SHADOW OF THE IMPALER-THE DEADLY TRUTH
"This is indeed Gaelic, which I happen to speak quite well, if I do say so myself."
So proclaimed Professor Albert Van Helsing to his student, Dr. Eve. She smiled happily at the professor.
"Great, Professor! I told Monsieur Ash and Professor Oak that you could translate these scrolls as easily as le Meine flows!"
"I'll have a translation for you in about half-an-hour. Do you have some business to attend to?"
She smiled and nodded, leaving the Briton to his work.
The septuagenarian peered through his glasses at the scroll as he scribbled down the English version. He had to stop every now and then to put down the pen and flex his hand.
He hummed a little to himself as he wrote down the words, an old English drinking song learned in his youth, which he often spent in pubs between speeding past tests that the old men (the irony!) with glasses, black robes, and drooping faces had tossed onto his desk.
That was before the call came that his grandfather was lying in a hospital in Blackpool, dying.
Before what the Van Helsing family called "the Knowledge" came onto his shoulders that would soon rapidly age…
"When you get right down to it," said Ambrose Van Helsing, with a heavy bound notebook in an emaciated right hand that amazingly seemed to radiate strength, "Jewels, gold, silver…such things are temporary on this earth. Now, don't give me that mocking look, my boy; all things deteriorate to give birth to new things. My grandfather's corpse is feeding the grass that feeds the rabbit that feeds the hunter that kills it who then goes into the loo and…"
"Grandfather!" cried young Albert, while Ambrose playfully nudged the boy from his bed. The boy had always felt very close to his grandfather, who lived as an aristocrat but could be as comfortable in the dockyards as a mansion in Nottingham.
"But let me tell you something that is permanent, son: blood.
"You've read your Bible and worshipped at the Church and prayed for victory, haven't you? If we are all from Eve's womb then we're all basically a massive family inbreeding ourselves into oblivion, as the disease striking our Royal Families every now and then show*.
"If, like Father Darwin says**, we evolved, then we still share the same past as a single bloody organism as tiny as a bacterium.
"Even old Winnie, over in London, did you know he's a distant cousin of President Roosevelt in America***?
Blood is a bond stronger than any steel chain ever molded. Blood is what unites us all, Albert. And this book proves it."
Ambrose handed Albert the book, which title Albert immediately read out loud:
"The Vampire: Studies and Contemplations by Professor Abraham Van Helsing, M.D."
Albert looked up at his grandfather, with an odd face. Ambrose smirked at him knowingly and motioned for him to open it.
Albert just shook his head as he read through the first few notes in his great-grandfather's book.
"Grandfather. I don't understand, what is…"
"The point? The point is that everything in that book is real!"
…And so, he knew it all.
"There, done!" He put the pen down and examined his work.
And behold, He shall raise them to a height above normal men and give them gifts of wisdom and long life.
But, as their numbers increase, so shall their vanity.
And He shall look upon them and be displeased. He shall choose One to raise
above them and shall make him greater than they. But lo, there shall be two
challenges set against this Chosen One.
Beware, for the darkness within may overcome him, and
another will be chosen to smite him.
Should the Chosen One survive the first test, He shall
smile upon this One, and drive all darkness from this One's body.
But lo, as foretold there shall be a second test. But
there shall be another of his kind; chosen by He Who Rules the Skies. Together,
they shall vanquish this evil one, and the Chosen One shall become the Father
of a New Destiny.
Van Helsing felt very pleased with himself. It wasn't every day that a seventy-seven year-old man could translate an ancient document in fifteen minutes.
But then he took a closer look at the yellowing and the frailty of the scroll…
Eve returned from her dig at the agreed time. She was always pleased to have new mysteries to uncover. Who knows? Perhaps the scrolls could lead to more information about Pokemopolis!
She entered the Oak Mansion and was about to call out her greeting when she saw the Professor standing on the stairs, his hand on the banister as he looked down at her.
"Professor! Is it finished?"
Van Helsing nodded, he seemed somewhat disappointed, judging from the sag of his shoulders.
"Professor, what's wrong?"
He looked into her eyes before dropping the bomb.
"Dr. Eve, the scroll I just translated is a complete forgery."
*Royal Families back in the 18th and 19th centuries had married close relatives so often that weird diseases started to pop up. George III was a victim of this, signified by his mental deterioration, blue urine, and eventual blindness. A more tragic example is that of Prince Alexei of Russia in the 1900s, who suffered from a disease that prevented clotting, meaning the very real danger of him bleeding to death.
**Charles Darwin was actually a Priest of the Church of England, pretty ironic when you consider that it's mostly the Church that objects to his theory.
***It's true! No kidding!