When She Loved Me

by EilonwyG

Was there ever a time when Petunia loved Lily?

When She Loved Me

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

            Lily slipped underneath the covers, her feet still visible on tiptoe as she searched the dark bed.  Her fingers crawled forward.  Then she saw it and reached for it.

            Petunia awoke, giggling hysterically from her sister's fingers tickling her feet.  "Wake up, Tuna!"  the little girl giggled from the blankets, using her nickname for her older sister.

            Petunia pulled her feet towards her then crawled headfirst under the blankets to come head to head with Lily.  "All right, Lily.  Let's get some breakfast."  She pulled her sister into the bed fully and out from under the covers, and then hopped off.

            "All aboard!"

            "Toot toot!"  Lily chimed as she climbed on Petunia's back.

            "Ugh.  You're getting heavy," she said to the two-year-old.

            Lily ticked her like a horse.  "Go!  Go!"

            Petunia laughed.  "OK, OK!"  She zoomed around the room and out the door, both of them making vroom noises.

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart.

            "Read this one."  Lily handed Petunia a book and crawled into her lap.

            Petunia, who had just started kindergarten, had just learned how to read.  Looking over the book, she saw that some of the words were beyond her.  But there were pictures.  Lily listened intently, her thumb in her mouth, as Petunia made up a wonderful story about a far away kingdom.

            Mrs. Evans stood on the side and just watched with motherly pride.

And when she was sad,

I was there to dry her tears.

            Petunia held her arms out to Lily, who ran into them, crying.  "What's the matter, Lily?"

            "I don't like my new school," Lily explained between sobs.

            "But I saw you make so many friends at preschool."

            "But . . .(sob) . . . but . . . (sob) . . . You and Mummy . . . (sob) . . . left me . . ."

            Petunia held her sister out in front of her and wiped her eyes.  "Mummy and I didn't leave you.  We came back, didn't we?"

            "Yes," Lily replied in a whisper.  "But I missed you."

            Petunia gave her a tissue.  "I missed you, too, but I've got school and now you have school.  We'll be together after.  OK?"

            Still teary-eyed, Lily nodded.

And when she was happy, so was I,

When she loved me.

            "Happy Birthday, Tuna!"  Lily handed her sister a sloppily wrapped present.

            Petunia smiled at the old nickname.  "Thank you."

            "I love you, Sis."

            "I love you, too."

Through the summer—

            "Ready?"  Lily nodded, her arms raised over her head.  "Here goes!"  Petunia picked her up under her arms and twirled her around and around until they fell down dizzy under the water.

            Lily came up and squirted Petunia with a fountain of water.  "Eww!"  her sister cried.  "Don't spit chlorine water.  It's icky."

            Petunia was awarded a splash in her face.  Lily giggled at the sight of Petunia's surprised face.  In seconds they had a splash war.

—and the fall.

We had each other, that was all.

            "Trick or treat!"

            "Oh, aren't you two darling!"  Lily grinned, two front teeth missing.  Then she growled, menacingly.  "What a scary lion you are!"  The lady dropped a Snickers in her Jack-o-lantern bucket.  "And what are you?"

            "I'm her tamer."  Petunia grabbed hold of Lily's hand after getting her candy and led her to the next house.

Just she and I together,

Like it was meant to be.

            "Play Chutes and Ladders with me?"

            Petunia looked up from her homework into her sister's eager face.  She sighed, then smiled.  "Whatever you want, Lil."

And when she was lonely,

I was there to comfort her,

And I knew that she loved me.

            "What's wrong, Petunia?"  Lily sat next to Petunia, her knees drawn up to her chin.

            Petunia shook her head.  "It's nothing."

            Lily looked up at her for a moment, then kissed her cheek.  "I'm still here for you."

            Petunia hugged her close.  "Thanks, Lil."

So the years went by

I stayed the same,

But she began to drift away

I was left alone.

            "No, Lily.  I can't take you to the movies," Petunia repeated, exasperated.  "I have far too much work.  Don't give me that look . . ."

            Lily pouted out her lips.

            " . . . I won't change my mind.  Find a friend to go with you."

            "But I haven't seen you in months!"

            "I don't have time for you right now."

Still I waited for the day

When she'd say,

"I will always love you."

            Lily stared, wanting to say something.  She remained quiet until she couldn't take it anymore.  "So—"

            "Don't talk to me!"  Petunia snapped.

            "When can I talk to you?"  Lily snapped back.  "You haven't talked to me in the three years since I've gone to Hog—"

            "Don't mention that freak school in my presence!"  Petunia gathered her work and stormed off to her room.

Lonely and forgotten,

Never thought she'd look my way

            Their eyes locked for a moment.  Neither was sure if they'd see the other here.  Lily walked over.  "Hello, Petunia."

            "I didn't expect to see you here."

            "She was my mother, too, Petunia.  Let us put aside out differences just this once, for her."

            Petunia nodded solemnly.  They clasped hands and together gazed into the casket.

And she smiled at me and held me,

Just like she used to do

            Lily smiled at her sister.  Petunia, to save face in the crowd, grudgingly hugged Lily.  Lily, filled with remorse for times past, hugged her tight.  For a moment, Petunia recalled memories long forgotten that this hug brought back.  A tear formed in her eye and she started hugging Lily tighter.  Then she saw him.

            "What is he doing here, Lily?"

            Lily broke away to look where Petunia motioned to.  All the memories of the past were lost.  Lily's eyes narrowed.  "He is my husband, Petunia."

            Petunia hardened herself.  "I think you've outstayed your welcome."

            Lily nodded, turned and left without a word.

Like she loved me,

When she loved me.

            James held out his arms to his wife.  Lily allowed him to put his arms around her and lead her out the building.  "Are you all right, Lily?"

            Lily shook her head, trying to drive the tears form her eyes.  "I just hoped . . . I only had one sister—and I lost her."

            Petunia watched as Lily jumped behind James on their broomstick and flew off into the night.  "Petunia, dear," Vernon said beside her.  "Come away from there."

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

            Petunia emptied out an old box and began rummaging through it, separating the items into a garbage pile and a keep pile.  "Do you want this old book, Vernon?"  she yelled to her husband in the kitchen.

            "No, dear!"  he called back, without knowing the title.

            She threw the book on the garbage pile and picked up a pile of papers.  A picture fell out and landed on her lap.  She picked it up and looked at it.  Green eyes smiled back at her.  Eyes she hadn't seen in a year, belonging to a sister she rarely thought about.  Next to Lily was a young, smiling Petunia.  The picture had been taken nearly twenty years ago and the sisters, both under six years of age, had been in the midst of a dance.  Petunia could even hear the music that had been playing at the time:

            And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

            Something wet fell on Petunia's lip.

            "What are you looking at?"  Vernon, sandwich in hand, stood over her.

            Petunia wiped the tear away.  "Nothing, Vernon."  The picture flew into the garbage pile.

Every hour we spent together

Lived within my heart

When she loved me.

            Lily held her year-old son on her hip as she looked out the window.  "I wish you hadn't shut me out, Tuna.  I wish someone in my family knew I'm in hiding.  Someone to worry for me."

            "Lily."  James put his arms around her waist.  "Don't stand by the window.  He shouldn't be able to see us, but I don't want to take any chances."

            "Yes, James."  Lily stared up at the full moon.  "I love you, Petunia."

            Petunia dreamed that night of two sisters who loved each other.  She didn't remember in the morning.

A/N:  I really liked this song when I first heard it in Toy Story 2, and when I listened to it again after starting my Harry Potter obsession, I saw Lily and Petunia in it.  Not these particular scenes exactly, but I knew it spoke to the two of them.  I'd like to think that the two sisters loved each other at one point and that something tore them apart.  It is my belief that their relationship splintered before Lily's entrance to Hogwarts, but that's the subject of another story.  (Which I hope to someday write.)

            Just as a little side note, I got the idea for Lily's childhood nickname from an old nickname my younger brother had for me—he couldn't say my full name and used an abbreviated form.  He called me Tine, because he couldn't say the Chris part.  He's the only person ever to call me, kind of a special thing between my brother and I.  I see the same for Lily's nickname for Petunia.

            I'd also like to think that eventually the two sisters would have reconciled, but I guess we'll never know.

Disclaimer: The song is from Toy Story 2 and What a Wonderful World is owned by someone else.  I do not own these characters, but I do believe that Petunia secretly wanted me to write this—blame her.