The Underground
MiSt By: Aquaian Goddess

~WE ARE ALIVE!~

^You never died, AG.^

~Oh yeah. A new source for scripts, just waiting to be tapped and drained....uhh~

^You scare me sometimes.^

~Only sometimes?~

^::Grumbles something obsene and continues:: Thought-speech with be represented with *s and all things in '~These~' are AG's comments, and the stuff in '^These^' is me, the muse Marco, from the Animorphs. THE BOOK SERIES!^

~Warning: Some joke are VERY perverted or offensive.~

^::Sighs:: The Animorphs TV show doesn't belong to AG^

~::mutters:: Thank God.~

^So don't sue us, we have nothing. We don't care if you hate the story, so all flames will be laughed at by us.^

AG: You sound like Morla the Turtle from "the Neverending Story."

Marco: Cool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MARCO Voice Over: ::walking down street:: My Name is Marco. ~^Hi Marco!^~ I'd give anything to be on the other side again, ^He joined the Dark Side of the force?^ just a normal kid in a regular world. ^Umm...you were never normal to begin with.^ ~Makes it hard to return to normailty, doesn't it?~ But then I remember that the world isn't regular anymore. And I remember that at any minute a controller could be sneaking up on me. About to shove a slimy slug in my ear.

~Slugs are very scary compost makers, they are.~

TOM: ::walking up to MARCO at JAKE'S house door:: Looking for Jake?

^Yes, I'm looking for my lover, you moron! You think I'd be here to see you?!^

~That's not what you said last night.~

^::Blinks:: O.O^

MARCO: Oh, hey Tom. Yeah, is he upstairs?

~Rrrowr.~

^Marco: Stop that.^

~::laughs::~

TOM: I don't know. Just got here.

MARCO: ::nodding:: Right.

~Of course we believe YOU.~

TOM: ::Opens door for MARCO::

~Such chivalry.~

^I thought chivalry was dead.^

MARCO: ::walks into JAKE'S room. ~KINKY!~ ^SHUT UP WITH THAT!^ EVERYBODY is there already. ~^Oh my.^~::

TOBIAS: ::on JAKE'S bed with Homer::

~So Tobias is sleeping with Homer?~

^I thought interspeices relations were banned!^

~Oh yeah, I spoke to Ax last night, Homer. He said stop cheating on him with his nephew.~

RACHEL: ::off camera:: I know, I did not do well.

~Disembodied voice number 1!~

^::as TV Tobias:: Got that right. Homer, you're the only one that can.^

MARCO: Hey, Dude. We've got to stop meeting like this.

^::twitches, then Screams and hides behind AG::^

~Shhhh, it's okay Marco, don't let the ugly guy scare you.~

RACHEL: ::turning around to face computer:: We always hung out before, it'd be a bigger bust if we suddenly stopped.

~He didn't say STOP, Brookie, he said "like this" meaning, MEET SOMEWHERE ESLE!~

CASSIE: I Agree.

^No you don't, you wanna make out with Jake, don't lie.^

MARCO: Yeah. By the way, your brother's here man.

JAKE: That's why I have a door. ^::As TV Marco:: But he walked in on you and me last time.^ ~:AS TV JAKE: And on me and Cassie, I gotta get a lock.~ ::Taking out disk:: Okay, let's try this thing. ::hands disk to MARCO:: You're the computer wiz.

~Nope, he's Cheese Whiz!~

^Nacho flavored Cheese Whiz?^

MARCO: ::takes disk:: Compared to you, maybe. ^So your saying you have no computer skills at all?^ ::puts disk in disk drive:: Alright, lets see what happens.

RACHEL: ::off camera:: it doesn't look like it will fit.

^Disemboided voice number 2!^

~Is Rachel talking about Tobias's MMMFT!~

^::Is holding AG's mouth shut:: Shut up....you don't diss that part of a man's body like that!^

JAKE: ::off camera:: What, you have a better idea?

~Disemobodiesd voice number 3!~

MARCO: ::clicks on mouse. Computer comes up with a blue screen blinking "Ready..." types some stuff on the keyboard. Computer screen comes up with "Unable to find the application that created this file..." and retry and cancel buttons.::

~HA! You suck! It too small for the sketchy looking computer to read!~

^Wait...that's a computer?^

TOBIAS: ::off camera:: Try "Alt Escape X"

~::sighs:: only in Canada.~

^I thought it was Ctrl+Alt+Delete^

MARCO: ::tries it, computer screen comes up with blinking "Open File" and blinking retry button. Screen goes black with system failure... in white letters. EVERYONE moans::

~No comment.~

^Ditto.^

TOBIAS: ::off camera:: What's goin' on?

~DISEMBODIED VOICES ARE EVERYWHERE!~

RACHEL: ::off camera:: What happened?

^It's another disembodied voice. What is there a sale?!^

MARCO: ::facing RACHEL:: It worked on "Independance Day"

~That was a MOVIE! Live with it, you are not a movie actor,~

^::Fat Bastard Voice:: YOU ARE CRAP!^

JAKE: ::hitting MARCO:: They had Will Smith

^ABUSE! GO ON RIKKI LAKE TV MARCO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT!^

~Tratior.~

^If You can do it, so can I!^

TOM: ::opening door:: What're you guys doin'?

RACHEL: Just Cracking up. Marco finally said something funny.

~::Blinks:: He made a joke?~

^We missed it.^

MARCO: ::smiles and shrugs::

~^::Covers eyes:: WE'RE BLIND!^~

TOM: ::Nods and leaves::

MARCO: ::gets up to close door and sees TOM putting his finger in his ear::

^OH NO IT'S..^

~ITCHY EAR ITUS!~

~^::Scream::^~

::Theme Song interupts here::

~Commercial break.~

~^::Are sitting down eating donuts and drinking coffee.^~

^Frightening, isn't it?^

~It's terrifying. Commercial break over.~

^::Sobs::^

::EVERYBODY walks out of house, with Homer, onto driveway::

CASSIE: So, what's next?

JAKE: I don't know. Any ideas?

~OH! ME ME! I KNOW! I KNOW! SHUFFLEBOARD!~

^::crickets chirp::^

~What? WHAT?~

::nobody answers::

JAKE: ::nods:: Let's sleep on it, okay?

^Especailly you and Nadia, right Shawn?^

~He doesn't even spell it the COOL way, like Sean Connery.~

^Yeah!^

::EVERYBODY agrees and leaves, except MARCO::

MARCO: ::picks up basketball and starts to dribble::

~He needs a bib.~

^Awww, wook at the wittle Marco trying to pretend he can play. HOW CUTE!^

JAKE: ::steals ball:: Oh, he takes it away! ::shoots:: Scores!

~It's sad when they start announcing their own games.~

^Poor unfourtunate souls.^

~^::Look at eachother and burst into song:: POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS! It's Sad, but true!^~

TOM: ::comes out of house::

~::Hears Scream, look to Marco::~

^:: Shrugs:: It's not me.^

~^::both turn to Duo. He's screaming like a girl::^~

[HEERO! GET IT AWAY! I'M SCARED!]

{ Weakling.}

|Duo and Wufei, from Gundam Wing, ladies and gentalmen!|

^Duo, Wufei, Joe, I don't intrude on you MiSTS, do I?^

[No, I never did a MiST.]

{ Same here!}

|Me neither!|

~You will, now shoo!~

{ NATAKU! THEY DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! ::Runs to his Gundam, sobbing::}

[HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ::Imperisanting Relena::]

|IZZY! You still love me, right?! ::runs off::|

^::sighs:: You really need to do a MiST with them, it the second time Joe intruded, but the first that Wufei and Duo did.^

~It'll be okay Marco...ON WITH THE MiST!~

JAKE: ::to TOM:: Hey, Tom, ::passes ball to TOM:: ya' up for a quick game? Marco's no challenge anymore.

~He never was, he's a migdet.~

^HEY! I'm not a midget! I'm genetically short, there's a difference!^

~Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.~

TOM: I got somewhere to be.

~Yeah, the strip club.~

^He's going to watch Cassie?^

JAKE: ::looks troubled:: Oh. Hey, do you think there's gonna be any college scouts there tonight? Going for a tripple, double or what?

~::Looks Blank:: I hate sports talk.~

^You would.^

TOM: ::aiming ball with basket:: Nah. Team's history. ::ball goes in hoop, nothin' but net:: I'm going somewhere else.

~Shock of all Shocks!~

^HORROR OF HORRORS!^

MARCO: Where?

TOM: To a new club, The Sharing. Everybody's joining. ::walks down driveway::

~::Plays Scary music::~

JAKE: ::turns around:: Wait a second, you quit the basketball team?

^Yeah, DUH! I'm a model, you know what I mean?^

TOM: ::exasperated look. Turns around:: Jaaaaake, there's more to life than throwing a ball at a stupid hoop.

^::As TV Jake:: There is?^

JAKE: What? Basketball's like your whole life.

~ I thought he just said that it wasn't....~

TOM: ::shaking head:: ^Not so hard!^ ~The Yeerk'll pop out!~ Not anymore. Anyway, we do cooler things at The Sharing. And besides, the place is a magnet for girls. You guys should come. ::shakes head:: ^::As Tom:: I forgot, you don't like girls.^ I'll see you two clowns later. ::leaves::

JAKE: ::looking down at ground, troubled:: He quit the team.

~^DUH!^~

MARCO: You know all that stuff about how anybody can be a controller?

^::nods:: Maybe he HAS a brain after all.^

JAKE: ::nodding:: Yeah. What are you saying?

~You KNOW what he's saying Jake. Tom's a stripper now, live with it.~

MARCO: ::doesn't answer::

~Ahh, the weak, silent type, ne?~

^::snickers::^

JAKE: ::angry:: What are you saying?!

~HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!~

MARCO: I'm just saying that it's pretty weird that your all-star all-state Mr. Basketball brother would suddenly quit playing hoops.

^Really? Is it now?^

JAKE: Yeah? So?

~He's being stuuuuupid.~

^When ISN'T he being stupid?^

~Good Point.~

MARCO: So, maybe your Tom's not entirely under his own control.

JAKE: ::angrily. Throws basketball at MARCO, who has walked down the driveway.:: They would never get to my brother!

MARCO: What? ::throws ball back:: You think he's immune?

^::Defencesively:: YEAH!^

JAKE: He's too smart.

~:Bursts into laughter::~

MARCO: You just don't want to see it! Have you looked in his ear lately?

~Yeah, all wax filled and ...ugh...~

JAKE: ::walks angrily towards MARCO ^And trips.^:: Hey, if you're looking for somebody who's acting weird, why don't you start with your father?

~Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.~

^Low blow man....that was low.^

MARCO: ::gives JAKE a dirty look and walks away::

~Nice comeback.~

^Really.^

::cuts to tv screen, showing a black and white werewolf movie.::

MARCO: ::walks in door::

JEREMY: ::lying on couch, half asleep::

MARCO: ::looks at JEREMY, shakes head and closes door::

JEREMY: ::looks at MARCO:: Heeey, Marco

~Heeeeey, he's trying to be The Fonze!~

^No, he's stoned.^

MARCO: ::accusingly:: Didn't you have a job interview today?

JEREMY: ::soberly:: Yeah, I cancelled.

MARCO: Oh ::walks away:: right ::hangs jaket over back of chair::

~A man of many words, ain't he?~

^He hasn't said anything in spanish yet. ::Pretends to faint::^

JEREMY: Actually, I had something more important to do.

MARCO: Like what?

~YEAH! LIKE WHAT?~

JEREMY: I went down to the cemetary, put some fresh flowers out for you mom.

^OH! COOL! She's "dead" here too!^

~Wow...shocking.~

MARCO: ::closes eyes and sighs:: Oh. Well, there'll be other job interviews.

~No there won't.~

^Who would want a bum like him for an employee?^

JEREMY: ::smiles half-heartedly. whispers:: Yeah.

MARCO: Want me to call for a pizza?

~How can they afford Pizza when they don't work?~

^Spandexdom money?^

~ONLY I'M ALLOWED THE HONOR OF GUNDAM WING REFERALS!~

JEREMY: Yeah, that'd be great.

::camera pans to picture of Marco, Jeremy and Marco's Mom, smiling and hugging::

^THAT'S NOT MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!^

~We know, it'll be okay Marco.~

::cut to TOBIAS and RACHEL walking down street together::

~::Singing:: Watch were you walk 'cause the sidewalks talk and you can't keep a secret from the ground benieth you.~

^::shakes his head:: First Gundam Wing referals, now 80's music.^

~As if you're any better!~

RACHEL: ::to TOBIAS:: Thanks for walking with me.

~^::both singing:: Like walking in the rain, and wishing on the stars above....^~

TOBIAS: Sure.

RACHEL: ::stops walking:: Um, where do you live, anyway?

~SO I can come a rape you in the night.~

^You are scary. You AND your cat ears!^

~::Smiles:: Thanks!~

TOBIAS: Down on Grove, with my aunt. Last year I used to live with this other uncle. I kind of get passed around.

~Like an unwanted nephew.~

RACHEL: That must be rough.

TOBIAS: ::shrugging:: It's alright. ::pause:: I gotta get going. ::turns to walk away::

^So soon?^

RACHEL: ::tries to step in front of him:: You know, I saw a hawk flying over my house this morning.

~INTERCEPTED!~

^Now you're talking sports talk!^

~Hockey isn't a sport and football's okay.~

TOBIAS: ::looks down at the ground. Almost laughing ~'Cause the idea's just SO puposterous.~ ^OHH! BIG WORD!^:: What makes you think it was me?

RACHEL: ::smiling:: Something about the way it flew.

~^::covering face:: WE'RE BLIND!^~

TOBIAS: Do you ever wish you could just...fly away?

~^::singing;: I want to get away! I wanna fly away, Yeeeeeeeah yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeahhhhhhh!^~

RACHEL: ::nodding:: Sometimes

^Riiiight, that's why you're a druggie!^

(::RACHEL and TOBIAS have been giving eachother this REALLY DISGUSTING lovey-dovey look since Tobias said "Do you ever wish you could just...fly away?"::)

~::laughing:: I have to agree with Forlay when she says stuff like that.~

^OH YEAH! We got this scrip from Forlay's Archive. Go here: http://geocities.com/Area51/Hollow/5374/transcript.html^

SARA: ::holding up camera:: SMILE! Now you have a picture of your new boooy friend.

~::Faints::~

^::Catches her:: AG! WAKE UP AG! I CAN'T FINISH THIS WITH OUT YOU!^

~::opens eyes::Marco..::eye water:: I didn't know you cared....::hugs him::~

^Yeah yeah....let's finish this.^

RACHEL: Sara!

SARA: ::giggles and runs inside house::

~Brat.~

::RACHEL and TOBIAS look at ground and laugh::

^Wench.^

::cut to crowded school hallway::

~SCENE CHANGE!~

^Don't look!^

MARCO: ::walks down hall. Sees CHAPMAN, turns around::

^Smaaaaaaaaaaaaart. Really!^

CHAPMAN: Hold it right there, Marco.

MARCO ::stops:: Yes, Mr. Chapman.

CHAPMAN:You know, it always bothers me when the grades of one of our best students begin to drop.

~^::Burst into laughter.::^~

MARCO: Well, if I-I find that student, I'll tell him you said so. ::turns to leave::

~::Snirks::~

CHAPMAN: Levity (??) won't get you out of this. Maybe what you need are some friends that will be a better influence. ::sees lizard on floor. Tries to stomp on it. Lizard gets away:: Disgusting creatures. ::leaves::
^::sighs:: Lizards......... Spiderman.....Spiderman....^

~::Blinks and turns to the readers:: Be afraid, be very afraid.~

MARCO: ::leaves for class::

CHAPMAN: ::stops to look at a banner for The Sharing being hung up in the hall::

~::plays scary music::~

MARCO: ::walks into classroom where JAKE is waiting. ^Ohhhhh!^ ~Marco? How do you call your loverboy?~ ^::laughs::^ Sets books down on lab table where JAKE and a terariam is sitting::

JAKE: I didn't think you'd show.

~Awww, they're gonna screw now aren't they?~

^Ummm, no?^

MARCO: ::reaches into terariam:: Oh, what are you, kidding? I live for science lab make-ups, bro ::takes lizard out of terariam::

^It's happening!^

~RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!~

JAKE: Hey, careful. I dropped one earlier, I can't find it.

MARCO: ::smiling:: Yeah, I know. I saw it in the hall earlier. Chapman almost stepped on it.

JAKE: ::smiles::

~^ We're melting, we're melting! Oh what a world, what a world!^~

MARCO: Listen, about what happened yesterday-

JAKE: I'll forget it, if you will.

MARCO: I mean, we're dealing with some serious stuff here. It's a little more drastic than finding a zit. We were bound to go ballistic sooner or later, you know?

~::shudders:: Zits are bad.~

JAKE: I'm sorry.

^For your zit problems.^

MARCO: Me too, man.

::both do some secret handshake-type thing::

^Now we know that they are Yeerks. Jake and I don't DO that.^

~As if you didn't have one when you were little!~

^Yeah, but girls still had cooties back then!^

CHAPMAN: ::overheard from hall:: Blackmire! (??) Over here.

::JAKE and MARCO get up and quietly go towards door::

~Again, being obvious while trying to hide....someone teach these guys a lesson in stealth.~

CHAPMAN: ::to a little red headed boy:: Have you had any success in locating the Andalites?

^::Coughs::Yeerks::coughs::Obviously::coughs::Not::coughs::Very::coughs::Smart::hacks and wheezes::^

~Got another hair ball?~

^Listen Miss Cat Ears, I don't get hair balls, you do!^

BLACKMIRE: Not yet, but we're still looking.

CHAPMAN: That's unacceptable.

~Yeah! The ceral killers must be brought to justice!~

BLACKMIRE: We know they're using human morphs. Approximatly the same age as my host body.

^Can you guys be a little more obvious? The Lunchlady hasn't heard you yet.^

CHAPMAN: Just find them.

~Find the bastards that took all the marshmellows out of my Lucky Charms!~

^No! They didn't steal the heart, stars and horseshoes!^

~They got the clovers and blue moons, too!!~

^The pots of gold and rainbows?^

~::nods::~

^And the red ballons?^

~^::singing:: That's our Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!^~

BLACKMIRE: Yes, sir.

CHAPMAN: Now, go stand watch while I check the entrance to the pool.

~Sure, you KNOW there are Andalite in the school and you just BLAB that information out into the open....reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally smart man.~

::JAKE and MARCO look down at lizard still in MARCO'S hand. MARCO begins to acquire it.::

::JAKE and MARCO run out from under door into crowded hallway as lizards::

JAKE: *Chapman went that way.*

MARCO: *Jake, I can't see very well.*

JAKE: *Weird, I can't see colors.*

MARCO: *Whoa! My tongue! It can smell things!*

^MY TOUNGE CAN'T DO THAT! NO FAIR!^

~It's good for other things!~

^::smirks:: After the MiSt babe.^

~::purrs::~

JAKE: *It's between classes!*

MARCO: *So. Scared. Run. Hide!*

^Must. Talk. Like. This!^

JAKE: *Get a grip!*

~Wasn't that an Aerosmith CD?~

*First Matalica, now Aerosmith! What;s next Christina Agulara?!^

~^::both shudder::^~

MARCO: *Get a grip? Get a grip! Man, this skink is one nervous animal.*

~Skink?~

^Wha?^

CHAPMAN: ::unlocks the janitor's closet. walks in.::

~Inconspicuous is his middle name.~

::JAKE and MARCO run under door::

JAKE: *Watch out. *

^Suck in that tummy, come on, you can fit!^

CHAPMAN: Is everything ready for tonight?

TOM: ::turns around:: Everything's arranged.

^::plays scary music::^

CHAPMAN: Show me.

TOM: ~::nods turns faucet to the left, turns soap dish a quarter turn to the left. Wall slides open, revealing entrance to the Yeerk Pool.::

~No! They found my collocetion of Male slaves!~

^I thought you kept that in your room.^

~No, those are the dead bodies of people who piss me off.~

^Ahhhh.^

JAKE: *Tom! No!*

^I hate to say it but....^

~^We told you so!^~

MARCO: *Jake! I'm sorry, man.*

~No, it's my fault Ponyboy ran away!~

^Reading "The Outsiders" again?^

~Yep! ^_^~

CHAPMAN: Very impressive. But it's been three days, regeneration must begin tonight at sundown.

TOM: I need the kandrona nutrients. ::looks ~longingly~ at entrance:: How many new hosts will be there?

^Yeah, he's hungry!^

CHAPMAN: 50 new members from The Sharing. ::pause:: but your brother is not among them. Why?

^Why do you care?^

TOM: ::nods:: Jake has a very strong will. He may be a problem for us. If he doesn't cooperate, we may have to...correct the problem.

~KILL HIM!~

CHAPMAN: ~looks over at shelf where JAKE and MARCO are listening.~

TOM: ~looks where CHAPMAN is looking~ Sir?

CHAPMAN: ::walks towards shelf:: What do we have here? ::picks up MARCO::

^::as Tv Tom:: It's one of King Godzilla's spies, General!^


MARCO: *Jake! Help!*

JAKE: *Stay Calm. Just stay calm!*

~Morphing suit: 20 dollers. Replacing shoes: 15 dollers. Jake's words of advice? Worthless.~

CHAPMAN: ::holds MARCO in front of his and TOM'S face:: Nasty little creature.

~Don't talk about you fellow Yeerk that way.~

MARCO: *Jake! Help!*

CHAPMAN: Disgusting thing.

JAKE: *Stay calm. Just stay calm!*

~He's being redundant!~

^Good Gog not again.^

~Good Gog? Oh from the Terrance books!~


MARCO: *Jake! Help me!*

JAKE: Marco, be cool!

~He said something different!~

^Shocking!^

CHAPMAN: ::drops MARCO. MARCO and JAKE run out of closet under door. CHAPMAN looks at TOM and leaves::

TOM: ::troubled look::

~He's wondering why his lover is mad at him.~

^I don't wanna know.^

::cut to CHAPMAN walking down hall,looking for MARCO and JAKE ^Come out, come out where ever you are!^, MARCO and JAKE demorph inside lockers::

MARCO: Next time, we use a phone booth, dude. ~^::Laughing::^~ ::quietly, walking away.:: Don't worry man, we're gonna help your brother.

::cut to group walking through a field (Cassie's preserve) at night::

CASSIE: ::walking next to JAKE:: Jake, I'm really sorry about your brother.

JAKE: I'm gonna set him free no matter what it takes. And when we do, I'm gonna take that yeerk inside of his head and squash it like a bug.

~Now that's brotherly love, don't it make you wanna wretch?~

TOBIAS: At least now we know that the yeerks need some sort of a booster treatment every three days.

^Like your artificial brains?^

~And skin?~

RACHEL: And we know a way into this pool. Whatever that is.

MARCO: Yeah, you'd think that Elfangor would've given us an instruction manual, or somethin'

RACHEL: You mean before or after he went toe to toe with Visser Three?

^Andalites don't have toes! They have hoofs!^

~A Zebra's hoof is it's toe.~

^Oh. But they're Andalites.^

~No, they are demented furby's on crack.~

TOBIAS: Well, maybe that's what the disk is for!

^Maybe it's a bunch of dirty pictures of female Andalites?^

~PlayAndalite?~

MARCO: We need an instruction manual for that too!

::group approaches large, imposing, metal fence, with a door::

CASSIE: This is where my mom works. With all of the exotic animals.

MARCO: Exotic? Like rare chickens or somethin'?

^Like you?^

JAKE: ::to MARCO. The two of them are standing by themselves:: Hey, listen. If we're going to fight the yeerks, I think we're going to need something a little more dangerous than a rat, a cat, and a dog.

~He forgot hawks.~

::both look over fence::

MARCO: How dangerous is dangerous, dude?

^You might loose an eye, no big deal though.^

JAKE: This looks tricky, I'll give you a boost. ::bends over and puts hands out for MARCO to step in::

MARCO: Why do I have to go first???

JAKE: Because you're small. I can get you up there.

MARCO: You're the leader, why don't you go first?

JAKE: Okay, you boost me.

MARCO: ::looking up wall:: Man, that's barbed wire, bar boso (or somethin' like that, I don't know spanish)

^NOOOOO! WILL SOME ONE SHUT THIS CHATTERING MONKEY UP?!^

~I'd cut him, but I don't have a knife.~

^Ha. Ha. Ha. Surf Ninja referal. Very nice.^

::both continue to look over wall::

~Wall's pretty tonight.~

^Yeah.^

CASSIE: ~holds keys up~ You guys almost finished? ~CASSIE, RACHEL and TOBIAS are smiling on the other side of the fence~

MARCO: My bad, dude ::do the secret handshake-thing from the science lab::

^We have a secert handshake too!^

~^::The the TV Show characters the middle finger::^~

::cut to MARCO closing something that looks like a garage door::

JAKE: ::off camera:: Wow!

~::Off screen:: Ooooh!~

RACHEL: ::off camera:: Whoa!

^::off screen:: Ahhhh!^

JAKE: ::off camera:: Look at that!

~He closed the garage! COOL!~

MARCO: They've all been fed, right, Cas? ::walks over to group standing in front of white tiger's cage::

^Then the tiger breaks loose and eats them all.^

~YAY!~

RACHEL: ::off camera, camera is zooming on tiger:: What is it?

~An intelligant life form.~

^And on this show too, amazing!^

CASSIE: ::off camera:: It's a white, bengal tiger. Now, watch his eyes. If they dialate, just back away very, very slowly. ::opens cage door::

^::Tiger jumps out and eats them all::^

JAKE: ::walks in::

~Eat him! Eat him!~

^::singing:: Don't make us repeat it! Eat them all up, they are too dumb, to know that this show is so gonna bomb!^

MARCO: Slowly?

CASSIE: ::off camera:: Remeber, all you have to do is touch it to acquire it's DNA.

~::singing:: When I think about you I touch myself, ooohh, I don't want, any other morph, with I think abut it I touch myself!~

^::blinks:: 80's songs are in today huh?^

RACHEL: ::off camera:: Just make a fuffer sound.

^Fuffer?^

JAKE: ::tiger turns head and snarls at JAKE:: A what?

~::as tiger:: That stupid sound that pisses me off to no end!~

CASSIE: Fuffer. Like this, vvvvh, vvvvh. ::MARCO, TOBIAS and RACHEL look at her like she's crazy. ^SHE IS!^ CASSIE shrugs:: They say it calms him down.

~What she forgot to mention was that the tiger ate everybody who used it!~

JAKE: Yeah,sure.

CASSIE: ::off camera:: Easy, Jake. Slowly

^::bursts into laughter::^

~What? I don't see what's so......OH! You sick bastard!~

^::laughs even louder::^

JAKE: Vvvvh. Vvvvh. ::smiles at tiger:: Hey, buddy. ~::glares:: Go away.~ ::almost to the tiger:: Vvvvh. Vvvh.

CASSIE: Remember, when you acquire it's DNA, it'll go into a trance.

MARCO: How about that moment before the trance when it rips his arm off? ::smirks::

^That's a me comment.^

JAKE: ::leans forward and puts hand out to acquire tiger:: This one's for you, Tom.

~I'm sure he's deeply moved by your geusture, Jake.~

CASSIE: ~smiles when JAKE finishes acquiring. Whispers.~ Yes.

~::Whispers:: No.~

^::singing:: I don't want to be, your sex object. You play your tricks, they're just perfect!^

~Listening to my music again?~

^Yeah, I like that Ballad of Co-Ed song.^

RACHEL: Cool.

^Yeah. its a very cool song.^

CASSIE: Okay, Rach, you're next.

::cut to RACHEL standing in cage with a male lion::

^::Twitching:: We had a bad experiance with lions......HOW DARE SHE?! EVIL BITCH! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! ::Attacks TV screen and falls down. Gets up and sits next to AG, she give him a band-aid::^

RACHEL: I've got it. Rachel the lion hearted ::walks to door of cage::

MARCO: Yeah? Well, Marco the chicken hearted says lets go before we become lunch.

JAKE: Good idea. ~To become lunch?~ ::everyone turns to leave. CASSIE closes and locks cage door::

::cut to everybody walking out of the compound::

MARCO: ::he and JAKE are ahead of everybody else:: Hey,Jake, don't take this the wrong but, um, ^I love Cassie.^ should you leave Elfangor's disk in your room?

JAKE: You're right, but I already thought of that. ::pats coat pocket:: From now on, It goes where I go.

^::singing:: I go where he won't go.^

~Shut up.~

MARCO: Cool. We're gonna help your brother, bro, I promise. ::MARCO walks ahead::

::everybody else walks up to, and ahead of JAKE, RACHEL stays by him::

RACHEL: ::sighs:: You think we'll pass as human controllers?

JAKE: We'll find out tonight.

::cut to school hallways filling up with controllers. MARCO and JAKE poke head out from behind a door way and quickly join the crowd. CASSIE, RACHEL and TOBIAS follow. JAKE, MARCO, CASSIE, and TOBIAS look freaked out. RACHEL is the only one who fits in with the controller crowd. When MARCO and JAKE reach doorway to the yeerk pool, they hesitate.::

MARCO: Go on, Go On! ::JAKE goes down first, followed by MARCO::

^Off they go, walking to their Doom.^

~Who's up for a game of cards?~

::cut to the yeerk pool. Lots of screams and shots of a red pool. Close up of VISSER THREE::

~^|{ [::Scream::]} |^~

VISSER THREE: *Move Faster! We have many hosts to regenerate tonight! I will be in my chambers, notify me when it is done.*

CONTROLLER 1: ::off camera:: Yes, Visser Three!

~Huh?~

^What?^

~Controller 1? Couldn't they call him Bob? Or Phil?~

^::Sighs:: No.^

~I nameth thee, Controller 1, BOB!~

^::blinks:: Oh Dear Lord.^

CASSIE: ::seperated from the others and is put in a second line::

CONTROLLER 1 ~HIS NAME IS BOB!~ : ::grabs MARCO:: You! Stay in the regeneration line!

^MAN HANDELING!^

::camera pans over the pool. We see controllers leaning over to let yeerks out of their heads. A Yeerk dropping into the pool, free people being dragged to cages, people in cages, a Hork-Bajir head, an entire Hork-Bajir, the Animorphs in the regeneration line::

~The happiest place on Earth Ladies and gents.~

RACHEL: Jake, look. ::camera cuts to TOM at the regeneration line:: Tom.

~^::Play scary music::^~

::JAKE, RACHEL, TOBIAS and MARCO watch in horror as TOM leans over the pool::

TOM: ::yeerk drops out of his head. Grabbed by two controllers:: No, Let go of me! You can't put that thing back in me!

^::starts to laugh::^

~::grabs his neck:: Not. One. Word. Marco.~

CONTROLLER 2: ::looks at JAKE, RACHEL, TOBIAS, and MARCO:: Get in line
~I nameth thee, Controller 2, JOE!~

^Joe?^

~Yeah. It's fast and easy.~

^Like you?^

~Not on your life, Marco.~


TOBIAS: ::steps forward:: We report directly to Visser Three. Get out of our way.

~Don't you love it when he get's all commanding like that? Really it just DOES something to me.~

^Really? It makes ME wonder how he got so "comanding" all of a sudden.^

CONTROLLER 2: ::looks them over. Nods,backs away.::

^He's not really that intimidating.^

~He's more intimidating then the demented furby on crack.~

TOBIAS: ::leads group away from the line::

MARCO: ((Says some stuff I can't understand. Too much background noise.))

~::dully:: Ahhhh. It's an anime dub. Ahhhh.~

^::dully:: Ahhhhh. It's an anime dub. Ahhhhh.^

::cut to CASSIE still in the regeneration line::

TOBIAS: ::leads everybody to an out of the way place::

^I thought Jake was the leader.^

~Keyword. WAS.~

JAKE: We've got to do something.

CASSIE: ::steps up to next in line::

JAKE: There's Cassie.

~And Super Jake states the obvious yet again!~

^::monotone:: Yay.^

CASSIE: ::bends down like she's a controller::

~You mean she's not? Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!~

JAKE: ::off camera:: What is she doing?

~::Singing and doing the dance:: And we can do it doggie style so we can both watch X-Files! Do it now! You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Chanel!~

^::singing:: I played my part, left you in the dark.....^

~::blinks:: Shut up.~

^What's wrong with the Backstreet Boys?^

~Not them, I'm just sick of that song at the moment.~

RACHEL: ::off camera:: I don't know!

~She's being deciving. Duh!~

::Everybody watches CASSIE in anticipation::

CONTROLLER 3: ::walks up to CASSIE:: Is something wrong?

~I nameth thee, Controller 3, JOE BOB!~

^That was unexpected.^

JAKE: C'mon, let's distract him.

RACHEL: Do it. Quick. ::JAKE and RACHEL go right, MARCO and TOBIAS go left::

^::Laughs::^

~Sick.~

CASSIE: ::still on knees in front of pool:: I'm having a hard time getting out of her ear.

TOBIAS: ::morphing hawk::

CONTROLLER 3 ~Joe Bob.~ : Turn your head.


CASSIE: ::grabs a stone, puts it near her ear and turns head:: I'm almost free. ::drops stone in pool. Controllers come forward to take her to cages:: NOOOOO!!! You can't put that thing back in my ear! Let go of me! ::pushes one controller away::

~::Jaw hanging open:: That was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious it wasn't a yeerk. Oh my God they're all retards.~

^Don't insult retards like that, they're smarter tham THESE people.^

~True, true.~

RACHEL: ::comes out of a cave in lion morph. Roars and pushes a controller into the pool::

CASSIE: ::pushes other controller holding on to her into pool::

~What?! No Choclate? DIE!~

TOBIAS: ::in hawk morph:: *Rachel! You have Visser Three to your right and two Hork-Bajir behind you!*

~NOOO! DON'T HELP HER! SHE'S AN ENEMY!~

RACHEL: *Thanks, Tobias.*

~NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~

^::laughs::^

~::Chains him in the Bath tub and drags the MiST in there::~

^That was useless.^

~Yeah, but now you can't watch TV with have ME turn it on!~

^NOOO!^

VISSER THREE: *What is going on out there?!*

^What do you think? Bondage in the first degree!^

MARCO: ::sneaks behind CONTROLLER THREE ~Joe Bob~ and pulls a switch that releases the people from their cage. Freed controllers stampede out and run over a Hork-Bajir::

^~STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!~^

VISSER THREE: *Stop them you fools!*

^~::As Controlers, drinking tea::~^

^ We don't want to.^

~We are over worked an under paid.~

~^WE ARE UNION WORKERS MAN!^~

RACHEL: ::demorphed, runs out and joins the crowd::

JAKE: ::running with CASSIE in the crowd. Leaves CASSIE, goes behind a rock and morphs tiger.::



CHAPMAN: The door controller!


CONTROLLER 3~^Joe Bob.^~: ::pulls switch to close door::

RACHEL: ::running through door as it closes:: Cassie! Hurry up!

~And Super Rachel does it again. She gives away ANOTHER member's I dentity.~

CASSIE: ::just gets through door as it closes::

CHAPMAN: ::walking towards group of current and recaptured controllers, TOM'S among them:: Where'd they go? Did anyone see their faces?

JAKE: ::demorphed, sprints for the door::

~Don't be a fool! You can't leave!~

^GET HIM! GET HIM!^

CHAPMAN: ::points to JAKE:: Hey you! Stop right there!

JAKE: ::keeps running up stairs with CHAPMAN close behind. Reaches door, starts pulling on it to try and get it open (even though it's a sliding door) morphs lizard and crawls out before CHAPMAN sees him.::

^::laughing:: He's trying to open a sliding door by pulling on it.^

CHAPMAN: ::to VISSER THREE:: We did our best!

~^We have no regrets.^~

~Been playing my pokemon games?~

^Shamlessly, yes!^

VISSER THREE: *You have failed once again.*

~YOU FOOLS!~

CHAPMAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

~^::Laughsing:: BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!^~

::cut to JAKE, CASSIE, RACHEL and MARCO running down "Gillan court". Stop after they turn the corner. MARCO stops first.::

~But we already knwo they are in Canada...just send the yeerks there!~

JAKE: ::Turning back to MARCO:: You okay?

MARCO: ::nods::

~NOOO! JOE! BOB! JOE BOB!~

^Oh my god! They killed Joe Bob!^
~YOU BASTARDS!~

MARCO VO: Yeah, I'd give anything to be just a regular kid again. But, no, now I have to change my shape more often than I change my underwear. But when I saw Jake's brother and the others trapped, taken over, controlled, I knew I was one of the lucky ones.

~But you don't have a brain to control.~

^And with that, they all died. YAY!^

RACHEL: ::breathing heavily:: That was wild!

~^No Comment^~

CASSIE: I'm just glad we're all okay.

JAKE: Tom's not.

~He never was,~

CASSIE: There'll be another time, Jake. We'll get him back, okay?

MARCO: ::walking forward to join the group.:: Tobias, you did it again. ::points to hawk on street sign:: If it wasn't for Tobias, I'd be road kill. Thanks, Tobias.

~TOBIAS DIDN'T SAVE YOU! HE SAVED HIS LOVER!~

^Chill!^

RACHEL: Tobias?

JAKE: Thats, not him.

^~::play scary music::~^

MARCO: What? You mean I've been talking to a bird the whole time? ::hawk flies away::

RACHEL: No. You don't think... Tobias?!

JAKE: Rachel, I'm sure he made it out. ::looks at RACHEL and CASSIE, both have very serious looks on. There not so sure. Looks in direction the hawk flew:: Tobias?!

CASSIE: Tobias!

RACHEL: Tobias!!

MARCO: Tobias!

::everybody starts walking back the way they came, calling out for TOBIAS::

~BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!~

^You're SCREWED!^