growingpains

Title: "Growing Pains' (fourth in the 'And Life Goes On' series)
Author: Spikelicious
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playin'.
Feedback: Please.
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Spike stared at Dawn for a moment, his mounting horror written plainly on his expressive face. After a few more seconds, his body sank to the couch as if he'd lost all muscular control.

Dawn sighed. "Geez, melodramatic, much? It's only a first date," she reasoned, even though her stomach was currently holding its latest butterfly riot. She knew that Spike was overly protective of her and hoped that he wasn't going to give her a hard time for every teen milestone she crossed, especially since those kinds of events tended to be traumatic enough.

"The first date, Lil' Bit." Spike looked up at her, a suddenly suspicious look creeping over his features. "The whelp...er, young man in question will be picking you up here, right?"

Dawn nodded. "Yeah, his mom, actually. He's still only fifteen and isn't allowed to take the car with only a learners' permit."

'Well,' thought Spike, 'at least there will be no 'parking' at Lovers' Lane type of thing...wait, would they walk up there? She wouldn't...but if he was crafty enough he just might convince her, and then not only would she be in danger from the whelp but all the nasties lurking about...'

He shook himself out of his reverie. and faced Dawn. "What?"

"I didn't say anything." Dawn frowned. She really had to get Spike to quit indulging in these internal monologues. Maybe she'd remind him that when he did that, he looked like Angel. 'That would make him snap out of it for sure,' she thought wickedly.

Spike bllinked. He'd really have to quit talking to himself, even if it was only in his head. He was becoming broody like his pillock of a grandsire, Angel. Couldn't have that; he'd have to stake himself for sure and Dawn definitely still needed him around to protect her from boys. Oh, and monsters and such.

Dawn cleared her voice and Spike focused his attention on his young charge.

"So, this boy-"

"Todd."

"-this Todd, will be picking you up here? At what time?"

"Um, like seven?"

Spike frowned. "Like seven? Didn't he give you a time?"

Dawn rolled her eyes in that way only a teenaged female can do and sighed in exasperation. "Okay, here's the deal. I respect the fact that you're my father figure, and I love you for it. You're also my friend, and I know it's hard to accept that I'm also a girl who wants to do normal girl stuff and not hang around with you and kill demons and stuff."

Spike began to protest. "Hey, I don't want you killing anything-"

Dawn cut him off. "Spike. I know you love me and want to protect me. I get that, okay? But you want me to be happy too, right? And that means you have to let me live my life and maybe that means letting me take chances and make mistakes."

She sat down next to the vampire and leaned against his slumped shoulder.

After a moment, she continued. "His name is Todd Wilson. He's in my English class and I really like him. His mom will drive us to and from the movie, where we'll be meeting up with Alexis and her boyfriend."

Spike regarded the girl he thought of as a daughter closely. Heaving a weary sigh, he threw his hands up in the universally-recognized gesture of defeat. With an excited squeal, Dawn launched herself into his embrace and hugged him fiercely.

"Thanks, Spike," she whispered into his chest, aware of how much it cost him to allow her these small victories, when all he wanted to do was lock her up until she was eighteen. Or eighty. The image of her young, blonde 'grandson' visiting her nursing home to make sure there were no men in her room made her giggle.

Eyeing the top of her head strangely, he returned the hug for a moment, then pushed her away gently and held her at arm's length. "I still want to meet him before you leave," he warned, and she gulped. Hopefully, after being under Spike's close scrutiny and possible menace, Todd would still be willing to go out with her.

She bounded up the stairs, yelling about how she had to figure out what to wear, and Spike sat back against the couch contemplating his current unlife. He couldn't help but reflect on that last night of Buffy's life, when he'd promised to protect Dawn until the end of the world. Buffy hadn't said anything about boys.

Buffy. His undead heart clenched at the very thought of her; of course, she was always in the back of his mind, but usually it was like a dull ache that could mostly be ignored. Sometimes, though, her memory danced into the front of his mind and all he could do was watch. Images of their tumultuous and often violent past would flicker through his head, always ending that night over her broken and still body.

Shaking his head to clear it of his grief and introspection, he couldn't help one last thought: What would Buffy think of the job I'm doing with our Nibblet? How our little girl has grown', he thought ruefully.

He replayed that last thought. Had he just referred to Dawn as his and Buffy's little girl'? Like he was some kind of undead widower? How strange could unlife get? Passions had nothing on his bizarre existence.

Eventually, he could hear Dawn's chirpy voice and assumed she was on the phone, regaling one of her little friends with the tale of how she'd defeated the Big Bad Cousin Spike, Guardian of Dawn and Threat to All Enjoyable Teen Pursuits. They'd been phasing the BuffyBot out of their everyday lives, only firing her up for non-routine patrols and Social Services visits. She was simply too painful a reminder of the woman they had all lost to keep her around every minute of the day. So, to Dawn's friends Spike was the obstacle to get around when it came to extracurricular activities, not 'Buffy'.

Soon, Dawn thumped down the stairs and came over to face Spike, who was still sitting where she'd left him.

"Uh, Spike? Danielle wants me to come with her to the mall. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. You need a lift, pet?" Spike noticed that although she'd applied lip gloss, she had little if anything else on her face and was dressed in normal jeans and t-shirt. Normal, mall-going clothes, he thought gratefully.

Dawn shook her head. "Her big sister is gonna bring us since she works there anyway. I'll need a ride home, though."

For a second, Dawn saddened. 'I wish my big sister was still around to drive me to the mall. Not that she could drive, or that I would ride with her if she could, but still.'

A horn sounded outside and Dawn shifted her glance to Spike guiltily. He merely raised an eyebrow. "Forget to mention you were going anyway, pet?"

"No, no, it's just that her sister was leaving so she figured she'd stop by and if I couldn't go she'd just go alone."

Spike waved her excuse away. "Nibblet, am I really that bad? Don't answer that, just go and have fun. Call me when you need a lift home." Dawn caught him in another quick hug before sprinting to the door.

"Oi, Nibblet! D'you need any money?"

Dawn started to say no, then thought better of it and returned, holding her hand out as he stood up and began rummaging through his pockets. He handed over what he found, which only amounted to about twenty dollars. She flashed him a grateful smile as she pocketed it and ran out the door, making sure when she opened it that he wasn't in the path of the swath of deadly sunlight.

Gestures like that made him not mind the fact that he'd just surrendered his blood and smokes money. Well, almost, he amended, as his hunger, having been awakened at the thought of blood, washed over him and the need for a cigarette became almost painful in its intensity.

It was time to get a job, he supposed. To bad putting one's unlife on the line and killing things that would like to devour the human race wasn't a paying gig. Hank's child support, which filtered in every month or so, just about covered the mortgage on the house. Giles sent checks for their groceries and paid their utilities from overseas, and Xander often stopped by with cash for Dawn and also usually provided their entertainment in the form of rented Playstation 2 games or videos. Anya often brought snacks when she accompanied him, and tended to buy too much so that there was usually junk food lying around the house for a few days. When they all met at the Bronze, it seemed to be an unspoken rule that somebody else pay for Spike's Buffalo wings and beer. That was, if he hadn't already won a day of Xander's pay in a pool game or hustled some unsuspecting frat boys.

But it was time for him to support the Nibblet a little more and to stop having to always leech of his friends.

Spike chuckled at his own joke. 'Leech, and I'm a vampire, heh'.

Realizing that he was laughing at a joke he'd made in his head, he let his head fall into his hands. Maybe all those years with Dru had had a worse effect than he'd thought.

After a few moments of hosting a really good pity party, he shrugged off his funk and picked up the phone, dialing the number to Willow and Tara's dorm room. He'd been playing with an idea for the last week or so and it was looking pretty appealing right now, in the face of his inevitable job search.

"Tara? Yeh, s'me. Will there? Can you guys come over? I'd like to run an idea by you and you both need to be here."

He cut the connection and sat back to wait for the two witches to arrive.

* * * * *

"...so, if I get a job, I'll be gone nights and I'd need someone here to watch Dawn. It's all fine and well for her to spend the night with you guys or at Harris', but not on a regular basis, you know? I mean, she's gotta have a sense of stability and she can't get that if she's always bunking different places. Plus, we could pool our resources, save on bills and stuff. Ummmm....plus, I make a really mean omelet and I promise not to ask for any threesomes." He finished with a devilish grin, hoping Willow and Tara's affection for him and Dawn would cause them to agree to his request.

The two witches glanced at each other, and Spike's heart sank. Maybe they weren't ready to give up their Wiccan love nest, or maybe they just didn't want to live with him. As he was about to let himself start pouting, Willow smiled at him.

"This is really cool, Spike, 'cause we've been tossing this idea around for awhile and well, we just didn't know if you would want us horning in on your thing here with Dawnie."

As relief flooded through him, he realized just how heavy a load he'd been carrying. He was so worried about Dawn's well-being, and fulfilling his promise to Buffy, that he'd neglected asking for help. Now that he had, he was eternally grateful that Willow and Tara had said yes.

Clapping his hands together, he put his 'all business' expression on. "So, how fast can we move you girls in?"

Willow and Tara exchanged grins at the vampire's impatience and were about to reply when the phone rang.

"Yeah? Eh, Nibblet, I'll be there in about twenty. Oh, I have great news for you, too...no, we are not getting a puppy. No, you cannot have a pony! What are you, five?"

Spike rolled his eyes at Dawn's joking request and Willow snorted.

"Okay, I'll be at the front entrance. What? No, you impatient little chit, I will not tell you until...no, I did not buy you a coat like mine! I'll see you in a few minutes!"

Replacing the receiver in its cradle, Spike turned to his soon-to-be roomies, his arms spread wide as if in supplication.

"Kids."