Lately
I'd found myself going to the top of that grassy knoll where Goku lay, often
spending the whole day up there. Naturally, I had my own reasons for going
there, but I also soon discovered why Goku had liked this place so much. There
was a calm serenity about it, and whenever I sat in the shade of the tree that
sheltered Goku's memorial, I felt a bliss that reminded me of Goku's own
presence. It was almost like he was always there, waiting for me.
I had
begun to feel selfish, that I had focussed on my own loss, that I had been
blinded to what I really had. Sure, Goku was gone. I would never feel his
touch, or hear his voice. But he was never far away. My memories were as clear
and sharp as if they had only happened a moment ago.
I
remembered fondly all the times we shared. How we met. Our first kiss. Gohan.
Even
our hardships, the pain of losing our friends, and the threat of earth's
destruction.
I
remembered all the dreams we shared, and the things we always talked about, but
never did. But still, I have no regrets, because you gave me something that
has made my life complete.
"Remember
the first time you took my flying?" I chuckled. "I closed my eyes so tight, and
by the time I opened them, we were so high up that I could barely even see
people below us. But I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared because you were right
there. I felt like I could do anything as long as I had you."
I
closed my eyes and pictured Goku's smiling face, and leaned back against the
tree. I laid a hand on my belly. It had been several months since Bulma had
gold me the news, but I had only recently begun to show.
I
watched the setting sun as we so often did. The air was becoming chilly. Winter
would be here soon, I thought. I closed my eyes again, breathing in the dusky
autumn breeze.
Out of
the blue I felt him move. My eyes widened in surprise. He kicked. I
couldn't believe it. It was the first time I'd actually felt him. I erupted in
giggles as he did it again. "Oh Goku, I wish you could be here" I said longing
for him to be able to feel what I did. Then, as if in answer to my plea, I felt
a strangely warm breeze blow across my body. Too warm - considering the air
temperature.
"Goku?"
I cast my eyes towards the sky. "I know that was you." I said quietly. Perhaps
I was losing my mind, but if I was sure of anything, I was sure of this.
"Goku,
my love. I never got to say good bye, but what pains me most is that I never
said thank you." I looked down, thoughtful.
"I
wish I'd said this before. You gave me so much strength, you were what made me
make it through all the hard times. I owe you everything, Goku. You gave me
reason, and made my life mean something. And all the times I yelled at you for
leaving me while you went off to save the world… it's only now I realise that
we were never really apart, as long as I held you in my heart, and me in
yours."
I
smiled at my partially distended belly. "It was so like you. You've left me a
part of us, the last testament of our love." A tear ran down my face, and my
throat choked up. "You never could really leave me alone. There was always
something to remind me."
I saw
Gohan approaching. He never flew up here, maybe out of respect, I didn't know.
"I
thought I'd find you up here." He said. I sniffed and wiped my face on my sleeve. "Are you OK, mum?"
"Your
brother kicked just now. Come here." I placed his hand on my stomach, and sure
enough, as if he knew, there was a tiny kick.
Gohan's
eyebrows rose. "Woah! Geez, I wish dad could be here…" he left it hanging.
I
regarded him solemnly, and then smiled. "He is." I whispered. Slowly my meaning
dawned on him, and he nodded understandingly. "You mean that there's a part of
dad in me and the baby, don't you?"
"Mm
hm" I affirmed. "And we carry him in here" I laid my hand on my chest, "so
wherever we are, he'll always be there."
I made
an attempt then to get up, but my legs were cramped up. I must have been
sitting there for too long. "Lend me a hand, would you Gohan, dear?" He reached
down, and hauled me up with ease.
"You
gonna be OK, mum?"
As we
strolled back down the hill heading for home, I placed my arm around my son's
shoulders. "You know what, Gohan?" I said.
"I
think I'm going to be just fine."
To
have you in my life
When
I look back on these days
I
look to see your face
You
were right there for me
In
my dreams I'll always see you
Soar
above the sky
In
my heart there'll always be a place for you
For
all my life
I'll
keep a part of you with me
And
everywhere I am
There
you'll be
Well
you showed me how it feels
To
feel the sky within my reach
And
I always will remember all
The
strength you gave to me
Your
love made me make it through
Oh,
I owe so much to you
You
were right there for me
In
my dreams I'll always see you
Soar
above the sky
In
my heart there'll always be a place for you
For
all my life
I'll
keep a part of you with me
And
everywhere I am
There
you'll be
'Cause
I always saw in you
My
light, my strength
And
I want to thank you now for all the ways
You
were right there for me
You
were right there for me
For
always
In
my dreams I'll always see you
Soar
above the sky,
In
my heart there'll always be a place for you
For
all my life
I'll
keep a part of you with me
And
everywhere I am
There
you'll be
Owari
(The End)
C/C Welcome. (Please go easy, it's my first fic ^_^ )