Himura Kenshin in Wonderland
by Amy the Evitable
C&C welcome as always at nuriko72@netscape.net!
Part 3: Mutabili-Tea*
The corridor didn't look too terribly strange. There was a wooden floor and a wooden ceiling, and a wooden framework of walls covered with rice paper. Except the soft filtered sunlight came slanting in at a low angle from both walls. And the corridor seemed to stretch out forever in both directions; the corner he'd turned pursuing Kaoru was nowhere to be seen. And instead of shoji, there were a bewildering variety of doors lining the corridor. Over there was a large pair of doors of a dark, weathered wood; huge solid slabs held closed by a thick metal bar across them. Next to them was a smaller door, painted a cheerful green with a western-style knob. Across from it was a round metal door, with a protruding spoked wheel that Kenshin assumed had to be a very unusual knob. Even further down, he saw a heavy iron grid that looked as though it was meant to be lifted up rather than slid to the side. And beyond that, there was a small white door with four glass panes set into it that was slowly swinging shut.
Kenshin launched himself toward the closing door at top speed. Kaoru might have just exited through it, and if she had, he needed to catch it before it closed and locked. It had to be awfully far down the corridor, as the tricks of perspective made it look quite small indeed. Speed was of the essence. The wind whipped through his hair and might have blown the whiskers off the onigiri had he not shielded them with his arm as he sped down the corridor -- and skidded to a sudden stop, as he overshot the door.
*Click*
It swung shut. There had been no trick of perspective. The door was in fact a mere six inches high.
"Oro?" Kenshin knelt, laying his head sideways on the floor to peer through the tiny glass panels. He saw an elegant garden, with a gravel path wandering through flowerbeds, around sakura trees and up to a small pond. There was a glint of light as the sun reflected off the scales of a leaping koi. And hopping along that path, ears alert and perky, was Kaoru.
"Ororo?" How had she done that? She was short, certainly -- delightfully petite -- and slender, but...
Gingerly, he tried the door, twisting the miniature brass knob between his thumb and forefinger. As he'd feared, it was locked. Kaoru was rapidly hopping out of sight. He had to act quickly if he was to deliver her lunch in a timely manner. He leapt to his feet beside the door, carefully balanced the plate on his head and slid into battou-jutsu stance. His hand hovered just above the hilt of his sakabatou. A moment of stillness stretched out unbearably, until like lightning, he struck, slicing the rice-paper of the walls in an 'X.' The paper curled back to reveal...
...another wood-beam-and-rice-paper wall.
His eyes narrowed in an expression of ferocity that could strike fear into the hearts of samurai and support beam alike. He struck again. And again. And again. And a few more times after that. Each time, the architecture crumbled before his onslaught, only to reveal another wall.
This was getting ridiculous. He'd sliced through several inches of wall here, far more than the thickness of the tiny door. Where was the garden?
Turning away from the relentlessly unyielding wall, he saw something in the middle of the corridor that he was quite certain had not been there a few moments before. It was a three-legged glass table, perhaps three feet tall. On top of it was a tiny brass key. Laying the plate of onigiri on top of the table, he took the key. Could it be…?
Indeed it was. The tiny key slid into the tiny lock, and with a satisfying tiny snick, the door opened. A soft breeze carried the gentle scents of spring to his nose, which was more or less the only part of his face he could fit through the narrow little door. Kenshin's head was simply not going to fit, much less the rest of his body. He was short, but not that short, Kami be thanked.
Well, that wasn't going to work. He stood back up, and the door swung closed again. Sighing, he walked back to the table, and set the key back down. But something new had joined the onigiri on the glass table. It was a teacup. A large teacup, to be sure, almost the size of a sake jug. But it was a teacup, and it seemed to be filled with freshly whisked green tea. There was a note next to it. It read: Drink Me.
"For sessha? Masaka..." As Kenshin was a very polite rurouni, he couldn't simply assume the tea was really for him. Surely it was meant for someone else who would no doubt be along soon. He took back the plate of onigiri, lest this anticipated wanderer devour Kaoru's lunch by mistake along with the tea. Kenshin looked up and down the corridor, but no one was approaching. Looking back down at the table, he saw that the note now read: Yes, you, Kenshin no Baka.
"Yare, yare," he murmured. "There's nothing wrong with being polite." He lifted the teacup to his lips.
It was the best green tea Kenshin had ever tasted, although it contained the flavors of jasmine, ginger, honey, sea-salt, and buttered toast in a most peculiar un-green-tea-like fashion. He took a sip, and set the cup down while he closed his eyes to savor the complexity of the tea. Oishii.
Eyes still closed, Kenshin swayed on his feet a moment, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. He wobbled, but caught himself on a glass pillar. Wait. That hadn't been here before. The table had apparently disappeared, too --
Wait... Oh, no. No, no, no. It couldn't be. But...The doors along the corridor now looked exceedingly large, and the ceiling seemed much farther away than it had a moment ago. And the pillar upon which he was leaning seemed to have two twins nearby, and above them was a huge glass disc...
It could not be denied. He had somehow shrunk to a mere 3 inches in height. "Ororo!" This is what came of drinking strange tea in the middle of even stranger halls; he should have known better.
This would never do. He had difficulty persuading people to take him seriously before without resorting to his sakabatou; now... How Shishou would laugh! It was going to be very difficult to protect Kaoru like this, although he suspected a Ryu Tsui Sen would do serious damage to a kneecap.
Kaoru! Yes! Shishou could laugh all he wanted to, because now Kenshin and his similarly-shrunken onigiri could easily fit through the door to the garden. He jogged back to the door, which was now a considerable distance from the table. The brass knob rattled beneath his hand, but would not turn. It was locked... and the key was on top of the glass table.
Kenshin returned to the table to ponder the problem. The glass was far too slippery to climb, especially carrying the onigiri. But the key was at the very edge of the table. His nine-headed-dragon-strike ought to shake the table sufficiently to vibrate the key right off the edge. Kenshin nodded decisively. It ought to work. It was no more improbable than the Futae no Kiwami, after all.
Kenshin stood back, again balancing the plate of onigiri on his head so he didn't accidentally step on it. With a fierce battle cry, he launched himself at the table leg, body moving in a blur, the strikes seeming to come from nine sakabatou rather than one. At the end of the attack, he leapt back, and extended a hand just in time to catch the plummeting brass key. Yatta!
Then Kenshin heard a sound. He'd have to describe it as a cracking sound; a peculiarly glassy cracking sound, something like 'skrinkle.' He looked at the table leg to see a network of tiny cracks flow up and down like water pouring out from the point of impact, and the table top begin to topple. In slow motion, he watched as the huge teacup, still mostly full of tea, came plummeting down. Hitting the floor beside him, the vast cup shattered, and a wave of tea pulled him under and washed him away.
*Sorry that it's not an Alice quote. The best I could come up with was "O Door!", a play off of Alice's attempt to address the mouse in schoolbook Latin. And that was getting a little too obscure, even for me.
I apologize for leaving off the Japanese glossary in Parts 1 and 2!
Here it is for Part 3:
baka: a frequently used non-obscene insult. Literally, 'stupid'.
battou-jutsu: a name for Kenshin's style, emphasizing rapid drawing of the sword.
futae no kiwami: the name of Sano's object-shattering punch
kami: God or Gods
masaka: It couldn't be.
oishii: tasty
onigiri: rice balls, in this case, decorated to look like bunny rabbits
Ryu tsui sen: One of Kenshin's leaping moves, where he hits as he's descending.
sakabatou: a reverse-blade sword.
sakura: cherry-blossom
Shishou: 'Master'; what Kenshin calls Hiko Seijirou.
shoji: rice-paper and wood sliding doors
Yare yare: 'Now, now' or 'whatever'
Yatta: Yay!