Saving Missmith Part 2
CHAPTER FIVE
"So," Buffy said, "What's there to do around here? Anything exciting?"
"Believe me, the last thing you want is excitement." Xena answered. "Around here, excitement usually means one warlord or another is attacking a village, or something's on fire, or . . . "
"I get the picture -- no excitement. So what do we do?"
"I guess we can gather more firewood, it's going to be dark in a couple of hours. Why don't you get the wood, and I'll see if I can scare something up for supper. I think I saw a couple rabbits a little while ago. Oh yes, you can walk Argo down to the spring. I'm sure she'd like some fresh water." And without another word, Xena disappeared into the woods.
"Well, just Please and Thank You, Buffy." Buffy said sarcastically to the section of woods Xena had just disappeared into.
*****
Several hours later, after Xena had returned and cooked the two rabbits, which Buffy decided taste nothing like chicken, they settled down for the night.
"Do we really have to sleep out here? I'm really not much for camping out." Buffy complained.
"I thought we had to stay in one place so you and Gabrielle can switch back."
"I don't think so," Buffy answered. "I don't think it matters where we go."
"There's a village a half day from here. I don't suppose it will hurt to check it out tomorrow to see if they have an inn that's not too run down. And it will give us something to do."
After a while the fire had died down, and about the time Buffy was dozing off, Xena spoke.
"Buffy, I'm not one for getting all sentimental, but Gabrielle means more to me than anything. I don't know what I would do if I lost her. Just in case I don't get around to it later, I just want to say Thank You. I don't know how I'll ever repay you and Willow . . . ."
"Don't forget Tara."
"And Tara, too. It's good to know there are people like you and Willow and Tara still around 2000 years from now."
*****
"That's so sweet." Anya said to Dawn.
"I know. Xena acts like she's all hard and tough on the outside, but I think she's kind of soft on the inside."
"Well it sounds bloody nauseating if you ask me!" Spike spoke up.
"Nobody ASKED you, Spike." Xander retorted. "Why don't you wait until you're spoken to before you . . . "
"Hey! Buffy asked me to be here. I didn't have to come, you know. I'm doing all of you a favor, a bloody BIG favor."
"Yeah, Whatever." Was all Xander could think of to say.
*****
As Gabrielle slowly swam up to consciousness, she was vaguely aware that things weren't quite right, but she was too groggy to really understand. Things didn't smell right. There were sounds she couldn't identify. The light was different, even though her eyes were closed. For some reason, they didn't want to open. The bed, or whatever it was she was lying on, wasn't the pallet she had laid down on. The pain in her side was still there, but it felt . . . different.
She wanted to call out for Xena, but her throat was constricted, and her mouth was full of stickiness. Then she felt herself sinking back into unconsciousness.
"Has she woken up yet?" Giles asked Willow.
"She's been in and out, but I don't think she's really been awake."
The next time Gabrielle woke up, she was more aware, but she just couldn't get her eyes to focus. Instead, she tried to understand what she was hearing, smelling, and feeling.
The bed she was in had some kind of soft linen sheets, and the bed itself was firm, yet soft, as was the pillow.
The odors she didn't recognize at all. She just knew they kind of burned the insides of her nose.
Then she began to hear voices, she knew she should be able to understand, but they were too low, or too far away.
Gabrielle moved her hand to her side, and felt a bandage, but when she pressed on it, a sharp pain drove through her, making her gasp and come fully awake.
Then she heard a vaguely familiar voice say, "Oh, I think she's awake now"
Gabrielle turned her head toward the voice, and when she finally focused her eyes, she was surprised to see Willow."
"Will--" she croaked.
"Here, have a sip of water," Willow said as she gently lifted Gabrielle's head so she could drink.
Gabrielle hadn't realized how thirsty she was, and she drank until the glass was empty.
When she tried again, her voice was closer to normal.
"Willow, how . . . where . . . where's Xena? How did you get here? Where am I?"
"You're here, in our time. You were very sick, and we had to bring you up here to make you well."
"Xena's not here?" Gabrielle asked, more confused than before. "How did I get here?"
"Tara and I used magic to bring you here, well, actually Tara did it by herself. But Buffy had to go in your place. And when you're well, she can just switch you two back."
"Wait. That doesn't make sense. Nothing does."
"You're probably still dopey from all the medicine. You go back to sleep now, and the next time you wake up, I'll explain everything. But don't worry, you're fine. Everything is fine."
CHAPTER SIX
With the dawn, Xena was up and rebuilding the fire, feeding and watering Argo, and occasionally looking around, just in case she could see Buffy's friends watching her.
She was getting irritated that Buffy was sleeping so late. The sun had been up over an hour, so she nudged her with her foot.
"Come on! It's getting late, the sun's already over the trees. I've heated up the last of the rabbit, and if you don't want it, I'm going to finish it myself."
Buffy mumbled something from underneath the blanket.
"What?" Xena asked rather loudly. "I can't hear you with your head buried like that."
"I said 'Not now!' It's barely daylight. Why are you up so early?"
"Are you getting up, or shall I empty this water bag in your direction?"
"Okay, okay! I'm up. I'm up. I think I'll pass on the leftovers. I usually don't eat until around ten o'clock."
"Around ten what?" Xena asked.
"Ten o'clock! Ten in the morning. You know - two hours before noon?"
"We'll be on the road then. You wanted to check out that town, remember? You ought to eat, though. Supper isn't until just before sunset."
"That's it? You just eat two meals a day?"
"How many do you eat?"
"At least three. And snacks."
"Snacks? What are snacks?"
"Things you eat between meals. You know - sandwiches, cookies, Twinkies . . . ."
"I guess you know what all those things are, but I can assure you, we don't have any of that here."
"So, I'll have a little of the rabbit."
"Isn't there any other way to get to the village besides walking?" Buffy asked Xena after a while.
"We could ride Argo."
"She's just a little too big, I think I'd rather walk."
"Suit yourself." Xena answered.
They walked a little longer, when Xena stopped without warning. Buffy looked at her, about to ask her what was up, when Xena called out,
"Okay, Ares, I know you're here! Show yourself!"
And in flash of blue sparks, Ares, the God of War materialized in front of the two women.
"I'll never know how you do that, Xena." Then he noticed that instead of Gabrielle, Xena had a new companion.
"Well, hello. Xena, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
"Yeah, sure. Buffy, Ares. Ares, Buffy."
Looking around again, he asked, "So where's Gabrielle?"
Not feeling it was necessary to tell Ares any more than she had to, Xena told him Gabrielle was off visiting Lila, her sister, and she and Buffy were on their way to meet up with her in a few days.
Ares then asked Buffy why he hadn't seen her before.
"I'm just visiting, too. I'm from . . . the west, near the big sea. Just visiting my good friend Xena."
Turning to Xena, Ares asked, "So why haven't you mention your good friend to me before?"
"Because, contrary to what you might think, what I do, and who I know is my business, not yours."
"Well aren't we the crabby one?"
"Are you really the God of War?" Buffy asked.
"Don't get him started." Xena said to her. But ignoring the warning, Buffy pressed on.
"I hear you're quite powerful."
"Well, I don't like to brag," Ares started, as Xena snorted. "But I have my ways."
"So, exactly what kind of powers do you have? Other than appearing in a shower of blue sparks."
"How about this?" Ares answered as he mustered up a growing ball of blue lighting. He suddenly threw it at an especially large tree, burning through it and bringing it crashing to the ground.
"Quite impressive. Do you have any other powers?"
"Exactly why do you want to know?" He asked, becoming suspicious.
Buffy cut her eyes to Xena, who turned to suppress a smile, the she said, "Where I come from, everyone talks about the Great God of War, and I am writing a book, I mean a scroll, about my journey here, and I'd love to have a chapter about the famous Ares."
"So they really talk about me?" Ares asked, now very interested.
"Oh, yes. In fact I've even heard some of them call you 'Ares the Magnificent'."
"Ares the Magnificent. You know, that has a certain ring to it. Yes, I LIKE IT! Now you were saying?"
"Well, I understand you are immortal. Does that mean you can never die?"
"Oh, we can die." Ares said, as he gave Xena a hard look. "Under certain conditions our lives can be ended. But barring such unfortunate circumstances, we could live forever."
"So if I was to stab you with, say, Xena's sword, you wouldn't feel it?"
"Oh, I'd feel it. But there wouldn't be any pain."
"Can I try? Just so I'll have something interesting to write down, you understand. I wouldn't want to hurt you or anything."
"You'd have to use a sword?"
"It wouldn't HAVE to be a sword. How about Xena's tiny little 6 inch dagger?"
"Sure, why not?"
Xena walked over to Buffy, barely able to keep from laughing, and handed her the dagger.
"Now you'll tell me if I hurt you, won't you?" Buffy asked.
"Just do it." Ares said, confidently.
"Do you think you could open your shirt? That's so I can see exactly how it goes in."
Looking at Xena and grinning, Ares bared his chest and stomach.
At first Buffy just touched the tip of the dagger to Ares' stomach, just above his belt, then she slowly pushed the knife in about two inches. Ares didn't show any sign that anything had happened. Buffy pushed the blade in farther, and farther until it was in all the way to the hilt.
"Nothing?" Buffy asked him.
"Don't feel a thing." He answered.
Then Buffy slowly began to turn the knife, and with one swift movement, she slashed it sideways, across his belly and out the side.
Ares, caught by surprise, hurriedly backed away a few steps.
"Whoa, there. What's going on?" He demanded
"I'm sorry," Buffy said, "did that hurt? I'm really sorry if I hurt you."
Xena bit her lip to keep from laughing.
"No! No, I'm not hurt. You just surprised me, that's all."
"Well, you most certainly are godly. Do you have any other special powers?"
"I do have one, but it's only used on special occasions."
"And that is?"
"I am totally irresistible to women. To most women." He added when Xena loudly cleared her throat.
"And I think that this may just be one of those special occasions."
"Oh, yes, I'm sure it would be," Buffy stalled, trying to think of a way out." But, uh. Oh! Before I left home, I took a Vow of Chastity."
"A Vow of Chastity? Why would a healthy, beautiful woman like you do such a stupid thing as take a Vow of Chastity?" Ares asked incredulously.
"Uh. Well. It's a religious thing. Just while I'm visiting Xena. That's it. Just for now."
"I'll never understand women. Never."
"But there is one other thing you can do, if you're able to, that is."
"Well?"
"I was wondering, you see, since I've been away from home, I haven't been able to find anyone who can fix my most favorite food. And I thought that since you ARE Ares the Magnificent, that maybe you could help me out."
"And just what is this favorite food of yours?"
"It's warm, fresh bread, creamy butter, honey, and a flagon, or goblet or whatever you drink out of, of pure, clear, clean water."
"That's it? Hah! Easy!"
And in a sprinkling of blue sparkles, Ares was holding a silver platter piled high with freshly baked bread, two silver bowls, one filled with butter, the other with honey, a gold pitcher of spring water, and a golden goblet.
"Oh, thank you! You don't know what this means to me!"
"Think nothing of it," Ares replied. "Are you sure about this Vow of Chastity?"
"Yes, Ares, she's sure. Don't you have a war to start somewhere?"
"I get the not-so-subtle hint, Xena, but I'll be back."
And Ares disappeared in a shower of angry blue sparks.
"Well," Buffy declared. "He's not exactly what I thought a god would be like."
"What did you expect?"
"I don't know, I guess I thought he would be taller, like maybe 20 feet."
"You must be thinking of the Titans."
"Well, in any event, I must admit he is quite the Hunk."
"Hunk?" Xena asked perplexed.
"Yeah, a Hunk. You know, a good looking guy, good body: a Hunk.
"I suppose."
"Although I must say, he was quite full of himself."
"I don't think I've ever heard him described like that, but it certainly seems to fit. I suppose all gods are 'full of themselves,' now that I think about it."
"Xena. You have got to try some of this. It's delicious!"
"Was that all you could think of to ask for, bread, water and honey?"
"It's a snack."
CHAPTER SEVEN
The next time Gabrielle woke up, her head was clear and her lower stomach barely ached. Willow was sitting in a chair next to her bed.
"How do you feel?" Willow asked.
"Good, I think. Seeing you here, and seeing this place then I must be in your time. But where's Xena?"
"She's not here." Willow answered.
"Then where is she? Is she coming?"
"Actually, no. Why don't you let me start from the beginning? I think you'll understand better if I do."
"So are you saying that there's no way for you to tell Xena that I'm fine?"
"I'm afraid not."
"She must be worried sick! I've got to get back to her. I can't let her think that I might be dead. You've got to get me out of here."
"Well, it's not that easy. They've got these nurses around all the time. And if we try to sneak you out and get caught we could get into trouble. The doctor said that you can't leave until your stitches heal up."
"My what? What stitches?"
"It's where they had to sew you up."
"Sew me up? What are you talking about?"
"Of course! You don't know. Your appendix burst, and they had to operate." Seeing Gabrielle's confusion, Willow continued. "They had to cut you open and take it out."
"They cut me open?"
Then she remembered the pain in her lower abdomen, and after pulling up her gown, her mouth fell open when she saw the staples holding together the incision.
"Oh, that's right, you have staples, I forgot. Now I remember, the doctor said they have to stay in for a week or so, so you can heal up."
"I don't think I like the idea of being cut open!"
"They had to." Willow tried to explain. "If they didn't, you would have died."
Before Gabrielle could say more, a nurse came into the room.
"Well, Miss Smith, I see you're finally awake. The doctor will be around later on to look at you." She then proceeded to take Gabrielle's pulse and temperature.
After she took the thermometer out of her mouth, Gabrielle asked Willow, "Why did she call me Missmith?"
"That's your name." She answered. And then looking at the nurse, she said. "She still must be a little groggy, she doesn't even remember her own name."
The nurse looked at Gabrielle for a second to see if she was all right, and then left the room.
"That's not my name. Why did you say it was?"
"Well, in our time, everybody has two names, and Giles, you'll probably meet him later, had to give you one, and all he could think of was 'Smith.'"
"But I'm not a smithy. If anything, I'm a bard."
"Names here don't have anything to do with the kind of work we do. It's just a very common last name and I think Giles figured no one would think anything about it."
"Willow, I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I have to go back to my world. It's not fair to let Xena worry like that. And I know Buffy must want to come back."
"I know. I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll talk to Tara and Giles and we'll try to figure something out. In the meantime, why don't we watch some TV?"
"Willow, it's been three days now, almost four. And as nice as everyone has been to me, I can't stand this. I have got to get out of here. I want to go home!"
"Okay, I'll talk to Giles again. I'm sure he'll know what to do. Look, I'm calling him right now."
A couple of hours later everyone but Willow and Gabrielle were gathered in the dorm room, trying to think of some way to get a message to Xena, or to get Gabrielle out of the hospital without jeopardizing her health. It was Dawn who finally came up with the solution.
"Tara, why don't you just swap somebody for Xena? Then she could go see Gabrielle
for herself?"
"You know," Giles said. "That's really not a bad idea. The question is - who will go from here?"
"I will." Dawn volunteered.
"No, Dawn. It will be too dangerous for you." He answered.
"It can't be any more dangerous for me here, waiting for Glory to find me again. Besides, Buffy is there to protect me. We've been watching them for four days, now. Buffy's really been catching onto this camping out stuff."
"She's got a good point." Tara told them. "And it would only be for another day or two. Once Gabrielle's out of the hospital she and Xena can go back home. I'm sure Xena will take care of her."
"Then it's settled!" Dawn said triumphantly. "Let's go. Now!"
"I suppose it's about the only real solution." Remarked Giles.
"That suits my fancy." Spike broke in. "I'm getting bloody well tired of this place. I do have a life elsewhere, you know."
"I called Willow to tell her what we were going to do. She said that right now, Gabrielle was napping, but it would really be a big surprise, so she wasn't going to tell her." Tara told them.
"Dawn, if you are going to do this, then you're going to have to take your clothes off, and put on something else. When Xena gets here, she won't be very comfortable in your clothes."
"So what do I put on?" She asked.
"I don't know. Nobody I know is as big as Xena."
"Then how about if I just wrap a sheet around me?"
"That would work. You go get changed and I'll get everything ready."
Fifteen minutes later, Dawn was ready. Everyone took a candle and stood around her, and Tara began the spell.
Dawn and Xena. Apart in time. Apart in space.
Let them now be switched to each other's place
From each one's world may they disappear
Send Dawn there, bring Xena here
*****
Xena and Buffy were in the process of preparing the camp for the evening. As Buffy was banking the fire, Xena was grooming Argo. As she turned to say something to Buffy, she found herself in a strange room, surrounded by strange people holding candles, and wearing only a sheet.
For a moment no one said anything.
"Xena," Tara was the first to speak. "I'm Tara, Willow's friend. Don't be alarmed, I just brought you here like we did Gabrielle."
"Gabrielle!" Xena suddenly realized she wasn't with them. "Where's Gabrielle? Is she all right? Where is she?"
"She's fine. She's fine. She's in the hospital."
"Why isn't she here?"
"She was very sick. We had to take her to the hospital so she would get better."
"Then I want to see her. Now."
"We're going to take you to see her, that's why we brought you here. We knew you were worried. See? There's Buffy and Dawn." Tara pointed to the bowl. Xena walked over and saw Buffy talking to Dawn, who was trying to keep Xena's clothing and armor from falling down and leaving her naked.
Xena smiled at the sight, then turned toward the group and said. "Let's go."
"Well, there's just one problem. You have to have something to wear."
"What's wrong with this?" Xena indicated the sheet she was wrapped in.
"People around here usually wear the kind of clothes we have on. You'd look kind of strange with just a sheet on."
"So, get me some clothes." She demanded.
Without thinking, Anya handed Xena a robe that belonged to Willow, and without any problem, Xena dropped the sheet to put on the robe. Giles, embarrassed, turned away. Xander could only stare.
It was up to Spike to speak. "There you go, lovey, good show!"
When Xena saw everyone staring at her she said, "What!"
Tara answered, "People are kind of uncomfortable with strange women walking around naked."
"Speak for yourself!" Spike spoke up again.
"So are you telling me I can't wear this either? Then get me something I can wear."
"Now, that's is another problem. No one here wears the size you do. We are going to have to stop at the Big and Tall Girls shop to get you something to wear."
"So why all the talk? Why aren't we leaving."
"Well, darn it, there is just one more little problem."
"Now what?" Xena exclaimed, running out of patience.
"I just thought that perhaps you might want to take a shower first, and maybe shampoo your hair."
"I was in the spring not three days ago, I'm plenty clean."
"Well, no offense, but people now days are kind of funny about - - body odor. Not that yours is that bad, you understand. But you have to be really, really clean to go into the hospital. They're kind of funny that way."
"Fine. So where's this shower?"
"It's this way." Tara said, leading Xena toward the bathroom. Just before she went into the bathroom, Xena took off the robe and tossed it to Anya.
Spike grinned again. Xander's jaw dropped again, until Anya elbowed him in the ribs, and Giles decided not to turn away.
End of Part 2
CHAPTER FIVE
"So," Buffy said, "What's there to do around here? Anything exciting?"
"Believe me, the last thing you want is excitement." Xena answered. "Around here, excitement usually means one warlord or another is attacking a village, or something's on fire, or . . . "
"I get the picture -- no excitement. So what do we do?"
"I guess we can gather more firewood, it's going to be dark in a couple of hours. Why don't you get the wood, and I'll see if I can scare something up for supper. I think I saw a couple rabbits a little while ago. Oh yes, you can walk Argo down to the spring. I'm sure she'd like some fresh water." And without another word, Xena disappeared into the woods.
"Well, just Please and Thank You, Buffy." Buffy said sarcastically to the section of woods Xena had just disappeared into.
*****
Several hours later, after Xena had returned and cooked the two rabbits, which Buffy decided taste nothing like chicken, they settled down for the night.
"Do we really have to sleep out here? I'm really not much for camping out." Buffy complained.
"I thought we had to stay in one place so you and Gabrielle can switch back."
"I don't think so," Buffy answered. "I don't think it matters where we go."
"There's a village a half day from here. I don't suppose it will hurt to check it out tomorrow to see if they have an inn that's not too run down. And it will give us something to do."
After a while the fire had died down, and about the time Buffy was dozing off, Xena spoke.
"Buffy, I'm not one for getting all sentimental, but Gabrielle means more to me than anything. I don't know what I would do if I lost her. Just in case I don't get around to it later, I just want to say Thank You. I don't know how I'll ever repay you and Willow . . . ."
"Don't forget Tara."
"And Tara, too. It's good to know there are people like you and Willow and Tara still around 2000 years from now."
*****
"That's so sweet." Anya said to Dawn.
"I know. Xena acts like she's all hard and tough on the outside, but I think she's kind of soft on the inside."
"Well it sounds bloody nauseating if you ask me!" Spike spoke up.
"Nobody ASKED you, Spike." Xander retorted. "Why don't you wait until you're spoken to before you . . . "
"Hey! Buffy asked me to be here. I didn't have to come, you know. I'm doing all of you a favor, a bloody BIG favor."
"Yeah, Whatever." Was all Xander could think of to say.
*****
As Gabrielle slowly swam up to consciousness, she was vaguely aware that things weren't quite right, but she was too groggy to really understand. Things didn't smell right. There were sounds she couldn't identify. The light was different, even though her eyes were closed. For some reason, they didn't want to open. The bed, or whatever it was she was lying on, wasn't the pallet she had laid down on. The pain in her side was still there, but it felt . . . different.
She wanted to call out for Xena, but her throat was constricted, and her mouth was full of stickiness. Then she felt herself sinking back into unconsciousness.
"Has she woken up yet?" Giles asked Willow.
"She's been in and out, but I don't think she's really been awake."
The next time Gabrielle woke up, she was more aware, but she just couldn't get her eyes to focus. Instead, she tried to understand what she was hearing, smelling, and feeling.
The bed she was in had some kind of soft linen sheets, and the bed itself was firm, yet soft, as was the pillow.
The odors she didn't recognize at all. She just knew they kind of burned the insides of her nose.
Then she began to hear voices, she knew she should be able to understand, but they were too low, or too far away.
Gabrielle moved her hand to her side, and felt a bandage, but when she pressed on it, a sharp pain drove through her, making her gasp and come fully awake.
Then she heard a vaguely familiar voice say, "Oh, I think she's awake now"
Gabrielle turned her head toward the voice, and when she finally focused her eyes, she was surprised to see Willow."
"Will--" she croaked.
"Here, have a sip of water," Willow said as she gently lifted Gabrielle's head so she could drink.
Gabrielle hadn't realized how thirsty she was, and she drank until the glass was empty.
When she tried again, her voice was closer to normal.
"Willow, how . . . where . . . where's Xena? How did you get here? Where am I?"
"You're here, in our time. You were very sick, and we had to bring you up here to make you well."
"Xena's not here?" Gabrielle asked, more confused than before. "How did I get here?"
"Tara and I used magic to bring you here, well, actually Tara did it by herself. But Buffy had to go in your place. And when you're well, she can just switch you two back."
"Wait. That doesn't make sense. Nothing does."
"You're probably still dopey from all the medicine. You go back to sleep now, and the next time you wake up, I'll explain everything. But don't worry, you're fine. Everything is fine."
CHAPTER SIX
With the dawn, Xena was up and rebuilding the fire, feeding and watering Argo, and occasionally looking around, just in case she could see Buffy's friends watching her.
She was getting irritated that Buffy was sleeping so late. The sun had been up over an hour, so she nudged her with her foot.
"Come on! It's getting late, the sun's already over the trees. I've heated up the last of the rabbit, and if you don't want it, I'm going to finish it myself."
Buffy mumbled something from underneath the blanket.
"What?" Xena asked rather loudly. "I can't hear you with your head buried like that."
"I said 'Not now!' It's barely daylight. Why are you up so early?"
"Are you getting up, or shall I empty this water bag in your direction?"
"Okay, okay! I'm up. I'm up. I think I'll pass on the leftovers. I usually don't eat until around ten o'clock."
"Around ten what?" Xena asked.
"Ten o'clock! Ten in the morning. You know - two hours before noon?"
"We'll be on the road then. You wanted to check out that town, remember? You ought to eat, though. Supper isn't until just before sunset."
"That's it? You just eat two meals a day?"
"How many do you eat?"
"At least three. And snacks."
"Snacks? What are snacks?"
"Things you eat between meals. You know - sandwiches, cookies, Twinkies . . . ."
"I guess you know what all those things are, but I can assure you, we don't have any of that here."
"So, I'll have a little of the rabbit."
"Isn't there any other way to get to the village besides walking?" Buffy asked Xena after a while.
"We could ride Argo."
"She's just a little too big, I think I'd rather walk."
"Suit yourself." Xena answered.
They walked a little longer, when Xena stopped without warning. Buffy looked at her, about to ask her what was up, when Xena called out,
"Okay, Ares, I know you're here! Show yourself!"
And in flash of blue sparks, Ares, the God of War materialized in front of the two women.
"I'll never know how you do that, Xena." Then he noticed that instead of Gabrielle, Xena had a new companion.
"Well, hello. Xena, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
"Yeah, sure. Buffy, Ares. Ares, Buffy."
Looking around again, he asked, "So where's Gabrielle?"
Not feeling it was necessary to tell Ares any more than she had to, Xena told him Gabrielle was off visiting Lila, her sister, and she and Buffy were on their way to meet up with her in a few days.
Ares then asked Buffy why he hadn't seen her before.
"I'm just visiting, too. I'm from . . . the west, near the big sea. Just visiting my good friend Xena."
Turning to Xena, Ares asked, "So why haven't you mention your good friend to me before?"
"Because, contrary to what you might think, what I do, and who I know is my business, not yours."
"Well aren't we the crabby one?"
"Are you really the God of War?" Buffy asked.
"Don't get him started." Xena said to her. But ignoring the warning, Buffy pressed on.
"I hear you're quite powerful."
"Well, I don't like to brag," Ares started, as Xena snorted. "But I have my ways."
"So, exactly what kind of powers do you have? Other than appearing in a shower of blue sparks."
"How about this?" Ares answered as he mustered up a growing ball of blue lighting. He suddenly threw it at an especially large tree, burning through it and bringing it crashing to the ground.
"Quite impressive. Do you have any other powers?"
"Exactly why do you want to know?" He asked, becoming suspicious.
Buffy cut her eyes to Xena, who turned to suppress a smile, the she said, "Where I come from, everyone talks about the Great God of War, and I am writing a book, I mean a scroll, about my journey here, and I'd love to have a chapter about the famous Ares."
"So they really talk about me?" Ares asked, now very interested.
"Oh, yes. In fact I've even heard some of them call you 'Ares the Magnificent'."
"Ares the Magnificent. You know, that has a certain ring to it. Yes, I LIKE IT! Now you were saying?"
"Well, I understand you are immortal. Does that mean you can never die?"
"Oh, we can die." Ares said, as he gave Xena a hard look. "Under certain conditions our lives can be ended. But barring such unfortunate circumstances, we could live forever."
"So if I was to stab you with, say, Xena's sword, you wouldn't feel it?"
"Oh, I'd feel it. But there wouldn't be any pain."
"Can I try? Just so I'll have something interesting to write down, you understand. I wouldn't want to hurt you or anything."
"You'd have to use a sword?"
"It wouldn't HAVE to be a sword. How about Xena's tiny little 6 inch dagger?"
"Sure, why not?"
Xena walked over to Buffy, barely able to keep from laughing, and handed her the dagger.
"Now you'll tell me if I hurt you, won't you?" Buffy asked.
"Just do it." Ares said, confidently.
"Do you think you could open your shirt? That's so I can see exactly how it goes in."
Looking at Xena and grinning, Ares bared his chest and stomach.
At first Buffy just touched the tip of the dagger to Ares' stomach, just above his belt, then she slowly pushed the knife in about two inches. Ares didn't show any sign that anything had happened. Buffy pushed the blade in farther, and farther until it was in all the way to the hilt.
"Nothing?" Buffy asked him.
"Don't feel a thing." He answered.
Then Buffy slowly began to turn the knife, and with one swift movement, she slashed it sideways, across his belly and out the side.
Ares, caught by surprise, hurriedly backed away a few steps.
"Whoa, there. What's going on?" He demanded
"I'm sorry," Buffy said, "did that hurt? I'm really sorry if I hurt you."
Xena bit her lip to keep from laughing.
"No! No, I'm not hurt. You just surprised me, that's all."
"Well, you most certainly are godly. Do you have any other special powers?"
"I do have one, but it's only used on special occasions."
"And that is?"
"I am totally irresistible to women. To most women." He added when Xena loudly cleared her throat.
"And I think that this may just be one of those special occasions."
"Oh, yes, I'm sure it would be," Buffy stalled, trying to think of a way out." But, uh. Oh! Before I left home, I took a Vow of Chastity."
"A Vow of Chastity? Why would a healthy, beautiful woman like you do such a stupid thing as take a Vow of Chastity?" Ares asked incredulously.
"Uh. Well. It's a religious thing. Just while I'm visiting Xena. That's it. Just for now."
"I'll never understand women. Never."
"But there is one other thing you can do, if you're able to, that is."
"Well?"
"I was wondering, you see, since I've been away from home, I haven't been able to find anyone who can fix my most favorite food. And I thought that since you ARE Ares the Magnificent, that maybe you could help me out."
"And just what is this favorite food of yours?"
"It's warm, fresh bread, creamy butter, honey, and a flagon, or goblet or whatever you drink out of, of pure, clear, clean water."
"That's it? Hah! Easy!"
And in a sprinkling of blue sparkles, Ares was holding a silver platter piled high with freshly baked bread, two silver bowls, one filled with butter, the other with honey, a gold pitcher of spring water, and a golden goblet.
"Oh, thank you! You don't know what this means to me!"
"Think nothing of it," Ares replied. "Are you sure about this Vow of Chastity?"
"Yes, Ares, she's sure. Don't you have a war to start somewhere?"
"I get the not-so-subtle hint, Xena, but I'll be back."
And Ares disappeared in a shower of angry blue sparks.
"Well," Buffy declared. "He's not exactly what I thought a god would be like."
"What did you expect?"
"I don't know, I guess I thought he would be taller, like maybe 20 feet."
"You must be thinking of the Titans."
"Well, in any event, I must admit he is quite the Hunk."
"Hunk?" Xena asked perplexed.
"Yeah, a Hunk. You know, a good looking guy, good body: a Hunk.
"I suppose."
"Although I must say, he was quite full of himself."
"I don't think I've ever heard him described like that, but it certainly seems to fit. I suppose all gods are 'full of themselves,' now that I think about it."
"Xena. You have got to try some of this. It's delicious!"
"Was that all you could think of to ask for, bread, water and honey?"
"It's a snack."
CHAPTER SEVEN
The next time Gabrielle woke up, her head was clear and her lower stomach barely ached. Willow was sitting in a chair next to her bed.
"How do you feel?" Willow asked.
"Good, I think. Seeing you here, and seeing this place then I must be in your time. But where's Xena?"
"She's not here." Willow answered.
"Then where is she? Is she coming?"
"Actually, no. Why don't you let me start from the beginning? I think you'll understand better if I do."
"So are you saying that there's no way for you to tell Xena that I'm fine?"
"I'm afraid not."
"She must be worried sick! I've got to get back to her. I can't let her think that I might be dead. You've got to get me out of here."
"Well, it's not that easy. They've got these nurses around all the time. And if we try to sneak you out and get caught we could get into trouble. The doctor said that you can't leave until your stitches heal up."
"My what? What stitches?"
"It's where they had to sew you up."
"Sew me up? What are you talking about?"
"Of course! You don't know. Your appendix burst, and they had to operate." Seeing Gabrielle's confusion, Willow continued. "They had to cut you open and take it out."
"They cut me open?"
Then she remembered the pain in her lower abdomen, and after pulling up her gown, her mouth fell open when she saw the staples holding together the incision.
"Oh, that's right, you have staples, I forgot. Now I remember, the doctor said they have to stay in for a week or so, so you can heal up."
"I don't think I like the idea of being cut open!"
"They had to." Willow tried to explain. "If they didn't, you would have died."
Before Gabrielle could say more, a nurse came into the room.
"Well, Miss Smith, I see you're finally awake. The doctor will be around later on to look at you." She then proceeded to take Gabrielle's pulse and temperature.
After she took the thermometer out of her mouth, Gabrielle asked Willow, "Why did she call me Missmith?"
"That's your name." She answered. And then looking at the nurse, she said. "She still must be a little groggy, she doesn't even remember her own name."
The nurse looked at Gabrielle for a second to see if she was all right, and then left the room.
"That's not my name. Why did you say it was?"
"Well, in our time, everybody has two names, and Giles, you'll probably meet him later, had to give you one, and all he could think of was 'Smith.'"
"But I'm not a smithy. If anything, I'm a bard."
"Names here don't have anything to do with the kind of work we do. It's just a very common last name and I think Giles figured no one would think anything about it."
"Willow, I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I have to go back to my world. It's not fair to let Xena worry like that. And I know Buffy must want to come back."
"I know. I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll talk to Tara and Giles and we'll try to figure something out. In the meantime, why don't we watch some TV?"
"Willow, it's been three days now, almost four. And as nice as everyone has been to me, I can't stand this. I have got to get out of here. I want to go home!"
"Okay, I'll talk to Giles again. I'm sure he'll know what to do. Look, I'm calling him right now."
A couple of hours later everyone but Willow and Gabrielle were gathered in the dorm room, trying to think of some way to get a message to Xena, or to get Gabrielle out of the hospital without jeopardizing her health. It was Dawn who finally came up with the solution.
"Tara, why don't you just swap somebody for Xena? Then she could go see Gabrielle
for herself?"
"You know," Giles said. "That's really not a bad idea. The question is - who will go from here?"
"I will." Dawn volunteered.
"No, Dawn. It will be too dangerous for you." He answered.
"It can't be any more dangerous for me here, waiting for Glory to find me again. Besides, Buffy is there to protect me. We've been watching them for four days, now. Buffy's really been catching onto this camping out stuff."
"She's got a good point." Tara told them. "And it would only be for another day or two. Once Gabrielle's out of the hospital she and Xena can go back home. I'm sure Xena will take care of her."
"Then it's settled!" Dawn said triumphantly. "Let's go. Now!"
"I suppose it's about the only real solution." Remarked Giles.
"That suits my fancy." Spike broke in. "I'm getting bloody well tired of this place. I do have a life elsewhere, you know."
"I called Willow to tell her what we were going to do. She said that right now, Gabrielle was napping, but it would really be a big surprise, so she wasn't going to tell her." Tara told them.
"Dawn, if you are going to do this, then you're going to have to take your clothes off, and put on something else. When Xena gets here, she won't be very comfortable in your clothes."
"So what do I put on?" She asked.
"I don't know. Nobody I know is as big as Xena."
"Then how about if I just wrap a sheet around me?"
"That would work. You go get changed and I'll get everything ready."
Fifteen minutes later, Dawn was ready. Everyone took a candle and stood around her, and Tara began the spell.
Dawn and Xena. Apart in time. Apart in space.
Let them now be switched to each other's place
From each one's world may they disappear
Send Dawn there, bring Xena here
*****
Xena and Buffy were in the process of preparing the camp for the evening. As Buffy was banking the fire, Xena was grooming Argo. As she turned to say something to Buffy, she found herself in a strange room, surrounded by strange people holding candles, and wearing only a sheet.
For a moment no one said anything.
"Xena," Tara was the first to speak. "I'm Tara, Willow's friend. Don't be alarmed, I just brought you here like we did Gabrielle."
"Gabrielle!" Xena suddenly realized she wasn't with them. "Where's Gabrielle? Is she all right? Where is she?"
"She's fine. She's fine. She's in the hospital."
"Why isn't she here?"
"She was very sick. We had to take her to the hospital so she would get better."
"Then I want to see her. Now."
"We're going to take you to see her, that's why we brought you here. We knew you were worried. See? There's Buffy and Dawn." Tara pointed to the bowl. Xena walked over and saw Buffy talking to Dawn, who was trying to keep Xena's clothing and armor from falling down and leaving her naked.
Xena smiled at the sight, then turned toward the group and said. "Let's go."
"Well, there's just one problem. You have to have something to wear."
"What's wrong with this?" Xena indicated the sheet she was wrapped in.
"People around here usually wear the kind of clothes we have on. You'd look kind of strange with just a sheet on."
"So, get me some clothes." She demanded.
Without thinking, Anya handed Xena a robe that belonged to Willow, and without any problem, Xena dropped the sheet to put on the robe. Giles, embarrassed, turned away. Xander could only stare.
It was up to Spike to speak. "There you go, lovey, good show!"
When Xena saw everyone staring at her she said, "What!"
Tara answered, "People are kind of uncomfortable with strange women walking around naked."
"Speak for yourself!" Spike spoke up again.
"So are you telling me I can't wear this either? Then get me something I can wear."
"Now, that's is another problem. No one here wears the size you do. We are going to have to stop at the Big and Tall Girls shop to get you something to wear."
"So why all the talk? Why aren't we leaving."
"Well, darn it, there is just one more little problem."
"Now what?" Xena exclaimed, running out of patience.
"I just thought that perhaps you might want to take a shower first, and maybe shampoo your hair."
"I was in the spring not three days ago, I'm plenty clean."
"Well, no offense, but people now days are kind of funny about - - body odor. Not that yours is that bad, you understand. But you have to be really, really clean to go into the hospital. They're kind of funny that way."
"Fine. So where's this shower?"
"It's this way." Tara said, leading Xena toward the bathroom. Just before she went into the bathroom, Xena took off the robe and tossed it to Anya.
Spike grinned again. Xander's jaw dropped again, until Anya elbowed him in the ribs, and Giles decided not to turn away.
End of Part 2