slumberparty

Title: "Slumber Party"
(Part two in the 'And Life Goes On' Series)
Author: Spikelicious
Disclaimer: Er. Joss and Fox and ME own all characters contained herein.
Dedication: To NMissi and Fenchurch and Delylah (sp?), who helped me come up with this story.
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Spike stared at the gaggle of teenage girls in awe. He had never seen such a sight in all his unlife. There were toenails being painted, popcorn being devoured, movies being 'awwwed' over, and he could swear to Satan that as he'd left the room earlier he'd heard one of the Nibblet's friends exclaim in a hushed whisper, "your cousin is a major babe!!!"

All in all, he was feeling a little nauseous.

"Spike, can you bring in that last pepperoni pizza?"

Spike stared down at Dawn, who was currently having her hair braided by Brunette Who Speaks Too Loudly While Popping Her Gum. With the remote in one hand and her diet coke in the other, Dawn held court in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by her six friends. The girls had staked their territory, pushing back the living room furniture in order to be able to sprawl out amongst their sleeping bags, junk food hordes, and various and sundry makeup items that tended to come in murky shades with names such as 'sludge' and 'midnight oil'. Although a particularly nice shade of black caught Spike's eye, he resisted the urge to swipe it and instead turned back to the kitchen to fetch Dawn's latest request. As he pulled the pizza out of the oven where he'd put it to keep it warm, he began to slowly and methodically curse the BuffyBot and the day he'd had it commissioned. This entire night was all the 'Bot's fault.

"...and its stupid, cheery comments. 'Why don't you ask your friends to come here? Would that make you happy? Spike will stay and make sure you're safe while I patrol!' Stupid, bloody robot!"

"Spike, why are you upset? And why are you yelling at the pizza?" The BuffyBot came into the kitchen and closed the back door behind it carefully. Shrugging off its--Buffy's--leather jacket, the 'Bot came to stand expectantly in front of Spike.

"What?" he demanded brusquely, not able to even look at it for very long. It was the spitting image of his dead love, and the representation of his biggest humiliation. Well, self-inflicted humilation. Then again, Buffy's mechanical double had kept Dawn from being sent to a foster home. He busied himself recutting the pizza slices.

"Stupid gits never do cut these all the way through, pick up a slice and have cheese sliding off onto the floor."

The 'Bot peered at him. "Spike, are you talking to the pizza again? Or to me? I don't have the files appropriate to this line of conversation. Perhaps you will apprise Willow of the necessary information? She is my best friend..."

Spike groaned at the thing's incessant prattling. With horror he realized that the realistic robot he'd had commissioned with such joy now irritated him almost as much as Harmony had. Almost. Thankfully, the 'Bot had no overwhelming urges to have him take her to France.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, she's your best friend and recently gay. Why don't you go shut off for the night? I'll handle the nightmare in the other room."

The 'Bot immediately came to attention. "Nightmare? Is there a demon or some other hideous creature lurking in the living room? I must protect Dawn!" Before Spike could stop the robot, it had charged into the living, skidding to a halt in the middle of group of girls.

Surveying the startled teens, the 'Bot stepped back carefully and turned to Spike, who had followed it into the living room.

"Spike, I don't see any demons. I only see Dawn's similarly-aged female friends having their 'sleeping at our house' event."

Spike mumbled, "not much difference" but whirled around and went back into the kitchen, returning a moment later with the pizza, paper plates and napkins.

Dawn untangled her hair from her friend's busily braiding hands and scrambled to her feet. Taking the 'Bot's arm, she began to lead it towards the stairs even as she was introducing it to her friends.

"Ah, this is my sister, Buffy. Buffy, this is Karen, Tina, Alexis, Danielle, Michelle and Cory."

The 'Bot created a new file called 'Dawn's female friends' and placed the girls' names in the file for future reference, then accessed her Social Niceties file.

"It is my pleasure to meet you, Karen, Tina, Alexis, Danielle, Michelle and Cory. I am Buffy, Dawn's sister and legal guardian. Are you all having fun with the 'sleeping at our house' event?"

Dawn heard Spike snort from behind her but she didn't turn, instead pulling the 'Bot up the landing to the stairs. The girls eyed 'Buffy' strangely but let out a chorus of 'yeah, thanks for letting us come over' and 'it's lots of fun' and 'can we come over more often?' This last was from Red-haired Pigtail Girl, who was eyeing Spike with undisguised interest.

Dawn whispered to the 'Bot, "I need to talk to you upstairs, it's important!"

The 'Bot nodded cheerfully. "Okay! I enjoy talking with you, Dawn. You are my sister and I love you very much."

Dawn nodded and let the 'Bot go upstairs first so that she could shoot a beseeching look at Spike, who was smirking at her from his 'fight or flight' position by the doorway to the kitchen.

Spike edged his way around the group of girls taking up most of the living room and bounded up the stairs behind Dawn and the Buffybot. He stopped in the hallway by Buffy's old room and watched as Dawn convinced the 'Bot that she 'needed a hug'. As she moved into the robot's embrace, she pressed the off button located in the 'Bot's left armpit.

Spike smirked at Dawn's clever way of getting the 'Bot turned off; the BuffyBot didn't really think it was a robot and usually resisted being switched off, which often made for long nights in the Summers' household. For some unknown reason, the BuffyBot had a penchant of unknown origins for poorly-made Hong Kong action movies, which had been discovered on an impromptu visit to the local video store with Dawn.

"Geez, Spike. Give a girl a hand, here." Dawn was attempting to move the 'Bot over to the bed. Spike lifted the 'Bot easily and placed it in bed, where Dawn covered it up so that if any of the other girls wandered into this room they would think Buffy was sleeping.

At that image, Spike quickly backed out of the room. Although empty for months now, Buffy's bedroom still smelled like her, and the essence of its former occupant still lingered persistently. Dawn saw Spike's mounting discomfort and followed him out into the hallway, pulling the door shut firmly behind her.

On impulse, Dawn grabbed the vampire and pulled him into a fierce hug. "I love you, you big, blonde, doof" she murmured playfully, then releasing him just as quickly and turning away. Cocking his head at his Nibblet, he smiled and followed her down the stairs, although much more quietly. He marvelled at the amount of noise one slender girl could make. It sounded like that Olaf the Troll wanker was thumping down the stairs rather than a fifteen-year old teen.

Dawn had reseated herself with her friends and smiled sweetly up at Spike as he gauged the distance between the landing and the kitchen door.

"Spike, do you think you could make us those ice cream floats you promised? We're almost done here with the pizza," she added, waving the last slice that one of the girls had saved for her at him. "I'd help you, but our movie is almost to the really good part."

Spike snorted, shaking his head. "I still don't know what you chits see in that Freddie Whatsisname Jr. bloke. He is not all that."

Squeals of protest filled the air as he made his way cagily around the girls. "Give me half a 'mo, pets, I'll have them ready in a jiffy."

He retreated to the relative safety of the kitchen and pulled the creme soda from the fridge and the vanilla ice cream from the freezer. Fetching seven glasses, he arranged them on the serving tray kept on the counter.

From the other room, he heard Dawn enthuse, "You guys, Spike makes the best floats. He's good at that kind of thing."

One of the other girls mock-whispered, "I bet that's not all he's good at."

Spike paled; damned vampire hearing. He was tempted to peek around the corner to identify the harlot who was unduly influencing his Nibblet with lusty thoughts and improper comments.

"Hell, William, back to your corner," he chastised his inner pillock as he plopped scoops of vanilla ice cream in each of the glasses.

Dawn spoke from her unnoticed position leaning against the door frame. "Hey, Spike, talk to yourself much?"

Spike grimaced. It was the second time tonight he'd been caught talking to himself, surely a sign of his impending descent into madness brought on by the influx of female hormones into their normally stable household. Well, stable for them, he amended, considering that he was a 'reformed' vampire, Dawn had formerly been a mystical glowy ball of energy, and they were regularly attended by two witches, an ex-vengeance demon and a...Xander.

Dawn grinned, realizing that he was probably indulging in another internal monologue. "Listen, Spike, don't forget the straws, okay?"

"For the love of...anything else I can get you, pet? Would you like me to paint your nails, perhaps?"

Dawn shook her head. "Nah, I already did that. But you know, one of the girls brought this awesome shade of black. I could do your nails for you!" She pasted an enthusiastic and hopeful look on her face, trying to smother the devilish grin lurking beneath the surface. So few pastimes in life were as enjoyable as baiting the century-plus undead punk vampire who had proclaimed himself her protector.

The look of horror on Spike's face did not disappoint, and Dawn shrugged, deciding to have pity on him. "Okay, maybe another time."

She flounced back into the other room, leaving Spike to stare after her, mentally repeating a newly-formed and devoutly believed-in mantra...never another sleepover, never another sleepover...

Just as he was about to bring the tray of ice cream concotions into the living room, the phone rang. On impulse he grabbed the kitchen extension, yelling "I got it!"

"Hullo?" Spike shifted the phone so that it was placed firmly between his ear and shoulder and hefted the drink tray.

"I rented a new game tonight. Wanna play?" Xander asked without preamble, knowing Spike would most likely say yes. A month earlier, Xander had finally purchased his much-desired Playstation 2, only to bring it over and hook it up at the Summers' house two weeks later. Every time Xander had tried to play it at home, Anya would complain that he was wasting time that could be better spent having sex, then come over and comment on his lack of video-playing prowess. Inevitably she would end up yanking the controller away from him and finishing the game herself. Xander didn't know which frightened him more, the startling dexterity she used to play and win games in record time, or the bloodthirsty relish she showed for killing every possible opponent the video game could throw at her. And then demand what she had affectionately dubbed 'victory sex'. So now, he simply brought games over so that he could play with either Spike or Dawn and be relatively confident that his manhood would be threatened in only a non-literal way.

Plopping straws into the floats, Spike was about to warn Xander about the goings-on in the other room when an evil smile crossed his face. The only thing that could make this night any more endurable, aside from the thought that Dawn really was incredibly grateful that he'd gone to the trouble to allow her a night of normal, non-Hellmouthy fun, was sharing his misery with Harris.

"Sure, c'mon over, mate." They disconnected, neither one of them big on social skills, especially with each other. It was one of the things that made their friendship--the one that neither one of them would admit to having even on pain of death or dusting--work so well. They didn't put up with each other's shit, and they both knew that they could count on each other in a pinch, no matter the circumstances. Spike had recently even stopped stealing Xander's wallet.

Balancing the tray on one hand and grabbing more napkins with the other, he entered the living room and presented the tray to Dawn with a flourish.

"Your refreshments, m'lady." The girls giggled and Black Dye Job With Multiple Piercings scooted a hair closer to where he crouched as he set the tray down in front of Dawn. Eyeing Piercings Girl, he quickly stood and crossed over to the front door to wait for Harris.

He didn't have to wait for long. Just at the movie had ended and Dawn had proclaimed the need for "N'Sync and a pillow fight" the doorbell rang. Spike swung the door wide and grabbed Xander's arm in one fluid movement, pulling him and shutting the door behind him. After a second, he locked it, too.

Xander surveyed the scene that met his disbelieving gaze. Seven teenaged girls flailed around the room, pounding each other viciously with their pillows and laughing hysterically. The only girl he recognized managed to call a cease-fire long enough to stumble over and give him a hug.

"Hey, guys! This is Xander, he's like my big brother, and he's getting married soon and I get to be his fiance's Maid of Honor! Say hi, everyone!"

At the cheerfully breathless chorus of hellos, Xander rounded on Spike.

"You...you...evil thing! You let me come over when there were, when this was..." he trailed off, balefully regarding Spike as he lost coherent speech.

Spike shrugged and smiled gleefully. "Misery loves company, mate. So, you bring the game?"

Xander gaped. "You--you think I'm staying? Ha ha, very funny. I have to get up for work in the morning, anyway, so I'll just be on my merry way-" He started to brush past Spike, but the vampire grabbed his arm and murmured,

"Now, Lil' Bit isn't going to like it if you leave without saying goodbye. You want to hurt her feelings?" It was asked softly, but Xander could detect a hint of menace to the words, and realized he'd raised the vampire's protective feelings towards Dawn.

Sighing, he turned to face the girls, who had gone back to pouncing on each other and shrieking at levels that would have alerted every dog in the neighborhood if they hadn't all recently been devoured by a canine-devouring demon.

Audible only to Spike, he whispered "You are so gonna pay for this. And not in the 'I'm gonna pay for this outta Xander's wallet' sense, either."

Turning to the living room, he cleared his throat. "Ah, Dawnster? Listen, I just came by to drop this game off so you and Spike could practice it. You know, for another night." He thrust the bag from the video store in her general direction.

Not knowing about the phone call and that originally Xander had intended on staying, she smiled.

"Thanks, Xand! That means that Spike and I can tag team your ass!"

"Nibblet! Such language!" Spike grinned at Dawn until he heard one of the girls whisper, "I wouldn't mind tag-teaming Spike's ass!"

Choking, Spike mumbled, "Can I be deaf?" Xander quickly turned and pushed by Spike, who was torn between the desire to curse the man's cowardly nature and the impulse to beg Xander to take him with. Neither won, and in fact Spike simply stepped back and let Xander get out his hasty goodbyes before rushing out the door, which Spike swung shut after him.

Eventually, the girls settled into their sleeping bags. Spike could hear them hunkering down on the floor from his chair in the basement, where he'd retreated after Xander had left. With a sigh, he made his way back upstairs to make sure all the doors and windows were locked and all the lights were off.

He made the rounds quickly and was about to creep back into the basement when Dawn called out to him.

"Spike?"

His hand on the door knob, he froze, as if caught in the act of Breaking and Entering instead of Fleeing and Hiding.

"Spike, we were gonna tell ghost stories-"

"oh, okay then, nice, normal sleepover thing, g'night-"

"-but I thought you could come tell us a scary story instead." Dawn shifted so that her face was illuminated by the pale cast of the light nearby. She looked hopeful and not at all teasing, so he paused.

"Um, Nibblet, I don't think those stories are...appropriate." Understatement, that. He could hear Buffy's voice as clear as if she were standing next to him, low with warning and undisguised threats against his person. "Yes, let's hear the story you were telling my sister." God, he missed her.

Dawn pouted beautifully, especially when she was fairly certain she would get her way. This particular vampire could be strict when necessary, but tended to bend to her will on the little things. 'Probably from dealing with Drusilla', she reflected thoughtfully. 'Let her have her way most of the time but always took care of her and kept her safe'. Biting her lip, Dawn regarded the handsome vampire who had become like a father to her. Okay, a childish and often annoying father who whined a lot, but still. She loved him so much, and she wished more than anything at that moment that Buffy was here, that her sister could have allowed herself to be happy with Spike.

Shaking away thoughts that would only make her miserable, she refreshed her pout, which had lapsed into a thoughtful gaze that had not gone unnoticed by Spike.

"Dawn?" He sensed that she'd lapsed into their shared world of guilt and grief, and wanted to prevent it from ruining her evening. Especially since he'd be damned again if he'd let himself get suckered into another 'sleeping at our house' event.

"Spike, c'mon. Tell us one of those stories. You know, the ones you read very detailed, graphic acounts of?" Dawn widened her eyes, trying to telegraph her obvious suggestion that he tell one of his own stories and pretend he'd only read about it.

Sighing heavily, he came over and started to sit on the couch, but Dawn grabbed his leg and pulled him over to her until he sat in the space she'd cleared by scooting into Girl With Pizza Cheese Stuck In Her Braces.

Resigned to his fate, he leaned forward and let his gaze roam around the circle, captivating each girl with a look. As he began to speak in hushed tones, the girls all listened with anticipation.

"Okay, about a hundred years ago, there was this bad, evil man who had decided to murder a family in their own house..."

* * * * *

"GAH!" Spike jumped to his feet, shaking his hand frantically, which was still smoking from contact with the sliver of daylight that had sliced across the room from the gap in the curtains. He'd been asleep, stretched out behind Dawn's prone form on the floor, when the pain had registered in his subconscious. He was already cowering in the safety of the stairwell before he blearily realized that all the other curtains had been drawn and the one small gap was the only danger to his unlife.

His attention drifted to the pile of unconscious females in the center of the living room. They were in various states of repose, but he only registered Dawn, who appeared to still be sleeping and comfortable.

Satisfied that they would be fine if he went to sleep downstairs, he made his way to the basement door, opened it and slipped past it. Just as he was about to let it click behind him, he heard the soft, sleep-heavy voice murmur,

"Thanks, Spike. For giving me a night of normal." Before he could reply to her heartfelt gratitude, she had drifted off to sleep again.

"Anytime, Nibblet." He took the stairs two at a time down to his 'bedroom', and was settled into bed before he reconsidered that last statement. As he drifted off into his own much-needed rest he amended,

"Actually, Nibblet, never again. Never, ever, ever. Even a vampire who has already spent over a hundred years with a psychotic, psychic vampiress has his limits."