Scars in the Mirror Part 11: Winning and Losing the Game
On the deck of the Balthasar. Two felis stood in grey rubber coats. They looked at each other to the floating long fortress above.
"The Storm looks fierce."
"The winds are fierce."
"The rain would probably blind you."
"You could get ripped apart by those winds."
"And the dark."
"And the wind."
"And the cold."
"And the wind."
"Surely someone would get hurt."
"I'm first." Silver haired Eriya purred.
"No way." Golden Haired Narya insisted.
"Na-chan. Listen to your onee-san."
"Well who gets to go up?"
"Flip. Heads I win."
The coin flipped in the air. Eriya stared at its arc. Her eyes trapped, she did have a tendency to get distracted by shiny things. Her eyes tightened on the target until it fell. The gold haired twin grabbed it "Birds you lose."
"Narya. Get back here." The older felis grumbled.
"Nyahahahahah." She cackled. "You fall for that every time."
Eriya caught the coin. Well she wasn't going to get in trouble for that. Well Narya would probably need to get used to having another person in the house, other than Zongi. She did not like anyone. She would not trust people. Eriya retreated back into the ship before her fur got any colder.
Narya LeCoeur barely landed her Terrig in its stirrups. The wind nearly slammed her into the floor. She straightened herself up. She'd made it through the thunderstorm. She wasn't afraid of rain. Folken would be so angry. He would shout at her for being so reckless. She felt the embrace of the Vione's warmth. She couldn't wait for Folken to hold her again, just safe and warm.
She'd have to forget about Van Fanel.
/No one ever said I have to really like him. They just said I have to be nice. /
She opened the hatch. /But then Folken would, he'd know he'd look at me and see right down through me. I'd have to tell him everything. /
The hangar was empty this time. Good. She didn't want to see any vipers. She didn't want any nasty boys in her craft. She came out dry. Folken would be surprised. She crept along.
****
Folken rubbed his head after all of this.
He was much too close to this. He couldn't help thinking about his own brother Van. What if Van had been a Dragon Slayer? Seduced by the power of Dilandau's charisma. He was delicate. He was strong. Mounds strong, balls of brass, heart of glass. He had lost everything. And really lost it. Folken had abandoned his home. He had left for a better place.
What if Van had fallen under evil influences, such untoward and wicked behavior? If even the cad was not so wicked, could he blame his brother if he was seduced? Say Dallet had been with his brother instead of the pale boy? How could react then?
But still it was a breach in the law.
Narya appeared at his door, wet as a rainbird shaking herself off.
"Folken-sama." She smiled, completely wetting him two. "The rain is great. It's been so hot."
"Narya. This is horrid weather. What are you doing flying in a thunderstorm?"
"You wanted me here. I came."
"Young lady, do be careful. It is bad enough to watch you fly in guymelefs at all. Now you would kill yourself before the battle begun."
He yanked up her hair from under the nape of her neck.
"Folken-sama. Aya. Not so tight." She whined.
"No no young lady. Someone has to comb this mess out."
"It's fine."
"And your… your, I can see certain…"
Narya looked down at her chest. Well certainly she hadn't realized that would happened. She crossed her arms.
"Hah Folken. No one is going to see me."
"You may borrow one of my shirts." Folken said.
"See. I told you these things are silly." Narya looked at her pert little bosoms.
"I wish I had dresses. But that would look even stranger to Van if he found those in there."
"Hah. You wouldn't fit in my dress Folken-sama."
She paused. Maybe Folken would like to see her breasts. He didn't know why he would turn around if he wanted to. It always left him awkward. Eriya said she had no modesty.
It probably made as much sense how she could love Folken with all her soul and blush and pull away when he touched her.
Narya looked into the bath and smiled remembering different days.
Folken Fanel wiped the soggy bangs off his forehead. He tried not to yell he knew yelling would be the worst thing to do at this point. Oh he could yell. Any man with half his patience would have been calling down the curse of the gods. But he was a man, he was a prince, sort of… He had dignity.
He had the dignity to get splashed in the eye with soapy hot water and chase a soap slick silver cat girl around his entire house. He had the dignity to bear as they tripped him on the way into the bathroom, face first into the tub, clothed in everything but his madoushi cape. He resolved as the innovative thinker he was to bathe with them inside of the bath. Now this.
Eriya had surprised him. Sitting placidly on the verge of sleep on his lap, as he brushed her hair. He finished up.
He pulled up her hair and brushed it out.
Narya grumbled and hissed each time the comb went through her hair.
"Beruberu. Gah. He's trying to kill me. Gahhh."
She tried jumping off his lap and hiding in the basement again. Folken never realized how big his house was until he had to run around looking for them every ten minutes. They were old enough to know not to get in real trouble, but still they couldn't stay put in one place for more than ten minutes.
"It's not that bad. It is only hair. You have too much." Folken said guarding his words, because he was not yelling. They were children. He was 17. They would not make him yell.
Neru began to cry.
She skittered to the top of the chest and curled up in a virulent little ball, fur on end.
Folken sighed knelt on the ground and covered his head.
"Folken-man-sama, what are you doing?"
Folken for no reason began to whimper. Maybe it was the late night or the early morning. Or it was chasing after these two little hellions knowing his real brother was alone, or the head trauma. He just began to bawl like a little brat.
Everything he tried turned wrong. The only thing he had been good for was making those horrid machines. He was a horrid brother.
Eriya woke up.
"Na-chan what are you doing? You made him cry."
"Nuh-uh. He was pulling my hair."
"He'll send us back. Look at how sad he is."
"He pulled my hair. He…"
The two little wet well-groomed Felis girls, one with her mane of snarls poked him.
"Folken-sama. Don't cry."
Folken made a bawling noise. "I just want to make you look pretty. And you want to bite me and hide from me. You don't like me…."
The little girls looked shocked.
"No Folken-sama. You are a nice man. We like you."
"Then how come you run away?"
"You comb my hair too hard." Narya-chan grumbled
"I was just trying to make it not so mussy."
"Don't cry Folken. See." Neruneru said, "I feel happy."
She grabbed the brush and raked it through herself with her two hands.
Folken darted up "Good then. You are going to behave?"
"Yes. I'm sorry I made you cry."
"Thank you for the bath." Eriya kissed him on the nose.
"Yes. You are the nicest man."
"We love you Folken-sama."
"I love you too." Folken covered his mouth. His eyes really did tremble with tears.
****
"Yeowch. Ya! Please no more Folken."
"Stop squirming… you'll enjoy it…"
"Oh oh oh. Have you have mercy towards an innocent girl?"
"Stop crying. That only means I'm doing it right…"
Folken teased the comb, "Who hasn't been combing their hair?"
"mmmmmmm" Narya sniffed.
"Narya next time you do think about flying your terrig without clearance remember how dangerous it is…"
Folken pulled the insidious comb through the entire length of her hair.
"Now where did I put those bobby pins?"
"You sadist." Narya grumbled sneering at him. "I will wear my hair down or chop it off and give it to you."
"Yes well." Folken sighed. He looked down at her
"Folken-sama." Narya said.
Placing his face against her hair, sighing, "I am glad you came."
"My brother and I are fighting." Folken said.
"What did he do?" Narya said.
Folken laughed, "It was my fault. You automatically come to my side."
"You are always right Folken. You do what's best for us."
"I couldn't. I'm not very nice at all Narya." Folken said. "I don't do what is right. It's all long and complicated and you'll just tell me that I can do no wrong. But I have for very bad reasons."
"You always try to be nice. That hurts."
"I lied to him about Fanelia, and his comrades dying."
"But they were fighting against us."
"Not from his side. They all died protecting him from me. And innocents too."
"When Innocents die. It's better than if they are tortured."
"Two girls. Like you and your sister."
Narya bit her lip, "He should be glad they are dead and not in pain."
"Narya."
"Folken." Narya buried her head "I think you are nice, because you try. That's what counts."
He remembered Van's bloodied face glaring at him with moon-hollowed eyes
"Only what you do. Not even what you feel, that's what makes you right."
"That is a sweet thing to say my sweet."
"I'm going to go and fix the choke levers on the Terrig. Then I will be back. I can tell you about school."
"I heard you are going to be the Sun at Carnival this summer."
"No. I don't…"
"I think you'd make a lovely sun Narya. My bright little sun. Just like a bit of gold."
"I love you Folken."
"I love you to Na-chan."
****
Narya walked in and adjusted levers on her Terrig.
Gatti was walking only above when he saw her. It was on of his. Folken's lovely leopardesses. One golden beauty right there for him. He had to see her. What other chance could he get.
Gatti smiled, "Na, Puss. What's wrong? Would you like some-"?
Narya slammed the compartment in his face.
"Why are you talking to me?" She grumbled.
"Dear. How could I not? I think those eyes have hooks on them. They pulled me across the ship."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Nothing you could do my sweet? So when can I meet you again."
Narya was backed into the wall.
Viole tightened her eyes. She had seen enough. She crashed down the stairs.
"Gatti. What are you doing talking to her?"
Narya tore at her hand. "Folken-sama." She howled.
Viole placed Narya's hand against her shoulder.
"What it's to you." Gatti said.
Narya shoved the petite slayer at the offender as if Viole was a weapon. "Don't touch me. Don't let him touch me."
"Get lost Gatti. Dilandau won't tolerate your meddling in Folken's affairs. Or Narya's."
"Oh and what are you doing then Viole. I didn't do anything. I just talked to her."
"She wouldn't freak out. Go away. She doesn't want to look at yer ugly mug Dendel."
"You can't tell me what to do." Gatti said.
"I'm just making a suggestion Gatti-sempai."
Gatti breathed down on Viole.
"This isn't over." He shook his finger.
Viole smiled. She'd never managed to win like that. She had actually gotten him to back down. She had bested-
Gatti slammed her into the ground with a shove.
Viole blinked. Winning hurt her shoulder much worse.
Narya practically cuddled into herself behind Viole.
"Hey you are you alright?"
"I don't like boys touching me. Only Folken. He's gentle." Narya looked at her worried hands.
"If Gatti got his hands on you, you probably wouldn't feel it. He's got a tiny little prick. About this big the size of a peanut."
Narya chuckled covering her mouth "You shouldn't say such things. Who taught you manners? And why are you here?"
"I'm a dragon slayer."
"What?"
"Seven three ten gamma 07, Deren Viole, of Red Beta Squadron, under Captain Dilandau, Commander LaCoeur."
"You're not a boy." Narya nodded "You are a girl."
"I'm not..."
"Hah. I don't care how small your boobies are, you are a girl. I can smell it."
Viole blushed. "I don't prefer to think of myself as a girl. I am a soldier."
"Soldiers are people too. I'm soldier and a girl."
"Well I am not." Viole said
"Thank you for helping me girl. I don't think he would have gone away otherwise."
"Gatti is a rake and a cad. There are so many stories about him, I don't want anyone else with stories to tell."
Narya looked at the Girl Viper. Trussed up in heavy blue armor, with silky violet hair curling over her neck.
"Ooh you have pretty hair." Narya smiled. "Does it always fall curly like that?"
"Yes. It is irritating."
"Mine is boring. It just lies flat. Even when Folken brushes it. Just poooft." She left it crash down. "I wish a had pretty hair.
Viole tried not to let the image of the great Strategos brushing the cat soldier's hair confuse her.
"He brushes your hair?"
"I don't like to do it. That is why the God gave us sisters. So we don't have to." Narya smiled.
Then she looked really closely at Viole, "Do boys look at your hair?"
"What?"
"When you are here, do they look at your hair?"
"Um."
"He doesn't look at breasts or but that is for sure. Otherwise he would stare at me." She pranced around. "I love my body. I think I'm cuter than my sister. She's what they call pretty sure. But we look the same. I'm the cute one."
"Yes. Well I've got to be going."
"Your shoulder… Is it hurt?"
"No no it's fine. Just a bruise."
"Well Good bye girl." Narya waved.
Viole rolled her eyes "What a strange girl."
****
Some of the Slayers were laughing at Gatti.
"Man Viole scored. He took your woman."
"Oh snart." They laughed.
"You gonna duel him Gatti?" Malliel laughed.
Gatti barked and stomped towards. "That sorry excuse of a eunuch did not steal anything. Ha." Gatti said
"Yeah you should duel him. We could get some action. Man nothing is happening here."
"Yeah Viole is a yellow livered freak."
"You could take him Gatti-sempai!"
"Well for your information genius, Viole is anti-sexual. She's not getting any closer than I could. I don't care what those two dykes do."Gatti grumbled. The boys walked off talking about it loudly. Gatti sighed
I swear if that stupid bitch crosses me again I won't leave it to fate. Look at how they all like her now. No wonder Dilandau doesn't want to spar with me. They all hate me. I'm such a prick. I need to get laid and get a drink.
****
Van Fanel was in his place at the observatory. Some ruckuss noise came down from the quarters.
The Dragon Slayers raced talking loudly. Van stood up. They took a good look at him. They whispered. They approached quietly and passed the Prince.
"Van-sama."
Van waved them on.
Well he was an extension of his brother's authority. And Dilandau's in some respects. He looked at Gatti. That was an angry look in his eye if he ever saw one. Van paused. It was probably that violet haired chap. They were rivals, for Dilandau's favor. Of course Dilandau didn't think of either one. Dilandau was smart. He treated all his men with due and equal attention. He would never have a favorite.
It was a shocking thing. All of them so locked in their devotion. If it had been fear how could it dissipate with Dilandau's vulnerability? If it was respect, how could it be maintained witnessing his cruelty? They did not respect him, they did not entirely fear him, but they needed him.
Has Dilandau done this before? Was he born to worm his way into your heart? Was he made irresistible and undeniable? What was happening to him? Didn't Dilandau just figure a way into his thoughts?
Van continued watching.
Guimel pawed closer from the dark.
"Van-sama."
"Hello Guimel."
The boy looked over the edge. "So Van um you here that Viole like spit in Gatti's face and took that cat girl and…"
Van looked at him.
"See see there I told you I told you Viole and Gatti are going to… to kill each other. This is what I meant Van-sama."
Guimel laughed nervously. Van closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about it.
Guimel bowed, on his knee "Van-sama. Please help me."
"I can't."
"What did Folken do to him? Please I need to know what happened."
"Dallet is fine."
"What happened? Are they going to whip him? You're Folken's brother. I can't let them do that to him. It's not his fault."
"Guimel please get up."
Guimel pulled himself up.
"I don't think they would believe, that I forced myself on Dallet."
Van shook his head.
"It was what I wanted. There has never been something I wanted more. Van I love him. That's why I let him fuck me. And he loves me. He wants me because I'm special. And he tries so hard to keep me happy even though this life is shit.
Van embraced his shoulder as he curled into tears.
"There is nothing without Dallet. Why else would I be a Dragon Slayer? Dilandau is a nutcase. I mean he is the best, he's the- but I can't… I'm not strong enough. I'm not good enough. I can't stand it anymore. I'm tired. Fuck I wish I never met Dilandau Albatou. Sometimes I just want to jump off this ship and run away. There are places without war you know. There are. It would just be me and the woods."
"Guimel."
"Van. Tell your brother I'll do what ever it takes to save him. He has to know that."
Guimel lowered his head "I'm not really good at anything except breaking up a good brawl. At least Dallet has the courage to start a fight. He's a good pilot. He is. I have to be with him. I don't think anyone can know how much I need to be near him."
***
Van sat down to breakfast with his brother. He noticed another presence in the suite. Van would have more courtesy to inquire further.
"Van. Narya is here. She's sleeping right now. She doesn't take to these military schedules. Put a felisman on a schedule and you get nothing but a head ache."
"Miguel says that you were busy last night."
"It was a rather average night, some standard procedures. I think a hatch somewhere didn't open. Nothing-"
Van stared at him. He placed his finger against the bridge of Folken's nose. Folken shook his head.
"You are lying. Why don't you just tell me the truth?"
Folken shook his head in disbelief "How do you do that? I've never figured that out."
"I don't know." Van sat back, "I've always done that."
"Mother used to do that. She didn't do it often, otherwise they would have accused her of witchery on top of that."
"I didn't learn it from Mother."
"You act like her so much sometimes. The way you walk, the way you move your head. You may look like father but. There is something- Sometimes I swear she was back here to help us."
Van lowered his eyes. It wasn't until he had found Folken that his mother had truly died, or had truly abandoned him. Maybe she had just given up on her mortal human life and went back to her people, back to the Draconians in the sky. Van sat down.
"You never tell me anything, Folken. Why-"
"Don't let it concern you, Van. You have Fanelia and all this business with-"
"Dallet was with Guimel, his lover."
Folken blinked, "How did you know? Who told you about such things? It's wrong for a proper young man to talk about."
"Dallet has grown up with Guimel by his side, they have lived through the same schools. They were even trained by the same masters. They only started sleeping together in the first forays to test the Alseides. What Dilandau calls his Arcadia Victory. Right? When they burned down that castle from stone to ash in a night? They fell into each others arms and from then on they have found no other."
"Van I don't know why you chose to talk about such things. We all know the stress that is on them-"
"But you don't like me talking about wicked things, about loving someone, to sacrificing themselves for that love, and to share love with another. I should go wash out my mouth."
"Van you have a kind heart. You are stronger than I, but young. Do not speak of these things you know so little about."
"I know both of them offered to take the other's place. Dallet asked Dilandau last night. Guimel he asked me. He bowed to me to get my help. The worst thing they could imagine is seeing the other hurt."
Folken closed his eyes.
"Regardless, Van. It is the law. I can only let it go on for so long."
"It is not justice. It isn't even humane. If you do this you will never be able to forgive yourself. Do you think that you can ever forget what you've done?"
"That is not the point. The point is that order must be maintained. Even if I should feel guilty it will not matter in the long run. I will have done what is right." Folken stood up and left his plate sitting.
"Yes you. This is all about you. What you fear and what you don't understand. You don't understand why two boys would like to-"
"Van, please be quiet. You'll wake up Narya. She is better mannered than to talk about such things."
"Why should we let her sleep? Wake her up. Come now Narya… Time to wake up. We're talking about boys having sex with each other."
"Why must you…"? Folken backed towards the porthole.
Folken looked on the table. His eyes were trying to avoid Van's for a second. He noticed the over neatly printed card on the strange white box.
"What is this?"
Van blinked nervously. That was Dilandau's package. He left in here. Untouched. Van panicked.
"I was wondering that myself, Brother." Van said.
"That's odd?"
"Did you send me a package? I got a strange gift yesterday. Ciocolates. But you know I don't like them." He pulled the closed box away from him, clutching it suspiciously to his chest.
"I sent you nothing."
"It said it was a gift on the card. I don't think that anyone else could have sent me Arcadian ciocolates. You know like Dilandau's Arcadia."
"Did you say Arcadian?"
Van closed his eyes, and picked up the ugly sweet one placed the honey filled one in his mouth.
"Yuck. It tastes like soap. I think someone put soap in them or…"
"Van. Don't eat that! What are you doing?"
"That tasted funny."
Van tossed the box out the window. He watched the magnificent ciocolates spill into the air towards the ground. Van smirked inside watching all of them go to waste.
"Van, are you all right?"
Van spit the ciocolate into his napkin
"It was Dilandau. Dilandau sent you that package?"
Van lowered his eyes "It must have been. I mean he would. But why did…"
"He's the only one on this ship who has Arcadian Ciocolates. Next time, be more careful."
Van must have looked like an idiot actually eating a present from a rival. Van hadn't eating anything untested since he stopped nursing. Even this Zaibach food was suspicious to him.
"By the Gods, Folken calm down I didn't swallow," Van wiped off his tongue. "He was just pulling a prank. Poison is not his style, besides he would have chosen one without flavor." Van wiped his lips. Fortunately Dilandau's gift was floating in the air, so Folken could never determine what poison he had used. But his little brother said that they tasted funny. That would be enough.
"That little viper was trying to poison you."
"He wouldn't do that." Van blinked facing away from his brother. "You said yourself that he asked about me."
"Probably wanted to know if his poison worked."
Van turned his face away trying not to grin, "I just couldn't imagine Dilandau trying something like that."
"It sounds exactly like the little jackal. You must be careful around him."
"I will onii-wei. I promise."
"Van I am sorry we argued." Folken said "But we can come to no conclusion. Hopefully the boys will learn better and separate themselves."
Van let Folken leave. He tapped Dilandau's card. No they could not know any better.
Later that day Folken walked into the Dilandau's work area. He opened the door.
Folken sneered.
"Here I thought you had learned better. Why did you waste all those lovely ciocolates on my brother?"
"What?"
"You sent my brother ciocolates." Folken said, "Try to deny it."
Dilandau turned lavender with fear, for his skin couldn't get whiter. Folken's eyes were said to extract true stories from the dead.
"If I had thought for one second you would ever-"
"Sent them?" Dilandau closed his eyes and let his inner demons kick his but. How could he forget the ciocolates? Now Folken was going to pull his brain out through his nostrils. Oh great way to think with your penis.
"Only you like those saccharine things." Folken said. What a strange way of getting fucked by your own hormones.
"He's lying, I'd never, and He's making a fool out of- Folken?" Dilandau slid back in his chair.
"Van deduced they were from you and threw them out the window before it was too late."
Dilandau paused.
"Too late? He threw them away? But…"
"You think that you can send in. You are too much of coward to face him. So you're trying to poison him."
Folken smiled. He rolled Dilandau's chair against the wall.
"Next time you try something like this remember, how canny my brother is. He is no backwater bumpkin. You'll never kill my brother. You are outmatched Albatou."
Folken spun him in his chair and let him sit.
***
Dilandau still wandered the halls dizzy. From how close he had gotten to Folken. From how close Folken really was. He must idolize his little brother to believe such a tale. Folken couldn't be that stupid.
Dilandau scribbled him a note.
"Van
How could you do such things to me? Ooh you barbarians are so rude! If you hate me,
Do not try to spare my feelings. Above all, Do not think you must lie to me lie to me!
Tell me, so I can make your death long and painful.
Love, Dilandau Albatou.
The Prince stood behind him in the line up at the Mess. If no one cut ahead the card should reach him. Maybe he should entrust one of the cleaning staff to hand it too him. Like it mattered. Here he was passing notes like he was a silly headed girl. Why should he care what Van thought of his presents or him? They weren't married. They were enemies.
Dilandau looked up at Dallet. Oh yes, no Guimel. He was taking it well. Hmmm. What was all the love in the world? Van had thought it the real thing. Dallet was pestering Chesta. Where were his thoughts of Guimel? Guimel wasn't even there. Oh gods. Now the sheep head would be lovesick too. Dilandau chose seats close to the dark haired slayer.
"…I couldn't hear a thing from Gatti but everyone says that Viole kissed Gatti's date or something…"
"If that doesn't do it."
"Do what?"
"I think Viole and Gatti are going to kill each other this time."
"Isn't it enough that they are in the dragon slayers? Now they have to torture each other for Dilandau's favor?" Miguel said.
"Hah. See they are going to duel when they get the chance. Maybe even on the ship."
"Viole is very patient."
"Viole is going to snap. Got to spend that sexual energy some where." Dallet smiled continued eating, "The fucked up thing is that they could probably go whoring or something. Viole is straight right?" Dallet said, "Even if he is pretty."
"What makes you think-?
"Never flirted with me." Dallet said.
"So. You are the litmus test?" Chesta asked
"Hasn't flirted with Miguel." Dallet said.
"That's just how there kind act. You know. They say 'Sex is a mental illness that wastes time and energy.' They don't want to have sex."
"Freaking anti-sexualists are ruining this country. I mean Viole's okay, he doesn't push it."
Miguel blinked, "Dallet, haven't you noticed something about Viole?"
"What?"
"Viole used to be a girl. She has-"
"What?" Dallet asked.
"She's a girl." Chesta smiled.
"No?" Dallet asked.
Miguel chuckled, "You didn't know?"
"They let a girl into the Dragon Slayers?"
"She's not really a girl. She can't have children."
"So but all her parts and-"
"Do you really think Gatti is all wound up because he wants the strip? He's pissed cause he can't get with her."
"No one can get with her. She is an Anti-sexual." Chesta said
"But a she." Dallet said. Dallet opened his napkin.
He was silenced for a bit.
"Hi. (Waves kisses on
cheek) I went before you in line so you
would get this. Are you OK? Folken didn't do anything bad to you? Please just smile again. Not at me. Just don't stay glum. I'll
always be three in front of you. Don't
try to pass notes. You aren't good at
it. Remember 4th
algebra… Dilandau ratted you out. I love you, Ram."
Dallet smiled. He'd have to be strong. He'd have to keep talking or Dilandau would see.
Van bumped into Dallet.
"Give this to Dilandau." He whispered to Miguel. Miguel didn't hear him. Van placed it in Dallet's hand.
Dilandau glared coldly at Guimel. The boy had been up to something. No wonder Dallet hadn't looked suspicious. Guimel had problem sent him a message. Dallet couldn't pass a note if his life depended on it.
He walked to Dallet. The boy froze. He was guilty. Dilandau could stare a confession out of him.
"I know you have a note Dallet. Give it to me."
Dallet panicked he handed him the Prince's note.
Dilandau's eyes grew. He knew it was for him. Dallet looked at him hopefully. Maybe he wouldn't be so cruel.
Dilandau scowled cruelly at Dallet. How dare this idiot handle his messages, from his Van? Now he had to…
"Is Viole a guy or a girl, because I swear I heard Malliel say that he and the girl from the Balthasar kissed? WHAT ON Gaea is this tripe?"
Dallet exhaled. Dilandau raised his brows for a second
"Gomen Dilandau-sama."
"You always must gossip. I'll deal with this later."
"Forgive me Dilandau-sama."
Dilandau shook his head.
He walked towards the lavatory and opened the letter.
Dearest Koneko-chan
My brother found the damn
ciocolates. I had to think fast so I
choked down one of the nasty one and spit it out. He thinks you were pulling a childish prank. Now that I have given you an idea for a
childish prank please stop being so dramatic.
Love, Tenshi-sama
Ps. if you are so bold as to inquire please disguise your identity. If such a letter were to get out low things could be said of you.
Van was writing in his chambers when a figure flew in. Van rolled his eyes
"You threw them away?"
Van dotted his iotas, as Dilandau mumbled incoherently.
"Every last one out the window. Gone forever. He'll never know."
"But you will." Dilandau said/
Van looked at his writings "Yes." He continued until Dilandau grabbed his hand and kissed him.
"See Van I knew you didn't hate me. You're just being clever again. Because that is what you do best."
"Clever like a spoiled horse."
"Hmmm."
"It's something we say in Fanelia."
Dilandau sunk on the bed.
"Why would anybody say that? I wouldn't."
"When a horse does whatever her rider says and is naturally sweet tempered is called clever. A really clever horse is one they called spoiled and wicked."
"I still don't get it."
"To be really clever you have to be wicked. You have to hurt someone. Otherwise you are just being ridden like an animal." Van said.
"Then you are a horse fine…" Dilandau shrugged "You make an excellent horse."
Dilandau rolled his head onto him "What kind of story is that? It doesn't even sound like a 'one soup on time' story."
"A what."
"One soup on time, there was a magic kingdom. That's how any story begins."
"Once upon a time." Van rolled his eyes.
"One soup on time, there was a beautiful Princess in a pink dress with long hair. Her name was Celena and she met a boy who lived inside of a glass box and swam around like a little merboy. One day they were in the woods…"
"The boy too? How was the glass box in the woods."?
"Don't
question me. This is a one soup on time
stories. They never make sense."
"Where did you learn this story?"
"I made it myself when I was a child."
"Does it get interesting?"
"Shut up. It's not even to the part about the Dogman who inside was a Felis-woman or the Sorcerer who wanted to live forever, or the Knight with one knee, or the Prince with wings."
"Is there any dragons at all?"
"Why not? Big flying dragons…."
"That's very strange. A strange story."
"You don't know anything about good stories. I learned to tell stories from the best storytellers. You haven't heard anything yet."
*****
Guimel wandered down the hall, this was so stupid. Why had he fought with him about all those stupid things? About taking to long at the billiards and trying to make him read "Desert Island" and getting mad with him for spreading lies about Folken. Guimel was so angry with him. He had thought the Strategos a good man. One who wouldn't close his heart so tight? He could have no respect for such a man. Dallet was a good soldier. Even Guimel knew he was a good soldier. How could they ask a good soldier to choose between love and duty? It was wrong.
Guimel wandered into Dallet's room. His roommate was away, leaving him alone to cry to himself. Dallet could never cry with anyone but Guimel. He'd soak in his tears till he squeaked like a sponge. But he would never really cry. Some horrible person said he would dry up if he cried like that. Maybe he still believed it.
Dallet cried silently. Anyone would think he would want everyone to know when he cried. He was so flamboyant about everything else. But his tears were shared only with his pillow.
It wasn't until he saw him that he began to cry. The name roared out of his mouth. Guimel took a step.
"Don't come in here."
Guimel grinned, "I haven't see you all day, Baka. I hope you don't think of avoiding me. Trying to cheat on me. You better know better."
Dallet turned away.
"I'll tell you the truth about adultery. If you ever cheat on me, I would beat the crap out of you and rip her hair out. One by one. Then you'll learn."
Dallet still couldn't turn around, but his shoulders shook, trying to contain the laughter.
"You asked me once."
"Guimel." Dallet sighed. Guimel touched his hand.
Dallet looked into Guimel's eyes.
"Guimel. I just wanted to tell you... I love you."
"Dallet?"
"And now you are free."
"I don't know what you are talking about, Dallet-koi. You gave me my freedom once. I was a child. That's the only-"
"No. No. Not like that. I mean, you can leave me now."
Guimel pulled himself closer. "What?"
"But you think I'd want to leave you? You think I could?"
Guimel raised his arm.
"How could you do that to me? Why would you ever ask me to leave you?" Guimel snarled, "Do you think that I can leave you just because of this with Folken?"
"Guimel you don't understand. You can't be around me. You shouldn't-" Dallet wrestled with his ineloquence in his throat.
"I'm not going to leave you unless you tell me too. Look me in the eyes and tell me to go."
"You don't understand, Guimel. Don't make me..." Even as a child Dallet found his honesty in Guimel's bright green eyes. It was the only place.
"Why do you hate me so? I don't want to leave you Dallet. Why would you make me? Why would you make leave you?" Guimel had the logic of any lover.
Dallet turned around. Guimel's eyes were still soft after all this time in the centers, after all this training. In them lived the truth, hidden in vine colored temples.
Dallet surrendered to the truth. In for a penner, in for a gidaru. * He surrendered to himself with a kiss. His lips were the most perfect things he ever felt.
Guimel opened his eyes.
"Folken. What if Folken is right? What am I doing to you? I can't live like this. I love you so much, but all I do is hurt you. This isn't right. This isn't the world for it. Everything is rolled to hell."
Guimel brushed him, "Dallet. It can't be. I have you. And as sad as we are, it just keeps getting better. I mean it's bad enough that we have to get sick and die. But I'm not going to let them take this. Then it is hell, not the world at all."
Guimel pressed his lips against his.
Dallet said softly "We can't go to Hell unless Dilandau gives the order. We are Dragon Slayers. I'll stay here."
Guimel was kissing Dallet.
"Dah, you… They can only do it once, right? Then it would teach them?" Guimel said, "I wish they would beat me instead."
"I think they all have to learn. They could beat us both. Get it beaten into their heads."
"Dallet-"
"I won't let you go Guimel. Any of you. This is not a sin. I will not treat my love for you like a sin." Dallet said his dark eyes glittering with fire, "Even if they have to kill me."
Guimel kissed him deeper. He started kissing his throat and his pulse. Dallet caressed him through his clothes stroking Guimel's manhood. The fair-haired slayer smirked. Dallet kissed his face, sweet smiling face and he felt the smile from the inside as they kissed.
"This is nice." Dallet asked said ripping off his shirt "You loved me so much you'd let me get flogged for touching you?" Dallet asked, laughing. Trying to nip Guimel on the lips. But Guimel held him back, letting him watch his body. He was so delicious. Guimel was so hungry for him.
"No. Let me take the blame Dallet. I'll protect you. It's only fair for staying with me in hell."
Guimel crawled on top of Dallet and slid his tongue into his mouth.
Dallet moaned rubbing his own erection against Guimel's thigh.
"They are going to feel so stupid." Guimel muttered.
"Condoms?" Dallet purred coming so close to his face Guimel could have bit off his nose. Just close enough to smell and hear his body. Never close enough to touch. Not until they couldn't control their desire.
"I have some in my drawer under the…" Dallet said. He blew air across his face messing his hair. Guimel hid his arms behind his back and sat on his hands. How long could he stand not touching him? That sleek back, the slim hips. Guimel gritted his teeth. It would be so sweet when they would touch.
Dallet tossed aside socks. "You got anything to…" Dallet blinked coquettishly, he didn't like the dirty words. He thought lube was a dirty word. God's he could be cute.
"Lube? I think I got some shampoo here…"
Guimel pulled it out.
"They'll probably just think I used it on my hair." He laughed.
There was a profitable trade among the Dragon Slayers in sundry items, shampoos, lotions, oils or any kind of lubricant. It was mostly a barter system. These days no one had enough of anything. Lotion and bath oil was a luxury for captains and commanders. Most of the soldiers used shampoo they borrowed from their mates. They gave each soldier enough shampoo to wash his regulation length hair for three months. Anyone who decided to where their hair long, like women or some of the other Dragon Slayers never had enough to last them until the next supply came in. Even finding extra shampoo was a hassle. It was actually much easier to find out where to get condoms, strangely. Gatti usually had them, but would get nosey and ask what they were for, the little voyeur. Miguel always gave a lecture on safe sex. He never used any of his. He really didn't like sex as much you would he a person of his background would. To him it was business.
Finally the boundaries shattered, Guimel kissed Dallet's chest and he nibbled up his arm. Dallet stroked down his body taking off his clothes.
"Guimel. I love you."
"Shh. Dallet. Not so loud."
He was spinning out of his senses. Their bodies connected at the hips into one burning loving form. They panted. Guimel slid himself in gently destroying him, making them a part of each other. They climaxed, just together. It was all they could do. They had shared something so deep. Guimel pulled Dallet's hair away from his neck.
"I love you."
Dilandau watched Guimel finish. His blood was coursing through his face. They both lay on the bed together. They pulled up the sheet. Guimel rested his head against Dallet's chest. They just slept.
Dilandau broke in, the other Dragon Slayers entered into the room. It would be better for him to work. They would be ashamed. They would be filled with remorse. They would feel dirty as they all watched them. He brought all of the Dragon Slayers to stare at them naked together. Viole frowned, as was her Anti-sexual duty. Chesta pretended to look away, blushing, redder than Dilandau. The Captain wondered when was the last time he had been with someone else in his bed? Miguel was about to cry, or jump out of his skin. He acted worse then Viole. Sex made him extremely uncomfortable. He let Miguel walk away.
The others stared with a variety of expressions: Confusion, disgust, and curiosity. Of course none of them would admit lust and Guimel wondered how crowded the shower stalls and the broom closets would be after this little meeting with horny Dragon Slayers giving each other head or making out, fantasizing about joining them.
The only one who seemed completely indifferent was Gatti. He waved at Guimel. It was as exciting to him as a pair of goldfish. It was a shame how this stuff was wasted on him sometimes.
"Dallet, what did you do to Guimel?"
Guimel looked Dilandau in the eye. "I was the one. We were talking to each other about the weather and he told me he was out of shampoo for his hair. He didn't have any left. So I borrowed him some and then we started kissing and I fucked his brains out."
The Dragon Slayers started back. None of the Dragon Slayers ever expected those words to come out of Guimel's mouth.
"Do you really think that he could ever defy you?" Guimel said sternly.
"Yes Dilandau, he came to me. I would not go to him. I would never defy your orders."
Guimel forgot that Dilandau liked to hit people who made him angry. He punched him. Guimel pulled himself back up. "Dallet is a real Dragon Slayer."
"Is this true?"
"Yes Dilandau-sama, Guimel was amazing. It has never been so good. He's the best lover I've ever had."
Dilandau pounded his fist against the headboard trying to scare Dallet.
"What did you let him do? Don't you have anything to say? Aren't you sorry?"
Dallet sat up petting aside Guimel's head.
"Of course I'm sorry." Dallet frowned
Dilandau's face softened.
"Sorry I didn't let him try that a long time ago."
The Dragon Slayers whistled.
Dilandau didn't even hit them. He just stood shocked.
"You know what I have to do now. I have to go tell Folken."
They held hands.
"Why did you have to be so…"? Dilandau didn't finish his compliment and walked off angrily.
***
They lashed Guimel to the board, by the wrists.
Folken couldn't look. He faced outside of the room.
"In violation of the Martial code, section 19 e, for perverse sexual conduct with a subordinate is punished by flogging. 20 lashes. For the incident of insubordination to your commanding officer the penalty is doubled. Do you understand?"
Guimel lowered his head. "Of course."
Folken turned around "Do you wish to attest these charges Officer Sceap?"
"You wouldn't have found me in his bed, if I did. You definitely wouldn't have found me on top. 40 lashes."
Folken blinked. He had seen men cringe at the mere mention of the bullwhip. This cotton headed boy was facing it like an old warrior.
***
Dilandau sat up facing the window where the glass was facing.
"Dallet would never betray me. He is my soldier."
Van sat next to Dilandau. How could Dilandau bare this? It was disgusting. What kind of freak could watch it.
"They love me. They wouldn't let themselves betray me. Guimel. I don't know what to think about him. Maybe he could cut it as a lesser commander. Then I wouldn't have to look at his smiling face. Why does he have to smile like that?"
"Must you watch?"
"It didn't happen if I don't see it. That is their punishment." He looked down, "This is my punishment. I have failed them too."
Van lowered his head.
"I love them better than I love my duty. I would have not seen this day. They did not betray me."
"But, how can you watch."
"When I was six I was caught running somewhere I wasn't supposed to be or whatever. I think I was braiding hair or something."
"Braiding."
"I used to braid hair. I used to braid my own hair so Albatou cut it off. Except in front. So I wouldn't braid it. They said I had long hair before, like most of my kind. So once I think I was six. And there was this felis girl and she was eating lunch. I don't know what she was doing there. We were having fun. So I was just sitting there and braiding her hair. He found us."
"He showed me how to break an arm that day. I broke her arm. I had to or he was going to teach me how to cut off a head. So I went over there and I broke her arm. She ran home, and thanked the gods she didn't get killed."
"He knew I would break her arm. No one was supposed to touch me, but I couldn't let him kill her. And I knew that she would have a broken arm and everyone could see what had happen to her. No one would see what happened to me. They'd never know."
"I never have sentenced something I would not watch." Dilandau said, "I must be strong. And they must learn. Even if it drives me mad. I will not hurt them where no one can see, like they did to us before. I will make them strong. I will save them."
Dilandau forced himself to look at the act. Dallet bite down and his lip so he wouldn't shriek. But the next he couldn't bear. He cried like a coward. Dilandau didn't move his head.
"Dallet fainted after 22. They will wait until he recovers, then finish the sentence." Dilandau said, "The torturer isn't any good. Dallet will have scars on his flesh."
Dilandau closed his eyes.
"Never do anything you can't bear. I know everything I do. I know what this means."
Van turned away from the window.
"I can't watch. Why would they do this?"
****
Dilandau muttered "Halt."
Dallet hadn't even whimpered on that one. Dilandau screamed "God damn it. I told you to halt. I am in charge here soldier. You will cease and desist. Is the prisoner all right?"
"I'm sorry."
Dilandau shoved aside the executioner "If this soldier dies, I pity how you will have to spend the rest of your life.
"I'm sorry- I-"
"Idiot. Call the Medic."
Dilandau took Dallet aside and helped him sit up.
Van watched his mouth moved as he cradled him. "It's all right Dallet. I'm sorry. I know you didn't betray me. You wouldn't. Even Guimel wouldn't. You're a Dragon Slayer. You are. I love you my Dragon Slayer. I'd take every lash for you. Every one."
Dilandau stopped, "This boy is too ill to continue. I will suspend the torture until he is recovered."
"I have the right of the supervisor. He will die if you continue. The punishment is not Death. It is thirty lashes."
"Yes Dilandau-sama."
****
Folken tried to shut it out, the snap and the whimpers of the boy. They weren't weak. He swallowed his screams and held them in as his body shivered with the contained pain. The executioner was all too skilled
"29."
The tears and sweat spattered on top of the post
"30."
Guimel Sceap was still not bleeding to badly. He was hurting. His knees were buckling at the pain. The boy swallowed after each lash against his bleeding back.
Folken lifted his head "Halt."
***
Dilandau rinsed off Dallet's cuts.
"Dallet."
"Dilandau-sama."
"Get to sleep. I won't have you dying. Shit, you pissed me off." He shook his fist."If I ever catch you dying…"
"No Dilandau-sama. I won't die."
"You would try something like that just to ruin my day."
"I won't die Dilandau-sama. I feel better already. I can breath and-"
Dilandau scowled.
"Thank you Dilandau-sama."
"You will not die. I know you won't." Dilandau said.
Dallet smiled, "No sir. Thank you."
"Get some sleep." Dilandau said.
Dallet closed his eyes.
Dilandau rested on the floor.
Van lowered himself over Dilandau's shoulder, and kissed him. Why not Dallet knew already even if he was sleeping.
"You know one day this could be you, Dilandau."
He smiled softly.
"But you'd get off the hook. You're a foreigner and foreigners have no value in the eyes of the law. Besides when they catch me, your brother will slit my throat first."
"I don't know how you can be so cool and heartless about it."
"Folken asked me the same thing."
***
"Folken-sama."
"Take care of this boy." Folken said.
"So I did it?" Guimel grabbed his cloak. This means you can't hurt him anymore?"
Folken looked at him.
"Did you learn your lesson Folken-sama?" Guimel asked, "I'll never let you hurt him again. Never never. I want you to remember that. I want you to think about that. I never want you forget what you did today."
"Quiet you."
Folken held his hand back. "Tend to him."
Guimel walked beside Dallet and kissed his hand placed it on his cheek as he rested.
***
Guimel arrived in the infirmary. He wasn't walking to well himself. But it would be good to see him again. A few sharp glares from Dilandau-sama had been all too effective. Dallet was still so sore. His cuts weren't healing.
Dallet was sleeping painfully on his stomach. His hair all tailed up. He winced and breathed softly. Could his skin hurt that much?
Guimel took the antiseptic and dabbed it on his long back.
"Dah nurse. Don't touch it."
Guimel tried not to cry He continued
Dallet felts lips on his shoulder.
"What kind of-" He felt his brush against his shoulder. Dallet sat up. "Guimel."
"I think you're behind in our studies." Guimel whispered, "Lesson 101, how can I kiss you without hurting you."
"Oh that's easy. Just do it. I don't feel any pain at all when you kiss me, except when you stop."
Dallet kissed his face.
"They got you good." Guimel smiled grimly.
"Those aren't shaving scars either. I had the amateur."
"Hmmmm."
"This means I'll have to be careful."
"I love you Guimel. Each one of these scratches they don't mean anything but I love you."
"You didn't need to say it forty times. Next time, be careful not to talk so much. Nemesis will make what you wish come true."
"You be quiet sheep boy and let me kiss you."
*****
They waited in that tiny room in the observatory. Van seemed to stare at the walls. Dilandau had stopped weeping. He was empty. His moonlike face soft like sand. His pale lashes fluttering. Dilandau was empty and gone. Van was alone now. Dilandau would come back one day. Maybe even in the hour. They sat breathing
"Dilandau, what if I told you that I wanted to do something evil?"
Dilandau touched his lips.
"What if I told you I am going to betray my own brother while he is serving his emperor in Astoria?"
"You're going to kill Folken?" he asked.
"I would not have too. And it would save us all."
"Me too?"
"No. I don't see why you would care…. You could care less if I snuck in his room at night and stabbed him through the heart. This isn't like that. I could hurt him. As swiftly and brutally as what he did to them, then he'll be gone and Dornkirk will make me Strategos."
"I'm glad I didn't try to shoot Allen down."
"If you would have shot us like that, Allen Schezar would have leashed his own cannon fire. A few volleys of cannon balls and you could have captured that ship. Or it could have succeeded. Folken knew that it would destroy the ship. It would kill everyone on that ship. And I could never go back." Van pinched his bronze chin. Stroking his thumb along the whiteness against his jaw line. Right where he had scarred it that night with the pills.
The mirror looked back at him. Dilandau's hand was against his face. He turned as Dilandau kissed him. Dilandau did not care. He was tired and the kisses shut off his brain and his heart. He needed something more than himself to deaden his sorrows.
"How are you going to kill Folken then?"
"I'm not going to kill my brother. I love my brother. So I'm not going to kill him."
"Why don't you think about it tomorrow Van? You'll be much more clever then."
Van focused his gaze out the window to the world under them.