Title: "Guys, Girls and Hand Guns"
Author: Mystic25
Summary: In the discombobulated hanging parts after
"Designate This", a bit of loose end tying is applied. This is a lil
sad.
Rating: PG13 for language.
Disclaimer: The song in here isn't mine, don't know who
sings it, but it's some one that
isn't me. And of course Dark Angel belongs to Cameron/Eglee
and Fox. Suing a poor girl would do you as much good as trying to avoid the
IRS.
Author's Note: Sorry about that confusing summary. The
season premiere was killer. I still don't like the idea of Logan and Asha, but
I think she's kewl. I expected her to be a richy snob, but she's more of a
liberal, gun happy fanatic.
*****
Her eyes snap open in the dark, and immediately she sits up,
temporarily unaware of her surroundings. Manticore barracks wall are now
replaced by softer, masculine browns and grays.
/Okay, I know I got out from Hell, so where the..? Oh yea,
that's right/ She cleared her mind of her questioning rants after realizing that
this was Logan's bedroom. And the reason it was so dark was because some how in
the night the comforter had wound up over her face.
She threw it off her body with such force that it hit the
opposite wall
of the bedroom. A quick glance at the digital clock told her
it was
a little past seven /damn Manticore, now I'm gonna be waking
up at 0700
hours forever/ She hopped off the bed, and regretted it a
few seconds
later when her muscles locked. All the strain of the escape,
plus the
regular morning training sessions and that thirty-mile trek
into Seattle
on foot after hitting Washington reduced her to one gigantic
bruise.
She cautiously stretched both arms over her head, popping
her back, and
anything else that would give. The gray Seattle skyline peaked
out of the north
window. She stared at it for a while, the half demolished
buildings and bruised
landscape. Not much to look at, but something she had worked
so hard for months
to get back.
One hand idly traced under her gray shirt at the now healed incision
in her chest. /Zack, he couldn't have gotten out. Not in that state.The fire
spread too fast/ Each heart beat reminded her of what he gave, the unwritten
code of the solider, a life for a life.
The door to the room creaked open, and Max was jerked out of
her thoughts, and immediately was on the defense.
A head of blonde hair peaked through "Great you're
awake." the woman that Max had seen here last night stepped through the
doorway. Her chocolate brown leather jacket rustled against her jeans as she
approached the bed "I was gonna grab something in here, but didn't know
if you were one of those gals who'd bitch me out for waking
them up."
she headed over to the corner of the bedroom.
"I usually don't sleep." Max answered back
dropping her legs over the ends of the bed "Did you always come by this
early?"
Asha turned to face her for a second. She caught the
question that
Max was too polite, or rather she assumed to tired too ask.
"It's not
the norm. I was just lyin' in my bed when I thought 'Oh
shit, I need
my stash. So I jetted over here. Logan told me that you were
crashed
out here and made a big deal 'bout not wakin' you, so I've
been drinkin'
coffee for the last thirty minutes." she picked the cardboard
box with her armory
of small hand guns.
"Planning on starting a war?" Max looked over at
her collection of silver plated glocks, and pistols.
Asha smiled "These are just my guys. Unlike most
boys,their aim from the barrel is dead on." she pulled out the chamber of
an old silver six chambered Cobra "This one" she held up the gun in
Max's line of sight "is one of my best. Little old, but shoots better then
a lot of the iron I have."
"I'm glad." Max said randomly.
Asha threw the gun back in with the rest of them "Guess
I'm borin' the
hell out of a Manticore solider by showing weapons she's
probably already used."
/Or had used on me/ Max's eyes were drawn to the chambered
pistol that
was a dead ringer for the one her clone had shot her with.
/Do you know
who I am? BANG! and then nothing../ "Never really used
anything small."
she stood up and picked the pistol "Mostly it was
semi-automatic this
or hyped up magnum that." The metal felt cool in her
hand, finger on the
trigger, one quick snap, that's all it took, for her, for
Zack.
"So.." Asha tried to change the subject, seeing
the recent escapee take a trip
down memory lane "Since I woke Logan up this early, he
decided to busy himself
with making breakfast."
Max smiled to herself /Somethings don't change/ "Guess
we better indulge him then."
she started to walk past the other woman.
"Max." Asha's voice stopped her for a second
"My name's Asha."
"Got it last night." Max said not turning around.
Asha followed her out of the bedroom. She could hear
clattering in the kitchen as Logan moved around, preparing food. "The
gang's been rounded up." Asha pointed out watching Max sit on the end of
the couch arm.
"Great." was all Logan said placing dishes on the
table. He set the food around neatly on the shiny surface. "Max?" he
glanced over at her sitting passively "Gonna join us?"
"Yea I'm commin'" she forced a half smile
"Can't resist your food."
she went for the nearest chair, and cursed a blue streak
under her breath at her body's protests to her actions.
"Something wrong?" Logan asked, concern evident in
his voice.
"Haven't sat in something this soft in a while."
she tried to make a joke out of it. A couple of cracks to the right place and
she was able to slide into the chair, albeit painfully.
Max ate in silence, listening to Asha regale Logan with
things she found out about that vaccine that Max had stolen from the Manticore
labs.
"That's the fastest shit I've ever seen." Asha
commented around a sip of orange juice.
"No place like 'home' for all your needs." Max
spat out shoveling some
eggs into her mouth. Logan had cooked up another flavorful
meal, but it all tasted bland to her. At Manticore, the sludge was only enough
to keep you going and alive. They called it 'endurance training' She had missed
eating ACUTAL food, but now that she had that chance it all tasted like sand.
It was the same place, the same food she had eaten for months before her
capture, but this wasn't the same environment she had left.
"Guess they were good for something." Logan
stated, stealing a glance at her. She was thinner then before, but areas that
use to house only flesh, were now were packed with muscle, Manticore had
hardened her, and in more ways then one, judging by her eyes.
"Comforting thought." Max commented, finishing off
her last bite.
She hastily stood up to chuck her empty plate in the sink.
"She's so tightly wound." Asha whispered to Logan
"Always on full alert."
"That's what a life on the run does for you."
Logan replied back.
After dumping her stuff in the sink, Max sat silently by the
large window.
Thoughts of last night kept coming back to her. She wondered
if Logan had shaken
off that virus completely, wondered if she could ever lay a
hand on him again
without fear of killing him, and as much as she wanted to
deny it, she wondered
what the dealio was between him and Asha. Were they friends?
partners? lovers?
That last idea seemed a little extreme judging by that lip
locking session
she had with the man the day before. But, it was probably
just relief at her
being alive, heat of the moment melodrama.
"Not much to look at?" Asha stared out the same
window.
"Use to be home for me." Max shrugged. She didn't
even know where she belonged
now, her world had changed since that fateful night, now she
felt like a loner.
"He missed you ya know." Asha looked at the other
woman. "Talked about you constantly"
Max faced her "Guess that makes me special."
"Why don't you just admit that you missed him too
girl?" Asha shot back "The tough
ass solider act is old."
Max whirled on her "A lil FYI, I AM a solider, it ain't
no fuckin' act!" she stood
up from her spot on the couch "Just because you shacked
up with Eyes Only don't give
you the damn right to mess with my shit for a life!"
she turned sharply on her heal.
Logan nearly collided with her as he came in the other
direction. "What was that all
about?"
Max didn't voice it, but nearly running into Logan scared
her down to her Manticore
tinkered chromosomes. /I'm not gonna let him die because of
this damn virus running
ramped in my veins./ She by passed him, not making any body
contact. Worried as she
was, she went for the blunt snap back "Bite me!"
she stormed off into his bedroom.
The door slamming rattled the whole apartment. Max flipped
herself angrily on the
bed. /Why did this have to happen? Freedom was so close I
could taste it, and now
I'm totally screwed. I don't belong at Manticore. And I sure
as hell don't belong
here anymore./ She traced the scar again. /If Zack were
here, he'd kick my ass for
giving in to emotions. And I kick his for telling me how to
live my life. But he's
not Maxie, he's gone, because of you./ Her thoughts made her
physically angry, she
kicked the night table, breaking a huge hole in the wood.
Her rampage did not end there, she kicked in the remains of
the table, scattering
chunks of wood and the nightstand's contents across the
floor.
"Max, what the hell-?" Logan came through the
door. He saw all the remains of
his maimed cherry wood night table. And standing near his
bed was an out of breath
Max, her chest heaving from her actions. He started to take
one step towards her.
"Don't!" she ordered, holding up her hand in a
halting gesture.
"Max-" he took another step, and froze dead in his
tracks when she picked up
a gun from Asha's stack and aimed it at him.
"Just stay back." her words were half ordering
half pleading
"Max.." he repeated again "Put the gun
down."
"You don't get it do you Logan?" she retorted with
as much sorrow as venom. "It's
over, whatever we had, it's all shot to hell. Got the
Manticore seal of approval
and everything."
"The virus is gone Max." Logan stated "You
gave me the right stuff."
"But I still have it in me!" she spat back.
"That bitch covered all her bases,
there's no way to get rid of it."
"There's still hope-" Logan argued, trying to calm
her down enough to drop the
gun. He didn't fear for his safety, but for hers, and her
sanity.
"I hate to wake you from your dream world Logan, but
hope doesn't exist in
this reality."
"Hope exists in EVERY reality Max." Logan disputed
gently "If you want it bad
enough."
"You don't think that I do?" Max shot back
"For ten fucking months, I wanted
to get out of that Hell. I sawed through my cell every
fucking night, each
time getting closer to escape. I endured weeks of being
folded like a genetic
cocktail pretzel in a vice crusher, held in water tanks, and
reminded of all
the FUCKING shit I did to my siblings, just so I could come
back here. I had
hope. I wanted to find you." her mood changed from
boiling anger, to a sad
storm of emotions. "To see you again." she laughed
bitterly. "And now that's
all that I can do."
"Drop it!" Asha's voice called out, aiming one of
her sigs at Max.
"I got this one Asha." Logan reassured.
"Sure looks like you do." she shot back.
"All I can do is watch. A damn observer." Max's
voice shook slightly. "I was
more screwed up then I thought I was if I believed things
wouldn't change."
her shaking became evident in her hands. The gun clattered
to the floor. She
caught herself on her hands before she hit the ground.
"Max!" Logan called out, watching her start to
convulse.
Somehow Max managed to clamor to her feet. "Leave me
alone!" she called out
weakly.
Asha pointed her sig down to the ground as she watched Max
shakily move into
the bathroom. "What's wrong with her?"
"She has seizures." Logan informed "She was
one of the prototypes. Manticore
was still perfecting the hybrids in her class, and some of
them had flaws."
"Loop hole in the DNA?" Asha asked.
Logan didn't answer and walked over to his closed bathroom
door. "Max,
you okay in there?" he pounded louder when she didn't
reply "Max!"
"I'm fine." came a barely audible reply. "I'm
completely fucked up, but
I'm fine."
"You need you meds Max, you won't be able to last much
longer." Logan
was worried about what would happen.
"Snagged a few from that bottle under your sink."
she let him know "Guess
you don't throw anything away." she curled into a ball
on his linoleum floor,
drawing her knees to her chest, leaning against the cabinets
under the sink. She
tried to ride out the pain. /Soldiers know no pain
Maxie..but I'm not a solider.
You are now..things aren't what they use to be./
"I know we can beat this thing." Logan reassured.
"Never lie to the revved up solider." Max called
out from beyond the door. She
gasped as another wave of pain launched itself up her spine.
"You still there?" Logan was growing more and more
concerned as the minutes ticked
away. He felt so helpless, just like at that raid on
Manticore. Only now Max was
alive and whole, right through one single bolted locked
door, but he still couldn't
reach her.
"Somewhere under all this mess." she called back,
through gritted teeth. She couldn't
help the longing she had to want him in here, despite it
all, seizures were dark and
horrible to go through alone. "Logan?"
"I'm still here Max." he let her know.
"If I wasn't fucked up with this virus, you'd be in here
right?" she sounded unsure,
like a lost child.
"Yea I would." he stated strongly "Faster
then you can peel down a road on your baby."
Max smiled slightly through her haze. "I wanna touch
you." her voice was unbearably
sad and lonely "I wanna touch you so bad."
Logan felt something tug deep at his gut. He sat down on the
ground, and leaned
up against the door "Me too." he sighed, suddenly
thinking of an idea "Max?"
"Yea?"
"Can you put your hand to the door?"
"Yea why?"
"Don't ask questions. Just do it."
Max slowly raised one sweat soaked hand to the white door.
"What now?"
"Where'd you put it?" Logan asked.
"Under the knob." she answered "Is this going
somewhere?"
Logan didn't respond, but merely placed his hand in the same
place on the
other side of the door. "Not the traditional way of
holding hands, but it
works for me."
Max splayed her hand out on her side "No nasty
infections-" her words broke
off near the end. She smoothed her palm over the slick
surface.
"That's a plus." Logan said softly.
Max leaned her head against the cool door, riding out the
last of her seizure.
She kept that hand positioned right over Logan's on the
opposite side. "God, I
hate this!" she ran her free hand shakily through her
hair. "Damn bitch Renfro."
she bit her lip to keep her emotions at bay "I wanna
hold you, but I can't." a few
tears splashed on the tile floor.
"I want to hold you too Max." Logan whispered,
palming the door. He stole a glance
behind him, noting that Asha was now sitting on the bed,
just looking at him.
Logan's revelation did little to ease Max's suffering,
knowing that he wanted
physical contact as badly as she did just made it hurt more.
Unchecked tears
ran down her face, sliding cold and wet to the linoleum.
/Emotions make you weak
Maxie..weak links can't make up a strong structure./ Despite
her berating solider
side, a sob broke free, then another, strangled cries of
emotion emitting from her
lips, like that of a wounded animal with its underbelly
ripped open, left in a
lonely place to die.
He listened to the desolate sounds coming from his bathroom,
and he couldn't do
anything but sit there, just like Max had said, he was just
a witness to her pain.
"Why don't you just go in there?" Asha suggested.
"Don't you think I don't want that?" Logan snapped
back, not turning around. "It's
killing me to listen to this, but how can I? I am no comfort
to Max if I'm dead."
"You don't know that you'd be dead asshole." Asha
returned with gentle fierceness.
"That shit might have given you immunity."
"And if it didn't? What then?" Logan turned again
to face her.
Asha held up the bottle of the antigen "We have enough
to fix it in case of one
round."
"Fine." Logan shot back, "but the door's
locked on the inside."
"Great deduction Sherlock." Asha sighed standing
up from the bed, and walked over to
him. She pulled out a credit card, a few good gestures and
the door slid open. "You're
out of excuses." She cautiously slid the door open, in
case Max might be behind it.
Logan stepped through the doorway "Max?" What he
saw there made his heart stop.
She was now backed up against his bathtub, curled into
herself, her face wet with
tears, and small tremors still racking her body.
She looked up when he called her name "Please just
leave." her eyes held all the
horror and hell she had recently survived. /Out of one hell,
and into another..
and endless cycle of black./
Unlike last time, he didn't listen, and kneeled next to her,
not touching, but
in close proximity. He looked over at Asha, who was filling
the syringe with enough
of the antigen that was needed. Turning back to face Max, he
gently reached out and
touched her face.
She jerked back, as if she had been burned "Don't. What
the hell are you trying to
do, get yourself killed?"
"Max.." his first touch had no affect, no awful
seizing and pain, just soft cold,
pale skin beneath his hand. He wiped away one tear with his
thumb, and moved closer
to her mouth.
"No, I don't want to hurt you.." she pulled away
from him.
Logan gripped her chin, forcing him to look at her. He
didn't say anything as he
looked into those sorrowful eyes. He leaned in and pressed
his lips to hers.
"Stop.." her voice was muffled by his mouth on
hers. /I can't loose you again,
not like this, not by my own hand./
Logan waited, waited for the pain, the tremors the
blackness, but it never came.
Soft supple lips pressed against his own, dampness on his
face from her tears,
that's all he felt. /It might just be because of the
antigen. Once its gone, I
don't know..but this is enough for now. Death by the kiss of
an angel, wouldn't
be so bad./
After a minute he pulled back to look at her. God, she
looked so scared, afraid
for his life, and what she could've done. He pulled back a
piece of hair from her
face.
Asha moved out of the apartment, snagging her gun box on the
way. One thing for
certain, there was something to be said about living in the
moment. The front door
closed behind her.
"I missed you." Logan touched her hair.
"So did I." she looked at him with tearful eyes.
"I thought..I'd never get to
do this again.." she trailed off into a sob. /Weak link
Maxi…shut the FUCK UP!/
"It's okay we'll figure something out." he hoped
he sounded convincing "Remember
Eyes Only is all powerful."
This forced a tiny smile on her face "there is
that." her eyes glistened in the
light.
He gently kissed her on the forehead and pulled her to his
body, wanting to
take advantage of the opportunity to touch her, however long
it lasted.
Max hugged him fiercely. /God please don't let this be the
last time, please
let me have this./ "Don't let go."
"I won't" Logan reassured, this time he knew he
could offer her this. "I
promise. Even if I can't touch you physically anymore after
this, I'll never
let you go." He leaned back against the bathtub,
holding his fallen angel in
his lap.
OH,
WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL
STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
(FADE
TO BLACK)
*****
I
tried not to have Logan be one hundred percent sure that things would be fixed between
him and Max having physical contact. I know Dark Angel will probably play
around with this. Almost went for the fairy tale thing, but reality got in the
way. Still hoped you liked it…and virtual tissues are being sent to anyone who
needs them.
