A/N: it's a slash alert!! Pietro/Lace (it's one sided) so be AWARE!! Also, minimal talk of rape and lots of cussing (seriously, this is Lance's rant!) oh, yeah…I don't own X men Evolution!
Also, I want to thank everyone who reviewed this fic! I love you guys (and girls) to bits for all the great feedback! Because of one review by "www.ta.com", I'm going to write another musing about Lance and his past, just for you! This is just something in the meantime! I hope you guys like it!
Gunning Down Romance
Romance has no part in life. It's a rule, romance is meant for fairytales and books about people killing themselves for love, but it's not for real life.
If love's what makes the world go round, then romance is what makes black holes in space (the ones that suck up everything? Yeah, those.) Love, as in the kind that mothers are giving their children (at least until they turn ten and decide to start enjoying life) exists as much as sunny days do (everyone's seen them, but no one remembers that they did), it's real, rare, and the most useless thing imaginable, because eventually it abandons you in search of a new victim and you miss it.
Romance, on the other hand, doesn't exist, nor should it, because if love leaves you empty and alone, romance leaves you empty, alone, and missing your wallet (if you have it, some people bump into romance while they're still small, innocent and have no cash.)
I'm talking about the kind of "love" that boyfriends and girlfriends (or the married versions) share.
People pretend that romance is love, which is just plain wrong. Romance is a give and take relationship, where the giver is known collectively as "Sucker" and the taker is known as "player" and should be avoided at all costs! THEY ARE DANGEROUS!!
This is what I learned on the street, very easy lesson, too. I'm trying to teach it now, and I think it's working, because a few of my friends are safe from romance (I have to live with them, I am not about to let them get crushes! God knows Pietro Maximoff would go all hyper and happy and maybe stop making sense all together, and Todd…I don't wanna think about it.)
I've been taught in every way possible that romance sucks, especially for people who have no intentions of playing. (I count into that category, I really do! Swear on my fucking mother's grave!)
Being a little kid with parents that didn't want you, you get used to love being a rare thing. Really, it was the first thing I learned, that love wasn't something you find in family, friends, etc.
The other guys learned it too. Todd, his dad put him in a mental home to keep him quiet, Pietro's parents left him, promised to come back, and didn't, he can't even remember them. Fred's been laughed at all his life.
Some times I wonder what it would be like if they were all like the X freaks, having a family, only coming to the brotherhood because of their mutations.
Wondering, I do a lot of that. Ever since Mystique left us, I've been leader, brother, friend and provider. The guys are my family, sort of. And they may be the most screwed up family on earth, but goddamn it we'll stay the fucking family as long as I'm alive.
We're strange that way, the guys (and me too, I'm like them too! OH JOY!!) haven't had a proper home in who knows how long, especially Pietro and Todd, 'cause Freddy used to have a house (even though his parents laughed at him a lot, jerks.) the point is, the brotherhood is all I've got left, I don't know what to do without the guys, it's become like some sort of routine…Drive to school, drive them from school, make sure Pietro's home by eleven, make sure Todd didn't break anything from his 'Duncan time'…help Freddy with his home work, go to work…make Pietro and Todd do groceries…things like that. Just like a family. A screwed up family.
I don't know what to do if they break us up, but I think I can guess the other's reactions…Pietro would race around a bit, find a place, get himself a home, then run away again. Todd would probably get caught out in the streets, Freddy would find another town and get a job and apartment or something.
The thing is, I think they'd care.
We're a family, and as much as the place is falling apart, I think I like my home right now, even if just because it's a real home, with friends…people I'd miss.
I try to protect them from romance.
I do, really…well, as much as I can without getting out there a telling the world "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS!!" (I really want to do that sometimes.)
That's what I do, protect them, not from the world, though, 'cause it's already done it's worse to them and they've made it through. (Maybe the guys aren't sane anymore, but they're through.) I'm their guardian, since Mystique decided she didn't want the crazy bunch of mutties any more, it's all up to me, and I think I'm getting to like it, too.
So I protect them, not that they'll ever notice, I don't want them to either, but I'm still protecting them, just to make sure they don't die and leave me.
(Selfish, isn't it?)
Romance is something I've tried to protect them from, it ruins people, and Todd, Pietro and Freddy don't need to be ruined any more. (SO unhealthy!!)
I'm glad Rogue left…because at some point I was freaked out that I might fall for the Goth Bitch. Of course, Lance Avlers never falls in love. Seriously, Romance is way overrated!
Right now though, I think it's pretty safe to say that none of the guys are busy falling for girls/guys/hairy monkeys/whatever blows their fucking horns. (it doesn't really matter in the long run any way, just to tell you people, guys leave you just as badly wounded as girls)
I miss Rogue.
I can't believe I'm saying it, but I seriously miss the Goth Bitch, I mean, if not for the brilliant conversations we never had, then just for the fact that she could make pancakes and cleaned the place a bit. Even if I did fall for her, I think the pancakes are worth it.
We need a maid, or a girl, either's fine. As long as it's not Mystique.
I think it's great that things are going so fucking well for us (you can drown in my pool of sarcasm here) well, as long as I've got a job and there's a little food on the table (more like in the fridge, keeping food on the table when Freddy's around has proved to be too much like tempting a black hole.) We're still alive and kicking. Sort of. But I still wish Mystique had left us a bit more then two thousand dollars. Goddamn it, the money's running out!! (I've been thinking about running Pietro through a job. he's got too much time on his hands as it is. God, nothing can keep the guy down for over half an hour.)
About romance. Romance Sucks (laterally, it sucks out your brains and wallet and leaves behind it a mushy thing they call fluff, which is what happens when you get all mushy with a girl/guy/whatever.) I've been thinking, and all the people who I could possibly call properly alright (as in not too insane to be considered jerks and losers.) haven't shown any signs to being affected by Romance.
Count with me!
Rogue (psycho bitch or not, you've gotta admit, she's the only sane girl in town) has no stupid crushes, or at least non that are affecting her (she's a psycho after all!)
Pietro, Todd, Freddy are decent, and they're completely disinterested in other people. Can't really blame them, this town sucks major ass.
Mystique…unless you count her infatuation with the blue boy, she's properly avoiding romance. And love in general.
About Magneto? I wouldn't know, but since there's no "magneta" that I know of, I think he's all right. If not, well, he's not all that sane anyway.
The X freaks on the other hand, are all dating each other, except Daniels, who can't get a date and so spends his Friday nights bothering other people and challenging Pietro about everything.
Funny…isn't it? I've spent so much time protecting the guys when the only person I can think of that might pull them into a stupid romantic "adventure" is really me, Lance Avlers the earth shaker.
I shouldn't flatter myself, really. I know they're all straight and stuff, that's why I'd rather be the one protecting them from Romance. But really, it's nice to be able to get so close to Pietro without having him look at me strangely. It's nice to have someone like him, even if it's just for a friend.
Yeah, I'm admitting it, I've got a thing for Pietro Maximoff the speed demon. Why not?
It was damn hard to admit it, but then again…really, it's obvious, isn't it? I stare at him, I listen to his breathing at night, I try to get close to him, protect him, just because I like him! I'm building my life around a boy who doesn't notice me simply because I'm Lance, and I would never hurt him.
I wouldn't, of course. I might be a loser, but I'm decent enough to keep my stupid wishes to myself, especially about Pietro.
He's nice, really. And we're nice together, too. Like best friends. The thing is, whenever he's got a problem (which isn't often, Pietro doesn't get problems) I'm the one he talks to. We sit in my room, and sometimes we're lying on the bed together, just because it's nice to be able to be near someone.
It's so easy to just reach over and touch him. So easy to just snuggle into him and leave it like that. Who cares about explaining, right?
I wouldn't do that, of course. I'm decent and I'd never hurt Pietro, just because he's younger and I could beat the crap out of him before he gets to the floor is no reason to assume that I'm going to rape him. He's my friend.
And besides, I don't rape people.
Ok, so I still think…no! I know! Romance sucks! And whatever I've got for Pietro, it's not gonna ruin anything because he'll never find out. I won't hurt him like that. Not ol' Lancy! No wallet sucking asshole here! (Except when I need to get the groceries and Pietro has something in there)
So yeah, we're friends, and yeah, I like him, and yeah, it's a lost case because Romance sucks ass and I won't ruin my protection mission by getting it on with Pietro. Even if he is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
(Ever seen Pietro Maximoff when he's trying to cook breakfast? That is so…I will not say cute! I refuse!! )
I think I need to get a life, but I won't, because there are three guys out there that need to be protected. If only from Romance.
END
A/N: ok, so it's slash…can you blame me? these things are gonna have a few couples, some one sided, since you've read that Pietro hasn't mentioned Lance a bit. Well…what do you guys think? Not as angsty as you'd think Lance's rant would be, but I was trying for something more easy going then that heavy stuff with Todd and Pietro. How did I do?
Next comes Mystique and Magneto, since I've started both (and Mystique's almost finished), after that, it's probably Rogue and Freddy. please R&R, for ideas, comments, questions, and suggested couples, put in a review!
I'm thinking about making another Lance fic, one about his past. How 'bout it?