Kentucky Fried Nerima
A Multi-SI Ranma Fic
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Prologue
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By: Master Jahaj
Deappt X
Shades
Disclaimer:
I don't own any of Takahashi's characters. I'm only using
them because I'm too impatient to make my own
manga/anime series.
* * *
Life among the gods had become calm as of late. No longer
were they troubled by the great chaotic factors that had
caused man to fear for his life over a simple change of the
calendar year. No, life had come to a halt to which one
could relax and take in the simple pleasures of immortal
existence.
This only fueled the flames of Chaos's anger.
It was not the fact that life had become too dull and
mundane, for that he was occasionally grateful for. No, it
was the fact that the greatest chaos in centuries, the very
thing that he had spent nearly a millennium on had come to
a screeching stop in less than a year. The great chaos
known, as Y2K had been his best long-term project because
of mans advances in technology and war had been halted
far too quickly for his tastes.
Not only had he failed to have as much fun as he wanted
during the reign of chaos, the after effects left him with
nothing to do. In short, Chaos was angry and bored.
Not only was he bored, but also without the power from his
usual worshipers, he didn't have the strength to do any of
his normal distractions. To sum it up, Chaos was bored,
angry, and tired.
"Hey Chaos." a female voice startled him. Chaos turned to
see his partner in crime, Disorder. He watched her feline
form walk up to him and sighed.
"Hey Disorder, anything new?"
"No," she plopped down beside him. "Nothing' ever
happens after the turn of the millennium."
"True, true."
"WHAZUUUUUP!" A random pixie blurted out. The two
felines merely stared at it with looks that said 'That was
pathetic' before swatting it like fly.
"I'll never understand those damned things," Chaos said
receiving a nod from his companion. After a long silence,
Chaos sighed, "I'm bored."
Disorder merely looked at him with a blank expression.
"And when has that been a problem with all those realities
Toltiir made with the infamous Bet?"
"Yeah, well. Those things can only entertain you for so
long."
"I know, why don't we just send some random mortal into
another plane?"
Chaos started to chuckle, then laugh, and finally was
rolling around on the floor convulsing with laughter while
Disorder sweat dropped.
"Th- that's only *chuckle* been done *snicker* more times
than THE BET!" Chaos glared. "I mean how MANY times
have we taken some DEADBEAT LOOSER and thrown
them in a reality where they SOLVE ALL THE
PROBLEMS or become some HOT SHOT that thinks
they're a GOD!?!"
By this point, Disorder was cringing back in fear with her
eyes wide enough to fit a large pizza in and still be able to
see around it. Let us note that an angry Chaos is a
dangerous Chaos, even to the Gods.
"Well, why stop at one?" she meekly suggested.
Chaos stopped and blinked. Turing is head to one side he
blinked again. Then slowly, a menacing smile started to
form on his lips.
"Well, now. _That_ could be.... interesting"
* * *
Mike growled at the computer screen. After nearly ten
hours of work and countless revisions, his masterpiece of
scientific knowledge was finished and ready to be
presented to his professor for a well-deserved 'A'. Too bad
it was four pages too short. Mike growled again.
"I give up." He stated with a tired head-smack onto the
desk. "Seven hours till it's due and I'm only halfway there.
I'll never get it done." He was brought out of his rut of self-
pity by the impact of a box of Cracker Jacks to the head.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS _THAT_ FOR?!?" He bellowed at his roommate.
"Man, if you were any more depressed I'd think you'd try
and kill yourself over that damned thing," Roush replied,
shaking his head in mock disgust.
"Well, excuuuuse me if I have a teacher that decides to
have us write an eight-page paper on how our favorite TV
show is destroying the _planet_ over the weekend!"
Roush responded only by calmly flipping to the next page
of the book he was reading and resumed reading. Mike let
out a growl of frustration and slammed his head back onto
the desk. After a few minutes of silence, Roush resumed his
conversation.
"You know, Daniel just got in the last EVA tape."
"Yeah, so?"
Roush dropped his book and grabbed Mike by the arm.
"So, that means we're going to go to his dorm and watch
it."
At that moment, Mike decided to give up for a while. 'Who
knows,' he thought, 'maybe I can get some inspiration.'
* * *
"Oh come on! At least start it in a different place!" Chaos
argued. While it wasn't unusual to find Chaos arguing with
people (hey it brought out his true nature) it was unusual to
see him arguing about wrecking his _favorite_ reality.
Currently, he and Disorder had a disagreement about
_when_ they should throw the unsuspecting fools, I mean
people, into the time stream. "Everyone starts _there_.
Can't you be even a _little_ unique?"
"Well, how's this for unique."
A screen popped up with somewhat random ancient runes
scrolling across it.
"Ok, I have to admit, that is fairly different."
"And the people? Who are we going to get?"
Chaos looked around at all the pathetic losers on the planet
and finally gave up and pointed at a random group.
"Them."
* * *
"That's it?" Mike stared at the screen showing the credits to
End of EVA. "All that and he kills her?"
"Talk about a let down." Daniel began rewinding the tape.
"I thought they'd do _something_ better."
"Well, I thought it was pretty good except for that." Roush
chimed in.
"Yeah, Shinji is sitting there saying 'I just killed everyone
on the planet...except HER! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!' I
mean, I could come up with a better ending to _any_ show
than that!"
"Care to try?" a voice behind them asked. The trio of otaku
turned around to face a pair of Gods, Chaos and Disorder.
"AAAAAAARGH!" was the general consensus between
them as they tried, vainly, to get away. For a moment, let us
take a look at the forms both Gods have chosen to reveal
themselves. Both were three and a half foot tall cat, but that
isn't what scared anyone. What scared them was the fact
that Chaos looked like an exact replica of the Cheshire cat
out of American McGee's Alice. A light gray coat of fur
covered an enormous head with equally large pointy teeth,
a thin, almost frail, body, and paws that were the size of a
man's head. Disorder, on the other hand, looked like a
_very_ large tabby but made out of every piece of material
that a fabric store couldn't sell. Which one looked scarier,
the gothic-type feline or the patchwork kitty? Who cares,
they both give me the willies.
"Don't you think your lives are a little...dull?" Chaos asked.
"You want to try something _really_ exciting?" Disorder
continued.
"Will it get me out of my paper?" Mike asked, not wanting
to finish it and wanting something to do.
Chaos smiled. 'Sucker,' he thought. "Maybe..."
"Count me in!"
"You can't be serious!" Roush exclaimed.
"A giant talking cat just asked us to have fun and get out of
class and you think I'm _not_ going to take it?" Mike
retorted.
Roush and Daniel looked at each other. "Well, when you
put it that way...I'm in." "Me too."
"Excellent." Chaos smiled. "Here we go!" and with a flash
of light and a loud *PING*, the three mortals and two gods
disappeared.
* * *