A/N:
Be sure to visit the new home of the QoHG at Gryffindortower.net, where you can
find this, along with other great stories there.
Chapter Ten: Conversations
and Conclusions
Harry
was packing. He knew that he had to
travel light and there was so much he couldn't leave behind, like his
invisibility cloak and the Firebolt. Reducing spells were only able to shrink so much. At least he didn't have to pack food or
stuff for camping out. Dumbledore was
sending him to a safe-house by floo-powder. From there he could lay low, gather information and figure out his next
step.
He
picked up the framed picture from the Yule Ball last year – where he and Ginny
had shared their first kiss. She'd
looked so beautiful and he had been almost drunk with infatuation. He smiled slightly as he watched her stretch
up on tip-toes to whisper in his ear. Not much had changed there. He
placed it carefully next to the photo of his parents with him as a baby,
pausing to watch his mother kiss his nose softly. He carefully wrapped them in a sock that was too ragged even for
Ginny to steal and placed them in his backpack.
Ginny
and he had said very little after their collision in the hallway. If he'd been in the mood to joke, he could
have said that it had knocked some sense into them. But he didn't. Once
Ginny's sobs had abated, he'd pulled her up and led her back to Gryffindor
Tower. The common room had been empty
but he didn't pause. Once they'd
climbed the spiral staircase to his room, he'd kicked the door shut and pulled
her down to his bed. School rules
seemed pointless and stupid now. There,
the tears flowed again and they held each other. It was silent accept for the sound of soft sobs. They had said everything that needed to be
said. Together they felt the sun go
down and dusk spread over the room, chilling them. When Harry pulled his blankets over them, she had kissed him,
boldly and aggressive with need. He had
undressed her then, quickly shedding his own robes in his hurry to press
himself against her bare flesh. Once
there however, he forced himself to go slowly. They entwined themselves for a long time, lips clinging with desperate
love and longing. Harry memorized each
curve and hollow with light hands and a still lighter tongue. Her eyes were a jumble of naked emotion, one
minute love-filled, the next minute damp with fear, then finally burning with
passion. When they merged the shock of
intimacy made them both gasp out loud. They moved together slowly, their fear and uncertainty ebbing as reality
pulled away and grew smaller and smaller in the distance. When Ginny suddenly rolled upward and gazed
down at him through tousled bronze hair, all control left as he pulled her
against his rhythmic movements. His
hoarse groan mingled with her cries as she collapsed on him with a convulsive
shudder. Their lips met with abandon as
the flames settled into glowing embers that warmed them for the moment. If they could only carry it with them…
They'd
slept little that night. They had
talked about Quidditch and Transfiguration. She told him every story about the Weasley family she could think of. When she stopped he begged like a child for
another. He made her recite Muggle poetry
from memory then teased her when she forgot parts. Eventually her store of rhymes faltered and they lay together
quietly, staring at the canopy. The
cold that only comes right before sunrise was stealing over them and they both
turned wordlessly to the window to watch the faint blue of dawn spread slowly
over the black night. Her body moulded
to his as he wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he dared. Ginny broke the silence. She recited one more poem; her voice soft
and slightly choked– it faltered and broke when it came to the end
"Thou art my life, my love, my heart
And hast
command of every part
To live and
die for thee."
With a wave of
pain, the image of Ginny's pale unconscious face as she lay in some gray world
between life and death swam before his eyes. He again experienced the interminable tick of waiting by her bedside,
helpless except to read the poem she had cherished. He felt the clarity of the words now as he had the first
time. The memory was a soft knife that
seemed to draw blood without a cut. The
wound was deep and welled up, overflowing. Ginny must have felt his tears as they fell on her hair because she
turned. He pressed his face into the
pillow as if to hide them, but she gently tilted his chin so that he couldn't. As he looked into her clear brown eyes, he
saw a flash of….determination? She stroked his hair off of his forehead as she
spoke.
"Remember when
I finally woke up from the curse and you showed me the poem? You told me that it…gave a voice to – how
you felt about…about me…"
He nodded
silently, still not trusting himself to speak.
"Well then, I
command every part of you. And I
command you to live –not die for me,
understand?" Her voice quavered and
dropped to a whisper. "You will come
back to me. You have to. You're my life…my love… my –" she drew in a
shaking breath. "--heart." She turned
back to curl into him as the night sky continued it's inevitable fade into
blue.
Harry wondered
dazedly if this was what a broken heart felt like. The ache in his chest threatened all his resolve. He felt the words "I won't go" surge up to
his lips as if driven by some invisible angel. It would all be so simple. He
imagined the love and light that would erupt in her eyes when he told her. He could feel her tears of joy mingling with
his own as they laughed and cried at the same time.
He literally
clamped down on his jaw until it hurt.
He couldn't
stay. Every minute they spent together
was borrowed time. He could postpone
the pain; he could run away from it, but it would follow. Eventually it would catch up. Then the choice would be made and she would
be torn from him and he would lose her forever. Gone was the lofty intent to help save the wizarding world. At that moment, his motives were purely selfish. Voldemort could take it all with his
blessing if he could just have Ginny safe by his side. But it wouldn't work that way.
Harry tied his
backpack with an air of finality. There, that was done at least. He had one last evening with the people most important to him.
When he
entered the Gryffindor common room, three pairs of eyes turned to him
accusingly.
"So Harry,
when were you going to tell us that my whole family was in danger?" asked Ron
stiffly. "Or did you assume that we
were too weak to handle it? So the
Great Harry Potter decided to keep the scary information to himself?"
"Ron and I
went to see Dumbledore ourselves, Harry. He told us everything," added Hermione softly.
Harry's eyes
darted over to the small figure in the corner. Her arms hugged her knees. She
looked briefly back, then turned away.
"I..I was
going to tell you. Things just – got
mixed up. Starting happening too
fast…I'm sorry…" Harry stammered. He sat down limply. How could he explain? How could he tell them that he'd been so
wrapped up in his own pain to remember them? He couldn't. He didn't even want
to admit it to himself.
"Well, I'm
sorry if my family's safety isn't a priority in your life, but they are in mine
and I deserved to know. You know that
this changes things for all of us, don't you Harry? This isn't just about you and Voldemort anymore. Can't you just look past Ginny for one
minute at the rest of us?"
Harry almost
reeled from the unexpected attack. Yes,
he'd been a selfish git, but he was NOT going to let Ron think he didn't care
about the Weasleys.
"Ron. I'm sorry. I handled this all wrong. I was
selfish and I was…too wrapped up in…us…" his eyes drifted over to the
hunched red figure. She glanced up at
him. Her knees relaxed slightly. "But don't think for one minute that I don't
care about your family! Why do you
think I'm leaving? I hadn't made up my
mind when I went to Dumbledore's office!" Anger and sorrow clashed together and he raised his voice
unintentionally. "When I left, nothing
had changed except for one thing – I couldn't stand by and watch your family
--- MY FAMILY – get hunted down by Death-Eaters! Not if I could take down at least ONE of them in their defense!"
Harry hung his
head, breathing heavily. He felt like his
chest was going to explode; like he'd just run a race to the top of Gryffindor
Tower. In the silence that followed his
outburst, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Peering up, he saw Ron.
"Sorry
Harry," he said gruffly." I knew that…I mean, I didn't mean it when I
said…you know."
Harry
gaped. Ron wasn't given to touching and
hugging, except for his family and Hermione of course. Neither was he, for that matter. He reached up and clasped the hand.
"Uh…thanks,"
he muttered. Ron flushed slightly and
backed away. Harry turned hopefully
toward Ginny. She was looking steadily
at him. She nodded slightly and held
out her hand. Harry grabbed it and
dropped to her side.
"I'm so sorry
Gin," he whispered smoothing the riotous hair from her face.
She looked him
in the eye and said softly, "Ron's right. This does change
everything. Harry, I've decided to –"
Hermione, not
hearing, interrupted, "When Ron said that this changes everything – well, he
meant it. He and I have talked all
day." She glanced at Ron who mock
glared at her. "OK, argued is more
like, but the end result was the same. We're leaving too. Together. With you if you want."
Ginny whirled
around.
"What?" she
cried. "Ron! You didn't tell me that! So you're accusing Harry of hiding the truth but it's OK when it's
you! Did it at all occur to you
that…How dare --" she pulled away from
Harry as if he'd suddenly become a Slytherin.
Ron looked at
her pleadingly. "Gin, I wasn't hiding
it from you. We'd only just
decided. It's Mum and Dad now! Besides, this is it. It's now or never. They need every witch and wizard they can find now and…well…I
just really, really need to go!"
"Well, so do
I!" Ginny spat back, two bright spots
appearing on her cheeks.
Shock seized
Harry and the words came before he could check them. "Well you're not!"
The brown eyes
that could caress him so lovingly turned on him, blazing with fury.
"Oh yeah,
Harry. OK. You want me safe, right? Do you really think that if I stay here hiding at Hogwarts, I'll be
safe? Tell me this – just how many
targets do I have on my back? Count'em!" she almost shrieked. For one second, Harry thought she was hysterical. She wasn't making any sense…
"Ginny, don't
be stupid – " Ron was cut short. She
turned on him.
"What did you
say?" her words were soft and deadly.
Her brother
faltered. "I just…I mean…"
Ginny was on
her feet. She was visibly shaking.
"All
right! Since I'm the only one that
wants to play "50 Reasons to Kill Ginny," I'll start. OK – ONE!" she held up a finger. "I'm the girlfriend of HARRY POTTER! Need I say more? TWO! -- I'm a Weasley! Wow!" she pressed the back of her hand to her head dramatically,
"I actually rate a death threat WITHOUT Harry Potter! Oh the humanity! THREE! – He KNOWS that I'm
exactly one half of the people in the world to survive Avada Kadavra! Now I'm a nuisance that doesn't know when to
check out. Not to mention a nasty blow
to his pride. And FOUR! – last but oh, no – NOT at all the
least!" She paused dramatically. "I've been Voldemort's favorite whipping
girl for a long, long time! Almost as
long as you, Harry! He's enjoyed it
this far – why shouldn't he want his favorite toy back?"
Her shoulders
slumped. She looked like she wanted to
cry, but wouldn't. Harry opened his
mouth to speak, but she put out a warning hand.
"Oh, I'm not
done yet. I don't think I've quite
driven home my point. My point is this:
As far as Voldemort's concerned – I'm a dead girl. Whether I stay here and live with the agony of waiting or I go
and fight – he's got a Dark Mark with my name already engraved on it. But now he's after every single person in
the world that I care about! Not just
you, Harry! So maybe…just MAYBE I can
go and maybe do some good for the war before he kills me. Like you said, Harry – even if I can keep
just ONE Death-Eater from hurting my family or someone else's, I can feel like
my life was worth something. Something
more than a footnote in a history book chapter about Harry Potter."
She sat down
with a thud on the floor. She didn't
look up. Harry was frozen to the spot
where he'd leapt at Ginny's first words. His brain couldn't seem to process the information. It just wouldn't fit into any of the
hundreds of game plans he'd played out in his mind.
"Ginny," he
said finally, kneeling down to touch her. She didn't move. "Ginny. Please. Don't you think I know that Voldemort wants you dead? That's all the more reason for you to stay
here. Besides, I can't do this knowing
that you'll be in even more
danger…" He jumped out of the way just
in time as she swung blindly at him.
"Harry! What do I have to say to make you get it
through your thick head? THIS ISN'T
ABOUT YOU! This is about ME and my
family and my…sanity…" her voice dropped to a whisper. "Did you ever stop and think for ONE minute
Harry? For one brief shining moment,
can you imagine the fear you would have for my safety if you knew I was in
danger?" She glared at him, willing him
to answer. Harry nodded haltingly. "How does it feel Harry? The day I was in Hogsmeade and you were
terrified that I'd been seen by a spy – HOW DID IT FEEL? When you were totally helpless to find me
because you'd promised Sirius you wouldn't leave the grounds? How about those few times when I actually
walked into the girl's bathroom ALONE these past few weeks? HOW…DID…IT…FEEL?"
Harry just
stared. He saw what was coming. He didn't want to feel it, didn't want to
think about the horrible waiting and worrying.
"Are you
feeling it Harry?" Ginny's shoulders
and breast were heaving with anger. "Are YOU? Well, welcome to my
world Harry! Welcome! I was a good girl. I knew you'd have to leave. I cried, but I never, never once told you not to go! I knew I'd have to watch you go and possibly
die. But Harry, I've spent my entire
life waiting and watching and worrying! Well, a person can only worry about so many people before she has to
act. -- do something – ANYTHING! And guess what? I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT!"
She jumped to
her feet and ran for the portrait hole. Harry didn't even have a chance to move; Ron and Hermione were still
frozen in shock. Ginny leapt to the
door, only to jump back from the hole with a cry of surprise.
Dumbledore
climbed through the entrance calmly and surveyed the group.
"Please
forgive my intrusion. But I was on my
way to speak with all of you and I couldn't help but overhear some of your last
remarks, Miss Weasley –"
"Neither could
anyone else in Britain," muttered Ron, who immediately looked frightened.
The Headmaster
smiled at Ginny. She stared back
defiantly as if daring him to give her an order.
"Could I beg
your indulgence and ask you all to sit down? Please, Miss Weasley. I think
you will be very interested in what I have to say."
Everyone sat
down stiffly, Hermione and Ron exchanged glances. Harry stared blankly, Ginny angrily. Dumbledore sat in the armchair.
"I'll dispense
with the niceties though a good dish of tea might be just the thing…Ah well…"
he leaned over toward Ginny. "Miss Weasley. I have to agree with you that waiting and watching someone we love in
danger is MUCH harder than acting. No
one can deny that you've had more than your share of that. I also agree that our fighters need every
single person to heed the battle cry at this juncture. The final stand is quickly approaching I'm
afraid. I am also in sympathy with your
desire to keep your family safe and have no doubt whatsoever that you would
rise to the occasion admirably. However," Dumbledore removed his
spectacles and tapped them with his wand. He held them up to the light to check for smudges. Satisfied, he replaced them. "Miss Weasley, if you love Mr. Potter, and I
think I can safely assume that that is indeed the case?" Ginny nodded haltingly. "Yes. Well…it seems to me that you have a rare opportunity. You have the means with which to keep both
you and Harry safe. Perhaps not
entirely. Perhaps not forever. But if you should choose, you will have more
control over your fate than any other witch or wizard in the world. That, Miss Weasley, is a great gift."
Ginny opened
her mouth. She glanced at Harry and
closed it. She seemed dumbfounded.
"Professor
Dumbledore, what do you mean…exactly?" Hermione asked nervously, eyes darting between the two.
The Professor
turned to include her and Ron in his gaze.
"You surprise
me Miss Granger. I'd have thought you
would have figured it out by now." He
twinkled at her over his glasses, then turned back to Ginny, eyes serious
again.
"Now,
Harry. Ginny." Harry saw a slight flush color Ginny's
cheeks. He guessed she'd never heard
Dumbledore use her first name before.
"Commendare
Mori…Fascinating charm. I must say,
I've never seen it work quite like it has for the two of you. It has not only enabled Ginny to survive
Avada Kadavra, but you both have overcome all three of the Unforgivable Curses
as a result of this protection you've created. Of course, I understand that Voldemort knows this to be the case. He witnessed Ginny defying the Imperious
Curse and Harry withstanding the Cruciatus. And now he also knows that Avada Kadavra failed as well for only the
second time in history."
"But…" Harry protested. "He doesn't know why we could do it. He just knows we did…"
"Voldemort is
a very shrewd wizard, Harry. He may not
know the details, but I daresay he has a fairly good picture of the bond you
both share." Dumbledore looked grave.
Harry
waited. He didn't know where this was
going.
"Harry. This connection you have forged has made you
and Ginny virtually indestructible. As long as one of you survives to share
the impact of a curse, the other will live as well. It has already
happened." Dumbledore explained
patiently.
Harry gaped at
the Headmaster. What? His brain felt like treacle pudding. It seemed to creak and grind in the
Herculean effort to understand what he'd just heard. Ginny too, seemed to have turned to stone.
Hermione
exclaimed, "Of course! Why didn't I see it?"
All eyes
turned to Hermione.
"Don't you see? As long as Voldemort
can't kill you both together, you both will live!" she explained triumphantly.
Dumbledore
chuckled. "As always, Miss Granger, you
are one step ahead of the pack. Should
Voldemort try to kill you Harry, Ginny will be able to help save you by taking
part of the impact herself. As long as
she is somewhere safe. That's a very
important part. Should Voldemort catch
you both together, he can simply kill you both at the same time."
Harry felt a
hand on his shoulder. He looked up and
saw Ginny. She was staring at Dumbledore
incredulously. He covered her hand with
his own.
"So then, what
you're saying is that as long as I'm not with Harry, he'll be protected from
Voldemort?" she asked quietly.
There was
compassion in Dumbledore's eyes as he nodded.
Harry felt a
glad leap in his heart. "And Gin will
be too?"
"Yes
Harry. It's a strange twist of fate,
but it seems that your separation will be your salvation."
Ginny pulled
Harry up. "Excuse us?"
"Of
course." Dumbledore smiled over his
glasses.
They crossed
the room together and stared into the fireplace.
"Harry, I'm
sorry." Ginny's eyes didn't turn from
the fire. He could see them fill with
tears.
"Me too
Gin." Pulling her into his embrace, he
lay his head on hers. They stood in
silence, watching the bright flames crackle and dance.
"Well," Ginny
straightened up and swiped her eyes. "I
guess there's only one thing to do."
"You'll stay
here?" Harry pushed her hair back and
leaned his forehead against hers. "Gin,
I know it's not what you want. I know
you want to fight. But think about
it! I can face Voldemort knowing you're
safe. It's also kind of nice knowing I
will be too." He smiled and kissed her
softly.
She
sighed. "Who can pass up a deal like
this? To be able to let you go and know
that I can help keep you alive?" A huge
smile broke suddenly across her face. "I may act like a hysterical prat at times, but I'm not stupid."
Harry grabbed
her up in his arms; swinging her up and around as joy surged up to transform
his despair into something more akin to bittersweet hope. Their love had borne fruit that neither
could have anticipated. They would take
full advantage of it as they faced the future – each protecting the other by
fighting alone.
