For a while... for a while, at first... there had only been terror and fear. She had screamed and ran where she was told to, cowering under the protective arms of her elders. The lands were crumbling, the people were losing face, and the whole planet at the end of its stability. Fleeing deeper into the underground catacombs, she could only feel safe when her only parent was beside her. But then... then her father died. She was fourteen years old, and he died right there in her arms. Then she had felt only sadness, lacked her will to live, cried herself to sleep, and she almost shut herself completely down. Then, one morning, as her entire world was falling down around her, her current guardian, Coran, put his face close to hers, and he said in a low voice, "You are the ruler now. Your people need leadership. What are you going to do?"
It came, at first, as a slap to the face. She? What could she do? She thought of her father. What would her father do? He was the strongest man she knew. How could she be strong like he was? Finally... finally, she pulled herself to her feet. It was hard. By the Goddess, it was maybe the hardest thing she had ever done, and she would never forget her grief. Ever. But she pulled herself to her feet, although slowly, and she held fiercely to her will, never for an instant letting go of her determination. She grew up, at fourteen, and she led her people. So many had been lost, but she gathered the rest, and she organized them, and she watched over their safety, being the strong guide she knew her father would have been.
Some of it was façade at first, mainly to convince herself, and it worked too. And then, as time went by, she realized she wasn't pretending anymore. It was five years later, and she'd realized she'd been playing her role so long that it was no longer just cosmetic. She had become strong, solid and a bit obstinate. She set her goals and worked to fulfill them with steely tenacity. She had pride, she held honor, and above all, she maintained her morale. But her planet was in ruins, and she knew when to ask for help. She couldn't let her people suffer any longer. So she called for help... requesting aid from the Alliance. It wasn't until a year later that she stood, poised in the darkness at the top of the stairs, studying the five young men that were just barely visible in the dim candlelight provided by Coran. They were so young; one... one of them only a small child. These would be Arus's saviors? But as she looked at them, took in the tall, dark solemn one, the wary yet strangely at ease attractive one, the quiet, un-intrusive giant, the timid wide-eyed child, and the incredibly handsome... especially the incredibly handsome dark-haired man in red. All of these men shared a destiny with her; she knew it in her heart. She felt it deep inside her very soul. And something was growing there, a feeling, a hope, an understanding, a love, an assurance... she wasn't sure what. But it was growing and blossoming into something eternal.
Slowly, gracefully, Princess Allura of the Castle of Lions descended the staircase to greet the new champions of Arus. The young man in red looked up, and the princess locked eyes with Commander Keith Feldman for the first time. Something eternal.
***********************************
Were things like this supposed to happen? Was it possible? What was he supposed to do now? Pidge sat on the bottom step of the balcony that led into the royal gardens, trembling, in shock. All of Balto... the entire planet... a whole entire planet gone. A whole civilization, billions of people... gone. His people. His planet. What now? Torant. Nehinn. Brenda. His family. Gone. What now? What happened now? Hadn't this happened before? He knew that it was somewhere inside that dark part of his mind, locked away. But it had happened; they had told him so. Was it some kind of curse that he should keep losing everything he had held dear to his heart? Pidge decided then, as paranoia grew from deep within his gut, that no one else would lose their family or their home as long as he could help it. Arus would not meet that fate. The Arusians would not see that fate.
Then what of the Drules? What of Doom? Should he stoop to their level? Destroy them, their homes? Their families? Before they could do it to Arus or any of the Alliance planets? Did the Drules have families? Pidge clutched his head in his hands. A horrible migraine was pounding, and his brain was in turmoil. No. No. No... for now, there was only one focus. Defend the people that he could, the people that trusted him, the people he cared about. Focus. Control. But his body was shaking. Familiar convulsions and tremors buzzed down his spine. He rather felt like crying, and why shouldn't he? But did a loss of such proportions deserve only as much as crying? He was in bewilderment. No more than two or three tears found their way down his cheeks, so he sat, tremulous and lost until a gentle hand touched his back. When he finally got control of himself, he raised up red-rimmed eyes to see Allura looking down at him in sympathy and concern. She felt deeply for him; he could see. There would always be someone. No matter what...
"You could have a home here." She said softly. Another home? Would his vow to keep it safe deter the curse of losing everything he has the notion of letting into his heart? If he declined now, concentrated only on defending it until safety was permanent, could he accept later? If this war ever ended, he didn't want to end up wandering alone through space. Allura's arm was around him, and he rested his head wearily on her shoulder. "You could have a home here."
**************************************
Sometimes Keith just wondered. He didn't get frustrated; he was too practical and realistic for that. And for those same reasons, he didn't just blow it off... he couldn't just blow it off. So, he settled for absent wondering, daydreaming, and sneaking peaks at old photos in his bureau. Missing. Not dead, not gone, just... missing. That meant that somewhere, out in the massive forever that was the universe, his parents were wandering around. Maybe they were lost, maybe they'd been captured, maybe they really were dead by now, but no one really knew. And after six or seven years, Keith finally gave up letting it torture his nights. With sad consent, he accepted that he might never see them again. And who was he to sit and wallow in his loss, contemplating the ills of his life, when everyone else around him suffered just as much, if not more?
He was sitting in an empty briefing room, enjoying the peace and quiet under alternating aqua and amber colored lights. He was taking his sweet time, having nothing to do for the next three hours, and looking over self-evaluation reports. His feet were propped on the corner of the table, a la Lance, and he'd managed to have someone drag a rotating office chair into room and reclined in it now. An offhand remark in Hunk's report about something reminding him of home had been the culprit of Keith's lost nose grind, and he now had his eyes closed, pondering the life and universal questions that eventually led to his current train of thought, wherein resided the subject of family.
Hunk always talked about how thankful he was to still have his family. But everyone knew about the girl back home. Daisy or Violet or something. He'd tried so hard to convince himself that it wasn't so bad as all that, but it was just as hard by what Keith could tell. Being so far away and unable to see someone you loved with all your heart. It hurt. But Hunk, the man he was, he coped. Pound after cheese Danish and roast chicken pound, he coped. He literally stored his stress and worries away into a man who was not quite as rock hard as he used to be. Those powerful muscles now had a tender padding around them, an extra layer of protection around his heart. He also took comfort in the children of Arus, caring for the homeless ones, cheering the sad ones, and regenerating the war-ravaged ones. Keith noticed the big man's gentle heart with pride, and he knew that Hunk would finally go home and find his loved one, and they would have a happy ending with lots of little Archie Hunting Juniors running around. The man had too much paternal instinct to NOT go and start a big contented family.
Lance, also, seemed to finally come to an understanding with his self-appointed fate as an officer of war. Although he still displayed a passionate reminder that his contempt for Doom was as unshakable as a fish's inability to walk on land, he found satisfaction and gratification in being the adventurous joking playboy he was. He found pride in his flippancy and mild arrogance, and he possessed a good-natured and devil-may-care attitude that was hard to scrape off. He still had his sisters, he'd said, his grandparents, his friends, his good looks and provocative charms, and damned if anything or anyone was going to take any of that away. In a way, it taught Keith a lesson. Never linger on the bad things. Find what's good and work with that. And Keith did have something good to work with. He had a younger sister at home as well, with aunts and uncles and lots of cousins. He went to bed each night and thanked his creator for giving him so much. Now if only the day would come when he could see them all again.
That thought sent a tinge of quilt through him as he thought of Pidge, who would never see his family, or his home, ever again. And in the files there was report that the biological family had suffered an almost identical fate to that of the foster family's. A gruesome and violent end at the hand of Doom. What did a thing like that do to the equanimity of one so young? But Pidge somehow managed to hold on to his resilience, seemed to cope and move on to the next obstacle. Keith took it as an adaptation to war. Everyone seemed to assimilate the same trait: an ever so small, beyond microscopic to the soul, tiny hardening of the heart. Just enough to help deal with things that an otherwise normal person, without the burden of war, would have to deal with. Keith worried though, once in a while, that Pidge didn't grieve enough. The destruction of Balto was already a year and a half past, and still the thought of it sent small tremors of sadness through everyone's heart. Sure, he didn't expect the kid to lose all sense of self-consciousness and sanity and eventually have to be sent back to Earth on a code eight... he just didn't expect him to deal with it like... like someone twice his age. And Keith reminded himself once again that Pidge wasn't an ordinary kid. He was probably smarter than the whole team put together sometimes.
Plus... he had Allura. Immediately, Keith's eyes opened in a rush of pride and love and everything in between as he thought of the young woman. She stunned Keith; she moved him. She had so much of her own loss, the challenge of gaining strength of heart, not to mention the everyday demand that she be a focused and ethical leader to an entire planet. And yet she managed to find the time to offer a home, love, and even part of her life to one orphaned boy, giving him the best resemblance of a family she could summon. She had made Pidge an honorary citizen of Arus, made a point of spending time with him, and in doing so, she had managed to astound Keith and endear herself to him.
Allura... He had thought the princess was absolutely perfect when he first met her, and way beyond his reach. Then, before he knew it, she had quickly earned his trust and... dare he admit it... his love. It was mutual, at first, just a comradeship. She was still too perfect and just out of reach, being a princess, and as stately as she was. But as time drew slowly out into a year, then two, and now three, the close relationship of a team and getting to know her on such a personal level only made the feeling inside of him grow. He cared about her more and more. Not even when she became less of a goddess and more of an actual human being, did he feel a single niggling of a doubt, in any way shape or form, that he loved her. He loved... Keith smiled broadly and almost laughed out loud... he loved that she sometimes snored when she fell asleep in public, much to Nanny's chagrin. She even drooled a little. He loved that too many greasy foods could give her gas, very un-princess-like, and even more to Nanny's dismay. He especially loved that she could let down her regal countenance and play in the dirt with the boys now and then, develop an awful sweat like the rest of them, and simply be rough and rowdy and have fun. THAT would be the near fatal end to all of Nanny's rhyme and reason yet. But it meant a lot to the team, and it meant a lot to Allura too.
Hunk was her confidant. Allura could go to him with any kind of problem, and he played the dutiful older brother and gave her advice, a shoulder to cry on, and basically any and all the support she needed. Lance was her partner in crime. He showed her how to have a good time, usually behind Nanny's back but not without the supervision of the other boys. He helped her to release a little and do things young women her age ought to do, like go dancing or have that extra glass of wine, or even sneak out at night to join late village festivities. He always made sure to look out for her, though, and he never let rowdy young men get too close, being yet another protective older brother in all aspects. Pidge somehow got sucked into being her pet project, subjected to lessons from Nanny in etiquette, grace, and ultimately all things a child growing up in the castle would learn. Nanny was in her element, to say the least. And for Allura, in Keith's opinion, playing a big part in Pidge's upbringing conveyed two things. It was the adoption of a family member to fill in the void left by the loss of her parents... and it was a subconscious surrogate until the day she brought up her own children...
Her own children?! Keith let his feet fall from the table and slam noisily onto the floor, a look of horrified anger flickering across his face. Thoughts of Allura's children, and specifically who the father of those children would be, definitely belonged to a bridge Keith had no intention of getting anywhere near just yet. With a loud clearing of the throat, Keith suddenly found the focus in reading self-evaluation reports absolutely crucial.
He wasn't too worried though... in fact, he was fairly certain... well, in a way, she HAD told him that... Keith gave a giddy little grin.
It came, at first, as a slap to the face. She? What could she do? She thought of her father. What would her father do? He was the strongest man she knew. How could she be strong like he was? Finally... finally, she pulled herself to her feet. It was hard. By the Goddess, it was maybe the hardest thing she had ever done, and she would never forget her grief. Ever. But she pulled herself to her feet, although slowly, and she held fiercely to her will, never for an instant letting go of her determination. She grew up, at fourteen, and she led her people. So many had been lost, but she gathered the rest, and she organized them, and she watched over their safety, being the strong guide she knew her father would have been.
Some of it was façade at first, mainly to convince herself, and it worked too. And then, as time went by, she realized she wasn't pretending anymore. It was five years later, and she'd realized she'd been playing her role so long that it was no longer just cosmetic. She had become strong, solid and a bit obstinate. She set her goals and worked to fulfill them with steely tenacity. She had pride, she held honor, and above all, she maintained her morale. But her planet was in ruins, and she knew when to ask for help. She couldn't let her people suffer any longer. So she called for help... requesting aid from the Alliance. It wasn't until a year later that she stood, poised in the darkness at the top of the stairs, studying the five young men that were just barely visible in the dim candlelight provided by Coran. They were so young; one... one of them only a small child. These would be Arus's saviors? But as she looked at them, took in the tall, dark solemn one, the wary yet strangely at ease attractive one, the quiet, un-intrusive giant, the timid wide-eyed child, and the incredibly handsome... especially the incredibly handsome dark-haired man in red. All of these men shared a destiny with her; she knew it in her heart. She felt it deep inside her very soul. And something was growing there, a feeling, a hope, an understanding, a love, an assurance... she wasn't sure what. But it was growing and blossoming into something eternal.
Slowly, gracefully, Princess Allura of the Castle of Lions descended the staircase to greet the new champions of Arus. The young man in red looked up, and the princess locked eyes with Commander Keith Feldman for the first time. Something eternal.
***********************************
Were things like this supposed to happen? Was it possible? What was he supposed to do now? Pidge sat on the bottom step of the balcony that led into the royal gardens, trembling, in shock. All of Balto... the entire planet... a whole entire planet gone. A whole civilization, billions of people... gone. His people. His planet. What now? Torant. Nehinn. Brenda. His family. Gone. What now? What happened now? Hadn't this happened before? He knew that it was somewhere inside that dark part of his mind, locked away. But it had happened; they had told him so. Was it some kind of curse that he should keep losing everything he had held dear to his heart? Pidge decided then, as paranoia grew from deep within his gut, that no one else would lose their family or their home as long as he could help it. Arus would not meet that fate. The Arusians would not see that fate.
Then what of the Drules? What of Doom? Should he stoop to their level? Destroy them, their homes? Their families? Before they could do it to Arus or any of the Alliance planets? Did the Drules have families? Pidge clutched his head in his hands. A horrible migraine was pounding, and his brain was in turmoil. No. No. No... for now, there was only one focus. Defend the people that he could, the people that trusted him, the people he cared about. Focus. Control. But his body was shaking. Familiar convulsions and tremors buzzed down his spine. He rather felt like crying, and why shouldn't he? But did a loss of such proportions deserve only as much as crying? He was in bewilderment. No more than two or three tears found their way down his cheeks, so he sat, tremulous and lost until a gentle hand touched his back. When he finally got control of himself, he raised up red-rimmed eyes to see Allura looking down at him in sympathy and concern. She felt deeply for him; he could see. There would always be someone. No matter what...
"You could have a home here." She said softly. Another home? Would his vow to keep it safe deter the curse of losing everything he has the notion of letting into his heart? If he declined now, concentrated only on defending it until safety was permanent, could he accept later? If this war ever ended, he didn't want to end up wandering alone through space. Allura's arm was around him, and he rested his head wearily on her shoulder. "You could have a home here."
**************************************
Sometimes Keith just wondered. He didn't get frustrated; he was too practical and realistic for that. And for those same reasons, he didn't just blow it off... he couldn't just blow it off. So, he settled for absent wondering, daydreaming, and sneaking peaks at old photos in his bureau. Missing. Not dead, not gone, just... missing. That meant that somewhere, out in the massive forever that was the universe, his parents were wandering around. Maybe they were lost, maybe they'd been captured, maybe they really were dead by now, but no one really knew. And after six or seven years, Keith finally gave up letting it torture his nights. With sad consent, he accepted that he might never see them again. And who was he to sit and wallow in his loss, contemplating the ills of his life, when everyone else around him suffered just as much, if not more?
He was sitting in an empty briefing room, enjoying the peace and quiet under alternating aqua and amber colored lights. He was taking his sweet time, having nothing to do for the next three hours, and looking over self-evaluation reports. His feet were propped on the corner of the table, a la Lance, and he'd managed to have someone drag a rotating office chair into room and reclined in it now. An offhand remark in Hunk's report about something reminding him of home had been the culprit of Keith's lost nose grind, and he now had his eyes closed, pondering the life and universal questions that eventually led to his current train of thought, wherein resided the subject of family.
Hunk always talked about how thankful he was to still have his family. But everyone knew about the girl back home. Daisy or Violet or something. He'd tried so hard to convince himself that it wasn't so bad as all that, but it was just as hard by what Keith could tell. Being so far away and unable to see someone you loved with all your heart. It hurt. But Hunk, the man he was, he coped. Pound after cheese Danish and roast chicken pound, he coped. He literally stored his stress and worries away into a man who was not quite as rock hard as he used to be. Those powerful muscles now had a tender padding around them, an extra layer of protection around his heart. He also took comfort in the children of Arus, caring for the homeless ones, cheering the sad ones, and regenerating the war-ravaged ones. Keith noticed the big man's gentle heart with pride, and he knew that Hunk would finally go home and find his loved one, and they would have a happy ending with lots of little Archie Hunting Juniors running around. The man had too much paternal instinct to NOT go and start a big contented family.
Lance, also, seemed to finally come to an understanding with his self-appointed fate as an officer of war. Although he still displayed a passionate reminder that his contempt for Doom was as unshakable as a fish's inability to walk on land, he found satisfaction and gratification in being the adventurous joking playboy he was. He found pride in his flippancy and mild arrogance, and he possessed a good-natured and devil-may-care attitude that was hard to scrape off. He still had his sisters, he'd said, his grandparents, his friends, his good looks and provocative charms, and damned if anything or anyone was going to take any of that away. In a way, it taught Keith a lesson. Never linger on the bad things. Find what's good and work with that. And Keith did have something good to work with. He had a younger sister at home as well, with aunts and uncles and lots of cousins. He went to bed each night and thanked his creator for giving him so much. Now if only the day would come when he could see them all again.
That thought sent a tinge of quilt through him as he thought of Pidge, who would never see his family, or his home, ever again. And in the files there was report that the biological family had suffered an almost identical fate to that of the foster family's. A gruesome and violent end at the hand of Doom. What did a thing like that do to the equanimity of one so young? But Pidge somehow managed to hold on to his resilience, seemed to cope and move on to the next obstacle. Keith took it as an adaptation to war. Everyone seemed to assimilate the same trait: an ever so small, beyond microscopic to the soul, tiny hardening of the heart. Just enough to help deal with things that an otherwise normal person, without the burden of war, would have to deal with. Keith worried though, once in a while, that Pidge didn't grieve enough. The destruction of Balto was already a year and a half past, and still the thought of it sent small tremors of sadness through everyone's heart. Sure, he didn't expect the kid to lose all sense of self-consciousness and sanity and eventually have to be sent back to Earth on a code eight... he just didn't expect him to deal with it like... like someone twice his age. And Keith reminded himself once again that Pidge wasn't an ordinary kid. He was probably smarter than the whole team put together sometimes.
Plus... he had Allura. Immediately, Keith's eyes opened in a rush of pride and love and everything in between as he thought of the young woman. She stunned Keith; she moved him. She had so much of her own loss, the challenge of gaining strength of heart, not to mention the everyday demand that she be a focused and ethical leader to an entire planet. And yet she managed to find the time to offer a home, love, and even part of her life to one orphaned boy, giving him the best resemblance of a family she could summon. She had made Pidge an honorary citizen of Arus, made a point of spending time with him, and in doing so, she had managed to astound Keith and endear herself to him.
Allura... He had thought the princess was absolutely perfect when he first met her, and way beyond his reach. Then, before he knew it, she had quickly earned his trust and... dare he admit it... his love. It was mutual, at first, just a comradeship. She was still too perfect and just out of reach, being a princess, and as stately as she was. But as time drew slowly out into a year, then two, and now three, the close relationship of a team and getting to know her on such a personal level only made the feeling inside of him grow. He cared about her more and more. Not even when she became less of a goddess and more of an actual human being, did he feel a single niggling of a doubt, in any way shape or form, that he loved her. He loved... Keith smiled broadly and almost laughed out loud... he loved that she sometimes snored when she fell asleep in public, much to Nanny's chagrin. She even drooled a little. He loved that too many greasy foods could give her gas, very un-princess-like, and even more to Nanny's dismay. He especially loved that she could let down her regal countenance and play in the dirt with the boys now and then, develop an awful sweat like the rest of them, and simply be rough and rowdy and have fun. THAT would be the near fatal end to all of Nanny's rhyme and reason yet. But it meant a lot to the team, and it meant a lot to Allura too.
Hunk was her confidant. Allura could go to him with any kind of problem, and he played the dutiful older brother and gave her advice, a shoulder to cry on, and basically any and all the support she needed. Lance was her partner in crime. He showed her how to have a good time, usually behind Nanny's back but not without the supervision of the other boys. He helped her to release a little and do things young women her age ought to do, like go dancing or have that extra glass of wine, or even sneak out at night to join late village festivities. He always made sure to look out for her, though, and he never let rowdy young men get too close, being yet another protective older brother in all aspects. Pidge somehow got sucked into being her pet project, subjected to lessons from Nanny in etiquette, grace, and ultimately all things a child growing up in the castle would learn. Nanny was in her element, to say the least. And for Allura, in Keith's opinion, playing a big part in Pidge's upbringing conveyed two things. It was the adoption of a family member to fill in the void left by the loss of her parents... and it was a subconscious surrogate until the day she brought up her own children...
Her own children?! Keith let his feet fall from the table and slam noisily onto the floor, a look of horrified anger flickering across his face. Thoughts of Allura's children, and specifically who the father of those children would be, definitely belonged to a bridge Keith had no intention of getting anywhere near just yet. With a loud clearing of the throat, Keith suddenly found the focus in reading self-evaluation reports absolutely crucial.
He wasn't too worried though... in fact, he was fairly certain... well, in a way, she HAD told him that... Keith gave a giddy little grin.