Narrator: At the palace, the wicked Queen was plotting something evil…
Queen: Ugh, I can't believe that she's still alive! This is so annoying! I am supposed to have all the power! What good is being most powerful if you can't do anything evil and wicked properly?
Mirror: None.
Queen: I knew that!
Mirror: Then why did you ask…
Queen: Shut up! I've had enough of you!
Mirror: Temper, temper.
Queen: Quiet. I need to think how I'm going to kill Emmie.
Mirror: Why can't you just let her live?
Queen: Because she's more pretty than I am!
Mirror: I don't think that's a reasonable answer.
Queen: Who's Queen?
Mirror: Uh… You.
Queen: Correct. Now, who's the idiotic, annoying and rude Mirror?
Mirror: Duh, me.
Queen: In that case, SHUT UP!
Mirror: Okay…
Narrator: In the woods, Emmie was being questioned on her cooking skills.
Hank: I thought that all women knew how to cook!
Emmie: Don't be so sexist! I can clean in a way, but I never could cook. *I can't either, it's so stressful*
Scott: So, you can't cook anything?
Logan: Not even bacon?
Emmie: Sorry guys, not even bacon.
Bobby: You know what that means, don't you?
Pete: More Cajun food?
Remy: Oui. Remy be a très magnifique chef, non?
Bobby: Non, you not be even a good cook.
Logan: You just said something weird bub.
Bobby: Damn! Ah well, you get the idea right?
Remy: Oui. You not be liking my cooking one little bit…
Bobby: Yeah!
Kurt: So what? We can cook too you know.
Scott: I can't. Raise your hands if you can cook.
(Remy and Hank raise their hand) *BTW, they can probably all cook, but this is a fairy tale, so anything goes*
Kurt: Is that all? I thought there were more!
Emmie: What do you cook?
Hank: Eggs and Toast.
Emmie: That's all you eat? Eggs, toast and Cajun food!
Pete: Yes.
Emmie: How could anyone live like that?!
Kurt: This is a story! It doesn't have to make sense!
Emmie: Oh yeah…
Hank: So, how come you were here in the forest again?
Emmie: Remember, I ran away from the wicked Queen.
Scott: Oh, her…
Emmie: You know her?
Pete: Yes. We were evicted from our home by the Queen, and forced to live in this stupid forest.
Logan: We all hate her.
Emmie: Oh, in that case will you help me kill her or something to make a happy ending?
Bobby: Sure! We'd love to kill the Queen for you!
Scott: Can I make up the plan?
Logan: Well…
Scott: Please! Please! I'd be ever so good at it!
Remy: Do you really want to do de plan dat bad?
Pete: Of course he does!
Kurt: Ja, look at him jumping up and down!
Hank: If you really want to, go ahead…
Scott: YES! I'm going to make the BEST plan ever!
Narrator: At the same time, the wicked Queen was trying to figure out how to kill Emmie.
Queen: You know, I really can't be bothered with making that stupid potion and making her eat the apple. I can just knock her out, then drown her instead.
Mirror: Yes. That is very… original my Queen.
Queen: I know what you're thinking! You think it's a stupid idea, don't you?
Mirror: Well, I just thought that we were keeping this to a traditional style.
Queen: Not much so far has been very traditional, I'm not going to start now!
Mirror: Fair enough…
Narrator: Meanwhile, Scott had just finished his brilliant plan.
Pete: Pathetic is what I'd call it…
Scott: Yes, I am done!
Logan: Okay bub, let's see what you've done…
Kurt: Is there lots of bashing heads?
Scott: No, not really. I just thought that Logan could go and slice through her.
Bobby: That's your brilliant plan!?
Scott: Well…
Hank: Oh God…
Pete: Forget his idea, I say we go bust into the palace, and kill her as soon as we find her.
Remy: Better dan Scott's idea, let's go!
Hank: That doesn't sound very fairy-tale like at all…
Emmie: So what? I want revenge!
Logan: Yes, we all do! C'mon!
(All the guys rush to the palace, where the wicked Queen is hiding in the dungeon)
Queen: Crap, I didn't expect this…
Mirror: Well, I mean you have been pretty nasty.
Queen: Shut up…
Mirror: It's always telling me to shut up Queenie! Well, what if I don't want to shut up? What if I want to talk and talk and talk? Then what?
(The Queen smashes the mirror and it falls onto the floor)
Queen: Well, at least I've shut her up.
(Logan charges in)
Logan: All right Queen Jeanie! We're gonna kill you!
Queen: Really? I… wanted to get to know you better…
(Logan gulps as Queen runs her hand up her thigh)
Kurt: Hey, what ya doing? Ooooh…
Bobby: No, must resist…
Scott: Damn, she's so…
Remy: Merde…
Pete: Um…
Hank: This is what happens when we've not seen beautiful women for a long time.
Emmie: Oh God guys! Snap out of it! Hey, I'm more pretty than her! The stupid mirror said so!
Queen: Could it be possible that the stupid mirror was wrong?
Bobby: Uh huh.
Queen: Well, in that case Emmie can come back to live in the Kingdom!
Pete: What about us?
Queen: You have been punished long enough, you can come back to.
Hank: Really?
Queen: Really.
Scott: Yes, please accept our full apologies for trying to kill you.
Queen: We all make mistakes.
Emmie: Well…
Narrator: One minute later…
Queen: I hope you guys enjoy it in the dungeon!
Hank: But you said…
Queen: So? I'm evil and wicked!
Logan: You were lying?
Queen: Of course.
Emmie: God, I knew I shouldn't have thought about it…
Queen: In fact, you guys can get executed right now.
Remy: But dis be a fairy tale!
Scott: Yeah, the huntswoman Rogue got away!
Pete: So, you can't kill us Jeanie!
Queen: Damn…
Mirror: In that case, are you really allowed to break me?
Narrator: Yes, because you are a fairy tale object, not person. You die, so get down there!
Mirror: Awwwww…
Narrator: And so Emmie and the 7 mutants got off on a technicality, and went to live in another Kingdom ruled by someone nice.
THE END