweater -–the one that Ginny had been wearing under her robes. Until she removed it. He held it to his face and breathed in. Now it smelled like her – a combination of spices and sweet-grass and Ginny.
Harry stepped off and stared at Dumbledore's office door. Uh oh. What was the new password?
"Er, Chocolate Frog?" Nothing happened.
"All right then – Sugarquill?" Silence. Harry was wondering if he would be standing there all night guessing different sweets when the door opened and Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled at him through the crescent moon shaped spectacles.
"Harry! So good of you to join us. Come in! Come in!" Harry followed him into the round office. Fawkes the Phoenix trilled a liquid note of welcome and he stroked his feathers affectionately, looking around in the dim light. He saw that there was someone gazing into the fire that crackled and snapped contentedly. The man turned to face him and threw back the hood of his cloak. Even silhouetted in the firelight, he could recognize him. Sirius!
Harry almost knocked his Godfather over in his haste to embrace him. "Sirius! You're here! We hadn't heard from you since you returned from Bulgaria. We didn't know if you were…." Harry didn't finish. He didn't need to. He could see from Sirius' state that it hadn't been an easy road back. He was almost as thin as when he had first escaped Azkaban. His hair hung in lank tangles past his shoulders once again and his eyes were sunk in their sockets with fatigue and anxiety.
"Harry! " Sirius hugged him as the son he never had. He pulled back and looked him over affectionately. His eyes grew dim for a moment. "You're almost a tall as your father now." His voice broke slightly. A smile lit up his face a moment later. "How are you Harry?"
"Great! I mean – great…" Harry glanced up involuntarily at Dumbledore. As much as he respected and esteemed the Headmaster, there were certain things he just couldn't tell Sirius in from of him.
"Not to worry, Harry," chuckled Dumbledore. "You both will have adequate time to catch up as soon as I see to the courtesies of host. Tea? Or perhaps something a bit more festive to the occasion?" With a wave of his wand, two snifters and a bottle of Ogden's Brambleberry Brandy appeared on the small table in front of the fire. "Of course, there is tea and cakes here if you prefer and I would highly recommend that Harry", he smiled, "exercise an amount of restraint more appropriate to one with little acquaintance with spirits. Of course, you are of age and that decision will be left up to you. If you decide that you would rather drink Madam Pomfrey's hangover potion in the morning, then by all means, you have my blessing. However, I should warn you that it's not a pleasant experience. Somewhat akin to fingernails on a blackboard in liquid form….Sirius, I will speak with you before you leave." With a nod, Dumbledore exited, closing the door quietly behind him.
"So, Harry. Tell me everything! I only received one of your owls while in Bulgaria, I'm afraid. It's been a little, shall we say, inconvenient since returning to England. Sorry I haven't been in touch."
"Sirius! What about you? Where have you been? Do you have news of anyone else? What's going on in the real world?" Harry was a little embarrassed that Sirius was so interested in him when he was the one risking his life against Voldemort and the Death Eaters.
"Time enough for that, eh Harry?" Sirius clasped his shoulder and picked up the bottle. He poured a small amount into each snifter. "Your health!"
"And yours Sirius. It looks like you need it more than I do," Harry stared into the glass before taking a tentative sip. It burned, but not as much as the time he snuck a taste of Uncle Vernon's gin. It really wasn't bad…
Sirius took a larger gulp and sat back. "So catch me up. Any great adventures since I last saw you?"
Harry hesitated. Any adventures? His whole life had changed since he'd last seen or spoken to his godfather. Where to begin? He slowly began telling Sirius everything that had happened in the past year. He felt the welcome relief of unburdening himself that always accompanied his time with this man who was the closest thing he'd ever had to a father. When he got to the day…that day that still brought him nightmares – he stopped and dropped his head. He breathed deeply to steady himself and told of Voldemort's last visit. He hunched over, grasping his knees and stared at the floor. He swallowed but couldn't conceal the quaver in his voice when he told of Ginny's near death – that she should have died, but didn't… He trailed off…still staring stonily at his shoes.
A gentle touch on his shoulder startled him, as the did the soft deep sigh, "Harry, Harry – you're so like your father. More courage than is good for you, a pig-headed determination to see things through til the end…and," he chuckled softly in remembrance, "a complete and utter helplessness in the face of love."
Harry ran the backs of his hands quickly over his eyes and looked up.
"Your father fought demons and death-eaters. He was fearless in the face of the foulest of dark creatures – that's why Voldemort wanted him dead. But one look from Lily would reduce him to a giggling, blushing schoolboy. James gave his life trying to save your mother's Harry, and I know that he would have had it no other way. It looks as if you feel the same about your Ginny."
Dipping his head once more, Harry watched his shoes grow blurry and disappear in a haze of tears. He nodded, loathed to speak until he could contain himself.
Sirius poured more brandy in both glasses. He placed one in Harry's hand and tactfully walked over to stare into the fire. Harry removed his glasses and wiped his face furtively with the sleeve of his robe, then gulped the entire glass of liquor. Warmth spread through him, giving him the courage to look up again.
Sirius, who had been rummaging in a weather-beaten rucksack, turned back to Harry with a smile. "Speaking of your parents Harry, I have a few things I've had hidden over the years. I was going to give these to you anyway – you just offered me the right opportunity." He sat back down and laid three objects on the table. Harry leaned over to examine them.
One was a box – it was small, about the size of a bludger. It was red enamel decorated with gilded flowers and curls. Harry opened it; perplexed. Inside was a miniature framed photograph. He lifted it up and examined it in the flickering firelight. It was a picture of his parents with – a baby. It was him… with his parents. His – mum looked down adoringly at him and planted a soft kiss on his nose, then looked up into her husband's face with eyes that shone like emeralds. His dad put his arm around them both. Neither of them looked older than eighteen and Harry realized with a start that they were probably just twenty. He felt a dull, throbbing ache in his chest to think that they were hardly older than he was now when they had him. He ran a soft fingernail along his mother's long hair. It cascaded around her in a red waterfall – -his mouth dropped open --they looked like… Ginny and himself… James' hair stuck out in every direction and Lily's smiling face was sparkling with freckles. Harry looked up at Sirius wordlessly, opened his mouth to speak, then looked back down at …his family. Harry was struck by the feeling that this was not only his only photograph of himself with his parents, but that it was also a window into his own future – his and Ginny's.
Sirius grinned and leaned back in his chair, content to watch the interplay of emotions across Harry's face.
"Thanks, Sirius…..I don't know what to say…"
"It's all right Harry." He didn't say more. He didn't have to. He picked up the second object. "Here, this is yours too." It was a silver baby's rattle. "Granted, now – I don't think it's of much use at the moment, but it was the first thing your parents bought when they found out that you were on the way." He laughed. "James was stunned – it caught them both by surprise, but oh, when he got used to the idea – he was impossible… Lily couldn't walk two meters without him hovering over her. He would tell her she should sit down, did she need anything? or don't you dare apparate in your condition! She finally put a distracting potion in his goblet one night at dinner so that she could sneak out of the house to go shopping without him nipping at her heels. He spent the whole night without ever noticing until she returned. She taunted him with that one for quite a while!"
Harry felt a release with the shout of laughter they shared. Emotions surged through him; most unrecognizable. These were his parents – made flesh and blood as no photograph could do. They had laughed together, played jokes on one another, and loved one each other …and him.
Sirius poured more brandy for them both. "One for the road. I must be going soon and I still need to speak with Dumbledore."
The reality of the situation came back to Harry with a resounding crash. Sirius was risking his life daily fighting the evil that was threatening their very world and he didn't even know what or how he was doing. "But…Sirius, you haven't told me anything about …about what's going on out there! Please Sirius, I need to know – I can't stand sitting here at Hogwarts knowing that… Voldemort is out there killing and torturing. I'd think", Harry drew himself up, "that I've at least earned that much."
Sirius stood up and turned to stare into the fire. "Yes, Harry – you've earned it. Make no mistake, if I wasn't putting others at risk by confiding in anyone, you would know all. I'm not trying to protect you by my silence, but many, many others. " Sirius turned back to face him. He was grave now. His face, which had looked so young as he reminisced, looked old again. "But there is something you do need to know – part of the reason I'm here tonight. Harry, I need for you to not only hear what I say, but take it very seriously. Dumbledore has filled me in on your exploits a few years ago when everyone thought I was trying to kill you. Despite all attempts to keep you safe, you chose to ignore your best interests in favor of many, no doubt exciting exploits. You're not a child anymore – I trust that you know that I don't see you that way,"
Harry was startled and a little embarrassed to have his past sins held up to the light. He nodded slowly.
"Our intelligence sources with the Death Eaters informs us that there is a dark wizard here in Hogsmead. He hasn't been identified, but we're working on that now. Harry, he's here to track you. Voldemort knows that he can't touch you here at Hogwarts, so he's looking for ways to get you away from here and Dumbledore. You can not, I repeat, can not risk being seen there.
Harry opened his mouth to protest. "Please, Harry – indulge me a moment more. I'm not finished." Sirius continued. "I'm sure that our local Death Eater friend would be happy with any information he can gather whether it's about you or not, but you are the main target. I don't mind telling you that you are a very valuable person to our side and now is not the time for you to be taking risks. I daresay that at some point in the future, you will be called upon to fight. In the meantime, no matter how frustrating it is, you need to keep yourself safe." His voice softened slightly. " I know that this is hard to hear. You've done more than your fair share of fighting the Dark Lord – no one is disputing that, but please, Harry – I need for you to believe that this isn't just a worried Godfather trying to keep his Godchild safe. This is for real. "
Harry was silent. Yes, Sirius knew him well. The thought of cowering at the Hogwarts when he was being actively hunted went against his every instinct. How could he be expected to just hide when there was so much that needed to be done on the outside? Didn't he have the right to at least fight back? No…apparently not yet. He believed his Godfather when he said that he wasn't just trying to keep him safe. Not only did Harry trust him, but some instinct inside agreed that there would be a time and a place to confront Voldemort. This wasn't it. Painfully, he nodded.
He watched Sirius' taut figure relax. "I'll believe it Harry. If you say you won't, I'll trust you. It will take an amount of sacrifice on your part. Dumbledore has chosen not to cancel all leaves to Hogsmead. It would not do to let Voldemort know that we are aware of his plans. We have high hopes of capturing this person. It could be invaluable to us."
There was a brisk knock on the door and Dumbledore entered." I am sorry gentlemen. I'm sure that this visit has not been sufficient for you, but I'm afraid that you shall have to be content. Harry, it's very late and it looks as if you shared quite liberally in the libations. He smiled amusedly, his eyes sparkling. "You would do well to go to bed. Sirius, if you would be so kind as to meet me in the owlery, we will finish our business and you can be on your way. I'm sure that you are anxious to go." Sirius nodded silently.
Dumbledore nodded once and exited.
"Harry, I'm very sorry to have to leave you like this – you have no idea how much I'd like to spend more than a few stolen hours with my only Godson." Sirius smiled sadly. He walked over and clasped his hand. Harry was stunned. Everything had happened so quickly. How did such a great visit end on such a grim note? His brandy-addled brain was whirling. Sirius was leaving – going out again into their war-torn world. He might never see him again and there was nothing he could do to help. He was to be a hot-house flower -- a fatted calf waiting quietly until the powers-that-be determined that his time had come. Whenever that would be.
"Good -- goodbye, Sirius…Thank you …for everything. " Harry faltered, starting to feel the combined effects of the brandy and the exhaustion from much too much emotional seesawing.
Sirius shook his hand then, smiling sadly – pulled him into a quick embrace. "Remember what I said. I trust you Harry. You'll hear from me as soon as I can get word, but it will be a while, I'm afraid." Harry nodded.
Without another word, his Godfather strode from the room. Harry stood silently staring after him. Suddenly he was overcome by a surge of hatred. He hated every Death Eater and every dark wizard and especially, he hated Voldemort. They had once again forced him to be alone and would not stop until Harry and everyone he loved was dead. They had already been successful with his parents…Harry's eyes dropped down to the table. There, next to the empty glasses and almost empty bottle, were the only physical ties to his parents. The hatred drained from him as he picked up the box, the rattle, and…what was this? Sirius had left before explaining it. It was a ribbon or maybe a cord, about a meter in length. It was very pretty – embroidered with red, gold and blue flowers. Harry held it up in the firelight. Was it a necklace? He sighed. It was just one more thing in his life interrupted and unexplained. He had to believe that Sirius would return and tell him the story of this. He had to.
He turned to go and felt an odd spinning in his head. Wow. He had been proud of the fact that he could match the older man drink for drink, but it seemed that the effect had just been delayed. Holding his parent's last gifts to him, he made his way out of the office. He only staggered a little. The next day, he couldn't remember getting back to his bed, just the enveloping darkness as his head hit his pillow. He slept.