Before I even start this fic, I have to mention some things
1)Insert any normal disclaimer. Okay, I do not own WWF or anything to do with it. That's settled
2)I'm an innocent person, no matter how dumb my fic is don't flame me
3)Forgive me for things I do to Certain characters, I can't actually tell whether you like them or not. Especially Jeff, I Luv Jeff!!
4)If I make any mistakes, please tell me, unless you're really intent on making me sound like a total asshead
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(to make this fanfic much easier, lets just say that everyone lives within driving distance of each other)
Matt Hardy was drunk. Jeff Hardy, was more drunk than Matt. Fortunately, both of them were in safely out of trouble in the comfort of their house. But, that was until they decided to take a short car ride...
"Jeff, *hic* You have to do THIS to start the...*hic..car.."
"Shaddup, I'm not as stu*hic*..pid as I look.."
[Jeff puts the car in reverse gear, steps hard on the pedal,and crashes backwards into a lamp post]
"Darn you! here, let me*hic* do the Driv..*hic*..ing"
[Matt climbs over Jeff, shoves him into the passenger seat, and grabs the steering wheel]
"There, my little baby brother, I'll show you what *hic* REAL driving is!!"
[The car speeds off, keeping at a steady pace of 125km/hour.
Meanwhile, the Hardy boyz managed to stop hiccuping, and were happily listening to some extremly loud pieces of classical music...(remember that they are drunk :D) ]
"hey, Matt, this music is making me feel all sleepy.."
[Matt couldn't hear him, he was busy humming out the tune of one of Beethoven's symphonys]
"hey Matt!! I wanna go visit stone cold!"
[Matt, not believing what Jeff shouted at him]"Who ???"
"STONE COLD!! STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!"
"Why??"
"Cuz he owes me something.He owes me a triple strawberry and coconut ice-cream with chocolate sauce"
"he does?"
"sure he does"
"Okay, lets drive over, I think he owes me a chocolate chip sundae with whipped cream or something"
[So in their state of absolute madness, they drive over to pay a visit to the rattlesnake]
"there it is, Matt, it's Austin's House!"
"hey Jeff... Jeff? JEFF, NO!!"
"Hey Matt, where's his doorbell?"
"Jeff, no, that's a stable, there're horses there, and I don't like horsies!"
(it so happens that they are at the right house, but somehow see the kennel of Stone cold's dog as...well...the wrong place? And Stone Cold Just HAPPENS to own a dog, okay?)
"it's no horse in there Matt, it's just a little hamster, I'll prove it to you"
[Jeff crawls into the doghouse and prods a big lump huddled in a corner]
"Here little Hammy...good little hammy..."
"Woof woof (or what ever sound a dog makes)"
[a 90 pound dog charges at Jeff and pins him. We all know exactly what Jeff can easily do to a 90 pound thing, but anyway, he still walks off with a kinda large rip in his pants]
[after walking in a couple of circles or so, the brothers FINALLY manage to find Austin's Door]
"Jeff, how do we get in?"
"you Arse, have you lost all your manners? we have to knock first!"
[Jeff raises both fists and literally hammers down the door]
"Look what you did! "
[Matt tries to fix the door back in place]
"Matt, look out, Austin's here!!"
Stone Cold:"what the hell are both of you doing?"
Jeff:"Whaddaya mean? you owe me a..."[Matt covers Jeff's mouth]
Matt:"He means that we..uh..you sent for us. Yes, Right! We are the...uh..uh...the lavatory cleaners you hired!!"
Stone Cold:"What bullshit is this? I never hired any toilet scrubbers! Look here, Mr McMahon and I are in the middle of a dinner, and I don't need a pair of Jackasses like you to bother me."
[stone cold tries to slam the door in Matt's face, then he realizes that he doesn't even have a front door]
Stone cold:"what the..."
[Matt drops the door and they run before stone cold gets nasty]
"This is sad...I really wanted my chocolate chip and peanut butter ice-cream with strawberry sauce..."
"Jeff, I thought he owed you a packet of chips!"
"No, he owes 3 packets of double mint bubble gum!"
"Ah, Heck! hey lookie, ain't that Spike and Molly there?"
"Yeah it is! Pull over, Matt!"
Jeff:"Hiya Molly!"
Molly:"Hiya Jeff and Matt!!"
Matt:"hey Molly, wanna come for a ride with us? you can watch us break the 220km/hour speed limit on the highway"
Molly:"Oh, that would be nice of you, but you see, I won't go anywhere
without Spike."
Jeff:"that's an easy one,BOTH of you can come along!"
[Jeff and Matt drag Spike and Molly into the car]
[Now the 4 of them are really speeding down the highway]
Jeff:"this is fun, real fun!"
Matt:"Yeah, I'm unstoppable!!"
[Jeff begins a ridiculous racing car style commentry, but no one can hear much of what he's saying, becuz the stupid loud classical music is still playing]
[Meanwhile in the back of the car...]
Spike:"Oh Molly, I can't tell you how beautiful you are tonight..."
Molly:"WHAT DID YOU SAY,SPIKE? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Spike:"I SAID, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE TONIGHT!!"
Molly:(in a super sappy, romantic voice)"Oh Spike..."
Jeff:"DID ANY OF YOU SAY SOMETHING?"
Spike and Molly:"NO!!"
[As Spike and Molly's faces move closer to each other, the needle on the speedometer moves nearer and nearer to 220km/hour]
[Suddenly, the car stops and throws everybody forwards]
Matt:"Damn it! I was at 218km already!"
Spike:"Why did you stop, then?"
Matt:"The *BEEP*(censcored) car is out of gas!"
Spike:"What?"
Jeff:"Look, we can walk back, besides I just remembered that Chris Jericho back there owes me a drink"
Spike:"What do you mean!! We're STRANDED here, and most likely you're already DRUNK"( how absolutely true)
Molly:"Cool down Spike, we've only been travelling for around 5 minutes, that means that we are only...Hello, author! We need help here!"
Hardyz Angel:"that means that you are about 19km away from town"
Molly:"Right, that means we ARE about 19km away from town"
Matt and Spike:"19 kilometres??"
Hardyz Angel:"Yes, you're gonna have to walk 19 kilometres, and that's the bottom line cuz Hardyz Angel says so!"
Stone cold:"Hey! That's My line!"
Hardyz Angel:"You shut up!"[shoves Stone Cold Back into wherever he came from]
[Okay, I'm the author here, and after a lot of quarrelling, I decide to take Jeff Hardy's advice and skip the boring part where everyone walks home *Jeff jumps up and cheers* and skip to the next scene]
"We're home!!"
"Jeff, I LOST my CAR!! don't bother me and SHUT.THE.HELL.UP!!"
Jericho*appears from somewhere*:"Hey, that's my line!"
Jeff:"Heya Chris, old buddy, you owe me a drink!"
Jericho:"Oh yeah, I do. Well, if you really want it now, then you'll just have to follow me back to my house"
[Matt has fallen asleep on the street, so Jeff and Jericho drag him about 5 houses down the road]
[when they reach Jericho's house they dump Matt onto the sofa and dash into the kitchen.]
"This, is *burp*...Great..."
"Say, Jeff, What are you gonna do with that bro of yours? I'm not letting him spend the night here ya know."
"I'll get him back somehow, unless you're willing to give us a lift in your car?"
"well...fine."
[Matt walks into the kitchen, and Jericho and Jeff are alreadiy starting on their 6th can of beer]
"Hey Matt!! What the..."
"Hah! your bro really looks like a zombie, Jeff!"
"Gee, what's he staring at?"
"Uh...where's he going?"
[Matt walks out of Jericho's back door and Jericho and Jeff follow him]
"Chris! Matt is sleepwalking!"
"Whoa!! where's he going?"
[Okay...we have a Sleepwalking Matt, and a drunk Jeff and Chris following him...So what's gonna happen next?]
"Jeff! Matt brought us to Angle's house"
"he's going in through the back door"
Kurt Angle:"Hey, hey what are you guys trying to do here?"
Jericho:"We were, um...yeah, taking Matt for a walk"
[Matt is meanwhile sleepwrestling with a sofa]
Jeff(laughing):"Matt Hardy vs the sofa!!"(that's corny but I suppose we can't blame Jeffy :D )
Jericho:"It's Kurt's medal!!"(hangs it around his neck and parades around the kitchen)
Jeff:"let me try it on!!"
[Jeff chases Jericho into the living room, and after a short fight, the medal ends up being accidentally flung into the fire]
Jericho:"WhoopsieDaisies..."
Jeff:"..."
Kurt Angle:"My..my medal!!"
[Matt is still sleepwalking (actually he's sleepwrestling) and decides to aim a nice, hard kick at an imaginary something, which so happens to be Kurt Angle's Ass]
Jeff:"Good one!"
Jericho:"yeah!"
[uh...and Kurt is trying to rescue his beloved medal, but...]
Jericho:"Hah! his medal is nothing but a piece of melted metal!!"
Kurt Angle:"*crying really loud*It's not supposed to be like that!! An ordinary fire can just melt up my medal!!"
Hardyz Angel:"You shut up and keep to the script! If I say the medal melts, it melts!"
[Kurt angle the 'Baby' is now going to call for help!! *Hardyz Angel Laughs her ass off*]
Kurt Angle:"Hello? Hello? Get me the Big Show!! Now !! Hello? Yes! I need you to do me a BIG favour, come over now!"
[lets just say that the Big Show simply lives across the street, so he doesn't take that long to come over]
Jeff:"we're gonna have a fun time!"
Jericho:"Matt! Where are you going??"
Jeff:"you idiot, can't you see that he's going out of the front door?"
Jericho:"Oh my God! It's the Big Show!"
Kurt Angle:"Now you get it!"
[the big show is charging towards the open door, when...]
Jericho:"Damn it! CLOSE THE DOOR!!"
&^% BAM! %^&
[The noise wakes Matt up, and he stares at the Big Show wondering why the hell is he lying flat out in front of Kurt Angle's House]
Jeff:"RUN!!"
Jericho:"Come on Matt! you silly ass!!"
[they dash out, stepping all over the big Show, with Jeff landing his foot in...uh...a very sensitive place]
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To be continued...or not
If I get...
0 reviews- I will definately not continue
5+ reviews-Okay, If they're all good, maybe I should continue...
10+ reviews-Am I good or what? (unless the reviews are full of insults)
20+ reviews-It's a record, I never got this much reviews before
30+ reviews-I am So SHOCKED!!
Some non-intesesting facts about this darn fic:
-Some ideas were from my brother ( like the kurt angle part; no wonder its so stupid)
-I was thinking of using the Rock instead of the big show, but I figured that maybe a big bunch of Rock fans will be after me.
-I write stuff according to the characters I like: I hate stone cold and Kurt Angle, but I like the Spike/Molly pair( I think it's cute) I like Chris Jericho too, as for Jeff, I luv him !!
~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^
1)Insert any normal disclaimer. Okay, I do not own WWF or anything to do with it. That's settled
2)I'm an innocent person, no matter how dumb my fic is don't flame me
3)Forgive me for things I do to Certain characters, I can't actually tell whether you like them or not. Especially Jeff, I Luv Jeff!!
4)If I make any mistakes, please tell me, unless you're really intent on making me sound like a total asshead
~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^
(to make this fanfic much easier, lets just say that everyone lives within driving distance of each other)
Matt Hardy was drunk. Jeff Hardy, was more drunk than Matt. Fortunately, both of them were in safely out of trouble in the comfort of their house. But, that was until they decided to take a short car ride...
"Jeff, *hic* You have to do THIS to start the...*hic..car.."
"Shaddup, I'm not as stu*hic*..pid as I look.."
[Jeff puts the car in reverse gear, steps hard on the pedal,and crashes backwards into a lamp post]
"Darn you! here, let me*hic* do the Driv..*hic*..ing"
[Matt climbs over Jeff, shoves him into the passenger seat, and grabs the steering wheel]
"There, my little baby brother, I'll show you what *hic* REAL driving is!!"
[The car speeds off, keeping at a steady pace of 125km/hour.
Meanwhile, the Hardy boyz managed to stop hiccuping, and were happily listening to some extremly loud pieces of classical music...(remember that they are drunk :D) ]
"hey, Matt, this music is making me feel all sleepy.."
[Matt couldn't hear him, he was busy humming out the tune of one of Beethoven's symphonys]
"hey Matt!! I wanna go visit stone cold!"
[Matt, not believing what Jeff shouted at him]"Who ???"
"STONE COLD!! STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!"
"Why??"
"Cuz he owes me something.He owes me a triple strawberry and coconut ice-cream with chocolate sauce"
"he does?"
"sure he does"
"Okay, lets drive over, I think he owes me a chocolate chip sundae with whipped cream or something"
[So in their state of absolute madness, they drive over to pay a visit to the rattlesnake]
"there it is, Matt, it's Austin's House!"
"hey Jeff... Jeff? JEFF, NO!!"
"Hey Matt, where's his doorbell?"
"Jeff, no, that's a stable, there're horses there, and I don't like horsies!"
(it so happens that they are at the right house, but somehow see the kennel of Stone cold's dog as...well...the wrong place? And Stone Cold Just HAPPENS to own a dog, okay?)
"it's no horse in there Matt, it's just a little hamster, I'll prove it to you"
[Jeff crawls into the doghouse and prods a big lump huddled in a corner]
"Here little Hammy...good little hammy..."
"Woof woof (or what ever sound a dog makes)"
[a 90 pound dog charges at Jeff and pins him. We all know exactly what Jeff can easily do to a 90 pound thing, but anyway, he still walks off with a kinda large rip in his pants]
[after walking in a couple of circles or so, the brothers FINALLY manage to find Austin's Door]
"Jeff, how do we get in?"
"you Arse, have you lost all your manners? we have to knock first!"
[Jeff raises both fists and literally hammers down the door]
"Look what you did! "
[Matt tries to fix the door back in place]
"Matt, look out, Austin's here!!"
Stone Cold:"what the hell are both of you doing?"
Jeff:"Whaddaya mean? you owe me a..."[Matt covers Jeff's mouth]
Matt:"He means that we..uh..you sent for us. Yes, Right! We are the...uh..uh...the lavatory cleaners you hired!!"
Stone Cold:"What bullshit is this? I never hired any toilet scrubbers! Look here, Mr McMahon and I are in the middle of a dinner, and I don't need a pair of Jackasses like you to bother me."
[stone cold tries to slam the door in Matt's face, then he realizes that he doesn't even have a front door]
Stone cold:"what the..."
[Matt drops the door and they run before stone cold gets nasty]
"This is sad...I really wanted my chocolate chip and peanut butter ice-cream with strawberry sauce..."
"Jeff, I thought he owed you a packet of chips!"
"No, he owes 3 packets of double mint bubble gum!"
"Ah, Heck! hey lookie, ain't that Spike and Molly there?"
"Yeah it is! Pull over, Matt!"
Jeff:"Hiya Molly!"
Molly:"Hiya Jeff and Matt!!"
Matt:"hey Molly, wanna come for a ride with us? you can watch us break the 220km/hour speed limit on the highway"
Molly:"Oh, that would be nice of you, but you see, I won't go anywhere
without Spike."
Jeff:"that's an easy one,BOTH of you can come along!"
[Jeff and Matt drag Spike and Molly into the car]
[Now the 4 of them are really speeding down the highway]
Jeff:"this is fun, real fun!"
Matt:"Yeah, I'm unstoppable!!"
[Jeff begins a ridiculous racing car style commentry, but no one can hear much of what he's saying, becuz the stupid loud classical music is still playing]
[Meanwhile in the back of the car...]
Spike:"Oh Molly, I can't tell you how beautiful you are tonight..."
Molly:"WHAT DID YOU SAY,SPIKE? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Spike:"I SAID, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE TONIGHT!!"
Molly:(in a super sappy, romantic voice)"Oh Spike..."
Jeff:"DID ANY OF YOU SAY SOMETHING?"
Spike and Molly:"NO!!"
[As Spike and Molly's faces move closer to each other, the needle on the speedometer moves nearer and nearer to 220km/hour]
[Suddenly, the car stops and throws everybody forwards]
Matt:"Damn it! I was at 218km already!"
Spike:"Why did you stop, then?"
Matt:"The *BEEP*(censcored) car is out of gas!"
Spike:"What?"
Jeff:"Look, we can walk back, besides I just remembered that Chris Jericho back there owes me a drink"
Spike:"What do you mean!! We're STRANDED here, and most likely you're already DRUNK"( how absolutely true)
Molly:"Cool down Spike, we've only been travelling for around 5 minutes, that means that we are only...Hello, author! We need help here!"
Hardyz Angel:"that means that you are about 19km away from town"
Molly:"Right, that means we ARE about 19km away from town"
Matt and Spike:"19 kilometres??"
Hardyz Angel:"Yes, you're gonna have to walk 19 kilometres, and that's the bottom line cuz Hardyz Angel says so!"
Stone cold:"Hey! That's My line!"
Hardyz Angel:"You shut up!"[shoves Stone Cold Back into wherever he came from]
[Okay, I'm the author here, and after a lot of quarrelling, I decide to take Jeff Hardy's advice and skip the boring part where everyone walks home *Jeff jumps up and cheers* and skip to the next scene]
"We're home!!"
"Jeff, I LOST my CAR!! don't bother me and SHUT.THE.HELL.UP!!"
Jericho*appears from somewhere*:"Hey, that's my line!"
Jeff:"Heya Chris, old buddy, you owe me a drink!"
Jericho:"Oh yeah, I do. Well, if you really want it now, then you'll just have to follow me back to my house"
[Matt has fallen asleep on the street, so Jeff and Jericho drag him about 5 houses down the road]
[when they reach Jericho's house they dump Matt onto the sofa and dash into the kitchen.]
"This, is *burp*...Great..."
"Say, Jeff, What are you gonna do with that bro of yours? I'm not letting him spend the night here ya know."
"I'll get him back somehow, unless you're willing to give us a lift in your car?"
"well...fine."
[Matt walks into the kitchen, and Jericho and Jeff are alreadiy starting on their 6th can of beer]
"Hey Matt!! What the..."
"Hah! your bro really looks like a zombie, Jeff!"
"Gee, what's he staring at?"
"Uh...where's he going?"
[Matt walks out of Jericho's back door and Jericho and Jeff follow him]
"Chris! Matt is sleepwalking!"
"Whoa!! where's he going?"
[Okay...we have a Sleepwalking Matt, and a drunk Jeff and Chris following him...So what's gonna happen next?]
"Jeff! Matt brought us to Angle's house"
"he's going in through the back door"
Kurt Angle:"Hey, hey what are you guys trying to do here?"
Jericho:"We were, um...yeah, taking Matt for a walk"
[Matt is meanwhile sleepwrestling with a sofa]
Jeff(laughing):"Matt Hardy vs the sofa!!"(that's corny but I suppose we can't blame Jeffy :D )
Jericho:"It's Kurt's medal!!"(hangs it around his neck and parades around the kitchen)
Jeff:"let me try it on!!"
[Jeff chases Jericho into the living room, and after a short fight, the medal ends up being accidentally flung into the fire]
Jericho:"WhoopsieDaisies..."
Jeff:"..."
Kurt Angle:"My..my medal!!"
[Matt is still sleepwalking (actually he's sleepwrestling) and decides to aim a nice, hard kick at an imaginary something, which so happens to be Kurt Angle's Ass]
Jeff:"Good one!"
Jericho:"yeah!"
[uh...and Kurt is trying to rescue his beloved medal, but...]
Jericho:"Hah! his medal is nothing but a piece of melted metal!!"
Kurt Angle:"*crying really loud*It's not supposed to be like that!! An ordinary fire can just melt up my medal!!"
Hardyz Angel:"You shut up and keep to the script! If I say the medal melts, it melts!"
[Kurt angle the 'Baby' is now going to call for help!! *Hardyz Angel Laughs her ass off*]
Kurt Angle:"Hello? Hello? Get me the Big Show!! Now !! Hello? Yes! I need you to do me a BIG favour, come over now!"
[lets just say that the Big Show simply lives across the street, so he doesn't take that long to come over]
Jeff:"we're gonna have a fun time!"
Jericho:"Matt! Where are you going??"
Jeff:"you idiot, can't you see that he's going out of the front door?"
Jericho:"Oh my God! It's the Big Show!"
Kurt Angle:"Now you get it!"
[the big show is charging towards the open door, when...]
Jericho:"Damn it! CLOSE THE DOOR!!"
&^% BAM! %^&
[The noise wakes Matt up, and he stares at the Big Show wondering why the hell is he lying flat out in front of Kurt Angle's House]
Jeff:"RUN!!"
Jericho:"Come on Matt! you silly ass!!"
[they dash out, stepping all over the big Show, with Jeff landing his foot in...uh...a very sensitive place]
~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^
To be continued...or not
If I get...
0 reviews- I will definately not continue
5+ reviews-Okay, If they're all good, maybe I should continue...
10+ reviews-Am I good or what? (unless the reviews are full of insults)
20+ reviews-It's a record, I never got this much reviews before
30+ reviews-I am So SHOCKED!!
Some non-intesesting facts about this darn fic:
-Some ideas were from my brother ( like the kurt angle part; no wonder its so stupid)
-I was thinking of using the Rock instead of the big show, but I figured that maybe a big bunch of Rock fans will be after me.
-I write stuff according to the characters I like: I hate stone cold and Kurt Angle, but I like the Spike/Molly pair( I think it's cute) I like Chris Jericho too, as for Jeff, I luv him !!
~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^^~*^