PART X
"Yeah, it's me."
"Nishikado-kun?"
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"Oh, I can't believe this! YOU don't remember my voice?"
"Uh... um... of course I remember your voice...! How could I forget, when we shared that wonderful night together?"
"..."
"...You're not mad, are you? I'm sorry I haven't called... I searched everywhere for your number, but I must have misplaced it..."
"Nishikado-kun..."
"Yes, darling?"
"It's O'okawahara."
".......................................oh."
"What?! You're in New York!?"
"Ehh... didn't Hanazawa-kun tell you?"
"Rui? Hey, Rui... did you talk to Shigeru?"
(in the background) "Huh?"
A pause.
"He says he thought he dreamed that."
"...."
"You're kidding me. So that's what happened, huh?"
"'And they all lived happily ever after...'"
"Heh, isn't that something. So where are they right now?"
"Oh, who knows. They're probably out painting the town red."
And indeed they were.
Tsukushi squealed as the ice sprayed sparks into her face. Behind her, a cursing Tsukasa sat in a heap, unable to balance for a half-second without falling over. Sighing, she skated back to him, stretched out her hand, and did her best to pull his massive frame around. Then he fell forward, and with a shriek, she ended up tangled beneath him on the ice. Rockefeller Center laughed.
Somewhat befuddled, and toting several articles of clothing, one dragging behind her obstinately, Tsukushi limped her way into the dressing room. Tsukasa snorted and sat impatiently, muttering things about bargain shopping and places he'd never be caught dead in if it weren't for a certain someone. But then when she came back out wearing a navy blue gown, all the words died in his throat and he stammered incoherently, a red-faced ape.
It took all his strength to pull Tsukushi off the curb and into the theatre - she wanted to look at all the flashing lights and passing limousines some more. But by forty-five minutes into the show, she was wiping tears from her eyes, sitting forward in her seat intently. All this without understanding a word of the script. Tsukasa, who could understand, rolled his eyes with boredom and contented himself with watching her shimmering profile in the dark as her expression changed with the changing keys of the music.
Pulling his hand, Tsukushi pointed to the lavish horse and carriage waiting for customers by the roadside. Tsukasa's eyes were on the trail the horse had obviously left on his way there. "Makino! It'll stink!" he snapped. But he couldn't resist her starry eyes, and off they went, although halfway through the ride she ended up agreeing with him.
"Gyeh..."
But oh, how they laughed about it anyway... how loudly...
...and how freely...!
The horse whinnied obstinately as it passed through Central Park, the occupants of the white carriage behind it relaxing into the rhythm of the ride. Tsukushi's eyes had glittered so much at every turn and every sight that she had finally become a little tired, and was sitting up straight with her eyes closed, listening to the rhythmic hoofbeats and the muted din of the city surrounding them. She sighed happily.
Tsukasa held her hand loosely, leaning back against the seat of the carriage. She'd worn that same navy gown to the theatre, and he'd been jealous whenever anyone gave her a passing glance. How could he help it, though, to think that other men would get a glimpse of the things he considered his own? Why should he tolerate anyone else's appreciation of turn of her leg, the curve of her waist, the delicious opening where her neck met her shoulders that called out for his lips even now...
Tsukushi froze when she felt the touch of his fingers on the back of her neck. But as quickly as she tensed up, she relaxed again. There was nothing to fear, just a simple, idle caress from him - something comforting. His fingertips danced on her skin for a moment and then slid across her shoulders to find a secure hold. The hand that held hers loosened its grasp, interwove its fingers with hers, and then traveled up her arm to hold it as well.
And then Tsukushi gave a little squeal and winced as she felt a wild, blooming sensation shiver across her body. It was the warmth of his mouth on her neck, moist and urgent lips tracing patterns and seeking treasure on her skin. She took a shuddering breath inward, unable for a moment to say a thing. Her strength began to drain away, as it always did whenever he touched her, and she found herself falling backwards into his embrace.
Encouraged, he wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck deeply and letting his lips and tongue play across the silken, delicious fields of her skin. Her head arched to the side, as though giving him room to roam, and she let a wordless sound fly into the night air. Slowly, her head turned, and he captured her lips for a searing moment. She moaned involuntarily into the kiss, and inspired by the sound, he returned to exploring her neck with his hungry mouth. She was warm and tasted so good, and he wanted more... without knowing what he was doing, he edged the fabric of her dress to the side so he could kiss her there.
At this, she snapped awake. "Hey....!" she said, jerking away. "What do you think you're doing in public?"
He winced, suddenly empty arms convulsing around air. "Give me a break," he pleaded. "We're in New York. Can't I act a little bit like a Gaijin while I'm here?"
"That's not the problem!" she said in a stage-whisper, batting him slightly on the arm. His eyes widened when she turned to him, as he saw how flushed her face was, and how quickly her shoulders shook as she drew in short, erratic breaths. Heat ripped through him and he wanted to grab her and kiss her right there.
But he couldn't, not after she'd just complained about that very thing. So he sat on his hands, blushing, trying to think about anything but how much he wanted her. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Sorry."
Her heart melted at seeing his hopelessly frustrated expression. "Doumyouji," she started, unable to supress a little giggle.
"Damn it, don't laugh at me!" he burst out, waving a fist at her angrily.
She caught his flying hand in midair, relaxed it, and interlaced her fingers with his. "I'm not laughing at you," she said in a gentle voice, smiling disarmingly and looking straight into his eyes. She closed her other hand over his, one warm hand covered by two. He felt enveloped by her warmth, and his control wavered.
"Damn it, Makino..." he growled, shaking his head. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"
"Huh?"
He blushed even redder, and he had trouble meeting her gaze. "I know we've finally gotten to go out in public without hiding," he said with the air of a guilty schoolboy admitting his folly, "but I can't help but think I'd like to get you all to myself..." The color in his cheeks reached a boiling point, and he had to look away. "But hey," he said louder than was necessary, "you just said you're not into that stuff, so there's nothing I can do about it if you don't want to..."
He was interrupted by Tsukushi's hand on his face. With steady, even, gentle pressure, she turned his head back to face her again, and as he did, his eyes opened to the sensation of a kindred heat to his own. Her cheeks were just as red, her gaze just as piercing as his had been before. And when she opened her mouth to speak, he lost all his power and could only gaze at her with wide, bright eyes.
"I didn't say I didn't want to..."
Tsukushi knew exactly why they were here. Her face felt so hot it might have burned to the touch, and her breaths threaded shakily into her lungs as they walked across the marble floors. But Tsukasa placed his hand on her shoulder, gently, and it felt like a lifeline she could hang onto when her feet were dangling free in the air far above the abyss.
"Are you all right?" he asked in a gentle voice, and through the haze of heat, she looked at him and nodded. His eyes reassured her silently.
He was gentle all the way across the lobby and into the elevator, but as soon as the heavy brass doors began to close, something in the delicate balance keeping them apart broke, and the vacuum between them was sucked away. As the elevator started to ascend, they kissed desperately, madly, feeling as though they were rocketing up through the atmosphere toward distant stars. Tsukushi clung to him for dear life as his kiss ignited nitrogen fires deep inside her, threatening to make her explode from within. She felt as if she was going mad, like she was drinking sweet, sweet wine. She had never had a kiss like this before.
But then the elevator came to a halt and reminded them with a slight push of gravity that they had arrived. Almost before she was ready, Tsukushi felt Tsukasa move away from her, and as he took her hand and began to lead her down the hall, she wasn't sure she had stopped reaching for him. Her lips, her hands, called out to continue. In her head was nothing but a constant replay, and a voice whispering the word 'sweet, sweet' over and over again. And just as though for something infinitely sweet, Tsukushi felt an overwhelming hunger.
His hands fumbled nervously with the key, having trouble fitting it into the lock, but with a click the door finally opened, and Tsukushi found herself in the doorway of the most lavish hotel room she could possibly imagine. Flowers adorned the corners, and at the foot of the bed with its ivory, glistening sheets sat an ornate bench with equally silvery cushions. The curtains lay wide open, and all the glistening lights of New York sparkled in the glass, most of them far below. Tsukushi thought she must be on top of the world. She flew to the window and stared in open-mouthed wonder.
"So pretty..." she gasped, feeling flighty and on edge, her heart still hammering in her chest.
Tsukasa stood behind her at a distance, watching her with the casual luxury of a man who had all the time in the world. "It all belongs to us," he said in a quiet voice.
She turned back to him and made a face. "You're not THAT rich."
"Money's got nothing to do with it," he said, approaching her. He ran his hands over the smooth curtain of her hair. "Even if I had nothing, all those lights out there were made just for us," he whispered into her ear. "The whole world, Makino, is out there just so we can be together in it. It belongs to us."
She giggled at his absurd display of sentiment. "Doumyouji..."
"You called me 'Tsukasa' in front of my father," he reminded her.
She turned bright red. "Y... yeah, but... it would have been weird to tell someone named Doumyouji that I wanted to be with Doumyouji when it wasn't that Doumyouji, and..." Her hands flew into the air, and she gestured frantically, trying to come up with a suitable explanation.
He brought his hands to her face and kissed her lips. "Say 'Tsukasa,'" he implored.
"Why?" Her heart pounded, and she felt those strong tides of passion drawing her in toward him.
His breath against her face was just a little ragged. "Please," he said.
She closed her eyes, feeling like her whole body was about to turn to something red and liquid. She wanted to melt like a flood against him, let her face drift upwards to his like rising smoke from a candle. It took real effort to part her lips and speak. "Tsukasa." She said it softly, but with no hesitation or stammering.
He looked down at her up-tilted face, lowered his own head so his forehead rested on hers, and gazed at her with clear, bright eyes. "Thank you," he said. His lips were less than an inch from hers. Unable to resist, she strained upwards to close the gap, and at the feel of it he reached out to pull her in and hold her tight. She clung to him, her fingers fluttering on the back of his neck.
"Now if I could only get you to say it without having to think about it," he said, his voice laced with fire.
"I wonder how you could do that." She was surprised at the coquette inside of her, but somehow the teasing words found their way out, and she blushed at her own innuendo.
He sighed, long and deep, a sigh that was nearly a groan. Her expression changed, and she looked up at him with round, worried eyes. His arms tightened around her, drawing her into a fast embrace, and she found her face pressed against his shoulder. Her eyes stared blankly at the wall behind him, no longer seeing, just open as her senses registered the power of the embrace. Her hands trembled a little on his neck.
He let out several puffs of breath before he could speak. When the words came out, they were heavy and forceful. Even he shook as he spoke them.
"I want you."
But there was no gap before she replied.
"You have me."
The sight of his bare skin had made her heart flutter before, but never like this. The sheets were so cool around her, caressing the skin of her shoulders, making her feel like a part of a floating white cloud somewhere in the skies over Eden. He had looked at her a long time before coming over to join her, tumbling his clothes into a pile on the floor beside hers. She had seen the longing and delight in his eyes, and it made her feel less small, less scared as she showed herself to him for the first time. They caressed each other with their eyes, with long, leisurely glances, before the first real caress began.
This time, when his fingers burned her skin with their touch, there was no pain. This time, when her head started to leave her and her body started to glow, there was no regret. And there was no place his hands didn't reach, with their burning searing fingertips, and there was no place his lips didn't follow... even when she thought she'd drown with the feeling of his lips everywhere, everywhere... so everywhere that noise burst out of space and became his name, golden in the golden room, like fireworks hanging in the sky...
"tsu....Tsukasa...!!"
And as the spangles faded he touched his forehead to hers, touched his lips to hers, touched his soul to hers... a nexus of warmth between their faces... he kissed even the sweat from her brow...
"You called me Tsukasa..." he whispered.
"Yeah..." she breathed, as though just realizing it herself.
"Tell me you love me..."
"I love you..."
Kissing her jaw... "Tell me again..."
Gasping... "I love you..."
Kissing her neck... "Again..."
Annoyance now. "Tsukasa!"
The sensation of his lips against her neck curving into a smile...
And then her heart leapt into her throat like an anxious hummingbird as he said, soft, low, true:
"Tsukushi."
And all at once she knew the wonder he must have felt when she had called out his name.
She pulled him up to her, kissed him long and deep, feeling so close to him, so in love with him she was frightened... but oh what delicious fear, as her heart raced faster and faster, madder and madder, and her skin pulsed with his every touch as though it was itself a heartbeat.
He murmured her name again and again, and each repetition was like a kiss, like a caress in itself, and she cried out with the feeling of it - the sound of her name resonating against her neck, between her breasts, into the palm of her hand... and she felt the power of him so strongly above her, beside her... but still he avoided, delayed that one moment when there would be no turning back, although the spirits deep within her called out for it... and she writhed in agony under the blinding heat of his presence, his love burning holes through her, piercing her with arrows of light that it hurt to see. Her voice called out despite herself.
"Tsukasa, _please_..."
And that's when he allowed himself to come home to her, and despite the pain she welcomed him joyfully, fully, all the doors opening within her light-infused heart and body. She saw the swinging pinpricks of the stars, or the New York city lights, or both, spin in arcs of dizzy madness above her head. She thought he must be melting into her, or she him. She wasn't sure anymore where she ended and he began. But it didn't matter, not now, not when the world was like a spinning star going faster and faster around itself until the very space around it, the very fire within it, exploded into and upon itself--
a supernova--
and white-hot stardust filled the dark caverns of space with fast-fading warmth, warmth that pulsed into the beyond on and on into eternity, creating a new galaxy, a new world, a new forever...
...and that world was, indeed, made just for them.
"Tsukasa..." she whispered, nibbling idly on his ear.
He stirred, pulled her in. "What?"
"What do you want to do now?"
She could feel his jawline move as he grinned. "The same thing again."
"I don't mean that," she said in a voice she knew would be a little too loud. He winced, and she quieted somewhat. "Where do you want to go from here?"
He rolled over, pulled her to him, their skin singing as they touched. "I don't know," he said lazily. "I was thinking of going home."
"Home?" Her heart skipped a beat. She had often felt the aching tug of homesickness while she'd been here, but now it hit her stronger than ever. There were so many faces she wanted to see... the smiles on the faces of their mutual friends when they returned together... the annoyance in her brother's scowl as he chewed her out for leaving him alone... the gentle smile of her best friend as she told her everything that had happened.
Normality. The beautiful truth of the things she had lost and found again. Tsukushi sighed. Even seeking a simple life, she realized, she had complicated so much herself that the whole world had faded into confusion, and she had lost sight of what it was she'd been looking for.
But what could be more simple than this? In the darkness, being held by the one she loved, dreaming of home. Suddenly the phrase she'd used to describe her life meant something entirely different. It meant that she had traveled through the forest of tall, proud cherry trees, and though she had nearly lost her way among the snow-white eternity of beauty, in the end she had not let their proud and ostentatious blossoms deter her from her true goal. The truly important things were hers to take and cherish, from this night on, and as far into the future as she could dare to dream. And she would stay true to that motto that rang in the back of her brain - she would never let them go again.
She lay against Tsukasa's shoulder and closed her eyes.
"Hana yori dango," she murmured.
--thank you tsukushi and tenshi my beta readers, and everyone on the hydml, and kamio yoko, and T&T forever and ever and ever and ever--
"Yeah, it's me."
"Nishikado-kun?"
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"Oh, I can't believe this! YOU don't remember my voice?"
"Uh... um... of course I remember your voice...! How could I forget, when we shared that wonderful night together?"
"..."
"...You're not mad, are you? I'm sorry I haven't called... I searched everywhere for your number, but I must have misplaced it..."
"Nishikado-kun..."
"Yes, darling?"
"It's O'okawahara."
".......................................oh."
"What?! You're in New York!?"
"Ehh... didn't Hanazawa-kun tell you?"
"Rui? Hey, Rui... did you talk to Shigeru?"
(in the background) "Huh?"
A pause.
"He says he thought he dreamed that."
"...."
"You're kidding me. So that's what happened, huh?"
"'And they all lived happily ever after...'"
"Heh, isn't that something. So where are they right now?"
"Oh, who knows. They're probably out painting the town red."
And indeed they were.
Tsukushi squealed as the ice sprayed sparks into her face. Behind her, a cursing Tsukasa sat in a heap, unable to balance for a half-second without falling over. Sighing, she skated back to him, stretched out her hand, and did her best to pull his massive frame around. Then he fell forward, and with a shriek, she ended up tangled beneath him on the ice. Rockefeller Center laughed.
Somewhat befuddled, and toting several articles of clothing, one dragging behind her obstinately, Tsukushi limped her way into the dressing room. Tsukasa snorted and sat impatiently, muttering things about bargain shopping and places he'd never be caught dead in if it weren't for a certain someone. But then when she came back out wearing a navy blue gown, all the words died in his throat and he stammered incoherently, a red-faced ape.
It took all his strength to pull Tsukushi off the curb and into the theatre - she wanted to look at all the flashing lights and passing limousines some more. But by forty-five minutes into the show, she was wiping tears from her eyes, sitting forward in her seat intently. All this without understanding a word of the script. Tsukasa, who could understand, rolled his eyes with boredom and contented himself with watching her shimmering profile in the dark as her expression changed with the changing keys of the music.
Pulling his hand, Tsukushi pointed to the lavish horse and carriage waiting for customers by the roadside. Tsukasa's eyes were on the trail the horse had obviously left on his way there. "Makino! It'll stink!" he snapped. But he couldn't resist her starry eyes, and off they went, although halfway through the ride she ended up agreeing with him.
"Gyeh..."
But oh, how they laughed about it anyway... how loudly...
...and how freely...!
The horse whinnied obstinately as it passed through Central Park, the occupants of the white carriage behind it relaxing into the rhythm of the ride. Tsukushi's eyes had glittered so much at every turn and every sight that she had finally become a little tired, and was sitting up straight with her eyes closed, listening to the rhythmic hoofbeats and the muted din of the city surrounding them. She sighed happily.
Tsukasa held her hand loosely, leaning back against the seat of the carriage. She'd worn that same navy gown to the theatre, and he'd been jealous whenever anyone gave her a passing glance. How could he help it, though, to think that other men would get a glimpse of the things he considered his own? Why should he tolerate anyone else's appreciation of turn of her leg, the curve of her waist, the delicious opening where her neck met her shoulders that called out for his lips even now...
Tsukushi froze when she felt the touch of his fingers on the back of her neck. But as quickly as she tensed up, she relaxed again. There was nothing to fear, just a simple, idle caress from him - something comforting. His fingertips danced on her skin for a moment and then slid across her shoulders to find a secure hold. The hand that held hers loosened its grasp, interwove its fingers with hers, and then traveled up her arm to hold it as well.
And then Tsukushi gave a little squeal and winced as she felt a wild, blooming sensation shiver across her body. It was the warmth of his mouth on her neck, moist and urgent lips tracing patterns and seeking treasure on her skin. She took a shuddering breath inward, unable for a moment to say a thing. Her strength began to drain away, as it always did whenever he touched her, and she found herself falling backwards into his embrace.
Encouraged, he wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck deeply and letting his lips and tongue play across the silken, delicious fields of her skin. Her head arched to the side, as though giving him room to roam, and she let a wordless sound fly into the night air. Slowly, her head turned, and he captured her lips for a searing moment. She moaned involuntarily into the kiss, and inspired by the sound, he returned to exploring her neck with his hungry mouth. She was warm and tasted so good, and he wanted more... without knowing what he was doing, he edged the fabric of her dress to the side so he could kiss her there.
At this, she snapped awake. "Hey....!" she said, jerking away. "What do you think you're doing in public?"
He winced, suddenly empty arms convulsing around air. "Give me a break," he pleaded. "We're in New York. Can't I act a little bit like a Gaijin while I'm here?"
"That's not the problem!" she said in a stage-whisper, batting him slightly on the arm. His eyes widened when she turned to him, as he saw how flushed her face was, and how quickly her shoulders shook as she drew in short, erratic breaths. Heat ripped through him and he wanted to grab her and kiss her right there.
But he couldn't, not after she'd just complained about that very thing. So he sat on his hands, blushing, trying to think about anything but how much he wanted her. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Sorry."
Her heart melted at seeing his hopelessly frustrated expression. "Doumyouji," she started, unable to supress a little giggle.
"Damn it, don't laugh at me!" he burst out, waving a fist at her angrily.
She caught his flying hand in midair, relaxed it, and interlaced her fingers with his. "I'm not laughing at you," she said in a gentle voice, smiling disarmingly and looking straight into his eyes. She closed her other hand over his, one warm hand covered by two. He felt enveloped by her warmth, and his control wavered.
"Damn it, Makino..." he growled, shaking his head. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"
"Huh?"
He blushed even redder, and he had trouble meeting her gaze. "I know we've finally gotten to go out in public without hiding," he said with the air of a guilty schoolboy admitting his folly, "but I can't help but think I'd like to get you all to myself..." The color in his cheeks reached a boiling point, and he had to look away. "But hey," he said louder than was necessary, "you just said you're not into that stuff, so there's nothing I can do about it if you don't want to..."
He was interrupted by Tsukushi's hand on his face. With steady, even, gentle pressure, she turned his head back to face her again, and as he did, his eyes opened to the sensation of a kindred heat to his own. Her cheeks were just as red, her gaze just as piercing as his had been before. And when she opened her mouth to speak, he lost all his power and could only gaze at her with wide, bright eyes.
"I didn't say I didn't want to..."
Tsukushi knew exactly why they were here. Her face felt so hot it might have burned to the touch, and her breaths threaded shakily into her lungs as they walked across the marble floors. But Tsukasa placed his hand on her shoulder, gently, and it felt like a lifeline she could hang onto when her feet were dangling free in the air far above the abyss.
"Are you all right?" he asked in a gentle voice, and through the haze of heat, she looked at him and nodded. His eyes reassured her silently.
He was gentle all the way across the lobby and into the elevator, but as soon as the heavy brass doors began to close, something in the delicate balance keeping them apart broke, and the vacuum between them was sucked away. As the elevator started to ascend, they kissed desperately, madly, feeling as though they were rocketing up through the atmosphere toward distant stars. Tsukushi clung to him for dear life as his kiss ignited nitrogen fires deep inside her, threatening to make her explode from within. She felt as if she was going mad, like she was drinking sweet, sweet wine. She had never had a kiss like this before.
But then the elevator came to a halt and reminded them with a slight push of gravity that they had arrived. Almost before she was ready, Tsukushi felt Tsukasa move away from her, and as he took her hand and began to lead her down the hall, she wasn't sure she had stopped reaching for him. Her lips, her hands, called out to continue. In her head was nothing but a constant replay, and a voice whispering the word 'sweet, sweet' over and over again. And just as though for something infinitely sweet, Tsukushi felt an overwhelming hunger.
His hands fumbled nervously with the key, having trouble fitting it into the lock, but with a click the door finally opened, and Tsukushi found herself in the doorway of the most lavish hotel room she could possibly imagine. Flowers adorned the corners, and at the foot of the bed with its ivory, glistening sheets sat an ornate bench with equally silvery cushions. The curtains lay wide open, and all the glistening lights of New York sparkled in the glass, most of them far below. Tsukushi thought she must be on top of the world. She flew to the window and stared in open-mouthed wonder.
"So pretty..." she gasped, feeling flighty and on edge, her heart still hammering in her chest.
Tsukasa stood behind her at a distance, watching her with the casual luxury of a man who had all the time in the world. "It all belongs to us," he said in a quiet voice.
She turned back to him and made a face. "You're not THAT rich."
"Money's got nothing to do with it," he said, approaching her. He ran his hands over the smooth curtain of her hair. "Even if I had nothing, all those lights out there were made just for us," he whispered into her ear. "The whole world, Makino, is out there just so we can be together in it. It belongs to us."
She giggled at his absurd display of sentiment. "Doumyouji..."
"You called me 'Tsukasa' in front of my father," he reminded her.
She turned bright red. "Y... yeah, but... it would have been weird to tell someone named Doumyouji that I wanted to be with Doumyouji when it wasn't that Doumyouji, and..." Her hands flew into the air, and she gestured frantically, trying to come up with a suitable explanation.
He brought his hands to her face and kissed her lips. "Say 'Tsukasa,'" he implored.
"Why?" Her heart pounded, and she felt those strong tides of passion drawing her in toward him.
His breath against her face was just a little ragged. "Please," he said.
She closed her eyes, feeling like her whole body was about to turn to something red and liquid. She wanted to melt like a flood against him, let her face drift upwards to his like rising smoke from a candle. It took real effort to part her lips and speak. "Tsukasa." She said it softly, but with no hesitation or stammering.
He looked down at her up-tilted face, lowered his own head so his forehead rested on hers, and gazed at her with clear, bright eyes. "Thank you," he said. His lips were less than an inch from hers. Unable to resist, she strained upwards to close the gap, and at the feel of it he reached out to pull her in and hold her tight. She clung to him, her fingers fluttering on the back of his neck.
"Now if I could only get you to say it without having to think about it," he said, his voice laced with fire.
"I wonder how you could do that." She was surprised at the coquette inside of her, but somehow the teasing words found their way out, and she blushed at her own innuendo.
He sighed, long and deep, a sigh that was nearly a groan. Her expression changed, and she looked up at him with round, worried eyes. His arms tightened around her, drawing her into a fast embrace, and she found her face pressed against his shoulder. Her eyes stared blankly at the wall behind him, no longer seeing, just open as her senses registered the power of the embrace. Her hands trembled a little on his neck.
He let out several puffs of breath before he could speak. When the words came out, they were heavy and forceful. Even he shook as he spoke them.
"I want you."
But there was no gap before she replied.
"You have me."
The sight of his bare skin had made her heart flutter before, but never like this. The sheets were so cool around her, caressing the skin of her shoulders, making her feel like a part of a floating white cloud somewhere in the skies over Eden. He had looked at her a long time before coming over to join her, tumbling his clothes into a pile on the floor beside hers. She had seen the longing and delight in his eyes, and it made her feel less small, less scared as she showed herself to him for the first time. They caressed each other with their eyes, with long, leisurely glances, before the first real caress began.
This time, when his fingers burned her skin with their touch, there was no pain. This time, when her head started to leave her and her body started to glow, there was no regret. And there was no place his hands didn't reach, with their burning searing fingertips, and there was no place his lips didn't follow... even when she thought she'd drown with the feeling of his lips everywhere, everywhere... so everywhere that noise burst out of space and became his name, golden in the golden room, like fireworks hanging in the sky...
"tsu....Tsukasa...!!"
And as the spangles faded he touched his forehead to hers, touched his lips to hers, touched his soul to hers... a nexus of warmth between their faces... he kissed even the sweat from her brow...
"You called me Tsukasa..." he whispered.
"Yeah..." she breathed, as though just realizing it herself.
"Tell me you love me..."
"I love you..."
Kissing her jaw... "Tell me again..."
Gasping... "I love you..."
Kissing her neck... "Again..."
Annoyance now. "Tsukasa!"
The sensation of his lips against her neck curving into a smile...
And then her heart leapt into her throat like an anxious hummingbird as he said, soft, low, true:
"Tsukushi."
And all at once she knew the wonder he must have felt when she had called out his name.
She pulled him up to her, kissed him long and deep, feeling so close to him, so in love with him she was frightened... but oh what delicious fear, as her heart raced faster and faster, madder and madder, and her skin pulsed with his every touch as though it was itself a heartbeat.
He murmured her name again and again, and each repetition was like a kiss, like a caress in itself, and she cried out with the feeling of it - the sound of her name resonating against her neck, between her breasts, into the palm of her hand... and she felt the power of him so strongly above her, beside her... but still he avoided, delayed that one moment when there would be no turning back, although the spirits deep within her called out for it... and she writhed in agony under the blinding heat of his presence, his love burning holes through her, piercing her with arrows of light that it hurt to see. Her voice called out despite herself.
"Tsukasa, _please_..."
And that's when he allowed himself to come home to her, and despite the pain she welcomed him joyfully, fully, all the doors opening within her light-infused heart and body. She saw the swinging pinpricks of the stars, or the New York city lights, or both, spin in arcs of dizzy madness above her head. She thought he must be melting into her, or she him. She wasn't sure anymore where she ended and he began. But it didn't matter, not now, not when the world was like a spinning star going faster and faster around itself until the very space around it, the very fire within it, exploded into and upon itself--
a supernova--
and white-hot stardust filled the dark caverns of space with fast-fading warmth, warmth that pulsed into the beyond on and on into eternity, creating a new galaxy, a new world, a new forever...
...and that world was, indeed, made just for them.
"Tsukasa..." she whispered, nibbling idly on his ear.
He stirred, pulled her in. "What?"
"What do you want to do now?"
She could feel his jawline move as he grinned. "The same thing again."
"I don't mean that," she said in a voice she knew would be a little too loud. He winced, and she quieted somewhat. "Where do you want to go from here?"
He rolled over, pulled her to him, their skin singing as they touched. "I don't know," he said lazily. "I was thinking of going home."
"Home?" Her heart skipped a beat. She had often felt the aching tug of homesickness while she'd been here, but now it hit her stronger than ever. There were so many faces she wanted to see... the smiles on the faces of their mutual friends when they returned together... the annoyance in her brother's scowl as he chewed her out for leaving him alone... the gentle smile of her best friend as she told her everything that had happened.
Normality. The beautiful truth of the things she had lost and found again. Tsukushi sighed. Even seeking a simple life, she realized, she had complicated so much herself that the whole world had faded into confusion, and she had lost sight of what it was she'd been looking for.
But what could be more simple than this? In the darkness, being held by the one she loved, dreaming of home. Suddenly the phrase she'd used to describe her life meant something entirely different. It meant that she had traveled through the forest of tall, proud cherry trees, and though she had nearly lost her way among the snow-white eternity of beauty, in the end she had not let their proud and ostentatious blossoms deter her from her true goal. The truly important things were hers to take and cherish, from this night on, and as far into the future as she could dare to dream. And she would stay true to that motto that rang in the back of her brain - she would never let them go again.
She lay against Tsukasa's shoulder and closed her eyes.
"Hana yori dango," she murmured.
--thank you tsukushi and tenshi my beta readers, and everyone on the hydml, and kamio yoko, and T&T forever and ever and ever and ever--