So much stuff…Geez Mia, why'd you have to pack everything! I was looking at all the junk on the floor I had collected over the years as I sat behind it wearing a pair of dark blue pants and another loose black shirt unbuttoned.
"What are you still doing up?" My head jerked up to see Misao standing at the bedroom door. The shirt I had given her to wear went half way down her thighs, she wore tights underneath and the long sleeves covered all of her arms as well as her hands. She padded silently towards me on the carpet and sat down on the floor with me.
"Couldn't sleep. Besides I felt like unpacking my things. If I don't do it the day I get to wherever I'm going it'll never be done." We both chuckle and fall into a comfortable silence. I begin rummaging around in the mess remembering how I had gotten some of the things.
"Wow, for a guy you have quite a lot of stuff." Misao had spoken to me as she looked at all the small things I had displayed on the ground.
"Yeah I collected some things to take with me when I decided I needed to leave a certain town because I was in it too long. I wouldn't use all of the money I saved from cans to buy food. If I saw something that I thought was pretty cool in a store I'd ask how much it was and then work so hard, that I'd forget about eating, and get that amount of money in a matter of days. Sometimes I wouldn't come on the exact amount but the storeowners let me have it anyway. I had always gone in everyday to make sure it was still there."
"That's torturing yourself" Misao replied to me with large eyes as if in disbelief that I could do that to myself.
"Actually I think it was the only thing that kept me going. Everytime I bought something different I'd thrust it up in the air and shout to the heavens hoping my mum and dad could hear me and look down to see what I had bought this time. I guess that's pretty silly when you think about it."
"I don't think so." I looked at Misao and realised she had a light blush staining her cheeks and a shy yet cute smile tugging on her lips. I nodded my head and went back to rummaging around. A few minutes later Misao spoke.
"Let me get this straight, if I actually picked any of these up you could tell me the adventure you went through to get it?"
"Sure"
"What about this?" She had picked up a small toy car that was pretty old and very much broken.
"I actually found that when I fell over in the backyard after I left the house. I took it with me, as it was my favourite gift that I had gotten from my parents. It wasn't my birthday or Christmas, they'd just given it to me and said they were proud of me and that they loved me so much. I was only about 3." Misao nodded and then pointed to a small pink/orange elephant. I smiled at this memory.
"Mia gave this to me when we first met. She was about 12 when she was in her backyard. She'd obviously heard me crying. She went out the back gate and found me hiding around the garbage bins. She had asked where I lived and where my parents were but I couldn't stop my crying. Without any warning she wrapped me up in her hug and said she'd take me to her house and look after me. I was shaking my head negatively but she soon got around me by talking about toys, cookies and milk and then she gave this to me."
"Why were you crying so much?"
"I fell asleep hidden in the many garbage bags and someone came along and took all of my cans." I began laughing and Misao smiled. I let out a sigh and got up and walked over to another box.
"What about that?" Misao had said pointing at me. I looked confused at her and she got up and silently walked towards me. She blushed slightly at seeing my shirt undone but picked up the necklace in her fingers and then looked up at me. I soon took it off and let her have a look.
"This is the only thing I have of my parents besides a few photos and my memories. When I saw them hit the floor dead I sat dazed for about 15 minutes. The man had already left the second he knew they were dead. I crawled towards them and lay in front of them looking at their prone forms. These are their wedding bands. It took my father years to buy this for my mother and she never once took it off. Even though I was only 5 years old I soon figured out it was not good for me to stay here so I grabbed the only two things that would forever connect me to them and left for good."
"They're beautiful. I wish I had something that showed how much my parents loved each other." Her head was bowed and she was starring at my necklace.
"I'm starring at it though" I had softly replied to her. Her head jerked up to look at me and she tilted it to the side waiting for me to continue.
"Don't you see, that you are all they ever wanted. Maybe you don't have a gift like these rings but you are what kept them together and so much in love." I was shocked I had stated this so passionately. I guess I hated seeing her sad. The smile on Misao's face lit up her eyes and all I could do was stare at her. She soon turned my palm over and placed my necklace in it.
"Your right you know. Even though all I have is a photo. I know that I was the most precious person in their hearts. Would you like a hand unpacking?"
I was amazed that Misao was able to change the subject so quickly. We soon fell into silence and unpacked my stuff.
* * * *
It was about 5am and we had only finished placing all my ornaments around the place. Misao had stated that no matter how old a person gets they will always keep many toys and gifts they have either received or bought for themselves. I sat tiredly on the couch while Misao stretched out on the floor.
"Shinomori, am I cold and isolated like you said?" I look down to see her starring the other way waiting for my answer.
"That depends on the way you look at it. You see when it comes to being isolated you like being around Kaoru and the others even though you don't speak much and yet you seem to like being alone. As for the coldness I believe so."
"Why?"
"All your friends want to help you out because they care for you deeply and yet with you being silent which turns into coldness at not responding to them you are hurting their feelings. I know they have no idea what you've been through but they still want you to know that they care about you and they want to help. If you keep this up, they surely have won."
"Who have won?"
"I know it's dreadful what you have gone through, but you acting the way you are is as if you have let them beat you. They wanted to make your life hell and wanted to make you suffer forever and you not letting it go is doing exactly that."
"Its not easy to forget" Misao had stated quietly to me.
"I know, but you must remember that it isn't going to happen overnight and that if you need help, there are others here who care deeply about you, and are waiting for you to come back."
"You make it sound like I've gone far away."
"Don't you think you have though? I know you couldn't be like this all the time because of what Kaoru had stated." I knew this was going to interest Misao so I waited for her to ask me. I sat up on the couch and glanced at her and realised she too sat up and faced me. I looked into her eyes and saw the question written there.
"She misses the real Misao. The one that smiled her radiant smile and her voice that filled the rooms or the whole yard with peace and the sweetest laugh and giggles she had heard. Everyone misses having the Misao they know and they want her to return."
"You always seem to know what I am going to say before I say it."
"I told you I can see it in your eyes" I had said to her again.
"What about you?"
"What?" Was she asking me about whether or not I like showing my emotions?
"You have stated about everyone else's emotions in the group but what about you. How come you don't like talking about your emotions?"
"Well I…Seriously I am not one for emotions. I think they sometimes come out and they shock the hell out of everyone including myself. I never really speak about my family and I never go back to try and remember what has happened. If I did I'd probably break down. Like I said emotions are through a person's eyes and well as you can see I'm not really one for showing my eyes. I like being guarded from others, its just something I've been used to ever since I was a kid." I smile at her and notice she is now kneeling on her knees in front of me. I could do nothing but sit frozen at what she did next. Misao was biting her bottom lip and her small hands raised up and began brushing away my long bangs. One of her small palms rested against my face while her other fingers traced a line under my eye. I soon lifted my gaze to hers and we could say nothing as we both sat frozen in the silence. Minutes passed and Misao was the first to speak.
"So beautiful, just like the ice and snow in winter with a touch of blue in them" she soon blushed at what she had said and as if in reaction I too felt a light blush creep on my cheeks.
"Misao?" I had choked out her name but didn't know what else to say. She soon dropped her hands and rose to her feet. I did the same and waited for her to speak.
"Thank you for helping me Shinomori. You are right and I shall try and make a change to become me once again. Good night." Shinomori? Man I must snap her out of that. I silently nodded and waved her to go to the bedroom.
"Hey Misao, how long is it going to take for you to call me 'Aoshi'?"
"Hopefully not as long as it will take me to convince myself that we are going to be friends soon" I smile and soon turn around and begin fiddling with a box I had missed. I could see her hesitating and soon snapped her out of it by talking to her.
"Go to sleep Misao. It will take me about 10 minutes." I heard a small laugh and soon the closing of the door. I opened the box and found a recent photo of Mia sitting there. I smiled and traced my fingers over it.
"Good night Mia."
* * * *
I woke to the pressure of a blanket being placed over my exposed body and the light pressure of fingers brushing my long bangs away. I soon opened my eyes to see Misao sitting on the floor watching me as I am leaning on my side facing her. I had fallen asleep on the couch after I put all my pictures around the lounge room area.
"What are you doing?" I ask her sleepily. A small giggle fills the room as she finds me amusingly, as I have not completely woken up yet and it sounds sweet, just like Kaoru said.
"Watching you sleep. You are more relaxed like this and it gives me a different perspective." I nod at what she says and bring my watch closer to my face to try and read the time.
"Don't worry, we kind of missed school." I look to Misao who grabbed my small clock and showed me it was 2pm. I begin to laugh and Misao just looks at me curiously.
"Today was my first day and I didn't even show up. I was supposed to have another meeting with the principal about rules and regulations. I guess I've just broken one of them."
"I think you'll need to make an excuse as not to get detention." I thought for a minute and then came up with the idea of Mia getting me out of it.
"That's cool, I'll just ring Mia and tell her what happened. She'll make some damn good excuse up for me and I'll tell it to the principal." I look back over at Misao to see her starring at the photo I had found last night.
"She's beautiful, such a kind loving face" Misao face turned to look at me, and her eyes held sadness, which confused me but I let it pass and began to tell her a story.
"I remember she was 16 and all the boys were after her where I used to live. It was so funny to see them drooling like idiots over her and I was the one that got to speak to her, care and love her. I felt very fortunate and blessed. It was so funny this one time I was being beaten up and Mia ended up finding out about it and she soon found the guys who were doing it and displayed anger and tears to them because I'd been hurt. For like two months they sent her chocolates, flowers and gifts for both of us to get her forgiveness. Misao what's wrong?" My heart clenched at the sight of her. Tears spilled from her closed eyes and she soon raced to the bedroom and closed the door behind her. I sat in shock for a couple of seconds and then went into the room.
"Misao? Misao are you okay?" I was now sitting on the floor beside her but she had placed the sheets over herself and rolled into a small ball.
"Go away" Her weak voice was muffled but I could hear and feel the pain. I know it was about my story and about her so I wanted to help.
"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."
"I wish…I wish I was you." WHAT! My mind replied to me. What was she talking about?
"Mi-" I was cut off by Misao speaking again.
"Compared to my life you have luxury. We both lost our parents and yet you saw it done and know whom to hate. As for myself I wasn't there when it happened so I don't know who to trust anymore. The next person I meet could very well be the person who killed my family. You have been loved unconditionally by a beautiful and caring woman for years, where I have had nobody."
"Misao?" I didn't know what to say. She was pouring her heart out to me and I could do nothing but take it all in.
"I don't even have a home!" I froze stiff at what she had said. No home, no family, no love and yet I find her the bravest person I have come across as she has stayed in this world to try and make a life for herself.
"If you walk down the street a few blocks you'll see a large brick building. That's where I live. It's a women's hostile. They go there to receive treatment and to keep away from their husbands that attack them. I have to lie to the people so they won't throw me out. I tell them my father hits me or my brothers and I don't wish to go back so they let me stay because I am over 16 years old. Can't you understand why I don't wish to be here anymore? I have had enough!" Misao had soon thrown the blankets away from her and sat up saying the last few sentences in her speech to me. Her hands were now wiping away her tears from her face and she grew tense at how silent I was being.
"Misao?"
"Y-Yes?" My heart clenched at her small and uncertain voice. I got up and sat on the bed with her, but not too close to freak her out.
"You are the bravest person I know." I spoke honestly towards her.
"What?" Her ocean-blue eyes widened and her moist lips parted in surprise.
"After everything you have been through, your parents death, living alone, taking care of yourself, not having any love and yet you still remain here. You have even placed yourself in school. If that had happened to me I don't think I could have gone on and yet you have. If Mia hadn't taken me in I would probably be still wondering around aimlessly trying to find ways to end my life."
"But I'll never feel loved…" Misao had broken off and placed her hands over her face which was red with embarrassment and because of the tears that fell moments ago.
"Misao that is so wrong. Kenshin, Sano, Megumi and Kaoru love you. They want to help you come back and they want you to fill the love they have for you. Don't you understand they are all waiting patiently with open arms for you to come back?" I stood up on the bed and when Misao felt the pressure she soon raised her face to look up at me. I could see the loneliness in her eyes and wanted to comfort her but would dare not unless she agreed. Misao stood as well and was about to speak but I cut her off.
"I know you want to be loved Misao and your friends are now your family. I also now you wish to be comforted as well and I can help you with that but only if you let me. Will you let me help you?" What the hell was happening to me? I had only met this girl the other day and I have this knowing feeling that I must help protect her like the others. They have let me into the lives without even knowing anything about me. As for Misao she has poured her heart and soul out to me and I want to help her fill loved. I want to share the love I have had, with her. I watched her closely and even though her eyes showed how scarred she felt she soon stepped towards me and wrapped her small arms around my waist and placed her head on my chest. I was shocked this was actually happening but soon wrapped her up in a light comfortable hug that she could easily escape from if she ever felt terrified. As soon as I placed my arms around her small body she tightened her embrace and cried brokenly on my chest. As if on reaction my embrace tightened and I laid my head on hers and spoke quietly to her.
"You don't have to be afraid anymore Misao. I'll take care of you." Her head nodded under mind and I smiled as she was finally going to trust me. She soon loosened the embrace and looked up at me with tears falling over her cheeks. I brushed them away and she lightly blushed and gave me a cute smile that got my heartbeat rate going faster. I stepped down off the bed and decided to change the subject.
"Misao do you want to go out and get something to eat with me?" I stared up at her still standing on the bed. She nodded enthusiastically and jumped off the bed. I left the room for her to change and was placing my shirt on and grabbing my money and keys. The door opened and she was wearing a long black skirt and my shirt. She hadn't placed on her coat, as it seemed like a pleasant day outside. I smiled at her not feeling the least bit annoyed that she wished to wear my shirt. I waved her to the door and we soon left locking it behind us.
* * * *