PART II
O'okawahara Shigeru was bored.
Oh, it wasn't like she didn't have plenty to do, of course. Unlike some other people she knew, she actually bothered with her homework - and if that failed she could always call up Sakurako and they could go shopping (again) - but come on now. There had to be something more exciting going on in the world, especially considering what she'd seen the last time she'd been on a shopping expedition. But there was no word from the Eitoku side of things... not a single communication. Had there really been no aftermath from all of that madness? Or... on the other hand...
Shigeru gulped and grabbed the phone. Damn it, it was just like Sakurako to clam up if something really big had happened. She grabbed her phone and dialed.
"Tsukushi's not picking up..."
Another six numbers, and then...
::click::
"No, never mind that. If something big's going on Sakurako will be a mess." She rolled over on her bed and whined. "Argh! What's going ON? Got to think. Who can I call who won't flip out? I have to think of someone calm..."
She grabbed the phone again almost immediately.
"Hanazawa."
"Did I wake you up?"
"Who is this?"
"Oh, come on. You don't recognize my voice? I'm hurt. It's O'okawahara."
"Oh."
A looooong silence.
"Well, he doesn't flip out, at least..." Shigeru muttered as Rui yawned on the other end. "Look," she said louder, "what's been going on there? I haven't heard from anybody for days."
"Going on?"
...What is this guy smoking!?... "With Tsukushi, of course! I saw that baseball game!"
"Oh, Makino," he said, seeming to wake up a little. "She went to New York."
This threw Shigeru for a loop. "With Tsukasa?"
"On her own."
"On her..." Shigeru started to echo. Then the implications of those words caught up with her. Her jaw fell open and air rushed into her lungs. She forgot to breathe for a full minute. That meant Tsukasa was... Tsukasa was...
Then her eyes crossed with annoyance as she started to hear the distinct sound of snoring on the other end.
"WAKE UP!!"
She swore she could hear him rub his eyes on the other end. Unbelievable.
Rui had to hold the phone a foot away from his ear to stand the force of Shigeru's shouts. Her voice, garbled slightly by the phone line, resonated through the room. "You let her go to New York? ALONE? Are you guys out of your minds? You think Tsukushi will be able to survive there, much less find Tsukasa? Aren't you even the slightest bit worried?"
He waited until she had finished shouting and was panting for breath before he dared start to reply. "Makino's..."
"I can't BELIEVE you!!" the screech came again, like an aftershock, and Rui dropped the phone.
"Um," he said quickly, trying to get a word in edgewise before this crazy woman started up again. "Listen?"
"I'm _listening_," the voice said flatly. Rui rolled his eyes. Sure she was. Crazy, crazy, woman.
"Makino went on her own," he said. "It's none of our business. We haven't got a reason to get involved in her fight."
"You haven't got a reason? What are you talking about?"
"What I mean is," Rui sighed, slumping down onto his futon, "She didn't ask us to help, and we couldn't do her any good by going along anyway."
Shigeru balked. "What do you mean? You can't think Tsukushi will manage this on her own."
Despite his annoyance, Rui had to grin. "Sure she will," he said. "This is Makino, after all."
"So Tsukushi's gone to America to get Tsukasa, hmm..."
Shigeru lay on her back, addressing the ceiling. "That doesn't help. I'm STILL bored. And I'm still not sure she'll pull it off by herself." She sighed resolutely and closed her eyes.
Then, all at once, a wicked smile crossed Shigeru's face. She bounced up and stretched out her legs and arms. "Well..... I haven't been to New York in a long time anyway...!" With renewed energy, Shigeru opened her closet door and dragged out a suitcase.
"Will you take that away from him...?"
Tsukushi huddled, alone and tired, in a coffee shop somewhere in Greenwich Village. The smoke was thick in her eyes, but with the weight she felt now, it hardly made a difference. She sighed heavily.
What was she going to do now?
It wasn't that she had let the witch win. But for once, she'd had a point. Wasn't it selfish of her to assume that Tsukasa wanted to be with her more than anything else? Shouldn't she allow him the chance to spread his own wings, to become somebody with a purpose and a place in life independent from her?
After all, that's what she had wanted when he was chasing her.
It was odd - though she'd cried in front of Kaede, she didn't feel mortified at all. Before, she would have considered it more humiliation than she chould stand. But none of that seemed to matter anymore. Because she was standing in the way of his happiness.
"Poor Makino-san," Kaede had said when the tears first started to flow. "Despite all you've done, I pity you. Did you ever consider how hard this would be for you?
"If you think it was cruel of me to scrutinize you as I did, think about the entire business community doing the same. Rival companies would repeatedly attack you and your family. Every social engagement you attend, you will attend knowing that the slightest faux pas would be a blow to Tsukasa-san's reputation, and thus to his very livelihood. Do you truly wish to subject yourself to that? Knowing that no matter how much you care, and how proud you are, you cannot help but be a burden to him?"
Each word stung like a slap in the face. Tsukushi had finally turned and run from the room, unable to choke back the flood of sobs that had wracked her body. She'd told herself that she wouldn't give in to the weakness in her own heart, but how could she fight this new logic she'd never even thought of before? How could she fight that smiling face on the screen?
She thought about another time. Under the light of a blindingly full moon, with the sound of the waves billowing under the salt water taste of her own sobs, she and Hanazawa Rui had been caught by a stony-faced Tsukasa. All the surprisingly sweet kindness he'd shown her in those days had crumbled to ashes, and his smiles, those smiles she hadn't realized how much she treasured, slid off his face like paper, like water. Leaving him devoid of expression. And no matter how great the hopeless, desperate feeling had been that had driven her into Rui's arms that night, it was at seeing that blank face that Tsukushi had broken down, cried harder than she thought possible.
And then, worse, even worse (how could anything be worse), there was the night she had left him standing there in the rain. She still remembered the image that had haunted her dreams thereafter: his eyes wide as the moon, a word of protest dying mutely on his lips, the rain coursing down his face and taking his smiles with it, smiles draining away into the gutter and leaving him expressionless. Paralyzed. And her tears that night had put the pouring rain to shame.
How could she erase that smile from his face again?
"Doumyouji..." she thought sadly. "In the end, no matter how much we love each other, am I nothing but a burden to you?"
O'okawahara Shigeru was bored.
Oh, it wasn't like she didn't have plenty to do, of course. Unlike some other people she knew, she actually bothered with her homework - and if that failed she could always call up Sakurako and they could go shopping (again) - but come on now. There had to be something more exciting going on in the world, especially considering what she'd seen the last time she'd been on a shopping expedition. But there was no word from the Eitoku side of things... not a single communication. Had there really been no aftermath from all of that madness? Or... on the other hand...
Shigeru gulped and grabbed the phone. Damn it, it was just like Sakurako to clam up if something really big had happened. She grabbed her phone and dialed.
"Tsukushi's not picking up..."
Another six numbers, and then...
::click::
"No, never mind that. If something big's going on Sakurako will be a mess." She rolled over on her bed and whined. "Argh! What's going ON? Got to think. Who can I call who won't flip out? I have to think of someone calm..."
She grabbed the phone again almost immediately.
"Hanazawa."
"Did I wake you up?"
"Who is this?"
"Oh, come on. You don't recognize my voice? I'm hurt. It's O'okawahara."
"Oh."
A looooong silence.
"Well, he doesn't flip out, at least..." Shigeru muttered as Rui yawned on the other end. "Look," she said louder, "what's been going on there? I haven't heard from anybody for days."
"Going on?"
...What is this guy smoking!?... "With Tsukushi, of course! I saw that baseball game!"
"Oh, Makino," he said, seeming to wake up a little. "She went to New York."
This threw Shigeru for a loop. "With Tsukasa?"
"On her own."
"On her..." Shigeru started to echo. Then the implications of those words caught up with her. Her jaw fell open and air rushed into her lungs. She forgot to breathe for a full minute. That meant Tsukasa was... Tsukasa was...
Then her eyes crossed with annoyance as she started to hear the distinct sound of snoring on the other end.
"WAKE UP!!"
She swore she could hear him rub his eyes on the other end. Unbelievable.
Rui had to hold the phone a foot away from his ear to stand the force of Shigeru's shouts. Her voice, garbled slightly by the phone line, resonated through the room. "You let her go to New York? ALONE? Are you guys out of your minds? You think Tsukushi will be able to survive there, much less find Tsukasa? Aren't you even the slightest bit worried?"
He waited until she had finished shouting and was panting for breath before he dared start to reply. "Makino's..."
"I can't BELIEVE you!!" the screech came again, like an aftershock, and Rui dropped the phone.
"Um," he said quickly, trying to get a word in edgewise before this crazy woman started up again. "Listen?"
"I'm _listening_," the voice said flatly. Rui rolled his eyes. Sure she was. Crazy, crazy, woman.
"Makino went on her own," he said. "It's none of our business. We haven't got a reason to get involved in her fight."
"You haven't got a reason? What are you talking about?"
"What I mean is," Rui sighed, slumping down onto his futon, "She didn't ask us to help, and we couldn't do her any good by going along anyway."
Shigeru balked. "What do you mean? You can't think Tsukushi will manage this on her own."
Despite his annoyance, Rui had to grin. "Sure she will," he said. "This is Makino, after all."
"So Tsukushi's gone to America to get Tsukasa, hmm..."
Shigeru lay on her back, addressing the ceiling. "That doesn't help. I'm STILL bored. And I'm still not sure she'll pull it off by herself." She sighed resolutely and closed her eyes.
Then, all at once, a wicked smile crossed Shigeru's face. She bounced up and stretched out her legs and arms. "Well..... I haven't been to New York in a long time anyway...!" With renewed energy, Shigeru opened her closet door and dragged out a suitcase.
"Will you take that away from him...?"
Tsukushi huddled, alone and tired, in a coffee shop somewhere in Greenwich Village. The smoke was thick in her eyes, but with the weight she felt now, it hardly made a difference. She sighed heavily.
What was she going to do now?
It wasn't that she had let the witch win. But for once, she'd had a point. Wasn't it selfish of her to assume that Tsukasa wanted to be with her more than anything else? Shouldn't she allow him the chance to spread his own wings, to become somebody with a purpose and a place in life independent from her?
After all, that's what she had wanted when he was chasing her.
It was odd - though she'd cried in front of Kaede, she didn't feel mortified at all. Before, she would have considered it more humiliation than she chould stand. But none of that seemed to matter anymore. Because she was standing in the way of his happiness.
"Poor Makino-san," Kaede had said when the tears first started to flow. "Despite all you've done, I pity you. Did you ever consider how hard this would be for you?
"If you think it was cruel of me to scrutinize you as I did, think about the entire business community doing the same. Rival companies would repeatedly attack you and your family. Every social engagement you attend, you will attend knowing that the slightest faux pas would be a blow to Tsukasa-san's reputation, and thus to his very livelihood. Do you truly wish to subject yourself to that? Knowing that no matter how much you care, and how proud you are, you cannot help but be a burden to him?"
Each word stung like a slap in the face. Tsukushi had finally turned and run from the room, unable to choke back the flood of sobs that had wracked her body. She'd told herself that she wouldn't give in to the weakness in her own heart, but how could she fight this new logic she'd never even thought of before? How could she fight that smiling face on the screen?
She thought about another time. Under the light of a blindingly full moon, with the sound of the waves billowing under the salt water taste of her own sobs, she and Hanazawa Rui had been caught by a stony-faced Tsukasa. All the surprisingly sweet kindness he'd shown her in those days had crumbled to ashes, and his smiles, those smiles she hadn't realized how much she treasured, slid off his face like paper, like water. Leaving him devoid of expression. And no matter how great the hopeless, desperate feeling had been that had driven her into Rui's arms that night, it was at seeing that blank face that Tsukushi had broken down, cried harder than she thought possible.
And then, worse, even worse (how could anything be worse), there was the night she had left him standing there in the rain. She still remembered the image that had haunted her dreams thereafter: his eyes wide as the moon, a word of protest dying mutely on his lips, the rain coursing down his face and taking his smiles with it, smiles draining away into the gutter and leaving him expressionless. Paralyzed. And her tears that night had put the pouring rain to shame.
How could she erase that smile from his face again?
"Doumyouji..." she thought sadly. "In the end, no matter how much we love each other, am I nothing but a burden to you?"