The Fifth Animorphs MiST
By: AquaianGoddess

Author's notes: AniTV isn't mine, thank God, flames
will be laughed and and used for smores.

^We got bored, so this one might not be as good as the
other ones.^

@Aww, come on, it'll be great!@

~Riiiight. You know the drill, some of the jokes we make may be
perverted or offensive. the sqiggly lines are mine,
for I AM AquaianGoddess!~

^And these '^' things are mine. I am MARCO THE
MAGNIFICANT MUSE!^

@I am Aquatta, I'll add in random comments here and there ^_^@

#*I am Aximili and just here cause Aquatta forced me to.*#

@::grins evilly::@

~On with it!~
**************************************************
"Between Friends"

::zoom in on RACHEL reading in her bed::

^~#::Screams::#~^

@KILL IT! KILLIT!!!!@

#::sweatdrops::*Been watching Dogma?*#

@::shrugs:: Hey, I am becoming one of AG™'s muses. ::grins:: Right AG-chan?@

~::nods:: But you're the only one that lives outside of the home.~

RACHEL: ::hears a hawk screach, puts book down. Goes
over to window, opens it. Leans out::
Hello? ~Yes Rachel, the hawk is gonna answer you
back.~ ::turns back to window. Pauses, then quickly
turns around to window again. Gasps. A hawk flies in
her window and lands on her bed::

@KILL HER! Peck her eyes out!!!@

TOBIAS: It's okay, it's me.

^Hey! It talked! You were right AG!^

RACHEL: Tobias!

~WHA?! You mean he's not dead yet?!~

^Not FAIR!^

&::Tobias from the halls of Aquatta's muses:: HEY!&

#*No comments*#

@Hey, Tobias is a hottie! And go back to your room!@

&Yes Ma'am.&

^::makes a whip cracking noise::^

TOBIAS: Hey, Rachel.

RACHEL: We thought they'd got you. What happened?

~Well, I met a whole bunch of other hawks and they
told me that having the urge to kill the
people that left me in the Yeerk pool is totaly
natural and I should just go with the flow.~

@#*Sounds good to me.*#@

TOBIAS: Back at the yeerk pool, I guess getting away
took more than two hours.

^You could have hidden, demorphed, then remorphed you
ass.^

#*Marco dissed you!*#

@Ax, dollface,that's not quite a new thing you know.@

RACHEL: No. Tobias, concentrate. Concentrate hard, you
have to change back!

~I need to get laid!~

^Alas, Tobias. Thou shalt die a virgin.^

@::plays violin::@

#*Where'd you get that?*#

@What?@

#*The violin?*#

@::hit him over thehead with said violin:: Don't ask questions!@

~You stole it form Quatre didn't you?~

#::rubbing head::*Oww, that hurt!*#

@awwww, want me tokiss and make it better?@

#*Huh?*#

@Heh heh heh@

~^Must..... puke.....^~

TOBIAS: I've tried. ^to got laid. Really I did! But I
didn't know how, so I called up the refercence desk at
the libery and asked the secertary there.... and IT'S
GROSS!^

#::shudders:: *To think that such a beautiful act could be so disgusting*#

~That Beautiful act creats stupid people like Brookie. I think sex is werid and gross too, Tv-Tobais, except when Jake and Marco do it in fics! Then it's beautiful.~

@::sweatdrops:: Um, Ax, have a clue as to what you're talking about?@

#*Uh, not really*#

~::Slaps forehead::~

RACHEL: Try. Harder.

~I. Can't. Stop. Talking. Like. This.~

@Must. Shoot. Bad. Actress.@

TOBIAS: It's no use. Elfangor warned us, he was
right. I can't change back.

~::as Elfangor:: Man I hate it when I'm right!~

#*Damn you Elfangor!*#

^Remind me to send a sympathy card.^

@Muahahaha!@

~Actually, this is kinda sad, he was the only cute
actor on the show.~

@Yeah no kidding!@

&FINALLY I get some respect!&

~^::Singing, badly:: R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me!^~

@Tobias I'm sorry but you're Rodney Dangerfeild impression sucks, go back to
your room.@

RACHEL: ::looks away::

^And she knows it too!^

@What? That Tobias' Dangerfeild impression sucks?@

::Theme Song interupts here::

~^::Covering their ears and screaming until it
stops::^~

@::has the amazing ability to block stuff out:: I actually thought the
themesong was decent could be worse could be Go Go Animorphs!@

~^::Blinks and start singing, to the tune of the old Power Ranger's theme:: Go go Animorphs! Go go animorphs! Not-So-Mighty On-Crack Animorphs!^~

~::As Tv-wanna-be-power-ranger-Jake:: It's Morphing Time! White Siberian Tiger morph!~

^::Blinks:: God, that's actually a very scary thought.^

::RACHEL walking through halls at school, interspersed
with images of TOBIAS, both human (from when he and
RACHEL walked home together) and when he visited her
as a hawk::

~^Ooooh. Symbolism.^~

RACHEL VO: My name is Rachel. ~^Hi Rachel.^~ ~Welcome
to the HAA meeting. Hawk Addicts Aynonomus.~ My friend
^as in boyfriend? I think not.!^ @She's trying to act like Relena! Did you
knowthat in the Japanese version of the episode where she first meets Sally
shesays that she's Heero's sweetheart? Allow me a Wufei moment: INJUSTICE!!@
^::Screams like a girl::^ ~::blinks and looks pale::~ Tobias can usually change back and forth, from human to animal, like the rest of us. But this time he went over the limit, and
now he's trapped in the body of a hawk. We have to
help him. ::goes to her locker, opens it:: ~And a bomb
explodes, killing her. THE END!~

@YAY!!!@

^You can't save Tobias now, he's too far gone.^

~We've lost him doctor!~

#*Well for God's sake nurse I'm a ship egineer not a miracle worker!*#

MARCO: ::closes RACHEL'S locker:: I can't believe it.

^Me neither. Your acting is horrendous.^

~Have you been stealing my thesaurous again?~

JAKE: ::next to MARCO:: At least he's still alive.

~Barely but he'll die soon anyway, so let's have an
orgy!~

@::blinks:: echi @

^The only people that would show up would be me and
Jake... ::Smiles evilly:: I have an idea... Oh
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ack!^

~::Has him by the hair:: After the MiST.~

^::pouts::^

#runs from the room, holding his nose, or the slits we suppose::#

@Heehee, now look what you've done.@

~Let us be proud.~

RACHEL: And we can hear his thoughts.

@You'd like thatwouldn't you Rach?@

^That's not very comferting.^

~That's just disturbing.~

MARCO: When he want's us to. You think we could find a
more crowded place to talk about this?

~No.~

JAKE: Yeah, you're right.

^Not really, you're just saying that so you two can
find a locker to screw in! Spazz.^

#::from the bathroom:: *Jake, you're never right!*#

RACHEL: 6:30 tonight at the barn?

~::as Rachel:: I'm doing a strip tease.~

@AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!!! WE ALL SHALL BE BLINDED!!!@

JAKE: I'll tell Cassie. C'mon ::him and MARCO leave::

^That Rachel's doing the strip tease?^

@::grins evilly:: Wonder what the boys are going to do.@

#*Will you shut up!This'll never stop!*#

@::smilesinnocently:: What won't stop?@

~CAN'T STOP THE BUM RUSH!~

#::pause:: *I. Am.Not. Saying. If I may also borrow a Wufei moment, it would
be injustice.* #

RACHEL: ::turns around, sees MELISSA coming around
corner. Goes to see her at her locker.:: Hey, Melissa,
What's up?

~Let's see, her alien controlled father is trying to
take over the world, kill her "best friend", and he
won't raise her allowance!~

^He won't raise her allowance? That bastard!^

@INJUSTICE!@

#*Allright Aquatta no more Gundam Wing.*#

@NOOOOO!!! ::throws a very large book at him, he screams in pain:: Ha.@

MELISSA: ::putting books away:: Nothing.

~Ohhh, she lies threw her teeth!~

^SHE HAS TEENAGE ANGST!^

~She wants to be me.~

^Tell me about it!^

*Angst?*

@::sighs:: AG, remind me to change the locks on the door when MiSTing, this is
Chibi-D, my lemon-angt muse. NOW GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!@

*Sure I can listen to the room next door. ::grins evilly and trots away::*

@(O).(O)@

~I fear for your sanity.~

RACHEL: So, how's The Sharing? You still going to the
meetings?

~Ohhhh, that's a subtile "I don't approve of it"
comment!~

MELISSA: Yeah, I go. ::starts to walk up stairs::

^And I don't care what you say about it! I believe in
war, bitch!^

#::comes back in::*She's Dorothy now?*#

^::Blinks:: Dorothy was kinda cool.....kinda, if you're into the Rachel that got beaten with an ugly stick.^

@AH! DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME! And you say I can't watch Gundam?@

~I thought it was "I believe in Peace, Bitch."?~

RACHEL: Uh, how's your dad?

~He dreams about you at night! It's soooo American
Beauty, it's not funny.~

^That's just .... no.^

@AG, you went a lil too far now.@

MELISSA: ::stops:: Uh, hello. He's the principal. You
see him every day.

~I was wondering who that guy was!~

RACHEL: Right, I knew that. ~^::Nodding::
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.^~ @Ha ha! Dumb blonde!@::MELISSA
starts to walk up stairs again:: Hey, can I come over
to your house after school?

MELISSA: ::stops and turns around:: Why?
RACHEL: ^So I can come and rape you in the night?^ #*Yuri echi,*# @Ax,
you don't know what you just said.@ #* So?*# @Whoo boy....¦@
Just to hang? ~Same thing.~

MELISSA: We shouldn't. ::RACHEL looks confused ~Isn't
she always?~ @SHE'S BLONDE!@ ~Stop dissing blondes, they aren't all bad, just the dumb ones are.~:: My dad doesn't like me to have friends
over after school. ^Because he usually has me get
raped by the football team after school.^

#*Ewwwwwww*#

RACHEL: Since when?

~Since my dad grew this mustache thingy and changed
his name to Adolf Hilter.~

@SINCE NOW BITCH!@

MELISSA: For awhile. I'll see you later. ::Goes back
up stairs::

^I thing she wants to end the relationship, Rachel.^

@Aww, poor witttle girlie@

::cut to everybody, including TOBIAS, at CASSIE'S
barn::

RACHEL: ::leaning back on something:: We have to do
something! ::Walks over to JAKE::

^I KNOW! A bake sale!^

~::Blinks:: ::Crickets chirp::~

^It was just an idea.^

@#*Don't quit your day job,*#@

^I have a job?^

JAKE: ::looking at a shelf ^Hey is Cassie's journal!^
~Read it read it!~:: I don't think we should ^read
Cassie's journal. Her handwriting's like drunken
chicken scratch anyway.^ do anything right now.

RACHEL: Why not?

~Because he's a pansy and doesn't wanna risk getting
his lover, Marco, killed?~

JAKE: We've had way too many close calls. ::walks
away::

^You wuss!^

@WEAKLING!!!!@

#*Aquatta. Shutup!*#

@No.@

RACHEL: ::walks after him:: And meanwhile, the yeerks
continue taking over and Tobias is stuck as a hawk?

~::rolling her eyes:: Nice comeback.~

@Tell me about it.@

CASSIE: That's not fair, #*Life's not fair, live with it.*# you know we
allwant to help
him, right.

^::As TV Marco:: Wrong. If Tobias comes back, I can't
get laid when I want, comprende amigo?^

#::falls over laughing::#

JAKE: ::walking behind CASSIE ~He rips off her cloths
and preceds to rape her.~ ^That was a violent
outburst.^ @No freakin' kidding,@:: We have to have a plan, that's all I'm
saying.

RACHEL: Look, Mr. Chapman is obviously an important
controller ^Really? I couldn't tell.^, right? Melissa
has a cat, I think I should acquire it and get into
his house.

^Aquire Fluffer McKitty?^

~Who the hell names their cat Fluffer McKitty?~

@Obviously a stoned retard like Melissa@

^And 'Kitty' is a better name?^

~I WAS THREE!~

@And sorry but Kitty is more acceptable. I can see myself going 'Here
Kitty Kitty' instead of 'Here Fluffer McKitty FlufferMcKitty!' I'd feel like a
god damn moron! yeesh better off with Mistoffelees anyways!@

MARCO: ::lounging in a hay loft:: While you're at it,
get the answers to our finals.

^Why would Chapman have the answers anyway?^

CASSIE: ::looks up incredulously at MARCO::

@Ouch, if looks can kill,@

#*We would have been dead within the first two minutes of the first episode.*#

~If looks could kill, most of the human population would be dead with me around.~

MARCO: What good is it if we defeat the yeerks, and
then can't get into college?

~You wouldn't be able to get in anyway.~

#*Yeah compadre*#

RACHEL: I ran into Melissa this morning, #*and that hurt*# @Ax,@ she's
different. Scared. Something's happened, ^Umm, you
make it sound like she's getting raped by the man,
Rach.^ ~You mean she's not?~ I want to help her
before her father turns her into one of them.

~What if she's one already? You mean you didn't think
of that? Oh, that's right, they don't think.~

@Yeah, you're asking way, WAY too much@

JAKE: If you get caught that's exactly what's gonna
happen to you. @#*HORRAY!*#@ ::pause:: What do you think, Tobias?

^That was a dirty move.^

~What?~

^Asking Tobias, he knows Rachel has a soft spot for
him, so he's using it against her.^

@Ah, the sign of a true leader.@

TOBIAS: No one wants to stop the yeerks more than
me, but Jake's right.

~I bet Jake paid him to say that.~

JAKE: For now, we keep a low profile,okay?

^::blinks:: Can we throw bricks through his windows
and send death threats?^

RACHEL: ::looks away::

~:: As Tv Rachel:: But I wanna FUCK!~

^You sounded more like Catherine than you did Rachel.^

@::snickers::@

MARCO: Real low profile, we're kickin' and talkin' to
a hawk.

~Kickin'? Kickin' what?~

@*DON'T KICK MY TOBIAS! Damn you!*@

~::blinks:: 'Your' Tobias????~

::cut to CHAPMAN and MELISSA eating dinner::

MELISSA:Is your dinner okay?

CHAPMAN: :: ~Turns green and runs for the bathroom.~
looks up from plate, pauses, smiles a REALLY fake
smile ~OIL. OIL.~:: It's both satisfying and delicious
^::Laughs:: He makes it sound like a damn weight loss
commercial!^. From now on whenever your mother's away,
you're the substitue chef.

#*He's a goner.*#

@Huh?@

#*Would YOU eat Melissa's cooking?*#

@No.@

#*My point.*#

~What does her mom do anyway?~

^She's a Hooker?^

~^@::Look at each other and burst into song:: Hey
sista, soul sistas, gotta get that dough sistas.@^~

#(O).(O)#

MELISSA: ::smiles shyly::

~BAD ACTING! RUNNNNNNN!~

@::starts running, Ax grabs her shirt:: Hey!@

#*I don't believeshe was being literal.*#

@I don't care bad acting still sucks!@

::cut to RACHEL sneaking around outside CHAPMAN'S
house. Knocks screwdriver off counter, attracts
CHAPMAN'S attention inside::

@Muahahaha! And she's supossed to be the "Graceful one" lil Miss Gymnast
and all! Haha!@

^What's a screwdriver doing outside anyway?^

CHAPMAN: ::gets up from table and goes to door::

MELISSA:What's wrong?

~I think there's a killer in a ghost mask outside.
Melissa, go outside and see if I'm right.~

@YEAH! DO IT!@

CHAPMAN: ::looks out glass door, doesn't see RACHEL. @#*He's blind as a
bat!*#@ Goes back to dinner::

^SHE WAS RIGHT THERE!! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT SEE
HER?!^

~NOT ANOTHER ONE! Is it genetics or something?!~

@It's Canadian water.@

~::in tacky Movie phone guy voice:: Canadian Water™ is availible at your local Rite Aid.~

RACHEL: ::by another door of the house, opens can of
tuna, sets it down in front of cat door, opens cat
door and waves the tuna smell in the house:: C'mon,
free dinner. C'mon, it's tuna ::picks up can::
Dolphin friendly and everything. C'mon, here
kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty. ::cat comes out, picks up
cat:: Gotcha!

^::blinks:: Doesn't the kitty have a name?^

~No. But at least she used Dolphin friendly tuna....
BUT WHY DIDN'T THEY HEAR HER?!~

@Cause they're assholes.@

#*AQUATTA!*#

@What?@

#*Language language!*#

@::waves hand dismissively:: Aw leave me alone.@

#*I'll call you Aldrea again,*#

@(O).(O)@

JAKE: ::sneaking around in CHAPMAN'S yard. Sees RACHEL
acquiring cat. RACHEL starts to morph, stands up::
^She^ Ra--

RACHEL: ::goes in cat door::

CHAPMAN: ::sees cat/RACHEL jumping up on counter::
Cat!

~DOG!~

^FISH!^

@I thought we were messing with Andalites and Hork-Bajir here.@

~::Blinks:: No.~

MELISSA: ::looks back at RACHEL/cat::

CHAPMAN:That cat is a nusance.

~Did he poop on your shoes again?~

@No cat would disgrace himself in such a way.@

MELISSA: ::looks back at CHAPMAN:: But I thought you
loved him?

CHAPMAN: ::smiles fake smile ^Careful, you're face my
stick like that.^:: Well, now I don't. ::he and

MELISSA go back to dinner::

^Funny, the cat likes you.^

RACHEL: ::jumps down off counter, goes downstairs, demorphs, starts searching CHAPMAN's desk area. Pulling things off walls, rifling through desk papers::

~This just screams breaking and entering.~

CHAPMAN: ::suddenly gets up from table, heads in direction of basement::

^Umm, dude, Devil's Tower isn't in the basement.^

~I knew it! You watched Close Encounters without me!~

@Close Encounters?@

#*Wasn't that a movie?*#

@That was Close Encounters of the Third Kind wacko,@

~That's what I was talking about!~

@Sorry AG-Chan.@

#::blinks:: *So aliens are reffered to as the third kind, and I'm NOT A WARNER BROTHER DAMMIT!*#

@AXIMILI!@

#*Sorry.*#

MELISSA: ::turns around in chair to see CHAPMAN:: Dad?

CHAPMAN: ::stops, looks back at MELISSA:: ~::in Darth Vader voice:: I'm not your father, I'm your mother.~ #^::As Melissa:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!^# @Ax you sound weird as a girl@Yes?

MELISSA: Can you quiz me on my history test tonight?

~I'm sorry, I don't have time for you. The invastion is taking up alot of my time and you KNOW how important it is to me! Go smoke pot or something.~

@::snickers::@

CHAPMAN: I'm sure you'll do a competent job.

^She sure will Dr. Evil.^

MELISSA: But you always help me.

~He does not!~

@#*LIAR!!!*#@

CHAPMAN: ::looks away as if remembering:: Of course I do. Why don't you start without me? @Ew, you have orgies with your father?@ #*AQUATTA!!!*# @What? Those two can NOT be related,@ ::leans down and gives MELISSA a very awkward kiss on the head. Goes downstairs::

@Now you see, I don't care if you're a Controller they would know enough to be comfortable kissing their hosts daughter.@

~^::Blinks::^~ ~Talk about awkward moment. Fathers don't do that when they are about to go talk to their boss.~

@Exactly!@

^His lipstick is probably smeared now.^

#*How in space did I get mixed up in this*#

~Mystery Science Theratre 3000 was full.~

#*Oh.*#

@Awww, I wuv you Aximawawee!@

#*::blinks:: *You are a strange human.*#

@uh huh! ::grins::@

~^I'm scared!^~

RACHEL: ::still frantically looking through the desk.::

~I know my doodle that say "Chapman is Hot" is here SOMEWHERE!~

JAKE: ::in yard, ^Chanting.^ ~Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee~ looking at watch:: C'mon Rachel, let's go.

^He's gotta pee, rachel! HURRY UP SO HE CAN IMPREGNATE YOU!^

@#*Ewwww,*#@

RACHEL: ::hears CHAPMAN coming downstairs, morphs back to cat just before he gets to the basement::

JAKE: ::sees real cat go in house ^And makes no move to stop it.^:: Oh, man!

@Ha! Baka!@

CHAPMAN: ::sees RACHEL.:: Cat! ~second time.~ ^I guess either that cat has no name or Chapman is redundant^ @Or an ass,@ ::Goes over to a wall with tools on it, hits it, it opens like a door, walks through, RACHEL follows. Real cat slips in as door closes.::

::in a very dark room, ~::singing::I've feeling tired, baby, of trying to hold back this feelin' for so long. And if you feel, like I feel honey, ohh come on! Let's get it on...~ CHAPMAN turns on a holographic communication with VISSER THREE. RACHEL and cat are behind CHAPMAN::

CHAPMAN: ::bowing head:: Greetings, Visser.

^Where's the whole greeting ritual thing?^

~I feel so cheated.~

@#*Us too.*#@

VISSER THREE: You're late!

^No, you're early.^

CHAPMAN: My apologies, Visser. My hosts daughter was suspicious. These humans, frankly, I can't understand them. It won't happen again.

@Ha, betcha tomorrow he shows up an hour off schedule.@

VISSER THREE: It wouldn't happen at all if she were under Yeerk control.

~There's those subtile hints again~

@Subtle my ass!@

CHAPMAN: Sir, with all due ^Dis^respect--

VISSER THREE: Are you disagreeing with me?

~Yes. Americans have this thing called "Freedom of Speech", they use it alot.~

CHAPMAN: Oh, no, Visser. I-I didn't mean to--

~Now now, don't lie.~

VISSER THREE: Silence! The homing device operation was a fiasco. Our scientists have failed to unlock the disk. I want those Andalite bandits caught and the secret of the disk extracted from them. By force if necesary.

~::Blinks:: It's a Matellica CD. All you need to do is put it in a cd player and press play.~

@Yeesh, you Andalites can be so dumb Ax, some "high intellegent species."@

#*The Visser is an exception.*#

@Uh huh,@

CHAPMAN: Oh, yes, Visser. I'm ::steps backwards onto a cat's tail. Looks up at V3:: Cat! ~^Third time^~

@IT'S NAME IS MR. FLUFFLES!@

~I thought it was Fluffer McKitty!~

@::shrugs:: close enough.@
VISSER THREE: ::looks over at where both cat and RACHEL are now sitting:: Your host has twin cats?

@Doesn't everyone?@

CHAPMAN: ::looks up at VISSER THREE in amazment:: Andalite! #*Don;t hurt yourself there Chapman,*# ^He has a thing for one word sentences.^ But, which one?

VISSER THREE: No matter. Bring them both to me.

CHAPMAN: ::walks towards cats:: C'mere. Yes, good kitty. ~HE DIDN'T SAY CAT!~ ::one jumps down::

VISSER THREE: Yes! That's the one! Grab it!

CHAPMAN: ::grabs cat, who's RACHEL:: Gotcha! ::walks back in front of VISSER THREE::

^He grabbed the wrong cat.^

~Umm wouldn't the real cat have stayed while Rachel jumped down?~

VISSER THREE: When you bring that thing to me, bring your hosts' daughter along, I think it's time the girl joined us on our adventure, don't you? ::hologram blinks out::

::cut to JAKE sneaking around outside CHAPMAN'S house. Looks around corner of hosue to see CHAPMAN bringing RACHEL in cat carrier to van::

JAKE: ::when CHAPMAN starts van and starts to leave ^::Sings:: It's the little old lady from Pasadena! Go granny Go Granny Go granny go!^, he runs after it. Morphs homer::

~Brilliance. Why not just say 'I'm human, fuck me over.'~

#*Morphing right in the middle of the streetm, shame on you the "All Exaulted Leader."*#

@I mean really,@

CHAPMAN: ::approaches a huge house with a gate. Puts in a security code at a console near the gate:: Inuss two-two-six for Mr. Trent. ::red laser scans CHAPMAN'S ear, detects yeerk, allows him to pass. JAKE doesn't get through before gate closes, runs to fence and starts to dig under. CHAPMAN drives down a driveway with Hork-Bajir standing around. Carries RACHEL in cat carrier to courtyard, two men with flashlights come up next to him.::

JAKE: ::digs all the way under fence and gets to other side::

VISSER THREE: Inuss two-two-six.

CHAPMAN: Visser Three.

~WELL! Now that we've introduced ourselves...~

VISSER THREE: ::tail whips forward quite slowly by Andalite standards and slices head off a statue:: #*Ha! No kidding! At least whoever transcripted this knew better,*# @Wow, don't be on this guys bad side.@ ^Andalites are supposed to be faster than that, can't they pull a DBZ with this?^ I hope that cage contains the Andalite, otherwise it will soon contain your head. ~^OFF WITH HIS HEAD!^~

CHAPMAN: Yes, Visser. It does. ::brings carrier up to show V3::

JAKE: ::demorphs in bushes and watches::

~And does nothing to stop it, once again.~

VISSER THREE: Good evening. Heh heh heh, my appearance disturbs you. @Yes.@ ::morphs human. Looks himself over::. An inferior form, this Victor Trent. @#*AHH! EVEN WORSE!*#@ But the man's wealth and power makes him a useful tool. ::takes RACHEL out of carrier:: Save yourself some pain, Andalite. Return to your real form and we will get on with your infestation.

JAKE: ::whispers:: Hang in there, cousin.

^It takes major guts to admit that someone as freaky as this... THING... posing as Rachel is an actual family
member.^

VISSER THREE: ::puts RACHEL back in carrier:: Your Andalite pride is as absurd as the shape you're in. Well, yo
ur two hour time limit must almost be up. I shall wait one hour, then I will have you destroyed. Slowly. Take him away! ::looks up at CHAPMAN:: Now, onto our next piece of business, I believe you have something else that belongs to me?

@Yeah, my blow-up doll@

#::blushes, strangely his nose begins to bleed::#

@Muahaha@

CHAPMAN: I...I...

VISSER THREE: Let me refresh your memory. You brought your hosts' daughter, now go and get her.

CHAPMAN: I...

VISSER THREE: Is there some problem? ::yelling:: Bring me, the girl!

~Two words: Anger Management~

CHAPMAN:I...

VISSER THREE: You're starting to bore me, Inuss two-two-six, and let me tell you this, if you dont' like me when I'm angry, you're going to hate me when I'm bored.

JAKE: ::comes up in Homer morph and bites VISSER THREE, knocking him to the ground, runs to RACHEL, dodging controllers.::

VISSER THREE: It's another Andalite! Catch it!

JAKE: Rachel!

RACHEL: Jake! Watch out!

JAKE: ::controllers come and put a rope around his neck:: Rachel, they got me!

~Sadly, he doesn't look dead to me.~

@Awwww,@

RACHEL: Jake? I'm sorry.

@You should be dammit!@

JAKE: Don't worry. We're gonna get out of this ::controller ties him to a bench::

^And that is about as exciting as yeerk bondage gets.^

#::from the bathroom:: *That's scary*#

VISSER THREE: ::looks at CHAPMAN:: Now, two-two-six, I've had enough of your foolishness. ::walks away with CHAPMAN following behind::

RACHEL: ::trying to get paws through bars:: It's no use! I can't open it!

~No duh you dumb whore.~

@She's a true blond@

VISSER THREE: ::looking in CHAPMAN'S car window:: Where is she? Where is the girl?

CHAPMAN: That's what I was trying to tell you, Visser. Chapman, my host, volunteered for infestation under one condition, that his daughter be left alone.

VISSER THREE: ::steps right in front of CHAPMAN:: WHAT?! You struck a deal with one of these primate low lifes? ~^Heeeeeeeeey........................... no need for name calling, ya' dickhead.^~ We are Yeerks! NOT used-car salesman! ~Had me fooled, right Aquatta?~ @Oh yeah.@ We do not negotiate with these creatures. ^Okay, now he's staring to sound like AG talking about the people that go to her school.^ Understood?! ::walks away:: @::makes face:: aww now we all big an' bad an' shit? Kisama,@

CHAPMAN: ::looks after VISSER THREE:: No!

VISSER THREE: ::turns around:: What did you say?

CHAPMAN: NO!!! ::runs at VISSER THREE, knocks him down. ^Ax is right about one thing, humans are unstable creatures^ #*Damn straight,*# ~Mentally or physically.~ ^ the case of you and Aquatta? Both.^
@HEY! GRRR.....@ Other controllers run to help V3::

RACHEL: Jake! Now's our chance! My two hours are almost up!

JAKE: ::starts to pull at rope::

RACHEL: What're you doing?

JAKE: I'm gonna get this off

CHAPMAN: ::pulled off VISSER THREE by controllers:: LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE!

VISSER THREE: Hold him still.

CHAPMAN: NO!

VISSER THREE: ::puts hand over CHAPMANS face:: Regain your host, Inuss two-two-six, ::CHAPMAN shakes head 'no'::

@What is this, the freakin Vulcan Mind Meld?@

RACHEL: ::JAKE'S still pulling at rope:: Hurry, Jake!

VISSER THREE: That, is an order. Regain. Your. Host.

JAKE: ::breaks rope, runs to RACHEL'S cage, starts pulling at door::

RACHEL: That's it!

CHAPMAN: Yes. Yes, Visser.

@If someone just read that, that would sound really, really bad,@

#*Echi,*#

@What?@

VISSER THREE: ::Realeases CHAPMAN, gently pats him on the cheek:: ^I knew Visser Three infested a mafia lacky.^

@LOL@

RACHEL: ::JAKE pulls door open, she runs out:: Alright, Jake!

JAKE: Let's go, run!

VISSER THREE: Now, as for the Andalites...::looks back and sees JAKE and RACHEL running:: NO!!! ::turns to controllers:: Get them! I want them alive!

@Oh for Goddess' sake kill the bastards!@

JAKE: C'mon, Rachel! Move!

RACHEL: I'm right behind you!

JAKE: We're getting closer, let's go, hurry up!

RACHEL: I'm going as fast as I can!

~Oh my. If you didn't know what was going on as Jake and Rachel's roles were reversed, oh my god.......~

JAKE: C'mon, this way! They're right behind us, watch out! ::a controller fires a flashlight/dracon beam, hits a tree::

^They're shooting flashlights at us!^

~^::Look at eachother and giggle::^~

@Heehee@

#*I don't get it,*#

@S'all right, nose okay?@

#*I think so,*#

@Just be careful when you run into the bathroom, I think Daisuke-kun and Ken-kun were using it the other day,@

#::another nosebleed starts, runs to the bathroom::#

@Evil giggle@

TOBIAS: ::swoops down on controllers::

~BIIIIIIIIIRRD MAAAAANNN!~

JAKE: ::slides out under hole in the fence, RACHEL right behind::

::back to CHAPMAN and VISSER THREE::

VISSER THREE: ::looks at CHAPMAN:: Bring me the girl. Now.

CHAPMAN: May I make a suggestion, Visser?

VISSER THREE: Make it good, Inuss two-two-six.

CHAPMAN: Infesting the girl would only anger my host again. He could jepordize the secrecy of our mission. And if I may, her small size could ^Only be of use for releaving sexual fustration.^ @Ewww,@ be of little--

VISSER THREE:Enough. You've made your point. Alright, the Chapman girl shall remaind un-infested. For now, Inuss two-two-six, for now. ::to other controllers:: With me!

~^@::As a group of controllers, punching the air with their fists:: YEAH!@^~

@Hey Ax, are you allright?@

::cut to RACHEL and JAKE walking through woods. TOBIAS is on JAKE'S arm::

RACHEL: Wow, Melissa's dad went through all that to protect her.

JAKE: Sounds like she's going to be okay.

@Well she's in better hands than the world right now,@

#*Why do you say that?*#

@These guys are the ones sdaving the world.@

~^#*Oh. We're doomed.*#^~

@Exactly.@


RACHEL: I'm sorry I got you guys into this mess. ::takes piece of rope off from around JAKE'S neck ~Can't let Cassie know you're into bondage or she'll become out of control.~:: It's my fault and I don't blame you if you're mad.

JAKE: Mad? I'm not mad ^He's seething and furious.^ ~But not mad.~, Tobias, are you mad?

TOBIAS: I'm impressed.

~He lies.~

@Like a dog!@

JAKE: What you did took major guts.

^I can see her liver!^

@#*Ewww,*#@

RACHEL: Thanks, but you guys helped.

JAKE: Well, what are friends for if they can't rescue you from evil space slugs? ::all giggle::

~Let's see, MiSTing tacky shows with you, maybe?~

^Saving you from being lame-asses?^

@For these sorry souls, too late. Only their book-selfs were
salvagable. ::grins::@

#*Hey! We're not that bad!*#

@::grins:: eyah because we saved you guys from being lame. ::ducks a
swipe at her head::@

RACHEL: Well, it wasn't a total loss. We definetly know the yeerks have Elfangor's disk and don't know how to work it. They think we do.

~Which is just stupidity on their part!~

^It's just a CD, you put it in the CD Player and push PLAY!^

~It's not that hard!!!~

#*Yeah really,*#

@And people tell me I'm dumb,@

JAKE: Then they're in for a long wait. I'll see you guys tomorrow. ::TOBIAS hops over to RACHEL'S arm::

RACHEL:Goodnight, cuz.

^Tacky 80's slang users are on the move!^

~HEY! I USE 80's SLANG TOOO, YA' KNOW!!!~

@YEAH! BACK OFF MARCO!@

#*What's slang?*#

@I'll explain later,@

JAKE: Goodnight, Rach.

TOBIAS: Later.

RACHEL: Are you okay?

TOBIAS: Yeah. It's not so bad being a bird. No school, no homework, no curfew. ~^No sex life.^~ @::snicker::@

RACHEL: Remember that picture my sister took of us? ::flashes of SARA taking the picture of RACHEL and TOBIAS. RACHEL gets picture out of her pocket::

TOBIAS: Don't! Don't show it to me.

~Take it easy, it's just your school ID.~

@No, he's complaining because it's bad enough he has to look Rachel in
the face,@

RACHEL: No, I think you should look at it. ::holds picture where TOBIAS can see it:: The guy in that picture is still you, and we're going to get him back. Inside your hawk's body, Tobias still exists. Don't ever forget that, okay?

^We need SOME hope of her getting laid, maybe then she won't be as STUPID as she is now.^

~Maybe, but you know it's never gonna happen.~

@It won't. She may be blond, but that just may be her problem.@

TOBIAS: Maybe I want to forget it.

^He has more teenage angst than Matt from first season Digimon.^

~Don't tell Matt that. He sensitive about such things.~

&YEAH!&

@Matero go back to your room!@

RACHEL: ::sighs:: Goodnight, Tobias.

TOBIAS: ::flys off::

RACHEL: ::whispering:: Goodnight, Tobias.

~That scene was brought to you by the Department of Redundacy Department~

::next day at school::

^~@AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SCENE CHANGE!@~^

MELISSA: ::runs up stairs, gets a notebook out of her backpack. RACHEL, who's coming down another flight of stairs, sees her and stops. A note falls out of MELISSA'S notebook. She reads it. ~If it's Sap, I'm going to beg for my death.~ ^Ditto.^ @Yeah@ #*Sap?*# @Read any of my digimon yaoi@ It says: 'Melissa Your father loves you more than you know, only he can't show it. A Friend.'::

^~TAKE US NOW, LORD!~^

@::sighs:: Oh stop being such a wuss, you know she's starting to remind
me of those damn people who flame me but don't have the balls to leave their
email so I can justify myself!@

#*Referring to GW AGAIN?*#

@::blushes and sweatdrops:: No....@

RACHEL: Melissa! ::runs down stairs to meet her:: Hey.

MELISSA: Wanna walk home?

RACHEL: Yeah.

~::singing:: Baby won't you walk me home. I don't wanna go away alone.~

^GAH! NO MANDY MOORE!^

~Why not?~

^She is not to be wasted on such trash like those two!^

~Fair enough.~

@I will not comment, I will not comment,@

RACHEL VO: I know I probably shouldn't have written that note. ~It made me ill writing it so maybe it was a very bad move.~ Jake would say it's too risky. Marco, would just say it's sappy. ^And he'd be right!^ ~for once~ ^What's THAT supposed to mean?!^ @#::snickers::#@ But Melissa's dad gave up everything to save her from becoming a controller. ~Funny, they don't LOOK poor, homeless, or like druggies to me... maybe with the exception of that last one...~ And even if she never knows the truth, at least she knows he loves her. Isn't that what we're really fighting for anyway? For the people we love. ~Which is why he's on the Bad Guy's side?~ And that's why someday, we'll win.

~Actully, this is the reason you're show got CANCELED!~

~^::Laughs evilly::^~


@::rolls eyes:: oh Goddess is that even the corniest ending! Jeez!@