Hiya! This is the second part of Dreams. I still don't own WeiB. I still wish I did. *pouts* Any way, please read and respond!

Dreams... Chapter 1 Part 2

Verraten (Betrayal)


"Ohayo!" I greeted them all cheerfully.
It is the morning after.
I didn't sleep well. Couldn't. The nightmare too fresh in my subconscious.
Why doesn't it go away?
It wasn't real. Fake.
Just another mission.
Only pretend.
I grin. I know how to hide my feelings. I'm good at it.
I have always lived with uncertainty.
Why... why does it bother me?
It almost feels as if the only thing in my life that was sure has become uncertain. Slipped out of balance.

We are on our way to meet Manx at the fence of the American Army base.
When we arrive the others begin to talk.
The base holds my attention. I look through the chain links. Look into the yard. Farther in. I see the building where Manx was a captive
Not far from here. Very close. The abandoned amusement park. The place where we fought. The stage.
The plastic hand crafted horse. I wonder, is it still splattered with the phony blood? The wires? Are my arrows still there?
I am startled out of my thoughts by a voice.
"But what about Kaori-chan? She saw the mission."
It was Ken-kun.
"She saw nothing." This Aya-kun says.
"Ever since she was hospitalized after the explosion," I take up, "She has been unable to go out side." I sigh. "It's regrettable, but her brother died in a biking accident."
"Since Kaori saw nothing, WeiB has no reprimands for this mission," Manx informed us.
"Some things are better left in the dark." Yohji interjects, a cigarette in his mouth.
"So none of you will ever see Kaori again. That's the best way to handle it."
"Are you okay with that Omi?" I can see that Ken is still worried.
"Yeah, it'll just hurt her more if we're around, I think."
"I guess."
"Omi, do you know what the flower word for iris is?"
At Aya-kun's question I think of the iris' I had sent over to her hospital room.
"Yeah, 'happiness will surely come' Demo, for us, these words bring nothing but pain. Unless there's a place in this cruel world with unending happiness."
I hadn't meant for all of that to come out. I look over at Ken-kun. His look is one of surprise...... and worry.
I don't want him to worry anymore. I smile at him again.
This response is becoming automatic, given the circumstances.

That afternoon after we open our make-shift flower shop, I watch.
They are the same.
Yohji-kun still hitting on the women.
Ken-kun teasing Yohji, trying not to trip over the watering can he left on the ground.
Aya-kun busy threatening the non-paying customers. Attempting to act as referee to the other two.
They are the same. This is the same. As it has always been.
I am uncomfortable.
Why? What part of this is bothering me? I don't understand it.
On a mission I would trust each one of them with my life.
I still care for them. Love them really. They are my only family.
What is my problem? Why can't I make this feeling go away? Why am I so afraid?
'It's not real!' I shout again to the recesses of my mind.
I look up. Two girls enter the 'shop'. One in tears.
As if on automatic I grab a single stem freesia and walk towards them.
I make sure my usual smile is firmly in place. It hides the uncertainty I feel.
Almost there and I stop short.
Betrayal. The reason she is crying.
Betrayed by one she thought she could trust.
Her best friend broke her heart.
Betrayal.
Last night's nightmare plays again in my mind.
Betrayal.
A young boy bound. Crying......... Hurt............
Betrayal.
Betrayed by the ones he thought he could trust.
His father broke his heart.
Betrayal.
I begin to shake. Ken notices.
In seconds he is by my side.
I drop the flower I had been holding, it's delicate petals becoming bruised on the way down.
I try to stop shaking. I can't.
Aya-kun and Yohji-kun are looking at me.
Those two girls are looking at me.
Ken-kun is looking at me.
I close my eyes to stop the parade of faces. It doesn't help.
I know they are still there. Still looking at me.
I try to snuff out the thought that has begun to parade itself around my brain. Again, I can't.
Betrayal.
They wouldn't, would they?
Betrayal.
Betrayal?
"Omi, Daijabu? Omi.... Oi, Omi? Omi............"
I hear the worry in Ken's voice. But the sound is receding. Must be because I am walking away. Why am I walking away? I almost don't even realize I am doing it. If it hadn't been for Ken's voice I wouldn't have realized at all.
I do not stop walking until I reach the park. I see the smiling faces of the children with there parents. At the far end there is a couple talking shyly. On the benches a group of friends are doing there home work.
My knees buckle and I sink to the ground.
A thought- no, more a realization dawns slowly on me.
Trust.
Betrayal.
Friendship.
I know why I am uncomfortable around Aya-kun and Yohji-kun.
Trust?
I know why I am here, away from them.
Betrayal?
Do they consider me what I have always considered them?
Friendship?
Are these people who I think they are?
My world crashes down around me. I know what has been bothering me.
I understand now why I am afraid.
'No. It can't be. Can it?'
If it had been real, what would they have done?
If it had been real, would I still be alive?


Owari Verraten