Title: Countdown to Indigestion
Rating: PG
Original Size: 6kb
First Published: 1/10/01
=======================================================================
Premise: The party go on their very own fantastic voyage.
=======================================================================
A Countdown To Indigestion
"Yes, it's just what I thought."
"What is it, doctor?" Cloud asked, with a concerned look on his face.
"I'm afraid your friend Aeris has swallowed a zinc battery."
"A zinc battery?!" Barrett exclaimed. "How the hell does someone swallow a zinc battery?!"
"I bet you five gil you can't swallow this zinc battery!" Yuffie squeaked.
"You're on!" Aeris said enthusiastically, as she took the battery from Yuffie and swallowed it. "Five gil please, Yuffie!"
"Oh gawd!" Yuffie sighed.
"Is there anything you can do for her?" Tifa wondered.
"Well, I'm afraid if we don't get that battery out of her stomach, then the zinc fluid inside could leak out and poison her stomach acids, which means she would probably die a painful, horrible death," the doctor told them.
"Die?! Oh no!" they all exclaimed.
"Can you get it out? The battery, can you get it out?" Cloud questioned.
"I'm sorry, but we no longer have the medical equipment to perform such operations. You can blame Professor Hojo for that."
"So... we just watch her die?!" Tifa gasped.
"...I suppose. Good day!" the doctor smiled, as he left the room.
"Cloud! We have to do something!" Tifa shouted.
"I guess we could use a pair of tweezers and try to fish it out."
"Cloud! Have you got cloth in your damn ears?! Think rationally!" Barrett yelled.
"Excuse me," Cait Sith said politely, as he walked into the room, "I couldn't help overhearing, but I may have an answer to your problems."
"Go on..." Cloud mumbled.
"Ahem, if I were to use a Mini spell on you guys, then it would shrink you, which would allow you to go *inside* Aeris and safely retrieve the battery."
"Ew!" they all groaned.
"Of course, you'd need some sort of transport to sustain the pressure..." he continued.
"The Highwind!" Cid bloated. "You can shrink the Highwind! I'd be happy to pilot the thing for you!"
"Alright, I can't say I fully agree with what we're about to do here, but... it looks like we have no other choice," Cloud thought. "Cait Sith! Get ready with that Mini spell! We have no time to lose!"
A few hours later, the whole party - Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid - had gathered inside the Highwind. Everyone looked at one another nervously.
"Man, this is gonna suck!" Barrett complained.
"It's either this or sit and wait for Aeris's demise... and I know what I'd rather choose!" Cloud said bravely.
"Okay, are you guys all set? I'm gonna shrink you now!" Cait Sith shouted from outside.
Cait Sith powered himself up, and prepared to cast a Mini spell.
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea," Tifa mumbled. "Cloud, tell him to stop."
But it was too late. A cloud of yellow gas covered the entire Highwind, causing it, and everything on board, to shrink to tiny proportions.
"What just happened?" Cloud whimpered.
"Oh my God! Look!" Cid screamed.
The party looked out of the cockpit window to see a giant, white mountain.
"Where the hell did that come from?!" Cid gasped.
"HEY GUYS!!" a voice boomed from outside.
The party began to feel the Highwind being lifted up into the air. A pair of big, black eyes glared right at them.
"Argh!" Barrett screamed in terror. "A monster!"
"No Barrett! It's just Cait Sith. He shrunk us, remember?" Cloud explained.
"Oh yeah," Barrett laughed in embarrassment. "Yo Cid! Let's get this heap o' junk movin' so we can start the mission!"
"Okay! We have lift off!" Cid yelled, as he started up the engine.
The Highwind shot off from Cait Sith's gigantic hand and zoomed into Midgar, making its way to Aeris's house, where the sick girl lay in her bed.
"Slow down, Cid!" Cloud flinched. "Now, how do you suppose we get inside Aeris?"
"That's simple. We can just go through her nose," Cid suggested.
"What?!" Cloud exclaimed.
"Yeah, then we travel to the back of her head, down her throat, into her stomach, get the battery, fly back up, and out through her mouth. Simple!"
"Ew!" the others groaned.
The Highwind flew at breakneck speed into Aeris's house. It flew up the stairs and into her bedroom. There on the bed... was Aeris. Cid piloted the airship, as planned, up into Aeris's nose. Cid turned on the headlights.
"Gross!" Barrett said, as he tried to hold in his lunch. "Okay, let's get this over with! Which way to the stomach?"
"Straight down!" Cid laughed, as he pushed the ship as far as it could go.
The Highwind arrived inside the stomach, where the party could clearly see the zinc battery Aeris had swallowed previously.
"Alright! Here's the plan: we switch on the giant magnet that I attached to the bottom of the Highwind, pick up that old battery, and get the hell outta here! Everyone fine with that?" Cid asked, as the party nodded their heads in agreement.
Cid turned on the magnet. Its force managed to safely pull the battery from the stomach acids, removing all danger.
"Woo hoo!" they all screamed cheerfully.
Suddenly, Cloud began to feel strange. "Huh? What's happening?!"
"Cloud! You're growing!" Tifa gasped, as she, too, felt herself sprouting up.
"Cid! The Mini spell is wearing off! Get us outta here!" Cloud yelled.
"Good lord! If we were to resume normal size while still inside Aeris, then..." Cid shivered.
He rushed to the controls. He desperately tried to shift the Highwind, but it wouldn't budge. The party could do nothing as they grew and grew.
Cait Sith sat comfortably with Aeris at her bedside. When the floor began to shake, he knew he was in trouble. He quickly leapt to his feet and made his way out of the room. Once outside the house, he looked up in horror as it exploded, sending debris flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared, he could see the Highwind - as its original size - with the remains of Aeris smothered around the edges. Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid stepped out onto the bridge.
"Oh my God! We killed Aeris!" Cloud screamed.
"We killed Aeris?!" Tifa gasped.
"Yeah, we killed Aeris. We're beasts," Cloud said calmly.
"Man, I'm hungry! What's for dinner?" Barrett wondered.
THE END__________
Rating: PG
Original Size: 6kb
First Published: 1/10/01
=======================================================================
Premise: The party go on their very own fantastic voyage.
=======================================================================
A Countdown To Indigestion
"Yes, it's just what I thought."
"What is it, doctor?" Cloud asked, with a concerned look on his face.
"I'm afraid your friend Aeris has swallowed a zinc battery."
"A zinc battery?!" Barrett exclaimed. "How the hell does someone swallow a zinc battery?!"
"I bet you five gil you can't swallow this zinc battery!" Yuffie squeaked.
"You're on!" Aeris said enthusiastically, as she took the battery from Yuffie and swallowed it. "Five gil please, Yuffie!"
"Oh gawd!" Yuffie sighed.
"Is there anything you can do for her?" Tifa wondered.
"Well, I'm afraid if we don't get that battery out of her stomach, then the zinc fluid inside could leak out and poison her stomach acids, which means she would probably die a painful, horrible death," the doctor told them.
"Die?! Oh no!" they all exclaimed.
"Can you get it out? The battery, can you get it out?" Cloud questioned.
"I'm sorry, but we no longer have the medical equipment to perform such operations. You can blame Professor Hojo for that."
"So... we just watch her die?!" Tifa gasped.
"...I suppose. Good day!" the doctor smiled, as he left the room.
"Cloud! We have to do something!" Tifa shouted.
"I guess we could use a pair of tweezers and try to fish it out."
"Cloud! Have you got cloth in your damn ears?! Think rationally!" Barrett yelled.
"Excuse me," Cait Sith said politely, as he walked into the room, "I couldn't help overhearing, but I may have an answer to your problems."
"Go on..." Cloud mumbled.
"Ahem, if I were to use a Mini spell on you guys, then it would shrink you, which would allow you to go *inside* Aeris and safely retrieve the battery."
"Ew!" they all groaned.
"Of course, you'd need some sort of transport to sustain the pressure..." he continued.
"The Highwind!" Cid bloated. "You can shrink the Highwind! I'd be happy to pilot the thing for you!"
"Alright, I can't say I fully agree with what we're about to do here, but... it looks like we have no other choice," Cloud thought. "Cait Sith! Get ready with that Mini spell! We have no time to lose!"
A few hours later, the whole party - Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid - had gathered inside the Highwind. Everyone looked at one another nervously.
"Man, this is gonna suck!" Barrett complained.
"It's either this or sit and wait for Aeris's demise... and I know what I'd rather choose!" Cloud said bravely.
"Okay, are you guys all set? I'm gonna shrink you now!" Cait Sith shouted from outside.
Cait Sith powered himself up, and prepared to cast a Mini spell.
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea," Tifa mumbled. "Cloud, tell him to stop."
But it was too late. A cloud of yellow gas covered the entire Highwind, causing it, and everything on board, to shrink to tiny proportions.
"What just happened?" Cloud whimpered.
"Oh my God! Look!" Cid screamed.
The party looked out of the cockpit window to see a giant, white mountain.
"Where the hell did that come from?!" Cid gasped.
"HEY GUYS!!" a voice boomed from outside.
The party began to feel the Highwind being lifted up into the air. A pair of big, black eyes glared right at them.
"Argh!" Barrett screamed in terror. "A monster!"
"No Barrett! It's just Cait Sith. He shrunk us, remember?" Cloud explained.
"Oh yeah," Barrett laughed in embarrassment. "Yo Cid! Let's get this heap o' junk movin' so we can start the mission!"
"Okay! We have lift off!" Cid yelled, as he started up the engine.
The Highwind shot off from Cait Sith's gigantic hand and zoomed into Midgar, making its way to Aeris's house, where the sick girl lay in her bed.
"Slow down, Cid!" Cloud flinched. "Now, how do you suppose we get inside Aeris?"
"That's simple. We can just go through her nose," Cid suggested.
"What?!" Cloud exclaimed.
"Yeah, then we travel to the back of her head, down her throat, into her stomach, get the battery, fly back up, and out through her mouth. Simple!"
"Ew!" the others groaned.
The Highwind flew at breakneck speed into Aeris's house. It flew up the stairs and into her bedroom. There on the bed... was Aeris. Cid piloted the airship, as planned, up into Aeris's nose. Cid turned on the headlights.
"Gross!" Barrett said, as he tried to hold in his lunch. "Okay, let's get this over with! Which way to the stomach?"
"Straight down!" Cid laughed, as he pushed the ship as far as it could go.
The Highwind arrived inside the stomach, where the party could clearly see the zinc battery Aeris had swallowed previously.
"Alright! Here's the plan: we switch on the giant magnet that I attached to the bottom of the Highwind, pick up that old battery, and get the hell outta here! Everyone fine with that?" Cid asked, as the party nodded their heads in agreement.
Cid turned on the magnet. Its force managed to safely pull the battery from the stomach acids, removing all danger.
"Woo hoo!" they all screamed cheerfully.
Suddenly, Cloud began to feel strange. "Huh? What's happening?!"
"Cloud! You're growing!" Tifa gasped, as she, too, felt herself sprouting up.
"Cid! The Mini spell is wearing off! Get us outta here!" Cloud yelled.
"Good lord! If we were to resume normal size while still inside Aeris, then..." Cid shivered.
He rushed to the controls. He desperately tried to shift the Highwind, but it wouldn't budge. The party could do nothing as they grew and grew.
Cait Sith sat comfortably with Aeris at her bedside. When the floor began to shake, he knew he was in trouble. He quickly leapt to his feet and made his way out of the room. Once outside the house, he looked up in horror as it exploded, sending debris flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared, he could see the Highwind - as its original size - with the remains of Aeris smothered around the edges. Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Cid stepped out onto the bridge.
"Oh my God! We killed Aeris!" Cloud screamed.
"We killed Aeris?!" Tifa gasped.
"Yeah, we killed Aeris. We're beasts," Cloud said calmly.
"Man, I'm hungry! What's for dinner?" Barrett wondered.
THE END__________