HORNY TOAD
I don't own the X-Men! Oh, and don't judge the fic by the title, its not what ya think.
Todd's alarm buzzed right in his ear, waking from yet another wonderful dream of a swamp filled with dove sized flies. He hit the alarm clock, shutting it off. Then he sat up, or at least tried to that is. It took him five minutes to notice he hadn't sat up, and was still stuck to his bed. "Huh? What's up with this?" he asked out loud. Then he groaned, figuring that Pietro had super glued him to the bed again. "Hey Fred!" he yelled. Todd laid there for awhile, waiting for the larger teen to show. After another five minutes, Todd groaned, and decided he would have to ruin another mattress. He pulled his powerful legs up to his chest, then kicked down on the bed with all his might. Too his surprise, he was launched straight up into the ceiling.
Downstairs, the rest of the brotherhood was eating breakfast. Lance and Pietro were having a hard time waking up. They had both been sent on an all night mutant search, turning up nothing more than a pizza delivery man that had a very unsightly large nose. Fred was happily finishing off the pizza they brought home, when they all heard a crash up stairs. "Oh man, what did that little freak do know?" groaned Lance. "Hey man, cool it. He's not a little freak," snapped Pietro. Fred looked at the two teens, cheese trailing down his chin. They both glared at each other, then sighed and walked up to Todd's room. When the opened the door, they couldn't help but laugh. Todd had his head stuck in the ceiling, odds are stuck up in the attic. "Guys? You there? Help me out man! The attic has rats!" yelled the panicked teen. Lance doubled over in laughter. Pietro calmly walked over to Todd's bed, and started tickling the younger teens feet. "HA HA HA! Dude, uncool!" giggled Todd, and started kicking at the unseen tickler. Lance walked over next to Pietro, then sat on Todd's bed. The next thing Pietro knew, Lance was jumping around the room, holding his butt. "OW OW OW OW OW OW!" he yelled. Pietro looked down on Todd's mattress, and found it covered with quills or spines of some sort. "Hey Todd, what's with the bed of spikes?" asked Pietro. Todd, who's head was still in the attic, tried to shrug, but only resulted in his chin getting caught an a board. "I don't know man. Wasn't there when I laid down last night, yo," said the confused teen.
Fred just then walked into the room, and looked at Todd stuck in the ceiling and Lance jumping around, trying pull the quills out of his butt. "Hey Fred, help me out here. Pull Todd out of the ceiling," instructed Pietro, and the large bulky teen shrugged and grabbed Todd by the waist, and yanked him free. Todd's head was covered white from the sheet rock in the ceiling. "Good, now lift his shirt," said Pietro. Fred did as he was told, and what they found surprised him. "Wow, Todd you have like spines on your back!" exclaimed Fred. "Huh? Really? Let me see!" said Todd, and he started to spin wildly, trying to see his own back. Pietro covered his face with his hands. "Great, now we have a horny Toad." Lance, who had finally pulled free all the thorns from his rear, joined the others in staring at Todd's back. "Hey, why didn't you tell us you had spines in your back?" asked Lance, obviously annoyed at Todd. "Hey, I didn't know," said Todd, still running in little circle, trying to see his own back. The young teen became frustrated and crouched down, and started to back flips in an attempt to see his new feature. Suddenly Pietro's watch beeped. "Uh oh, gotta get to school," he said, and all teens ran through the house, dressing quickly, and doing unfinished homework, or accidently eating their homework, such as the case with Blob.
The Brotherhood had been late for school, again. Lance and Pietro had lucked out and weren't caught, but Todd and Fred weren't as lucky. They were given detention. Todd grumbled as he and Fred sat in the waiting room. He didn't like the new principal. They never were able to find Mystique after Asteroid M. After she hadn't shown up for he principle job for a week, the school hired a new one. She was too happy for Todd's taste. "Todd? Fred? Will you two please come in my office?" asked the young woman sweetly. It was kind of scary how much she looked like Mystique's Mrs. Darkholme transformation. Except this one smiled, had blonde hair, and was like only twenty-three. The two teens walked into the office, and Todd sat in the little plush chair, Fred standing for obvious reasons. "Your little friends will be here soon, and we can get this conference started," said the young principal, and she smiled at the two mutants. Todd and Fred exchanged confused glances. "Uh, what other guys, Ms. Dane?" asked Fred. Ms. Lorna Dane smiled, acting proud of Fred's question. "Well, I have noticed that you two, and Lance Alvers and Pietro Maximoff have been having trouble fitting in here at Bayville High," she said. "Since you all are new, I understand that it might be hard to get along with new people. Since you four are always together, I figured I'd have no trouble getting you together with your other friend's today," she said and smiled. Once again Todd and Fred looked confused, and they both asked the same question at the same time, "What other friends?" The principal was a little shocked. "Why, those other teen's you all are hanging out with. Jean Grey, Scott Summers, Kitty Pryde, and Evan Daniels," she said, sounding surprised. Fred and Todd groaned, knowing this was not going to end well.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and the rest of the Brotherhood, along with the four X-Men, stepped into the office. "Listen Ms. Dane, I don't care what these four are telling you, we didn't do it," said Lance. Ms. Dane laughed and stood up from behind her desk. "No, that's not why you're here for once. Today, I figured that we try some group therapy, and see if maybe we can get you and your three friends to learn to fit in here at Bayville. I'm glad that the others were happy to volunteer. I chose them because every time I turn around, you eight are always together. True, you're usually arguing, but that's ok. You have conversation started, and that's a good foundation to build on," explained the young woman. All four members of the Brotherhood exchanged disgusted looks. They weren't alone. Kitty and Evan looked completely disgusted with fact, and Scott didn't look to thrilled. The only one smiling was Jean. "That's a very good idea ma'am," said Jean, smiling. Scott looked at her like she just grew a third eye. Jean decided to share her plan with the other three mentally. "If we can use this to get them to get along with us, maybe we'll be able to bring them over to our side," she explained telepathically. The others still didn't like the plan, but knew she had a good point.
Ms. Dane clapped her hands. "Ok, let's all stand, and face each other," she exclaimed. Todd tried to stand, but once again found himself stuck. He looked over at Lance, looking worried. Unlike Mystique, this principal had no idea they were mutants. Lance walked in front of Todd, and pulled him by the front of the shirt. Luckily, the spines in Todd's back pulled out of the soft chair without breaking off. The four members of the Brotherhood stood opposite of the each other. Fred across from Scott, Pietro across from Kitty, Lance across from Evan, and Todd across from Jean. "Good, now I want you each to exchange compliments to each other. Give each other some positive comments," said Ms. Dane, ever smiling. Fred and Scott stared at each other. "Ummm, uh, nice... shoes?" said Fred, trying to say something nice. "Um, Thanks. That's a cool, um, paddle ball you have there," said Scott, shifting uncomfortably. Fred eyes lit up, and he pulled out the toy he always carried around. "Hey Thanks!" he said smiling. Ms. Dane looked at the both so proudly, you could of figured they just created cold fusion. "Wonderful!" she exclaimed. Pietro grinned and stared at Kitty. "I like your hair," smoothly commented Pietro, trying to sound charming. Kitty was about to give a rude comment, but stopped when she caught Jean's pleading look. The young girl sighed. "Thanks. I like your shirt," she mumbled. Lance looked at Evan and grunted in disgust. "Find something good about him? I'd have better luck finding fish on the moon," he growled. "You think it would be any easier for me garbage breath?" sneered Evan. "Boys, please try," pleaded Ms. Dane. Evan sighed, and looked Lance over. "You have a cool truck," he said. Lance's eyes widened. No one ever said anything good about his old beat up wrangler. "Really? It's an old beat up hunk a junk." Evan looked at Lance was insane. "You kidding? It's a classic. My grandpa collects tons of old trucks. That thing is cool. You must like take care of it really well to keep it still running," said Evan. Lance grinned. "Yeah thanks, I do. If ya want I'll let ya check it out after class," said Lance. Both boys grinned, amazed at finding a common hobby. Then it was Todd's turn.
He stared at Jean, unable to choose where to start. "Uh, you like dress really cool, yo," said the young teen. Jean smiled sweetly. "Thank you Todd. You're very sweet." Ms. Dane smiled proudly. "Wonderful, wonderful. Now, let's switch partners. Todd, you and Kitty. Scott, you and Lance. Pietro, you and Evan, and Fred you and Jean. All eight teens stared at her in disbelief. Even Jean was unable to continue. Fred was the only member of the Brotherhood she couldn't stand. She had been nice to him, and all he did was stalk her and kidnap her. All the teens switched places, and stared at their major enemy's, except Todd. He had nothing against Kitty. Unfortunately, Kitty thought he was swamp scum. Lance and Scott glared at each other. "Hey Summers, I know something you do real good. You push others around real good. Make em do want you want, while you give those stupid lectures," growled Lance. Scott glared. "Yeah, and like you have leadership values? Only thing you do real good is screw up and hurt others." Ms. Dane's heart dropped. They had been doing so well, but now they were at each others necks. Lance and Scott continued to shout at each other. Pietro and Evan had gotten into an fight over basketball, and Fred was complaining to Jean about something about her dumping him. The only quiet ones were Todd and Kitty. Todd was actually giving her compliments, but all Kitty did was turn her back to him.
Ms. Dane whistled loudly, bringing silence from all the teens. "OK! This isn't going as well as I hoped. Maybe we just need a group hug," she suggested. Instantly, Lance, Pietro, and Fred looked at Todd. The X-Men didn't know about Todd's new found spines, but were still not pleased with the idea of hugging the other teens. Ms. Dane's smile left her face. She walked into the middle of the group, and whispered in a low voice. "Listen, I said group hug, and trust me, if you don't try, you will regret it," she hissed. Jean was the first to move, pulling Scott by the arm. She moved up to Lance and hugged him, pulling Scott into the hug, along with Pietro. Evan and Kitty followed. Fred, swept up in the moment, squeezed everyone together tight. Fred and the X-Men laughed, but Lance and Pietro eyed Todd. "Todd, please participate," instructed Ms. Dane. "Uh, that's cool, I mean I'm sure they don't wanna hug me," said the small teen. "Ah, come on Todd," insisted Jean, and she and the rest of the X-Men circled Todd, followed by Fred. They were all close to Todd, and were hugging him lightly, mostly because of his smell. Todd looked hopeful. If they stayed like this, no one would get stuck with his spines. Todd actually started to smile. Just then Fred moved up to the group smiling. "BIG HUG!" he yelled. Todd's eyes opened wide. Through out the whole town of Bayville, the screams and yells of pain rang out, shaking windows even.
Well, that's it. See, the title was deceiving. Hope you liked.
*In walks Jean, Scott, Kitty, Evan, and Blob, their bodies covered with bandages from the many areas where spines had to be removed, carrying Todd* "DON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN" they scream at the other, leaving Todd behind. Todd slips the author a twenty and leave*