Nicholas experienced some minor difficulties, but managed to pull a
string or two to get them into Paoli. Starling was dressed wonderfully; having found before packing for
the trip that the only nice dress she had was the one Dr. Lecter adorned her in
during those hours she was under his captivity. Not being one to toss money aside, the conservative sense in
Starling took control and she packed it as her evening dress.
At the revealing cut, Nicholas arched both brows. He didn't ask where she got it, nor did she
offer to tell him. If he knew it was one
of the gifts from Dr. Lecter, the hurt and shock he would feel would devastate
him.
Ever, wearing the dress for the first time in four years, loving the
way it still fit perfectly, Starling felt a shudder of pleasure, knowing it was
something he would enjoy seeing her in. That only elevated her excitement, and she couldn't wait for a chance to
be seen in public.
Upon the first evening of their arrival, Nicholas had asked around and
discovered that Paoli was a very highly recommended restaurant. Now, they were there, having managed to
wiggle in without reservation. The
interior alone was breathtaking; the site of couples dancing on the floor
giving Starling the impulse to join them. She felt giddy, and she was NEVER giddy.
{I never want to leave; I never ever want to leave!}
Starling was seriously considering how she might talk Nicholas into
leaving without her.
After being seated, the waiter, who spoke in both fluent Italian and
English, informed them of the wine list and said he would return in a minute
for their selection.
In the time of his absence, Starling leaned forward, feeling compelled
to display her thanks for him bringing her here, a place that met and surpassed
all her wildest expectations. With a
coy smile, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she said.
"For what?" He knew what she was thanking him for; he just wanted to
hear her say it.
"For bringing me here. To
Florence, to this restaurant. Nick, you
are too much."
To that, he smiled but had no reply.
Starling sighed happily and resumed studying the menu. Things were perfect.
* * *
For the longest moment, all Dr. Lecter could do was watch.
At first he thought it impossible, the very idea that they could be
here at the same time, in the same restaurant, too incredibly bizarre. But her scent was unmistakable, one no
specialist alive could replicate. After
a minute, his eyes informed him that his nose had not betrayed him. Starling, his Starling, was indeed here.
Not only was she here, she was with another man.
Dr. Lecter's gazed darkened, but overall, his face remained
unchanged. For a minute, he forgot that
he, too, was accompanied with a young woman, someone that could just as easily
provoke jealousy from anyone in this room. But not her. Not her with her
young companion. The thought was
maddening, and though he remained in perfect control, he found it was much more
difficult than he had ever imagined.
Now, the question was, did he ignore this pleasant though unfortunate
discovery, or did he reacquaint himself with the lovely former FBI agent? Had she been alone, the decision would've
been quite easy, regardless of the presence of another woman at his side. But the rules were drawn now, without even
having faced each other, they were drawn. All in all, Dr. Lecter knew he would have to pay his respects sooner or
later, but when she was alone. The man
with her was difficult to look at, and he found he was gripping his dinner
knife a tad too tightly.
Esamarla noticed his tension, but couldn't get him to confide his
sudden discomfort. She tried to follow
his gaze but was unsuccessful. Her
persistence almost annoyed him to the brink of wanting to lunge the knife into
her instead of Starling's companion.
After a minute, he returned to himself and smiled pleasantly.
"Charles?" she asked, her eyes wide with concern. "Are you all right?"
"Perfectly," he replied with a quick smile. "I thought I saw an old friend."
"You looked like you wanted to kill someone."
Dr. Lecter's brows perked and he fought off a smile. "Yes. It wasn't a good old friend. We
left on somewhat rough waters. I was
hoping for reconciliation, but my eyes aren't what they used to be. Now please, don't let it ruin our evening."
The night was only
beginning. Dr. Lecter smiled now,
keeping an eye but not intently staring at the couple across the room. For now, he would enjoy himself. After all, this was an incredible place. There was plenty of time to deal with them
later. And deal with them he
would. Before Starling left this place,
she would be perfectly aware of everything. He would see to that.
* * *
The evening was a tremendous
success. Several hours spent dining, drinking, and dancing. It was
everything she needed right then, everything she could ever need. Being
away from the United States and in this scenic dreamland was surreal, and she
never wanted it to end. For the third or fourth time that night, she
contemplated on how she should break the news to Nicholas; that he would indeed
be returning to New York alone.
The more she thought about it, the more
real it seemed. No longer was it a simple mind joke that she was teasing
herself with. It was a serious consideration, one she could see herself
feasibly doing. There was nothing back in the States for her, nothing but
Nicholas, of course.
At that thought, she chuckled. If
Nicholas was the only thing keeping her home, then he was in for some
heavy-duty competition. Looking at him tonight, she read the gaze in his
eyes that informed her that he was at least partly aware of these
thoughts. This surprised her, for she didn't imagine herself so easily
read.
When he offered his hand for a dance,
Starling found she had no choice but to oblige. She owed him some
compensation for the evening. Standing from the table, she let him lead
her to the dance floor and smiled as they glided in perfect unison, their
rhythm perfectly with the music. They had never before danced together
and she could tell he was as pleased with her reaction to him as she was of
his.
After a few dances, Nicholas excused
himself to tend to a call of nature. Starling remained on the dance
floor, taking in the wonderful atmosphere. Truly this was a magical
place, some fabled land she could before only read about. Thank God she
knew Nicholas! Thank God he thought to bring her here! Now, if she
could only figure out how to get rid of him.
A hand very softly brushed against her
bare arm, just enough to make her shiver. What was this? She had
never known Nicholas to touch like that, and she was appalled to find herself
wanting to respond to it. It was a minor touch, but warm and
welcoming. Also hidden and mysterious, something she knew but didn't
know. It reeked in familiarity.
As she turned to meet this touch, she
knew why it was familiar, all too well. Her heart stopped as her eyes met
that notorious gaze, that gaze she had seen in countless dreams over the course
of the past four years. That gaze, that gaze.
Whatever the gaze was, it was drown out
with the sound of his voice. "Good evening, Clarice," Dr. Lecter said,
his eyes boring into her's.
There was nothing in her throat, no
voice to respond with. She wanted to pounce him then, the side of her
that had cried out in want and need and regret for all the wrongs committed
taking over at first. However, Miss Practical Sensible overruled that
voice, and the invisible blockade of what was and wasn't allowed slammed in
front of her.
In a minute, she found her voice.
"Dr. Lecter…" she said, it coming out was a whisper when she wanted to sound
brave.
For a minute, there was nothing
else. Dr. Lecter's eyes implored her's hungrily before lowering to gaze
over the rest of her. At her attire, his face brightened
considerably. "I must say I am a tad surprised, Clarice. I never
would have thought you would keep the dress, albeit I am not
disappointed. Lovely, taste, I must say."
Starling felt her face flush and cursed
herself for not having more control over the situation. Savoring
her response, Dr. Lecter's grin broadened. This was quite unexpected,
finding her like this, self-conscious and shy. Starling was not the shy
type. There was something on her mind. Perhaps things weren't all
for a lost cause after all.
"Dr. Lecter," she said, her voice
returning to her. "I—"
"Charles?" Starling blinked as this
foreign object came into view, and though she recognized the name addressed as
nothing relating to Hannibal Lecter that she knew of, the owner of the voice
was approaching. She was a young looking woman, strikingly beautiful, and
as Italian as they came. Starling felt her heart stop promptly as the
woman took Dr. Lecter's arm and looked at her inquisitively. "Charles,
who is this?"
"Ah," Dr. Lecter replied, his eyes
dancing at her undoubtedly noted reaction. "Clarice, allow me to
introduce you to Ms. Esamarla Raizonne, my social companion. Esamarla,
this is an…old friend, Clarice Starling."
"L'cOh! Ciao,
Ms. Starling. It's a pleasure to meet you," Esamarla exclaimed warmly,
taking her hand and patting it several times.
Starling must have made a face, or
performed some twitch of the eye that only Dr. Lecter caught, because he seemed
furthermore pleased. "It's nice to meet you, too," she said, not looking
to him, not able to.
"Clarice?" Thank God! Nicholas
came and stood beside her, looking to Dr. Lecter with something of a
frown. She hoped against hope that he wouldn't recognize him.
Plastering a smile to her face, she
turned and grasped his arm, apparently taking him by surprise. "Nicholas,
this is an old friend of mine," she said, convincing even herself for a
minute. "Charles…" her voice trailed off, a streak of panic running
through her, as she didn't know a last name. Dr. Lecter recognized this and
scooped her up before crashing as he, too, flashed a smile and extended a hand.
"Dr. Charles Wilkins," he introduced
himself. "I knew Clarice several years ago while she was training at
Quantico, if you're wondering."
Indeed, Nicholas was wondering, she
could tell. Wondering and coming to several conclusions for
himself. "Did you, now?" he asked through his teeth, anger flashing
across his eyes for a reason even she could not fathom. Surely he had not
recognized Dr. Lecter as Dr. Lecter, had he? It was a possibility of
course, but Nicholas was not difficult to read. If he knew this was the
cannibal that changed his beloved's life fourteen years ago, she would know
that he knew, and so would Dr. Lecter.
The shot of anger was brief, and
settled into a passive state before anyone else could catch it. Starling
knew Dr. Lecter had seen it without having to look at him. If she were so
prospective, he was ten times that amount.
"Clarice," he was saying now, making
her name flow sweetly through his voice like honey, "would you oblige me in a
dance, for old times sake?"
Starling didn't know how or why, but
somehow she ended up in his arms as HE – not Nicholas – led her across the
dance floor, leaving both their companions standing side by side in a
dumbfounded manner.
Feeling more and more like she was
trapped in a dream, Starling found it difficult to focus on the person holding
her than she could stand. This caused her to clutch onto him more so, to
prevent herself from falling over in dizziness. Dr. Lecter did not seem
to mind, and rather encouraged her to do more so.
"Clarice?
Clarice, are you all right?"
He was speaking to her, but she
couldn't hear anything. Over and over again, all she could hear was his
statement about Esamarla.
{My social companion}
The very thought of Dr. Lecter with
someone else was enough to drive her mad. The idea that it could drive her mad was also uncomfortable, for it
confirmed everything that she had been denying for the decade and a half of her
life. Wasted, wasted, wasted! Wasted thoughts through the day, wasted
lectures to herself that emptily convinced her that she felt nothing for this
man, wasted denials, rumors, accusations, gone, gone, all gone. Fourteen years of denial wasted. And all it took to come to this celestial
level of discovery and forbidden knowledge was a chance meeting with him and
his 'social companion' on a vacation that was supposed to soothe her
over-anxious soul. Gone, all gone. All fourteen miserable years of denying this
admittance were gone.
What was worst of all, Dr. Lecter knew
she was jealous, and was enjoying every minute of it in his modestly discreet
manner. She wondered if he still
thought about her at all, or if this new woman in his life was satisfactory. By the way he was encouraging her to hold
onto him, she found herself hoping he was as disgruntled in his relationship as
she was her's.
For a minute, his eyes flashed, and she
was offered a peek at his soul, what he was keeping masterfully concealed from
her. Biting her lower lip, she
victoriously heard him release a breath and sensed some muscle tension in the
arms that held her.
"Clarice? Please answer my question. You know how I well I tolerate disobedience." The threat was empty, of course, said more in a playful
fashion. It made her shiver in
anticipation, her body suffering the same reaction it exhibited when Nicholas
displayed authority. Only this was ten
times the impact, a hundred times the impact.
She suddenly felt moist between her
legs and was aching with urgency that she had never before experienced. When Dr. Lecter's nostrils flared, she knew
he smelled her desire, and again his eyes reflected his pleasure at this
discovery.
What had he asked? It seemed forever ago, and they had only
been on the dance floor for a few minutes. Her mind clicked and set on rewind.
{Clarice? Clarice, are you all
right}
No, she wasn't all right! She was miles from all right! At this preposterous suggestion that she
could be all right while he was escorting someone else, she wanted scream at him,
to tell him everything, to give in, to let him win, to experience the pleasure
of losing. But no, she couldn't do
that. She was Clarice Starling of –
well – the New York Times, but once Clarice Starling of the FBI. The F…B…I. She couldn't admit this desire, even if he knew it already to
exist. The part of her hooked to the
old ball and chain would never submit to this haven, would never allow her to
conform.
{DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!}
{Lie. Lie. It's your only way out now}
"I'm perfectly fine, Dr. Lecter," she
heard herself saying. Oh God, her voice
was trembling. She saw his brow lower
in animal-like disapproval.
"My, my, my, after so many years,
Clarice, and you still haven't learned not to lie to me." At that, he drew her
closer, so that his breath was at her lips. Starling felt herself weaken, a burning sensation sweeping her legs that
wanted to encircle his waist here, with no remorse to who they were or who they
hurt. Nicholas and Esamarla were miles
away, it seemed, and even so, in no place to stop the reunion for two that had
been pining for each other, whether openly or in the shadows of denial, for so
long.
"Dr. Lecter," she whimpered. "Please…"
"Please? I would most certainly like to, Clarice. Certainly you know that by now." He smiled, and though it was a welcoming
smile, Starling distinctly saw the 'do
not enter; wrong way' sign it opened her to. However, she felt helpless to stop herself, she didn't want
to.
{Nicholas is watching, Starling. What are you going to say to him?}
{Fuck him! Don't deny yourself what you
want! He's here, Clarice, he's right
here before you, and you have no reason NOT to indulge. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't!}
Her voice, though, betrayed her. "I can't, Dr. Lecter, and neither can you."
"If you're referring to Ms. Raizonne—"
"Yes, her," Starling said. She blinked. Oh God, did she just interrupt him? To her memory, she couldn't remember doing so. By the look in his eyes, he was surprised,
amused, and pleased. "Her, Nicholas,
and myself. Dr. Lecter…things…"
"You are no longer FBI, Ex Special
Agent Starling. Please do not be
tedious and refer to your obligation to your country. You are not in a position to exhibit authority, though I suppose
you'd very much like to." He smiled as his face neared once more. Starling held her breath as he inhaled her
scent and drew back, his smile remaining. "And judging by your situation, you'd also like to have authority given
to you. Hmm, most interesting, Clarice,
most interesting indeed."
Starling felt her breath stop and knew
he would hear it when she breathed again. So, here she was, for the third time in a lifetime, presented with him
on a silver platter. Her past
experiences of rejecting him had not proved entirely successful, as he remained
on her mind almost constantly.
{Don't be a fool, Clarice. You won't be happy if you don't follow your
heart}
It was hard to abide when she knew what
she would be giving herself to. However, it also excited her to consider.
But she never got a chance to
reply. Nicholas intervened. Grasping her arm, he tore her from Dr.
Lecter's embrace and handed her the jacket she abandoned at their dinner table.
"Come on, Clarice. We're leaving."
He was angry, again. Starling couldn't fight, couldn't
struggle. Warning bells sounded in her
mind as she caught a glance of Dr. Lecter's eyes. He wasn't happy; his face distinctly displayed his distaste. This was terribly rude, she realized.
{Oh God! Nicholas stop! Stop now
before you—}
At that, she found the will to
struggle. "Let go of me, Nick."
"We're leaving." He gave a firm tug of
her arm to assert his authority. Starling felt herself sink. It
was over now. Dr. Lecter's form
vanished from sight as she was dragged from the restaurant.
* * *
